


His Padawan

by blueenvelopes935



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark Kylo, F/M, Force Visions, I love a castle, Lies! Lies!, Mustafar, People Die in My Fics, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Baby, Second Empire, So many lies, Starkiller - Freeform, Tatooine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:02:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 97,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9568721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueenvelopes935/pseuds/blueenvelopes935
Summary: In this Dark AU, Rey finds the droid in the desert with the map but she never finds the Resistance.  Instead, Kylo Ren finds her.  A girl meets a Sith named Ben Solo in a castle on Mustafar.  Things are never what they seem on the Dark Side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Его падаван](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14541441) by [Tersie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tersie/pseuds/Tersie)



> This story will be written in two parts. This is Part One: Truths and Lies
> 
> Inspired by Gotterdamerung.

_I don't know anything about the droid.  I’m a scavenger and I found it in the desert._

 

He has just finished up a routine mission on an ordinary day when he discovers her.  Kylo Ren arrives back to the _Finalizer_ to sense a Force imprint so enormous that it blinds his mind's eye even before he exits his command shuttle.  She is like a beacon in the Force.  So much beautiful, beguiling Light.  Kylo is caught off guard.  Shocked even.  Definitely intrigued.  For it is a rare thing to encounter another Force-user, let alone one with this magnitude of power.   

 

He stands there, still and concentrating amid the surrounding bustle of his flagship’s hangar bay.  Yes, somewhere on his ship is a woman filled with the Force.

 

_I'm not part of the Resistance.  I don't care about politics.  I don't even vote._

 

It takes but a moment of concentration before he hears her unguarded thoughts.  This is Kylo Ren's natural talent in the Force:  the ability to permeate minds.  Non-Force users cannot hide their thoughts from him.   And only those Force-users who intentionally erect layers of mental barriers can resist him.  But this woman has no barriers.  She must be untrained then.

 

_No, I don’t belong to the Church of the Force.  Their prophet Luke Skywalker is a myth.  He never existed and he’s not coming back._

 

Her thoughts are frantic and interspersed with screams in the Force.   Someone is hurting her.  She is loud, vehement and terrified as she is tortured for answers she does not know.  And now, Kylo Ren is even further intrigued.  Wondering who this woman is, how she got picked up by the First Order, and what she is suspected of doing.  From what he’s overheard, she is mixed up with that mess on Jakku.  And that makes him very suspicious.  Because random untrained Force-users don’t just find renegade droids in the desert carrying maps to Luke Skywalker without a reason. 

 

_No, I don’t know anyone named Poe Dameron.  I told you—I’m not part of the Resistance._

 

He stalks through his flagship in a hurry for the detention center.  It's a place he knows well.  As he travels down crowded corridors the crew shrinks from his path.  But Kylo doesn't notice.  He is focused solely on her.  Her Light keeps beckoning him closer, teasing him with her siren's call, even as her pain increases.  He's almost to the detention center when in the Force he hears her tearful plea for mercy.   It is pitiful, even to a Sith who has stood unmoved listening to many beg for their life. 

 

Then, she goes quiet. 

 

He's too late, he fears, and she is dead.

 

Kylo bursts into the cell to find an unconscious young woman.  She's barely more than a girl, really.  And she looks like a filthy vagabond dressed in sandy rags.   She is hurt, of course.  Broken arms, smashed and swollen face, black eyes, a busted lip, and visible bruises everywhere.   It is a wretched sight.  He takes it all in, transfixed by the juxtaposition of all this ugly suffering against the backdrop of her beautiful Light.

 

Kylo Ren has seen the carnage of war and he’s caused quite a bit of it himself.  Bystanders and innocents get caught up in the crossfire all the time.  It is an unavoidable truth.  But this is different somehow.  This secretly powerful girl had not been the enemy.  She might even have been an ally.  But she is the enemy now, he knows.  These old-school questioning tactics are so uncivilized.

 

“We’re getting nowhere, Sir.  This girl is tough.  We can’t even make her scream.”

 

Yes, they had, Kylo thinks to himself.  She had screamed for help in ways these lesser mortals could not comprehend.  And her pain and those screams had been a waste.  This interrogation is pointless because the girl has nothing to tell them.  The whole raid on Jakku had been bungled from the beginning, he thinks with a scowl behind his mask.    The droid had destroyed the map as soon as it had been taken by the First Order, no doubt following prearranged orders.  And so the First Order is worse off than before the raid because now there is no map to be found.  He had destroyed a village, destroyed pompous old Lor San Tekka, and now this girl too.  And he is farther than ever from finding Luke Skywalker.  Kylo Ren is a Sith, so his ends justify his means.  But his violence always has a purpose.  And, in retrospect, this violence seems both wasteful and counterproductive.

 

The only thing of value he has to show for it is this girl with her Light.

 

Kylo steps closer now to inspect her.  She has hair the color his mother’s hair used to be before time streaked it with grey.  It’s much like the color of his grandmother’s hair in the portrait Vader kept in his castle.  The girl’s hair is matted with blood in places and tied back in tight knots.  He wonders what it looks like worn loose.  The girl’s face is a mess so it is difficult to appraise.  But underneath it all, he suspects that she is pretty.  Maybe even beautiful.  Like her Light. 

 

Kylo raises a gloved hand to her temple.  In her unconscious state, it is easy to penetrate her memories.  And what he sees is sobering.  He shouldn’t be surprised given this girl is a scavenger from the graveyard world of Jakku in the Western Outer Rim slum of the galaxy.  But still, she makes an impression.  For hers is a life of deprivation and hardship.  A daily struggle for portions and hydration tablets.  A life of loneliness without a satisfactory explanation.  For far too much of this girl’s past is a mystery even to herself. 

 

He sees that she is determined and, at times, fierce.   But mostly, he sees that she is soft.  Given to gestures of charity that she can ill afford and moved to tears at the sight of suffering far less onerous than her own.  It was typical of her to take pity on the renegade Resistance droid, he sees.  That’s the sort of thing this girl does.  And this time, it had been an unfortunate mistake.

 

And maybe these random acts of kindness are the true way in which this girl is most fierce.  For stubbornly she clings to hope.  Mostly, it’s the hope of a family.  To a vague idea that one day someone will walk into her life and change it for the better.  That she will be valued by someone, that she will matter to someone, other than herself. 

 

He should kill her.  Right here, right now.  This girl has too much latent potential to live.  If he releases her and somehow she finds her way to Luke Skywalker, she might become an enemy.  And a formidable one at that.  This girl has already found the droid in the desert with the map, so perhaps this is the Force trying to find a way to connect her to a teacher.    Kylo has been a student of the Force long enough to know that there are no coincidences in life and there is no such thing as luck. 

 

He stares at her long and hard, remembering her plea for mercy that only he could hear.  In her most desperate hour, the Light had cried out in the Force to Darkness.   That unexpected connection seems extraordinary to him.   And so, he makes a decision.  Kylo Ren is a calculating Sith, so he is rarely impulsive on things that matter.  But today, he is weak for the Light and impulsive for this mysterious girl filled with the Force.    It’s no great risk, for she is no one.  No one will care what he does with this girl.  And no one will know.   He’s Kylo Ren and he can take whatever he wants.  In all the galaxy, he only answers to one man.

 

“Sir?”  The interrogator by his side is looking at him expectantly.  “Did you discover anything?”

 

Kylo ignores the question.  Instead, he growls his orders. "Take her to the medibay, put her in a bacta tank, and heal her completely.  NOW!"   

 

"But, Sir--"

 

"This interrogation is over."

* * *

 

_She is in Hell. It's an old-fashioned fire and brimstone version of Hell with flames and the smell of sulfur.  Here is a place where sinners pay dearly for their crimes and emerge forever changed.  Where men are mutilated and burned alive as they writhe in agony and scream out their hate.    Where the righteous look on resigned and grim before they turn and walk away.   You were my brother, but now you are your own victim._

_This is a place where people are forever lost and left to suffer and die alone.  Only sometimes they don't die. They live on in torment with a broken body and a broken soul.  They become a creature in a mask.  More machine now than man.  And this might just be the worst fate of all.  Because when hate is all you have left, it is very hard to let go of it._

 

The nightmare is disturbing and strange.  Rey is repulsed.  She comes awake suddenly and sits up to find that she is actually in Hell.  It had not been a dream.  Or maybe, she thinks, she is not yet awake. 

 

Rey lays on a bed in a dark unfamiliar room that glows eerie red with light from a wall of windows.  The view looks out on a sea of lava. It is all shades of molten red and yellow, rushing past in a dizzying torrent.  Fascinated, Rey climbs to her feet and approaches the windows.  Even with the super thick transparasteel, Rey can still feel some of the intense heat.  It reminds her of the desert and Rey leans forward to press her palms against the glass to experience the warmth.  It's comforting because Rey is very disoriented.  And probably still asleep and lost in her dream.

 

She's not wearing her desert togs, Rey realizes as she looks down at the institutional looking medical gown she now wears.   She hugs the voluminous gown close as she realizes with shock that she has nothing on underneath.  She's barefoot and her hair is loose.  Rey runs a hand through it and feels that it is clean.  The gesture causes her hand to brush her cheek and Rey touches a bandage. 

 

And now, it all comes rushing back to her.   The stormtroopers surrounding her AT-AT in the wee hours, no doubt tipped off by an angry Teedo who had probably wanted the First Order's bounty on the droid.  The troopers taking the droid and taking her.  The questions, so many questions for which Rey has no answers.  They suspect that she is Resistance, that she is hiding something.  And so they try to beat the answers out of her. 

 

But Rey knows nothing about a map, she's never heard of anyone named Poe Dameron, and she's not stupid enough to believe that Luke Skywalker is actually real.  She can't convince them that she is just a scavenger.   And as her questioners grow increasingly frustrated, their methods of persuasion become more brutal.  Still, Rey remains stoic through it all.  She's taken more than her fair share of punches through the years.  But over time, it gets hard to maintain her outward calm.   Rey has never been more scared in her life.  So she screams but only in her mind.  She won’t give her jailers the satisfaction of hearing her pain.  

_Stop! I don't know anything about a map.  I'm not part of the Resistance._

_Owww!   That hurts.  That really, really hurts._

_I will survive.  I am Rey of the Desert and I will survive.  I will survive until I die._

_I don't know anything about Luke Skywalker.  I don’t belong to that hokey religion._

_Oh, Gods, what is that?  Owwww!  I think you broke my arm!  No!  Not again—please!  I can't scavenge with two broken arms.  I'll starve if I can’t work.  Have mercy please!_

 

And that's the last thing Rey remembers before waking here.

 

There's a mirror on the wall and Rey stumbles over to it.  She peels back the bandage on her cheek.  It's a bacta bandage--expensive stuff to use on a prisoner.   Beneath it, her cheek and jaw look normal.  Rey pulls at another bandage on her forehead and one on her shoulder and finds the same.  There are fading bruises on both her forearms, barely visible in the dim light.  But nothing hurts.  Nothing is broken.

 

Someone has healed her. 

 

Rey is more confused than ever now.  She turns back to the mirror for another look when she sees movement reflected there.  It’s a man.  He steps from the darkened recesses across the room.

 

Rey whirls.  Instantly, she is on alert.  She casts her eyes around for something to use as a weapon but the bedroom is sleek and sparsely furnished.  She finds nothing.  And she sees that the stranger is standing directly in front of the room's only door.   Neither fight nor flight is a good option now.   

 

"Don't be afraid," the man says quietly.  The dim, reddish light reflects on his pale skin, giving him an otherworldly appearance.   Her first impression is that he is tall.  Many inches taller than she is.  "I won’t hurt you."

 

"Where am I?" Rey demands.  "Is this the F-First Order?"

 

"No.  This is my home.  On the planet Mustafar.”  The man nods encouragingly at her.  Rey sees that he is young.  He has flowing dark hair and sharp cheekbones.  He's dressed casually wearing a loose V-neck black tunic and slacks tucked into boots.   “You are safe."

 

She is wary.  "Who are you?"  

 

“My name is Ben."

 

"Ben?" she squints and echoes stupidly.

 

"Yes.  Ben Solo."

 


	2. Chapter 2

As the girl stares at him, Kylo stares back.  Without the bandages on, she is even prettier than he had hoped.  She has an intelligent face with classic features and strong brows.  The red glare of Mustafar highlights the hollows under her cheekbones but he can't take his eyes off her pouty lips.  Because despite her self-assured stance and strong voice, those alluring lips of hers are trembling.  The girl is a mix of confidence and vulnerability and it slays him. 

 

She lifts her chin and boldly announces, “I don't know you, Ben Solo.  I want to go home.  Now.  To Jakku.”

 

She is probably the only person in the galaxy who wants to go back to Jakku, he thinks to himself.  But he strives to be understanding nevertheless.  To keep the habitual tone of command from his voice.  It doesn’t quite work.  “There is nothing there for you now.  You will stay here.  You are my guest.” 

 

The girl is confused.  Understandably so.  “I was a prisoner of the First Order . . . “ 

 

“Yes,” he confirms.  “You were released to my custody.”

 

Her eyes narrow and he regrets his choice of words.  “So I am your prisoner now?” she demands, looking askance at him.

 

“No, you are my guest.”  He means his words to be welcoming but she’s looking at him now like they are a euphemism for something tawdry. 

 

“I don't understand.  How did I get here?”  She demands answers. 

 

“I rescued you. The First Order would probably have killed you.   At best, you would have ended up in one of their work camps.  My home is far preferable, I assure you.”

 

She looks unconvinced.  “How did you do that?  R-Rescue me, I mean.  I was on a First Order star destroyer--”

 

“I know people in the First Order,” he tells her cryptically and then shrugs.  “They will do what I say.”

 

He sees that she is growing more suspicious now, not less.  “Why?  Why would you help me?” she demands.

 

“Why did you help that droid in the desert?” he counters.  “It got you arrested.”

 

“I felt sorry for it,” the girl admits softly.  “It was lost and alone.”

 

“Well, there you have it.”  He smiles to reassure her.  “I felt sorry for you.  You too were lost and alone.  It would be a terrible waste if the First Order were to destroy you, Rey.” 

 

She blinks and takes a step back now.  “You know my name?  How do you know my name?”

 

“The First Order told me when they gave you to me.”

 

“G-Gave me to you??”  The girl’s eyes widen now and she scowls as she misunderstands.  She’s looking at him like she fears she is one of those unlucky women who gets trafficked across the galaxy.  “I am not yours!  I am a free woman!  I am not a slave!  I have the papers to prove it back on Jakku.  The First Order cannot sell me and you cannot buy me.  I am free!  I own myself!”

 

“I know,” he says quietly after her heated outburst subsides.  “There will never be slaves at this castle.  Ever.  Rey, you are safe.  I will not hurt you.   There is nothing to fear.”

 

Again, she looks unconvinced.  “What do you want from me?” she asks with much trepidation.

 

“I want to teach you.  You need a teacher.  Come.  I will explain.”   

 

He beckons her forward through the door.  She hesitates a long moment of indecision and then complies.  His Jakku gamine wears nothing but a hospital gown but still she strides forward with shoulders back and her head held high like a queen.  Rey has innate grace, he realizes, as he walks her to the dining room.  It makes him think she could be marvelous with a sword.  Not that he’s going to teach her that, of course.

 

The dining room is an intimate space arranged for the comfort of a few and designed to meet the peculiar tastes of one.   And so, like the rest of the interior of his castle, the dining room has windows overlooking the terrain of Mustafar.  This time it’s the rocky riverbank next to the main flow of lava.  Rey takes one look outside and raises a hand to her mouth.  “Oh,” is all she says and she exhales softly. 

 

Kylo walks over to the dining table.  It is set with two places.  He removes the covers and gestures Rey into a chair.  “Come.  Sit and eat.  It’s been days since you have eaten.”

 

Tentatively, Rey sits down.  She seems uninterested in the food for she keeps glancing back at the window with the dramatic volcanic landscape.  He sees it troubles her but he ignores this.  She’ll have to get used to lava scenes if she is going to live here.

 

Kylo seats himself and raises his glass in a salute.  “To you, Rey.  Welcome to Mustafar.”  Her brow furrows, but she dutifully picks up her glass.  He watches as she drinks the water.  She tips her head back and gulps it down as fast as she can.  He can’t help but wonder at all the years of thirst that must lay behind that greedy gesture.  Truly, this desert girl has lived a wretched life so far.

 

Rey looks intimidated by the food.  She blinks at it a moment.  Finally, she takes up a spoon and starts shoveling food in as fast as she can.   As if she’s worried he will snatch her plate away.    It’s pitiful, Kylo thinks, like feeding a stray and hungry animal.  But he says nothing as he silently watches her hasty gobbling with her hands and a spoon.  From the looks of Rey, scavenging had not been particularly prosperous.  She is rail thin.  He remembers that on the medical report the doctors had given her vitamin shots in an attempt to correct the worst effects of her chronic malnutrition.  Extreme poverty is the scourge of the galaxy’s Outer Rim, but Rey’s experience has been worse than most. 

 

He sees that she’s not even enjoying the food.  Food is sustenance to Rey, he guesses.  She probably has had no occasion to be discriminating.  Between bites, she alternates between looking at him and looking out the window.  He can feel her deep mistrust and fear in the Force. 

 

Kylo concentrates a moment and the water pitcher on the table levitates and moves across to where Rey is seated.  Then it tips to refill her glass.  Rey watches with rapt attention.  But as the pitcher nears her she bolts upright and leaps back in fear, sending her chair crashing to the ground.  “W-What is that?  W-What are you doing?  Are you doing t-that??”

 

The pitcher settles back down on the table.  “That is the Force,” Kylo tells her quietly.  Then he reveals what he has been waiting to share, “Rey, you have the Force.  It is a rare gift.  It is why I brought you home with me.  I would not let the First Order destroy you.”

 

“The F-Force?”  She’s still staring at the water pitcher with alarm.  Like it might hurt her.  She is awkward and embarrassed as she rights her chair and sits back down. 

 

“Yes.”  He locks eyes with her.  “Rey, you need a teacher.  I can teach you the ways of the Force.”

 

She says nothing in response.  She just repeats herself again.  “The F-Force.”

 

“What do you know of the Force?”  Kylo asks plainly.

 

Rey’s eyes again find the water pitcher on the table.  “I thought it was a myth,” she admits and he can feel her honesty.  “Like the stories of Luke Skywalker.  And the tales of the Jedi and the Sith.”

 

He’s not surprised by her response.  But still, it irks him.   He hates to hear the Force disrespected.  “It’s not a myth,” he informs her in clipped tones.  “The Force is real.  The Jedi are real.  The Sith are real.   Luke Skywalker is real.”

 

She stares at the water pitcher, thinking. 

 

“How do you know this?” she challenges finally.  This girl is not the passively accepting type.  She wants answers. “How do you know the Force?”

 

Kylo looks her in the eye.  “Because I am a Sith.”

 

“Oh,” is all she says.  And that tells Kylo that she has no idea what he has just revealed to her.  Again, he’s not surprised.  The Sith are secretive by nature and even the Jedi know little of them.  Plus, in the sixty years since the Old Republic fell, first the Empire and then the First Order have waged effective propaganda campaigns against the Force.  It’s a dangerous religion, the conventional wisdom has it now.  A leftist cult that should not be revived.  The Jedi attempted to take over the galaxy once before and if allowed to exist, they will do so again.  Don’t believe their high-minded rhetoric, they don’t believe in democracy.  They want a theocracy run by their own priests with their magical Force.  Fear is a marvelously effective strategy, Kylo thinks to himself.  Clearly, it has worked with Rey.

 

But he’s going to have to get past that if she is to learn.  “The Force is in all of us, Rey,” he tells her.  “It’s an energy field created by all living things.  It surrounds us and penetrates us.  It binds the galaxy together.  Some people are more sensitive to the Force than others.  Those people can be taught to control the Force, to use it at their command.”

 

“To move the water pitcher,” she whispers aloud.

 

He nods.  “Among other things, yes.  Close your eyes,” he instructs.  “Feel it flowing through you.  It’s in you.  It’s in me.  It’s everywhere.”

 

Rey closes her eyes and stays that way for a long moment. 

 

“Do you feel it?” he whispers. 

 

“I’m not sure,” she admits.

 

"Try to move the pitcher," he suggests softly.  That prompts Rey to open her eyes and peer at him like he's crazy.   But Kylo persists.  "Go on.  Try.   See what happens."

 

"How?"

 

"See the pitcher in your mind.  Feel its weight and its shape.  And then lift it with your mind."

 

Rey looks skeptical but dutifully she tries.   Predictably, nothing happens.  Rey doesn't believe that she can do it.  Committing to the Force is a prerequisite for using the Force.   If you don’t believe it, you will fail.

 

But Kylo is patient.  It’s not in his nature, but he will be patient with Rey.  Mostly because Luke Skywalker had never been patient with him.  And Kylo will be damned if he can’t outdo Luke Skywalker as a teacher.  He’s competitive like that.

 

"Try again,” Kylo encourages.  “Try harder this time.  Try like you have been three days in the desert and you desperately need water." 

 

This time, the pitcher moves a little. Very little.  But it moves.

 

"Hey!"  Rey looks amazed and it brings a smile to his face too.   For he remembers what it felt like to take those first steps into a larger world.  “Wow,” she marvels breathlessly.  “Wow.”

 

It’s a small thing, but it’s a start, he thinks.  And seeing Rey’s broad grin makes him think that he will enjoy teaching this girl.  "I knew you could do it.  Rey, you are brimming with Force.   It's there, waiting for you.  Every time you connect with the Force, it will get easier.  Soon it will be effortless.  Like breathing."

 

Her beaming smile now fades as quickly as it had appeared.  "This knowledge is dangerous, isn't it?" Rey raises fearful eyes to his.  "This is why the First Order wants a map to Luke Skywalker.  Because he has this power."  Rey looks down and mutters, "I'm in enough trouble with them as it is."

 

As usual, Rey's instincts are spot on.  But she doesn't know that he will protect her.  She doesn’t know who he is.  "Rey, the First Order will never know what we do here."  He nods at her with encouragement.  "Trust in the Force, Rey.  All things are possible in the Force."

 

"Where did you learn about the Force?" Rey asks suddenly.  This girl is sharp and she doesn't miss a beat.  "How did you learn this power?  And why isn't the First Order looking for you if you use the Force and you’re a Sith?"

 

Those are very good questions.  "Rey," again he waits until he can look her in the eye.  "I have studied the Force from both sides.  First I studied the Light from the Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.  Now I study Darkness from my Sith Master Darth Plagueis the Wise."

 

Kylo has just namedropped the two most preeminent figures in the Force for the past hundred years.  But Rey’s mind goes first to his grandfather.  “Darth like D-Darth Vader?” she asks.   And it charms him.  He’s going to like this girl. 

 

“Yes,” Kylo can’t help but grin.  In history, very few Sith have been openly known by their title, but his grandfather Anakin Skywalker had been one of them.  Everyone in the galaxy knows who Darth Vader was, even if only a few know what his title had actually meant.  “Vader was a Sith the same as I am.”

 

"And you know Luke Skywalker?   He is real?"

 

"Yes.”  Kylo repeats, “The Jedi are real, the Sith are real, the Force is real."

 

"Then why does everyone believe it's all fairytales?" Rey wants to know.

 

Kylo answers with a time-honored maxim of the deceptive Sith.  "Because few people recognize the truth when they hear it.  Usually, it's easier to believe a lie than to know the truth."  Kylo leans forward in his chair now.   He coats his words with a dose of the Force to give them the gravitas she needs to hear.  He wants Rey to understand how important the forbidden knowledge he offers is.  “Be one of the few who know the truth, Rey.  The Force will set you free in ways you can’t possibly imagine.”

 

Rey doesn’t yet know the romance of the Force and its legends and lore.  She doesn’t know the intoxication of its power and the heightened awareness it brings.  Watching her now, Kylo can’t wait to introduce her to it all.  To see those bright eyes of hers widen with surprise at each new skill.  To see her expressive face burst again into a smile at her newfound comprehension.   Rey is a blank slate, with no preconceived notions of Dark or Light, no prejudices about the Jedi or the Sith, no teachings to unlearn or bad habits to break.  Everything about this girl is raw and unpolished, from her table manners to her power.  But she is a diamond in the rough.  His diamond.  And Sith that he is, Kylo covets her.  Wants to shape and to mold her, to manipulate and to control her.  Locked away in secret here on Mustafar.  

 

Yes, he thinks, Rey is what he needs.  The daily grind of his war has become especially tedious of late.  Rey is the project he has been looking for.   Something that will capture his imagination and engage him anew.   And she will be a way for him to make a contribution to the Force and to the future.

 

But first, he has to convince her.  And convincing people is not a skill Kylo Ren employs much.  Usually, he just issues orders. 

 

“You can do this, Rey,” Kylo urges.  “Your potential is amazing.”

 

Rey thinks a moment and then she levels with him. “What are you really after?  Why do you want me to learn the Force?  I know you say you know people in the First Order, but if you're trying to recruit me to learn the Force for the Resistance, I won't do it.” 

 

That irony makes him smile.  “Rey—“

 

“I'm not fighting for the Resistance!  And I'm definitely not fighting for the First Order.  I don't like politics and I don't care about this war.  I just wish it would stop so that no one else will die.”   She looks away and mutters, “I don’t like violence.  I have lived among it my whole life, but I don’t like it.”

 

“Rey—“

 

“I don’t need to know how to move things with my mind.  I can move them with my hands.  This is only going to get me killed.”

 

“That’s your fear talking.”

 

“Yes!  It is.  Because before I woke up in that bedroom I was in a First Order cell with two broken arms!  That’s worth being afraid of!  I didn’t survive on Jakku by taking foolish risks, Ben Solo.”

 

Kylo ignores this argument because he’s not sure how to explain that she is safe from the First Order without explaining that he is the First Order.  And that information is a definite deal-breaker just now.  He tries another tactic.  “Moving a water pitcher is only a rudimentary skill.  But we all start somewhere.  In time, you will see the power the Force opens to you--”

 

“Power?” she interrupts.  “I’m a scavenger—I have no power!  And I have no education and no family and no resources.  I have nothing, don’t you see?”

 

“That all ends today, Rey.”

 

“Yeah—why?” she retorts sullenly.

 

“Because you have me.”  She looks down and away at the window again.  Kylo presses his case undeterred.  “Do not let the First Order keep you from realizing your potential, Rey.  You have been robbed of so much already.  Take this for yourself.”

 

“Why can't I go home?” she mutters.  “I just want to go home.”

 

“You’re afraid and so you want to run home.  That’s what a child does.  You can’t run home.  Rey, it's not safe.    My friends in the First Order may have released you to me unofficially, but you are still believed to be a prisoner.  Now an escaped prisoner.  Don’t forget that the First Order knows where you live.  Jakku is the first place they will look.  That guy who informed on you will only do it again.”  Kylo watches as she frowns.  “Rey, I will keep you safe.  You will be well cared for here.  This will be a gentle, easy life compared to Jakku.” 

 

“Yeah?  And what’s in this for you?” she demands.

 

Her Light, that’s what’s in it for him.  The chance to experience and to be near her gorgeous, beautiful Light.  Plus, the opportunity to control and to teach.  Kylo Ren has been a student for many years and now he wants to try his hand at teaching.  One day, if all goes well and eventually he trusts her, Kylo will explain everything to Rey.  But for now, Kylo tailors his pitch to her ears.  “I love the Force, Rey, and I don’t want its knowledge to be lost.  Even the knowledge of the Light is precious.”

 

“The Light?  What’s the Light?”

 

“It’s a convenient fiction,” he tells her.  “The Force is the Force.  But there is a Light Side and a Dark Side to the Force.  How someone in the Light connects with the Force and uses the Force is different from someone on the Dark Side.  Historically, the Jedi used the Light and the Sith wielded the Dark.  But the distinctions are far more blurred than many would like to believe.”  Kylo can see that he has gotten too abstract for Rey.   Unlike him, she was not raised to believe in the Force and steeped in the lore of the Jedi and the Sith.  This is all very unfamiliar to her. 

 

“It comes down to this:  I have a responsibility to pass on what I know of the Light, Rey.  And I want to pass it on to you.  You, Rey, are my chosen heiress to the Light.  When the First Order tracks down Luke Skywalker and kills him, you will be all that is left of the Light.  You will matter, Rey, in a way that you can never matter as a scavenger on Jakku.”

 

“But then the First Order will come after me!” Rey reasons, no doubt remembering her ordeal. 

 

“No, they won’t.  Not if you have my protection.”  He smiles reassurance at her.  “Give me two months to teach you, Rey.  And if you or I are unhappy, then we will part ways.  Amicably.” 

 

She’s considering.  “Does that mean you'll give me back to the First Order?”

 

“No. I will drop you on the system of your choosing.  Even Jakku, if you insist.”  He sees Rey looking out the window again.  Here he is making the offer of a lifetime and she’s distracted by the lava.  Really distracted.  For now, she stands and walks to the window.  She’s pointing outside with her finger. 

 

“He was right there,” she whispers. 

 

It’s annoying.  Kylo Ren is not used to people walking away from him while he’s speaking.  “What are you doing?” he demands gruffly.

 

“Can we talk about this later?” she complains.  She’s agitated.   “There is a man out there somewhere—I think he is hurt.  He needs help.  We should go to him—we should help him— “

 

“What man?” Kylo asks.  “What are you talking about?”

 

“I don’t know him,” Rey replies as she turns back around.  “I only saw him in a dream.  He is burned.  His friend watched him burn and would not help.  He walked away and left the man to die.  It was a . . . a . . .”   She searches for the right words before settling on, “It was terrible.”  Rey fixes a determined look on Kylo now.  Her Force imprint blazes forth with shining Light.  Here is the compassionate nature that took pity on a lost droid, he realizes.  “There’s a man out there who needs our help.  We should go help him.”

 

It only takes a moment before understanding dawns on him.  Kylo knows this story well.  He sits back in his chair to digest what she’s telling him.  He marvels at this strange girl, staring at her anew.  For now, Kylo is certain that he has done the right thing by sparing her life.  Because this vagabond scavenger is having visions of Darth Vader. 

 

Quietly, he explains, “There is no man out there now, Rey.  That was not a dream.  What you saw actually happened here long ago.  You saw a vision of the past through the Force.”

 

“But the man—what happened to the man?” she wants to know.  Rey looks miserable in the moment.  She’s got her arms crossed hugging at her shoulders.   “It was so awful!  He was in such pain.”

 

Kylo nods at her reflexive empathy.  It fits her Light.  Oh, how this girl is full of the Light.  “The man lived,” he reassures her.  “He was horribly scarred and maimed, but he lived.  He became a great leader despite all his misfortunes.”

 

“Oh.”  Rey turns back to peer out the window again.     

 

Now that he understands, his annoyance with Rey has evaporated.  It pleases him that she is so wrapped up in the drama of his grandfather.  Kylo gets up from the table and crosses to her side.  Now he too looks out on the rocky riverbank.  “The Force is strong in this place, Rey.  The surroundings here are very evocative for a Force-user.  It’s why I love it here.  It clears my head.”

 

Beside him, Rey is still processing her vision. “He was a-abandoned . . . poor man . . . left to die alone.“ 

 

Of course, Rey fixates on the aspect of the story that resonates with her own life story.  But this is not how Kylo prefers to think of Darth Vader.  He honors the powerful, fearsome Sith who ruled the galaxy with his Master Darth Sidious.  Kylo tends to avoid dwelling on the costs his grandfather had incurred along the way.  So he reveals to Rey, “We are standing in that burned man’s castle.  He built it here to remember the betrayal that occurred here.”

 

“Why?” Rey frowns.  “Why would he want to live here?  After all he went through?  Why would he want to be reminded of what happened here?”

 

Hers is an innocent question, for Rey does not yet know that the Sith gain power from emotion.  Most especially rage and pain.  And if there was ever a place that represented rage and pain to Darth Vader, Mustafar is it. 

 

Kylo instead settles on a softer version of the answer.  He doesn’t want to scare her about the Sith.  About himself.   “It takes courage to face your worst fears, Rey.  We grow stronger from our adversity.   Especially a Sith.  The man you saw in that vision lived every day afterwards in pain.  He was encased in a life support suit and wore a mask in public.  But still, he ruled the galaxy for twenty years with Emperor Palpatine.”

 

Her brow furrows and then Rey meets his eyes and Kylo sees awareness dawn.  “Darth Vader??” she asks tentatively.   “That was Darth Vader I saw burn?”

 

“Yes.”  And Kylo is actually a little jealous that she saw this vision and not him.  Visions of the past are quite rare. 

 

“So this is Darth Vader's castle?”  Rey nearly squeals.  Then her mouth hangs open as she whispers, “Wow . . .   Just wow . . . "

 

He is pleased to have awed her so.

 

And then she leans in conspiratorially.  “Ben,” she asks him in a stage whisper.   “Do your friends in the First Order know that you own this place?  They love the Empire, right?  You should be careful,” she warns with a knowing look.  “They might come take it from you.”

 

Her concern is genuine and it makes him grin like a fool.  “They won't take it.  They wouldn't dare.”

 

Her eyes widen at this boast.  And she challenges him:  “Who are you that you can stand up to the First Order?” 

 

“I'm a Sith and I’m Darth Vader's grandson,” he reveals proudly.  And he’s not sure why he’s telling Rey this.  Kylo usually keeps his secrets very close to his chest.  But he wants her to trust him.  And some part of him also wants to impress her.  Because when he’s not in his uniform and mask with his sword playing the part of First Order Sith prince, Kylo doubts that plain old Ben Solo is very impressive.   As it is, this girl is way more impressed by Darth Vader than she is by Ben Solo offering to teach her the Force.   But one day, he thinks, he will live up to his grandfather’s legacy.  Maybe even surpass it.

 

“Rey, visions like this are the reason why you should learn the ways of the Force.  Because whether you want to or not, these visions will keep coming.  The Force can be very persistent in getting your attention.”

 

“I have had other dreams like that,” she confesses to him.  “Mostly about an ocean and an island with an old man who waits.”

 

“Learn the ways of the Force, Rey,” Kylo urges.  He can’t tell if she is tempted or not.  So he presses again.  “Learn the ways of the Force.  It will set you free.”

 

“Two months?  Only two months?” she confirms.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And I will be safe?  Safe from the First Order?  Safe from you?”  


“Yes.”

 

“Can I trust you, Ben Solo?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay.  Then, I’ll do it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Her strange host Ben Solo disappears later that night because he has 'business to attend to', whatever that means.  But first, he introduces Rey to a man called Vanee who is the caretaker for the castle.  Vanee is surely the creepiest guy in the universe.  He is very old with strong, almost leonine features and bright, sharp eyes.  The old servant is very pale like Ben and dresses in flowing black robes that remind Rey of pictures of the old Emperor.  Vanee will see to all your needs in the morning, Ben tells her with breezy nonchalance before he departs. 

 

Sure enough, there is a knock at her door the next morning and it's Vanee.   He ushers Rey into the dining room for breakfast.  Her eyes linger for a long moment at the full plate of food that a droid places before her.  Food is plentiful in this household, she sees.  Everything looks plentiful, clean and well maintained.  Like in the shows she watches on the holonet.  It’s nothing like what Rey is used to back on Jakku.

 

Vanee sits at the table, pours himself a cup of caf and starts talking.   Despite his intimidating appearance, the old man’s demeanor is surprisingly warm.  Rey's standoffish attitude begins to thaw as she senses more friend than foe in this servant.

 

“Now, my young friend, where do you come from?” he asks.

 

“From Jakku on the Western Reaches.”

 

“Ah, yes, the Rim.  And how did you meet the master?”

 

Rey’s ears perk up at this form of address and her eyes narrow.  “The master?  Are you his slave, Vanee?” Rey asks point blank.  She is worried.   “He told me that I wouldn’t be a slave.  Did he lie to me?”

 

The old man smiles kindly at her obvious alarm.  He takes no offense at her blunt words.  “I am not a slave.  I serve the master.  And long ago, I served the master’s grandfather.  There has only been one slave at this castle, miss.  And that slave was the master.  There will never be another slave at this castle.”

 

His answer has Rey completely perplexed.  She has no idea what he is telling her.  “Oh.”

 

“How did you meet the master?” Vanee asks again gently.

 

“I don't know,” Rey confesses as she nervously tears apart a muffin.   It’s a fancy muffin with fruit baked into it.  Not the dry protein muffin she’s used to.  “I was a prisoner of the First Order.  And then I woke up and I was here.”

 

“What were you arrested for?”  Vanee keeps asking his probing questions in a quiet, soothing way.   As if asking a girl about her arrest record were the same as commenting on the weather. 

 

“I don't know.  There was never any charge.”  Rey frowns at the ugly memories.  She would rather forget her time with the First Order.   In her mind, that experience is all a haze of bright lights, loud voices and pain.  “I’m no one, Vanee.  I’m not with the Resistance.  I am just a scavenger who picked up a droid in the desert.  I didn't know that the droid had some map the First Order wanted.”  She pauses and looks away.  “They took me.  And they hurt me.  But I had nothing to tell them . . . ” 

 

“Yes, I saw the bandages when you arrived.  The master said that you were interrogated.”

 

Rey looks down and blinks back the flood of tears that threatens.  Her voice is a husky whisper.  “I just want to go home.”

 

“Rey.”  The old man waits for her to look up.  “Whoever you are, you are definitely not no one.  And you are most welcome here.  This castle is a place of refuge.  It has long been a place of healing.  A place to reflect upon suffering and to gain strength from it.  No one will harm you here.  The master will not allow it.”

 

Somehow, this dignified old man’s words give her more comfort than her whole conversation with Ben Solo last night.  And for the first time, Rey feels safe.  Sort of.

 

“Long have I served the Sith,” the wizened old man continues.  “This family has a difficult path.  The master comes here to be away from the pressures of his life.  To gain focus and perspective in private behind closed doors.  Like his grandfather before him.”

 

Once again, Rey senses that the old man is telling her the truth.  But she has no idea what his words mean.  Clearly, there is a great deal about this man Ben Solo and his strange castle that Rey does not appreciate. 

 

“First things first, miss.  Let’s get you some clothes.”  Vanee produces a datapad and hands it over to Rey.  It's open to a holonet portal for a famous Coruscant-based luxury department store.   There are page after page of outfits to swipe through and Vanee wants her to choose.  After a few swipes, Rey settles on an ankle length simple casual dress and boots.  It's a lovely pale blue and Rey has never worn a dress.  Plus, the model in the picture looks fancy and important wearing it.   Like she’s not no one.  Like she might belong at Darth Vader’s castle eating a fancy fruit muffin.

 

Vanee smiles his approval at Rey’s choice.  Then he hands back the datapad.  “Choose more than one, Rey,” he tells her. 

 

Really?  “How many?” she asks. 

 

“Eight or ten will do.”  

 

“Oh.”  So, Rey gets to work selecting an obscene amount of expensive clothes.    Afterwards, she scans herself.  The clothes will be made to her measurements, down to her shoes and bra size.  And they will be brand new.  Not the usual second-hand thrift items she saves for back on Jakku.  It all seems very decadent, even if new clothes are a necessity.  But it's also fun.  Rey has never had the luxury of choice before.  And, well, she has never owned more than three sets of clothes before either.  Eight or ten sounds simply indulgent.

 

And now she’s back in last night’s bedroom taking a hot shower and enjoying all the fresh running water.  This too is a luxury.   Maybe, Rey thinks, two months with the mysterious stranger Ben Solo won’t be so bad after all.  She could get used to regular meals, hot showers and pretty clothes.  And the creepy old guy isn’t so bad.  Rey thinks she could grow to like him in time.  All in all, last night and today feel like something out of a fairytale.  With a prince of the Force come to whisk her away to his castle to care for her like some improbable Jakku Cinderella.  But then, Rey remembers that all fairytales have a darker, hidden meaning.  There’s always a sharp twist or some danger in those stories, she recalls. 

 

And now, Rey can’t shake a feeling of unease.  Because she feels like there is something she’s not privy to.  Like there is an explanation here that is lacking.  Rey is not a trusting soul.  Abandoned children who raise themselves on harsh Jakku do not trust easily.   Rey knows next to nothing about the tall, dark and unconventionally handsome man who has saved her from the First Order and wants to teach her the Force.  But she wants to trust him and she has no reason not to.  And maybe every reason to do so.   For hasn’t he healed her wounds, fed her, washed her and now clothed her too?

 

Who is this Ben Solo?    Is he the savior Rey has longed for come to rescue her and change her life for the better?   Or has she fallen into the sway of a dangerous man with his own agenda who will get her killed?   Ostensibly, her benefactor offers her comfort, security and forbidden knowledge.   But there has to be more to this, Rey reasons.  

 

He calls himself a Sith and he lives in his grandfather Darth Vader's bizarre castle on an uninhabited industrial world.  She remembers him as a strangely compelling man.  Oddly charismatic as he speaks of the Force with deep reverence.  Clearly, he’s a very serious, determined person.   And one used to being in charge, Rey guesses.   The way he had handed her off to Vanee makes her think that Ben Solo decides and other people implement and follow.   But maybe that's fitting for a man descended from Darth Vader. 

  
  
Curious about her host, Rey grabs the datapad she used to shop and starts googling Ben Solo on the holonet.  She can't find anything on him.  The closest thing she finds are references to Han Solo the smuggler and one-time Rebellion general.  And that's clearly not relevant.  

  
  
So Rey tries a different angle and researches Darth Vader.  There are tons of entries on the Imperial warlord. And that poses its own difficulty because Rey is interested in the man's personal life and family, not military history.  She spends an hour sifting through information before she gives up.  She finds no references that connect Darth Vader to Mustafar or to this castle.  There is no information about a wife, children or grandchildren.  The only potentially relevant data she finds are old published but unsubstantiated rumors that Darth Vader is the biological father of the Rebellion heroine and New Republic leader Leia Organa.   And that's ridiculous, Rey thinks.  

 

Just then, Vanee reappears to give Rey a tour of the castle.   She sees that the living areas are all intimate.  Nothing is grand in scale or in decor.  But everywhere is the monochromatic look of quiet, lived-in luxury.  Almost all the rooms have floor to ceiling windows that make the castle's dramatic exterior surroundings the focal point.  By contrast, the interior furnishings are unremarkable and soothing in color, shape and texture.  It is a strange and oddly zen place, Rey begins to understand.   She’s starting to appreciate why Vanee had described it as a refuge.  Because for a castle in the middle of a volcanic Hell, it’s strangely homey. 

 

“Does the master bring home girls a lot?” Rey asks Vanee.  It’s an awkward question that comes out wrong. 

 

The old retainer just smiles shakes his head no.  “You are the first, Rey.”  And that's sort of a relief.  At least she's not living in Bluebeard's castle for the next two months.  “The current master is a very private man, Rey, when he is not at work.  This place is a haven from prying, curious eyes.  No one comes here but him.  You are the exception, miss.” 

 

And that comment just deepens the mystery as far as Rey is concerned.  So, she starts asking more questions.  “How old is the castle?”

  
  
“It was built the year the Empire was declared.  It was a personal gift to Lord Vader from the Emperor.  Lord Vader lived here until his death.  I came to this castle to serve him and then I returned again to serve his grandson.”

   
  
“Did the master grow up here?” Rey wants to know.

  
  
“No.  The castle skipped a generation.  Lord Vader was estranged from his two children.” 

  
  
“Oh.  How sad.” 

 

“Indeed. Lord Vader had few regrets, but his children were one of them.  And his wife.  My old master deeply regretted his wife.”  Vanee glances over at Rey and urges her, “Come, let me show you something in the master’s chambers.” Rey follows him down a hallway to a locked door and watches as Vanee keys in an entry code.  Behind the door is a suite of rooms--a bedroom, sitting area and office.  Each one is every bit as dark and as sleek as the pictures Rey has seen of Vader’s mask.  She has no difficulty imagining the Imperial warlord inhabiting this space.  

 

Vanee beckons her into the bedroom to stand before a large portrait that hangs facing the bed. It shows a young woman dressed in an intricate white lace gown. She wears a matching lace cap with veil that covers her hair. Long brown curls trail out from beneath.   The woman is facing forward with her head turned aside and her eyes slightly downcast. She looks more sad than demure. Her hands clasp a bouquet of flowers.    

 

“Who is she?” Rey looks to Vanee.

 

“Lady Vader on her wedding day.  Padme Amidala Naberrie was her given name.  She was the junior Senator from Naboo during the Old Republic days.  For years, she was the secret wife of Lord Vader.”  

 

“She is beautiful.” 

 

“Yes, very beautiful.   It was painted posthumously, but I’m told it is a remarkable resemblance. You should look Senator Amidala up on the holonet.   She was a minor public figure in her day.  Very accomplished.  She died about the time the Empire was founded.  This castle has never had a mistress, Rey, only two masters.”  

 

“What happened to her?” Rey feels compelled to ask.

 

“The details are lost to time.  She died shortly after the birth of her twin children.”

 

“Oh.  Did the children grow up here?”

 

“Oh, no, Rey.  Lord Vader's children were stolen from him at birth.  They were adults by the time my old master found them.  Hence, they were estranged.”  Vanee gives Rey a pointed look.  “Through history, the Sith have lived dangerous lives, Rey.  And, like Lord Vader, they sometimes lost the people closest to them.  And that reminds me,” Vanee remarks as he ushers Rey out of Vader’s rooms and back down the hallway.  “There is a safe room in the castle that you should know about, Rey.  It is available to protect us should we experience hostilities.”  

 

Rey’s expression hardens.  “Do you mean a First Order raid?”

 

Vanee looks to her.  “This is a First Order system, Rey.  It would more likely be a Resistance raid.”

 

“Oh.  Yes.  Of course.”  

 

The safe room is in the kitchen hidden behind a supply pantry.  "It's magnetically sealed and blast safe when the door closes, Rey.  The air is filtered and the water is drinkable.  There are rations here that will last a week.”

 

Rey must look intimidated because Vanee rushes to assure her that the room is strictly a precaution.  “No one yet has ever resorted to it, Rey.   The master intentionally keeps a low profile when he arrives at the castle.   As it was during Lord Vader's day, very few people know that we are here.  The existence of this castle is kept very private to reduce the risk.”

 

“But still, you are prepared to be invaded?” Rey raises an eyebrow.  

 

“The master is a Sith.  He has many enemies,” Vanee answers simply.  “Only a man who doesn’t stand for anything has no enemies, Rey.”

 

“So what does the master do exactly, that he has so many enemies?” Rey probes.

 

Vanee turns to look her in the eye.  “He does what his family has always done—the Force.”  

 

“Oh.”  If that answer is supposed to illuminate Rey, it fails utterly.

 

The tour continues and Rey learns that there are only a few bedrooms, a dining area and living area currently in use.  There is also an elaborate medical wing that Vanee explains was necessary for the constant care and rehabilitation that Lord Vader required during his lifetime.  That’s where Vanee now resides.  A sizeable landing platform, an adjacent gloomy reception area with a carved and vaulted ceiling, and state of the art communications equipment round out the tour.  As far as Rey can tell, she and Vanee are the only beings on site although there are quite a few droids for housekeeping and kitchen tasks. 

 

All in all, this place seems very solitary.  "Does your master have his own wife and family living elsewhere?"  It suddenly occurs to Rey that there might be a Mrs. Ben Solo and little Solos somewhere.

 

But, apparently not.  "No.  If the master did have a lady, no doubt he would keep her here for safety given we are at war.  The master has living parents and an uncle.  But the rest of his family are gone."

 

"Oh." And now, despite all the information old Vanee has given her, Rey is more in the dark than ever about the man who has rescued her.   All she knows is that he is solitary and has enemies.  It’s kind of foreboding, actually.

 

Rey is disappointed to see that there is no shuttle kept onsite.  That means she has no ready escape route.  When Rey asks Vanee where he gets supplies for the castle, he tells her that Mustafar is a First Order controlled system so all deliveries and pickups are arranged through them.  We have very good relations with the Order, Vanee tells her.  And that makes Rey think that Ben Solo must be influential indeed to have convinced the First Order to supply his personal castle.  Whoever Ben Solo is, Rey can tell that he is both important and rich.  And that's fitting if he is truly Darth Vader's grandson. 

 

Rey is told what she already knows:  that Mustafar is a volcanic planet and its surface is dangerous and unpredictable.  Do not venture outside, Vanee warns her sternly.  Between the heat, the intermittent poisonous gases and the lava, you will be killed.  Remembering her dream about the man burned alive, Rey is happy to heed this warning. 

 

By the end of the tour, Rey comes to the conclusion that she is stuck where she is. Whether she is a guest or a de facto prisoner is probably a question of attitude more than anything else.   She dearly hopes that Ben Solo intends to keep his bargain about a two month trial period. Because if he doesn't, Rey is not sure how she's going to get off this world on her own.  It occurs to her that this hidden, luxurious castle might be just as much a prison as her cell with the First Order.  And that is unsettling.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey is waiting for him on the landing platform with Vanee as his shuttle descends to the castle. That’s a good sign, Kylo thinks.   He is careful to shed his surcoat and helmet before he arrives.  But it turns out that isn't necessary.  Because when Kylo exits the ramp, Rey is far more interested in his shuttle than in him.  The first time he met Rey, he had been upstaged by Darth Vader.  And now he’s upstaged by his own ship.  Kylo watches amused as Rey walks the shuttle, looking it up and down with a mechanic's experienced and appraising eye.  

 

Kylo catches Vanee’s attention and the sly old retainer winks at him like they share an inside joke.  Which they sort of do. 

 

Kylo crosses his arms over his chest and drawls out to Rey, "Do you approve?"   He’s in a good mood.  He has been looking forward to this. 

 

Rey nods.  She's impressed.  And curious.  "This shuttle looks like it's military grade.  You have a lot of heavy shielding and weaponry here.  And is that a small ventral canon I saw off the back?  I didn’t know you could support that sort of firepower on a ship this size.  Is that legal?" 

 

"Who cares?  There's a war going on, remember?" Kylo reminds her.

 

Rey is looking at the landing struts now. "There's some carbon scoring here,” she calls over her shoulder.  “Looks like you have seen some action during liftoff and landing."  She raises her eyebrows and looks to him for an explanation. 

 

He just shrugs.  Much as he would love to tell Rey some war stories, that’s not an option yet.  "Now and then I come upon hostiles.   Not all my dealings are amicable."

 

Rey puts her hands on her hips and looks to him.  “People shoot at you in your business deals?” she asks point blank.  “What are you—an enforcer for the Hutts?”

 

He smirks at this and shrugs again.  “It can be rough out there.”  And that’s the understatement of the year from the Master of the Knights of Ren.  But Rey doesn’t know that.

 

"So how did you get your hands on this ship?" she wants to know.  "You can't exactly buy this sort of thing off the lot.  This is heavily customized.  Are you some sort of arms dealer?" 

 

He laughs and at his side Vanee smothers a chuckle. 

 

Rey keeps talking. "I do like the color.  The black is very fearsome.   Slick too."   She cocks her head.  "It's very First Order looking.  Don't they fly black TIEs now to confuse visual scanning in space?"

 

"You are very perceptive, Rey," Kylo acknowledges with more truth than she knows.  "There is only one other shuttle like this in the galaxy.  It's owned by the Supreme Leader of the First Order."

 

“Really?”  Now Rey is very impressed.  "I knew your ship looked very First Order.  So that redheaded screaming Leader guy has this ship, too?  Nice.  You’ll get great resale on yours then, I bet.”

 

Redhead?  Screaming?   He frowns.  “The guy you’re thinking of is General Hux.  He is not the Supreme Leader of the First Order,” Kylo informs her stiffly and sternly. 

 

But Rey isn’t listening.  “I wonder if screaming guy has this same souped up hyperdrive,” she muses aloud.  “This looks like you could go point eight beyond lightspeed."

 

"Point nine, actually."  And that's a point of pride for Kylo.  He likes a fast ship.  "This ship could make the Kessel Run in less than nine parsecs," he brags.  Because, well, he’s Han Solo’s son, like it or not.  

 

"The Kessel Run?" Rey grins. "So now you're a drug smuggler and not an arms dealer, is that it?"

 

"No.  I am definitely not a smuggler, Rey.  I am not a criminal," Kylo grumbles as Vanee suddenly succumbs to a dignified coughing fit.  Rey doesn't seem to notice, she's still so awed by his ship.  His scavenger girl is quite a techie, he's learning.   And the random thought occurs to him that Han Solo would love this girl.   They could talk hyperdrive motivators and power couplings for days, he suspects. 

 

Vanee interrupts to announce that dinner is ready, if he wishes.  That sounds good to him so they all troop into his castle.

 

Kylo busies himself looking Rey up and down as they follow behind Vanee.   Evidently, her new clothes must not have arrived because Rey is wearing a workman’s jumpsuit that looks suspiciously like a First Order uniform with the rank patch and insignia torn off.  But evidently, Rey doesn't know that.  Vanee must have improvised for the interim.  The results aren't pretty--the jumpsuit is huge on her with both arms and legs rolled up--but it's an improvement over her hospital gown.   And this girl could wear a paper bag and still be attractive, he thinks.   There’s something about her. 

 

A few days at his castle have made Rey much more relaxed and at ease now, and he likes it.  It emboldens him.  "So, did you miss me?" he leans in to ask sotto voce.   He’s doing his best to be smooth.  He has limited experience with women.  And usually they are trying to please him and not the other way around.

 

"Miss you?"   Rey looks amused at this suggestion.   And then she shoots him down.  "Mostly, I have been missing Jakku."

 

"Which part--the isolation, the starvation or the thirst?   Or the sand?"  Kylo makes a face.  "I hate sand.  Please don't tell me you miss the sand."

 

"It's my home. I miss my home."  She gives him a plaintive look.  "I still want to go home."

 

"Yes, I know.  But it's hot here, just like the desert.   Let the heat remind you of home."

 

"Yes, it's hot here like living inside a volcano.  An angry, erupting volcano."

 

"You have to admit that it's dramatic," he says offhand.  "I think my grandfather must have had a flair for the dramatic."  Vanee excuses himself to check on dinner and Kylo turns back to Rey.  "I missed you," he says softly.  And it’s true.  He can’t stop thinking of this girl. 

 

Rey looks skeptical. "Did not."

 

"Did too." He shoots back like they're six years old and bickering on the playground.

 

Rey changes the topic. "So, how long are you here this time?"

 

Is she anxious to be rid of him?  "Just tonight.  Duty calls."

 

"So what do you do exactly?" Rey asks. "You never did tell me.  Vanee just told me that your business is the Force.”

 

He gives her a cryptic but true non-answer.  "You could say I'm in the family business.  And, yes, everyone in my family has the Force."

 

Half an hour later, he and Rey are eating dinner.   She's gobbling her food just like he remembers.  Her table manners ought to be off putting, but they're not.  Because Rey doesn't know any better.  It will be a long time before he erases the bitter legacy of Jakku, Kylo realizes.   And maybe he will never erase it and these peculiar habits will just become Rey’s eccentricities.  He’s fine with that, he decides.  He has his own eccentricities.   And besides, for a girl with a nearly feral upbringing, Rey has a strange nobility about her.  She is very self-possessed.   Kylo decides that he will take the bad with the good.  And he’s never been one for prissy girls.

 

But quietly, he tells her, "Rey, there will always be plenty.  You never need to worry that there won't be enough."  It’s gently said, but it’s still the wrong thing to say.  Rey looks down.  Suddenly, she looks like she's about to cry.  He hastens to smooth things over.  "Rey, you will never want for anything.  I did not bring you here to harm you."

 

"Yeah, ok," she mutters.  She looks embarrassed now. 

 

He changes the topic.  "Did you practice the Force any while I was gone?"

 

Rey brightens at this.  "Yes."   Then she closes her eyes and the water pitcher at the center of the table raises and floats over to hang in the air before him.

 

"Good, Rey, good."  He is impressed.  His words break her concentration and the pitcher starts to shake a bit.  But then, she regains control and pours water in his glass. Now, he is really impressed.  He's about to tell her that when suddenly the pitcher crashes down.   It hits the tabletop and the dishes jump and clatter.  While the pitcher lands upright, the water inside sloshes out to splash him.

 

"Oh!"  Rey leaps out of her chair and over to him.  She's biting her lip and looking awkward as she weakly offers her napkin.  "I'm sorry!"

 

She looks horrified, but he's laughing as he dabs at his face.  "You have been practicing."

 

"I have," Rey admits sheepishly.  Her face is flush from her accomplishment.  “It was fun actually.”

 

"When I was younger, my Master used to make me uncork and pour his wine with the Force,” Kylo suddenly shares.  “He drinks a lot of wine. I would pour two full bottles worth each night as a kid."

 

"Was that your Jedi Master or your Sith Master?"

 

Kylo shoots Rey a look.  "What do you think?"

 

"The Sith," she decides as she sits back down.  "Definitely, the Sith.  Drunken Force-using sounds kind of wicked."

 

"Correct,” he chuckles.  “Although, Luke Skywalker probably would have been more fun if he drank," Kylo adds dryly.

 

“Tell me more about the Light,” she asks.  “Tell me more about the Force.”  Yes, he sees that Rey’s practice has piqued her interest.  It is as he had hoped. 

 

“The Force is a continuum from Light to Dark.  People are like that too.  We are each a mix of Light and Dark.  The two sides coexist in the universe and in ourselves.  None of us is all Light or all Dark.”

 

“But you said that I was the Light.”  Rey looks puzzled.

 

“You are.  But there is some Darkness in there too, I’m sure, if I look hard enough.”  He smiles absently at her.  Rey looks girlish in her ponytail with her elbows on the table and her chin propped up in her hand.  She's cute like that as she listens closely to his words.  “We all are a mix, and the mix can shift over time.  When I was younger, I had more Light.   But Darkness has overtaken it as I have matured as a Sith.” 

 

“What does that mean exactly?” she asks.  “To lose your Light?”

 

“It means that I feel the call to the Light.  The Darker the Sith, the stronger his call to the Light.”  And that truism is his lifelong struggle, his forever weakness, Kylo knows.

 

Rey shakes her head.  “I don't understand.”

 

“The Force defaults to balance, Rey.  In the aggregate and in an individual.  When you get too far to one extreme of Dark or Light, the Force calls you back to the center.  And so a Dark Sith like myself is moved now and then to mercy and compassion.  Maybe even forgiveness now and then.”  He flashes her a wry smile.  “And to whims like saving a tortured innocent stuck in a First Order cell.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“It's also why the purest among the Light are drawn to show compassion for those in Darkness.  Find any prison or slum, Rey, and you will find agents of the Light ministering there.  Social workers, teachers, the religious, the do gooders among us.  They are compelled to try to help, to forgive humanity's worst examples, to save souls and soothe hurts.  It's a fool's errand, for the sins of the world persist.  But hope springs eternal for those in the Light.”  

 

Kylo learns forward in his chair now, holding her attention.   “You, Rey, are the Light.  And that's how you appear in the Force to me.  Gleaming and pure.  Radiant and strong.   Your power is blinding in my mind's eye.” 

 

“And you like the Light?  You like my Light?”

 

“Yes,” he admits plainly.  “I am Dark, Rey.  But still, I can admire the Light and appreciate it.” 

 

“What does it mean to be Dark?”  He can see Rey struggling to understand these abstract concepts.

 

“Darkness is the triumph of emotion, Rey.  The Dark Side embraces the full range of experience and desires.  From love to hate, from anger to sorrow, from pride to shame, from power to helplessness.” 

 

It’s best understood as a comparison, he thinks.  So, he explains: “Historically, the Jedi served the Light and the Sith wielded Darkness.  The two traditions were a counterpoint to one another.    The Jedi commune with the Light Side of the Force through calm patience and understanding.  The Sith do not cultivate calm, instead we encourage passion.  We draw our power from our feelings.  Our goals are different too.  The Jedi prize self-sacrifice and community.  They put the needs others before their own.   We Sith prize power and ambition.  We extol the virtues of the individual.  And, of course, our means are not the same.  Occasionally, the Light is righteous.  But usually, it is peaceful and defensive.  The Sith are aggressive.  We can be obsessive and relentless.” He cocks his head at her, realizing that this speech is a lot to take in.  “Is any of this making sense, Rey?”

 

“Sort of,” she hedges.  “How am I to know the Light from the Dark?”

 

“You will know.  Trust me, you will know.”  She looks skeptical now.   Kylo rushes to be clear that there is no forbidden knowledge in his version of the Light.  “Rey, I will never limit how you use the Force.  You may experiment as you wish.  There are no rules for you.  Luke Skywalker and his precious Jedi have lots of rules for the Light.   They are unnecessary burdens.  I won’t ask you to be a nun.”

 

“A nun?”  Rey looks flabbergasted.  Like that is not at all what she thought she had agreed to.  “What rules are you talking about.”

 

“Stupid rules leftover from the Old Republic Jedi Order.  Members of their cult were taught to avoid emotion.  To bury their feelings deep and sublimate the personal for the universal.  It's a prison, Rey, and a recipe for unhappiness.  The Jedi tradition was extreme.  They went so far as to forbid all attachments.” 

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means that Luke Skywalker would make you a lonely nun, Rey.  Jedi are not supposed to love.  They can’t love their family, love a partner, or love a child.  It is a life of sacrifice for the good of others.  All of their teachings reinforce this.   They even call the Force the 'Force of Others’ because they only want to use their power to achieve happiness for others.  Never for themselves.”

 

“I don’t want to be a nun,” Rey grumbles and it makes him smile.  “And if I find my family, I intend to love them, Ben.”

 

“Then stay away from Luke Skywalker,” Kylo tells her pointedly.   “There is no need to limit your life experiences like the Jedi teach.   Study the Light with me, Rey.  Only with me.”

 

“And what about the Sith?” she asks.  “Do they forbid--what was that word?”

 

“Attachments.   No.  The Sith permit attachments.”  He grins as he tells her, “We are a possessive, obsessive and emotional bunch.  Our tradition has long had allegiances to lovers, wives and families.   I think my old Master Darth Plagueis has had something like five wives already.”

 

“And is it true that the Jedi and the Sith are ancient foes?” Rey wants to know.  “That’s how it is in the fairytales.”

 

“Yes.  Our views and our goals are generally in opposition, even if Dark and Light must forever coexist.”

 

Kylo watches now as understanding dawns on Rey's face.  It’s a eureka moment as she puts it all together.  "This is why the First Order lets you carry me off and supplies your castle--because you are a Sith who will can help them find the Jedi Luke Skywalker!" she accuses.

 

“Yes,” he agrees to that half-truth.  “The First Order wants my help.” 

 

“Is that what you do when you are away--search for Luke Skywalker?”

 

“Sometimes.  Mostly, it's more routine work.  But yes, I have searched for Skywalker.  It’s how I came to know you, Rey.  Because I was helping the First Order find the map.” 

 

Rey looks down now and mutters, “I knew there had to be a reason the First Order would do you favors.”  When she looks up, she demands, “Why are you teaching me the Light if you want to kill a Jedi?”

 

He tells her the truth.  “I can kill a Jedi, but I can't kill the Light.  Light and Dark are eternal.  Each will exist in some form forever.  The balance between them shifts with the times and cycles over and over.  But there is always some form of rough balance to the Force.  When you learn the Light, Rey you will be an important part of that balance.” 

 

There is a long silence as a subdued Rey absorbs what he has told her.  And he has told her a lot.  In time, she will see for herself the meaning of his words.  But today was a start.  He moves on to a less metaphysical topic.  "Tell me more about what you have discovered about the Force, Rey."

 

This question draws her out once more. "I can feel when Vanee is in the room.   Sometimes I think I can sense when he's near."

 

"Good,” Kylo approves.  “Everyone has their own unique imprint in the Force.  The closer you are to a person--either in emotion or proximity--the easier it is to recognize them in the Force."

 

"Then how come I don't ever feel you in the Force?" she asks, puzzled. 

 

Ah, she has noticed this.  "The Sith cloak their Force imprint,” he explains.   “For defense and for stealth. It is a longstanding tradition from the Old Republic era when the Sith were surrounded by hostile Jedi.  Hiding in the Force is the first lesson of being a Sith."

 

“Are you hiding from Luke Skywalker?” she asks.  As usual, Rey is sharp.

 

“Yes.  I prefer to have the element of surprise when we meet again at last.”

 

Rey nods at this.  Then she challenges him:  "So show me your real self, Ben Solo."

 

He grins and gestures expansively "What you see is what you get, Rey."

 

"I find that hard to believe," she observes with more accuracy than she knows.  "Come on, show me.  I want to see how differently you feel to my mind than Vanee."

 

"I'm a Force-user so I will look different than Vanee.   Force-users usually have a larger, stronger imprint. More vibrant in your mind.  And I am Sith, so I will look Darker."

 

"What does Darker mean?  Show me."

 

"Careful," he teases with a smile.  "Some find the Dark Side to be seductive."

 

"Really?” she blinks.  Then she looks devilish.  “Well, now you have to show me."

 

And how can he resist?  He's curious to see how she responds.   "Very well then, feel my power."   Now Kylo uncloaks his power and lets his Darkness blaze.   Rey closes her eyes to concentrate and then she gasps aloud.  Yes, it’s an ego rush to see how his power impresses this girl.  Ordinary women cannot appreciate his Darkness, but Force-sensitive Rey can.  He sees her fingers spread wide as she presses her hands to the tabletop to steady herself.  Her eyes are still closed and now her head is thrown back and her lips part slightly as she inhales a sharp breath.   But he grins to see the effect he has on her.  Clearly, she is awed.  Rey is fully clothed and seated across the table from him, but in the moment she’s quite possibly the most erotic thing he has ever seen.  She’s not hot for him, she’s hot for his power and that’s something a Sith can appreciate.    He dampens his power now and the moment is gone.  Rey blinks her eyes open.  She looks bewildered and then scared. 

 

“D-Don't do that again!" she warns him.  And he thinks he knows why.  

 

Kylo smirks at her now.  He’s enjoying her discomfort.  "Light and Dark coexist, Rey.  Sometimes they repel.  Sometimes they attract."

 

"Don't do that!" she repeats with frosty insistence.   And perhaps this girl would make a good Jedi nun after all, he thinks.

 

Now Kylo can’t help himself.  He just piles on more provocation.  "I better not let you anywhere near my Master, Rey.   Because if you felt his full power, you would probably melt in a puddle to the floor."   He flashes her a crooked grin.  "I'd be jealous, Rey.   We Sith are the jealous type.  And then he might take you for himself," Kylo adds with a sudden frown.

 

Rey is recovered now and her self-assurance—and indignance—is back.  "No one gets to take me, remember?  I'm a free woman."

 

"Oh, Darth Plagueis wouldn't steal you by force.  He would lure you, Rey.  That's more his style."  The old Muun wouldn’t need to resort to violence. 

 

Rey raises her eyebrows at this. "Lure me?  Huh,” she sits back to consider this.   Then leans forward to ask, “What’s he look like?"

 

"What?"  Really??  She’s teasing him.  She must be teasing him.

 

Now Rey looks wicked.  And a little like a boy crazy teenaged girl.  "So . . . is this powerful Darth Plagueis guy hot?"

 

Hot?  Only if you are into three-hundred-year-old Muuns.  "Gods, no!"  Kylo squirms in his seat.  How had they gotten on this topic?

 

"Oh, so he's no Ben Solo, then?"

 

What?  "You think I'm hot?"  The words fly out of his mouth before he can stop them.  “Forget I said that,” he amends stiffly.

 

Rey grins good-naturedly. 

 

Yes.  He’ll take that as a yes.  So, she’s impressed by Darth Vader and she thinks he’s hot.  He’s going to like Rey.  He may even grow to really like Rey.  Kylo files that thought away for future consideration.  And then he returns to teaching.  This is supposed to be about teaching, he reminds himself.  “Let’s talk about meditation,” he begins.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey's ears perk up to the sound of ion engines.  "Is that Ben?" she asks Vanee.  She doesn’t know when Ben will come and go.  And from what she can glean, Vanee only knows some of the time. 

 

The old man shakes his head no.  "It's delivery day, Rey.  That’s the First Order with supplies."

 

"Oh."  She’s disappointed.  And wary too.

 

Vanee sees this.  "There is nothing to fear.  But stay inside.  It would be best not to attract unnecessary attention."

 

So Rey watches from a second floor window as a military transport lands.  Uniformed men disembark and Rey is relieved to see that they are not stormtroopers.  These men don't even look to be armed.  They push several levitating crates into the castle.  Then the men return to the ship and it departs. 

 

Rey breathes a sigh of relief.

 

Then she rushes downstairs to Vanee who is supervising the ancient household droids who unload the crates.  "So . . . what did we get?" she asks with interest.  “Anything good?”

 

The old servant is checking off an electronic packing list. "It's mostly fresh food and household items for you.  But your clothes are finally here."

 

Rey perks up at this.  "Where?"

 

Vanee gestures to an open crate and Rey practically dives right in.  Inside is one fancy grey beribboned box after another containing her new clothes carefully wrapped in pink tissue paper.  "Oh!" she says softly, overwhelmed by just the elegant wrapping of it all.  Luxury is not something Rey has ever seen before.  She pauses, suddenly intimidated.  

 

Vanee looks over her shoulder.  "Well, let's see.  What do we have here?"

 

"Uh . . ." Rey hesitates.  "I didn't know it would be so fancy," she mutters. 

 

Old Vanee sees her discomfort.  So, he reaches for a box and begins to open it.  Untying the bow and tearing through the extravagant paper with clear relish.   "I feel like it's my birthday," he laughs as he turns back to Rey.  "Unwrapping is half the fun of a present," he says gleefully with a twinkle in his lined eyes. 

 

His good humor is infectious.  And Rey joins in.  But she's still a little uncomfortable.  "Is that what this is?   A present?  I've never actually received a present."

 

"Then you have lots of unwrapping to catch up on," Vanee decides.  And together they unwrap all fifteen boxes.   One by one, Rey pulls out her new wardrobe.  It's mostly simple day dresses and long, casual tunics to go over leggings.   But there is also a blue nightgown and matching robe that didn't look anywhere near as gossamer sheer and voluminous on the holonet as it does in person.  Rey also opens two pairs of boots and some dainty slippers.  A slightly embarrassed Vanee is the one to open the box of lingerie.  He stops abruptly, telling her that she should be the one to inventory the unmentionables.  Rey just giggles.

 

She starts holding up the clothes against her when Vanee instead orders her to her room.   He demands a full fashion show.   I'm an old man, he tells her, and it's been a long time since I have seen a pretty girl in a pretty dress.  Indulge me, Vanee insists.  Happily, Rey obliges.  She even throws in a twirl or two.

 

Everything fits.  Everything is perfect.  It's amazing.  It's just not her.  Rey looks down, self-conscious now as she tucks some of her wild chestnut hair behind one ear. 

 

"What's wrong, Rey?" Vanee asks gently. 

 

"I don't look like the models on the holonet," she sighs, blushing at her foolishness.  Appearance has never been a concern for her before, so she's not sure why it seems to matter now.  But it does.  Maybe it's because every girl wants to feel pretty now and then.  Maybe it's because Rey wants to feel at home in the castle’s luxurious surroundings.  And maybe it's because now that her days are not solely devoted to subsistence, Rey wants to indulge in some frivolousness.  And so, she had looked forward to these new clothes.  But when she looks in the mirror, Rey sees pretty clothes on plain old Rey of Jakku.   Looking like she's playing dress up.   It’s not quite the Cinderella style transformation Rey had imagined.

 

"Well, for one, those women are all as tall as the master, Rey,” Vanee points out.  “And that's not typical.  I think you look lovely.  I'm sure the master will agree."   Rey brightens somewhat at this praise. "Now go look in the last crate," Vanee urges.  "There is something else there for you."

 

Curious, Rey investigates.  "It's a droid," she discovers.  Then she hauls it out for a better look.  "Oooh!" She grins. "It's a grooming droid!   Like the fancy ladies have!" 

 

Vanee chuckles.  "I thought that a lady resident in Lord Vader's castle should look the part when she so desires.  Be as fancy as you wish, Rey.  This place could use some beauty."

 

And that's all the encouragement Rey needs.    She starts playing with the droid that very day, having it copy hairstyles and makeup looks from holonet actresses.  She even has the droid paint her nails.  The scavenger Rey of Jakku worked with her hands and usually had a mix of sand and engine oil under her fingernails.  But the lady of leisure Rey of Mustafar Castle has elegant pink fingertips and toes.  And soon she has tweezed eyebrows, waxed legs, a perfumed neck and moisturized skin.  Yeah, it's girly overkill.  But Rey is having fun.  And, yes, she feels pretty.  On a whim, she even decides to copy Lady Vader’s hair and makeup from her portrait since Darth Vader’s wife is the closest thing the castle has to a mistress.

 

Does pretty make her a better person?  No.  And it doesn't make her smarter, more capable or educated.  It will never erase the deprivation and hardship of Jakku.  But it does lift Rey’s mood.  Youth and beauty are not accomplishments, she knows.  But they are an ego boost.  She may be nothing compared to the gorgeous Lady Vader in the painting, Rey thinks to herself, but she's not half bad to look at now.  This unwanted orphan has received more than her fair share of scorn over the years.  But if Unkar Plutt and his gang could see her now, she's sure he would be impressed.

 

Other than primping with the droid, there's not much else for Rey to do when she's not practicing the Force and meditating.   But the next day, one of the household droids breaks and Rey finds a new vocation in maintaining and updating the castle's decades old fleet of droids.   Vanee welcomes the help once he sees her skills.  It turns out that tools are plentiful because Lord Vader himself liked to tinker.  And suddenly, Rey feels more than just decorative.  She's useful too.  And that's a great combination.  She's a week into life at Vader's castle and so far, so good. 

 

About the only thing that Rey has trouble adjusting to at the castle are the dreams.  Ben had been right when he warned that her dreams in the Force would keep coming.  They wake her from sleep some nights and Rey finds herself wandering the castle staring outside at the lava as she tries to make sense of it all.  Ben had told her she had seen the past in the Force.  But it’s someone else’s past and so it is an unfolding mystery to Rey.  And the meaning of the conflicts she sees are lost on her.   Tonight, with her hair still in the Lady Vader curls she copied earlier, they seem especially unsettling.  It’s very late and yet again Rey wanders the castle as her mind wanders the Force. 

 

_This planet is scary hot with boiling lava and maybe she was wrong to come here.  But she needs to see him and to find out the truth for herself.  Obi-Wan has told her terrible things . . ._

 

_What are you doing here?  The man starts out annoyed with her and then quickly progresses to angry. Now is not the time for this discussion.  But they have it anyway.  She wants to run away, but he's tired of living a lie.  He is who he is, and he is not ashamed of it.  He will not apologize for it.  This slave boy turned Jedi hero turned Sith is a man who is going to get everything he wants or die trying.  You will understand in the end, he tells her.  Once things settle down and he can make things the way he wants them to be, she will understand.  But most importantly, she will be alive.   His new powers will save her._

_But the new powers are the problem.  I don't know you anymore!  The man she loves would never have turned on his friends and killed younglings.  She keeps arguing with him and he doesn't have time for this now.  They turned against him and now she is turning against him too.  She tells him she loves him but he thinks it's a lie.  Because she has unwittingly brought a Jedi here to kill him.  It’s not what it looks like, but he doesn’t believe that.  And her beloved husband is livid now.  And violent.  He has become a very great threat._

* * *

 

It's been a bad day.  Kylo can't wait for it to be over. 

 

He shrugs out of his surcoat as his shuttle lands at the castle.  His uniform is still damp from the driving rain that had marred today's raid.  Normally, Kylo likes the element of surprise under cover of night.  But not in a driving rainstorm.  Just when his cut and run strategy had been almost flawlessly executed, things started going wrong.  First, he had lost his newest, most junior knight to a blaster bolt to the head.  Then things got worse and Nestor Ren had slipped in the mud and taken two close range shots to the leg.  Kylo had thrown beefy Nestor over his shoulder with the help of the Force and made for the shuttle.  They had gotten a tourniquet on him fast but still Kylo’s trusted second in command will likely lose his left leg.  Nestor had been a trooper through it all, even joking some through the pain.  But it’s a serious wound and with now another knight lost, the Ren are down to five men again.  To top it all off, the raid had yielded no real useful intelligence despite all the Bothans they had slaughtered.  And so, all in all, this day feels like a defeat.

 

Coming on the heels of the bungled Jakku raid, this is two frustrating missions in a row.  Kylo sighs heavily.   He’s tired, wet and annoyed.  And so he has decided to come home to Rey.  Just the feel of her Force imprint soothes his mind as he tromps down the shuttle ramp. 

 

There’s no one to meet him, of course.  It's the middle of the night on Mustafar and no doubt Vanee and Rey are fast asleep.  So Kylo sheds his damp and blood-soaked undertunic as he trudges unannounced and weary into his castle.  By the time he’s inside, Kylo is stripped naked to the waist in muddy boots as he makes for his room and a hot shower. He's almost there when he feels a sudden jolt of the Force.  It's like a thunderclap in his mind.   It freezes him in his tracks.  And then it beckons him forward to investigate. 

 

Intrigued, he follows its call and then he sees her.  It’s a woman standing with her back to him in the main living area of his castle.  She wears a diaphanous blue nightgown that flows down and out from her figure.  Her chestnut brown spiral curls spill over her shoulders and down her back.  Instantly, Kylo is reminded of the portrait of his grandmother.   Yes, this is a vision in the Force of Padme Skywalker, he thinks, as he looks on in rapt fascination.  Tentatively, he approaches the figure.  He sees that she has her hands covering her face and her shoulders shake with emotion.  She is upset. 

 

But oh, how beautiful she is and he can't even see her face.  He just sees her dramatic pose and romantic tresses.  He walks close enough that he can even smell her faint perfume.   Then, she drops her hands and turns to him and his breathe catches.

 

This is not a vision of his grandmother, this is Rey.  Looking exquisitely feminine and soft and completely unlike her scavenger herself.   This sight arrests him.  He has not expected this.

 

"Anakin," Rey turns to Kylo and pleads.  "You're a good person. Don't do this."  And now, Kylo realizes that he is not the one having a vision of his doomed grandmother, it is Rey.   She's lost in the Force and reliving the past, like before when she had witnessed his grandfather’s defeat and torment.  Only this time, she thinks Kylo is his grandfather.

 

Kylo stands transfixed as Rey rushes up to him, her arms raising to brace against his bare chest.  

 

"Rey?" he says softly.

 

But she cannot hear him.  Her mind and her senses are in the Force.  "Anakin, all I want is your love," Rey cries.  She sounds desperate and scared.  "Come away with me.  Help me raise our children far away.  Leave everything else behind while we still can!"  Blazing Light shines out from Rey in the Force now.  Here is acceptance, reconciliation and forgiveness offered to him.  A second chance to start again.  “Stop!  Stop now and come back.  I love you!” 

 

Kylo watches with eyes wide, wondering at what he is seeing.  Trying to make sense of what it means.  For here standing before him and being offered to Darth Vader is the path back to the Light.  It’s a decision that Kylo himself has fantasized about now and then in moments of self-doubt.  For the call to the Light is his forever weakness. 

 

Does Rey see this about him somehow?  Kylo wonders as she nods up at him.  Her eyes not seeing him, but seeing a time long before he was born.  She steps closer to whisper, "I truly, deeply, love you."   Then Rey reaches up to pull him down for a searing, passionate kiss.  Kylo is taken by surprise for a moment.   And then he commits himself completely to the moment. Reveling in this sudden unexpected and stolen passion that belongs not to he and Rey but to his grandparents.  Kylo drops the bloody tunic he's holding to the floor and buries his hands in her hair.  Plundering Rey’s mouth and claiming it for his own.  Finally, she pulls back to lay her head against his chest. "There's good in you.  I know there is," she whispers.   

 

And for a moment, Kylo wonders if this is Padme Skywalker talking about Darth Vader or Rey talking about himself.  For the words are disconcerting.  Kylo stands there relishing the feel of Rey against his bare chest as his befuddled mind grasps at the meaning of all this.   The ways of the Force can be mysterious. 

 

Then to his horror, Rey starts choking.  Her hands are at her throat as she gasps out “Anakin, no!”  Kylo stares, stunned by what is being revealed to him as Rey crumples to the floor.  That spurs him out of his shock and Kylo follows her down, shaking her and calling her name to call her back from the Force.  "Rey!  Rey!"   Her face has gone white and her eyes are bulging as if she is truly being choked.  “Rey!  Rey!”  She blinks fast and then wakes from her trance.

 

“B-Ben?” she stammers.

 

“Are you alright?” he demands.  She looks to be alright. 

 

“Yeah,” Rey exhales.  “I think so.  But you are hurt.”

 

What?  Rey reaches a tentative hand up to his left shoulder and neck and Kylo’s eyes follow her movement.  She’s looking at the smeared, dried blood from Nestor Ren.  “I’m fine, Rey,” he tells her as they both climb to their feet.  “That’s not my blood.”

 

“Oh.  Good.”  Rey looks relieved.

 

“What did you see in the Force,” he needs to know. 

 

She looks up. “How did you know?”

 

“I felt the disturbance in the Force.  Tell me about your vision.  Tell me what you saw.”

 

“The tall man from before—“

 

“Darth Vader.”

 

“Yes, he argued with his wife.  Then he tried to kill her.”

 

“Kill her?”  What?  “No, Rey, that’s wrong.  The Jedi killed my grandmother.”

 

“He choked her with the Force.”  Rey shakes her head.  “He was so angry, Ben.  So angry.” 

 

“That’s not what happened—“

 

“That’s it, Ben—the portrait he kept of her—the one in your bedroom.  It’s just like the windows to the lava.  It was here to remind him of his pain.  His wife was a different sort of pain, but she too was pain.”

 

“That’s not what happened,” Kylo corrects her again sharply.  He knows the truth—his Master had told him long ago the truth of his grandparents doomed love.  “He loved her!  My grandparents defied the Jedi Order and the Naboo royal house to marry in secret.  They were together for years before she died.  That portrait is there because he missed her.”

 

Rey looks away, still a bit dazed from her vision.  “Maybe he did love her, Ben.  But he tried to kill her all the same.”

 

“Force visions can be confusing and unreliable,” Kylo informs her curtly.  As far as he’s concerned, this topic is closed.

 

And she quietly agrees.  “I don’t think he killed her, Ben.  But I know he hurt her.”  Rey looks down and blushes, as if suddenly realizing that she’s in her night clothes.  Her very sheer night clothes, Kylo notices.   Then she looks up at his bare chest and her face flames red even in the dim light.  “It was long ago,” she mutters.  “It doesn’t really matter.”

 

Yes, it does matter, he thinks.  Darth Vader matters a lot.  But Rey looks so traumatized by what she has seen that he doesn’t pursue it further.    Plus, the details of his grandmother’s demise are murky—even Snoke will admit to that.  Much of his family’s tragic past is a mystery to this day.  His parents and his uncle would rarely speak of it, and then only in lies. 

 

Looking down now at the girl who moments ago had been channeling his grandmother in the Force, Kylo marvels again at what he had found in that random prison cell.  This remarkable girl sees the past, not the future.  To what end, Kylo doesn't know.  But moments ago she had been kissing him breathless, soft and yielding in his arms as she called him Darth Vader.  It hadn't been real but it had felt good all the same.  And seeing her now so pretty in her enticing nightgown, he is sorely tempted to flash his Dark power at Rey’s mind and carry her off to his bed.  And then he can bury his mind in her Light and bury his body in her flesh and lose himself to pleasure.   And maybe she will call him Darth Vader again.  Oh, Gods, that sounds so tempting.   And he’s a Sith so he can take whatever he wants.

 

Kylo stares at her now and forces himself to resist.   He's supposed to be teaching this girl, not seducing her.    But it’s hard because her Light beckons to him.  And after a bloody, demoralizing day, he could use the comfort of the Light.

 

"Ben?" she peers up at him, uncertain.

 

"Go to bed, Rey," he rasps.  "Go to bed.  Now."


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Kylo is up early and multitasking his way through breakfast.  He's got the newsfeed from Coruscant playing on the large wall screen as he begins the task of responding to the morning flood of messages on his datapads.  All three of them.  Nestor Ren's message is the first one he opens.  It reports what the medics have already informed Kylo:  his best knight has lost most of his left leg and now has a mechanical prosthetic.   Kylo starts to respond.

 

_It's official, I'm a peg leg.  On the DL for at least a month.  Sorry boss._

_You're in good company--Vader had two peg legs._

_Vader was an overachiever. I'm not aiming for two.  One hurts enough._

_Don't be a wuss.   You’re not exactly General Grievous.  And you're welcome._

_Fuck you.  And thanks for saving me.  That’s two I owe you._

_Three._

 

Then, it's on to intelligence reports and a laundry list of decisions that require his approval.  Kylo is on his second cup of caf and his second datapad when Rey wanders in.  Kylo glances up and does a double take.

 

Rey's tight curls are tied back loosely to the side.  She's wearing a fluid looking pale blue dress that covers the top half her grey boots.  The dress is simple with a wide, high neckline and three quarter sleeves.  It is plain but in a luxurious fabric.  And is that makeup Rey is wearing?  Rey looks like the pampered daughter of a business magnate home from university.  Kylo exchanges an approving look with Vanee across the table.  He's going to enjoy spoiling his scavenger girl.  She looks nothing like her true self and that appeals to him.  For Kylo too is not all that he appears.  Not to Rey and not the galaxy.

 

"Good morning," Vanee says in his pleasant, formal tone.

 

“Rey.”  Kylo nods hello.

 

She grumbles something about not being a morning person and pours herself some caf    She takes it black, Kylo sees, and that's fitting.  His Rey isn't much for amenities.  Watching her, Kylo wonders for a moment whether Rey remembers their kiss last night.  It doesn't look like it.  And that's probably for the best so that there is no awkwardness between them.    He intends to teach this girl, and not to take her to bed.

 

After Rey takes a few fortifying sips of caf, she looks up to ask him with concern, "How is your friend?  The one who is hurt?"

 

Vanee shoots him a covert questioning look and Kylo responds. "Nestor."  Then Kylo turns back to inform Rey, "He lost his leg." 

 

She makes a face.  "Oh, I'm sorry."

 

She truly is sorry.  So compassionate is this girl.  "You are kindhearted, Rey. I like that,” he approves without a trace of irony.   Then he shrugs with the nonchalance of a fighting man used to injury and death.  “It's no surprise about the leg.  We all knew it was bad.  At least he’s alive.  I depend on him a lot.  You could say he’s my second in command."

 

Rey still looks troubled.  "How did he get hurt?"

 

It's an innocent enough question.  Kylo tells the truth.  "Two blaster shots to the leg."

 

She frowns at this.  "Do your business deals always end in violence?"

 

"Things did not go as planned."  His tone is curt.  Kylo is still smarting over yesterday’s losses and he has no wish to discuss it. 

 

Rey takes the hint.  She glances over at the wall screen with the looping Coruscant newsfeed.  Now it’s playing a clip of General Hux making a speech.  He’s his usual overly emotive self.  Rey eyes the general with distaste. "I don't like that guy," she announces. 

 

Vanee blinks. 

 

Kylo smirks. "No one does.  He’s is a loudmouth ass."

 

"I hate the First Order," Rey scowls and shoots the newsfeed a dirty look.  “Especially that screaming Leader guy.”

 

Vanee catches his eye but Kylo just shrugs. "That screaming guy isn’t the Supreme Leader, Rey.  He’s just General Hux.  He’s their fascist front man.”  Kylo sits back, crosses his arms and gives Rey a measuring look.  “I’m not surprised that you don’t like the First Order.  That's understandable given your experience.  Are you ready to go sign up for the Resistance now?"  Kylo raises one eyebrow.

 

"No,” Rey shakes her head and takes another drink of caf.  “I'm not much into politics.  And I don’t want to get sliced in half by the sword of Kylo Ren."

 

Vanee speaks up now and deftly changes the topic.  "The droid is charged, Rey.  I checked it this morning.  Today, we will see if your hard work is rewarded."

 

"Droid?" Kylo asks.

 

Vanee explains.  "Rey has taken on the task of rehabbing some of the old household droids.  Many were long overdue for some maintenance.  Rey has even managed to reassemble one of the older models she found."

 

"I like fixing things," Rey explains. 

 

Yes, he knows.  And no doubt she is a bit bored.  Kylo is all for droid fixing and whatever other innocuous tasks Rey wants to do around his castle in between learning the Force.  "It will be good to have someone who's mechanical around here,” he tells Rey.  “Vanee has many talents, but fixing things isn't one of them."  The old man nods his agreement at this assessment. 

 

Rey smiles happily.  She looks over to Vanee.  "So, it's fully charged now?"  The servant nods yes and Rey leaps up and excuses herself to go investigate.   

 

While Rey tinkers with droids, Kylo spends his morning occupied on com calls in his office.  It's one strategy session after another to update him on the First Order's plans to continue its march across the galaxy.  Kylo doesn't see Rey again until midafternoon when he wanders into the kitchen for some water and finds her disassembling an ancient mouse droid on the table. 

 

"It's got a bad motivator," Rey informs him when she looks up.  "And it's so old that it might not be worth replacing.  Imperial-era parts can be hard to find."

 

"I wonder what Vader did with a mouse droid," Kylo muses aloud as he watches her work a moment.  "I hate those damned things.”  Actually, he’s kicked more than a few of them that have crossed his path on the _Finalizer_.  “I wouldn’t have taken Vader for a droid guy."

 

"Vanee says that Darth Vader was very mechanical,” Rey muses.  “Supposedly, there's an old pod racer he tinkered with stored away somewhere here."

 

"Yeah, I knew he liked the racers," Kylo tells her.  "He was famous for always testing out new TIE prototypes himself.  Even his foes would admit that Vader was the best starpilot in the galaxy."

 

Rey smiles over at Kylo as she attacks the droid with pliers.  "Then, I'll bet he would have loved your shuttle, Ben."

 

That comment gives Kylo an idea.  He has an hour before his next com call.  Hux has scheduled another long update on Snoke’s pet Starkiller project.  It’s approaching completion and the general is far too personally proud of that technological terror, as far as Kylo is concerned.  Privately, the project is Death Star 3 in Kylo’s mind.  He gives it one, maybe two, uses before the Resistance finds it and blows it up.  Their general Leia Organa is good at blowing up Death Stars, as everyone knows. 

 

Kylo leans over Rey's shoulder to whisper suggestively in her ear. "Want to take a ride in my shuttle?"

 

Rey drops her pliers and whirls.  "Really?"   

 

Kylo grins and nods.  "Really."

 

She abruptly stands up.  "Well, yeah!"

 

Five minutes later, his command shuttle is powering up and Rey is next to him in the copilot's seat, running her hands over the dashboard like another woman might appreciatively finger the fabric of a fancy dress.

 

"I've only flown simulations," she confesses sheepishly to him.  "But I've flown a lot of simulations.  There wasn’t much to do at night on Jakku."

 

No, he bets not.  How lonely and wasted her life was on that Hellhole planet, Kylo thinks.  "Now is your chance, Rey," he tells her.  And once they are aloft, he turns over the controls to her.  She expertly puts the ship through its paces.  Testing its maneuverability, acceleration and braking.   He sees that Rey does indeed know her way around a spacecraft. 

 

"We don't have time to do the Kessel Run today,” Kylo tells her and he’s half serious.  “But let's take her into lightspeed someplace close by.  I want you to feel the full point-nine."  He makes a few quick calculations.  And then the ship shudders briefly as it enters hyperspace.  Now the shuttle’s windshield looks out on the undulating blue swirls he knows so well.  But this is all new for the girl from Jakku. 

 

"Oh, I love it," Rey says softly as she stands to take it all in.  Kylo watches as the blue light reflects on her face.  She looks somewhat solemn in the moment.  "It's so beautiful.  And it's nothing like the simulations."  Hyperspace is a commonplace thing for Kylo Ren.  But it is brand new to Rey.  Seeing her reaction now makes Kylo want to show her other things just to relive this charming moment.   Rey is so unaffected.  And that’s a breath of fresh air for Kylo who spends his days among the competitive, posturing and preening senior officers of the First Order. 

 

This girl has seen the worst of life but has managed to keep herself largely unstained by it.  And that makes Kylo wonder if Rey might be able to endure him and remain unsullied too.  For as his world grows ever Darker, he craves the Light more.  To be close to it, to experience it and, yes, to win it's approval.  Watching Rey so girlishly lovely and sincere, Kylo wonders for a moment what it would be like to be more than her teacher.   He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t fantasized about it once or twice already after last night’s kiss.

 

But they have a lie between them.  A big lie.  It is only temporary, Kylo thinks.  Once he trusts her, he will tell her the truth.  And it will be the whole truth of Ben Solo, warts and awkward relatives and all.  And then he will explain about Kylo Ren.  Someday—hopefully soon—Rey will know the truth. 

 

It's a short hyperspace jump and the reversion comes fast.  Kylo forgets to warn newbie Rey that reversion at full speed can be a bit of a jolt.  She doesn't know to brace herself for the sudden deceleration.  She stumbles, loses her footing and starts to fall before Kylo reaches for her.  He has fast Force-attuned reflexes and Rey quite gracefully ends up in his lap.

 

"Oh!"   She yelps as he catches her and breaks her tumble, preventing her from crashing into the port side instrument panel.  Rey laughs out loud now.  "Whoops!  I'm sorry!"

 

He's not.  As she twists in his lap, it suddenly titillates him and the memory of last night’s secret kiss rushes up to him again. 

 

“I’m clumsy,” she whispers.

 

And he disagrees.  “No, you’re not.  You’re lovely.”

 

Rey blushes red and looks down.  “I forgot to thank you for the clothes.  Vanee had me buy a lot of clothes—“

 

“I like the clothes.  I like your hair too.”

 

She reaches up self-consciously now to smooth her wild curls.  “Yeah?” she asks tentatively and it’s clear to Kylo that Rey has no idea how beautiful she is.  He doubts she ever looked in a mirror back on Jakku.  And, well, she had other priorities then.  She makes to stand, but gently he prevents her.

 

“Now you look as beautiful as your Light, Rey.  Inside and out, you are beautiful,” he whispers.  And then without thinking he kisses her.  It’s a soft, chaste kiss full on the lips.  It lasts just a moment before he releases her.  Rey jumps up and sinks back into the co-pilot’s seat. 

 

She says nothing.  He says nothing.  He can’t decide which of them is more surprised by what just happened.

 

So Kylo busies himself reversing the jump calculations on the navicomputer.  “Put your seatbelt on this time,” he says a little too gruffly like he’s complaining.    “We’re headed home.”  Then they are back in hyperspace and back on Mustafar in ten minutes.

 

As together they walk back into the castle, Rey turns to him.  “What happens to me if you get killed while you're away on one of your dangerous business deals?”  Kylo starts to respond, but she raises a hand to forestall him.   “Mustafar is a First Order world and I know that you don't keep a ship here while you’re gone.  So the First Order would have to come for us to get off world.  And

then they would find me, Ben.”  Rey’s voice sounds a bit shrill with fear now.  “Then I would be back in a cell . . . or worse.”

 

“There's no need to worry,” he tells her.   But she's really worried about this, he sees.  “Rey, if something happens to me then Vanee will contact my Master.  It will all be fine.  And I'm not planning to die anytime soon.”    And since Kylo is farther than ever from finding Luke Skywalker, his risk of death isn't particularly high right now. 

 

She doesn’t look very convinced. 

 

“I promise to keep you safe, Rey.  The First Order can't hurt you.”

 

“Not as long as you’re alive and they still want your help,” she qualifies.

 

“I will keep you safe,” he reiterates.  And she just looks away, unconvinced.

 

Three hours later, Kylo has heard all there is to know about Starkiller Base.  Hux keeps brushing off his questions about the thermal oscillator.  That’s the obvious weak spot to the weapon, Kylo argues.  And then Hux goes off again on his diatribe about shielding and defensive measures and stop calling this Death Star 3, Ren, ad nauseum.  General Hux doesn’t know it, but Kylo Ren grew up with stories of Death Star trench runs and Endor commando raids.  He’s Han Solo’s son and he knows that shielding is only a mild deterrent to leftwing fanatics with bombs.  For no matter how expert your engineering, there is always some version of a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port that is a weak spot.   History has proved this twice already.   Kylo won’t be surprised if it proves it a third time.   He’s on the record today pointing that out several times. 

 

But Starkiller Base is Hux’s command and the general makes the final decisions there.  And if he thinks Kylo’s critique is motivated by a desire to make him look inept rather than to protect the First Order, then that’s Hux’s mistake.   I’d hate to be you, Kylo had told his would-be rival smugly, if you ever have to tell the Leader that Starkiller Base is no more.  Hux had ended the com call abruptly after that remark.

 

So Kylo goes in search of Rey and in search of dinner. 

 

He finds her laughing with Vanee in the kitchen.  She must have moved on from the mouse droid because now she's at work on an equally ancient looking Imperial protocol droid.  It’s one of those old ‘six million forms of communications’ type droids like one his mother had.  As Rey tinkers with the control panel on the back, the droid keeps switching mid-sentence between Standard Basic and Shyriiwook.  Whenever the droid lapses into the grunts and howls of the wookiee language, Rey collapses into giggles.  Even dignified old Vanee has given up keeping a straight face.  And that alone makes Kylo smile. 

 

"How are you at cooking?" Rey calls out to him.

 

"Never done it," Kylo admits. "Why?"

 

"Because if I can't get this droid working soon, one of us is going to have to cook."

 

"I think we have some cereal somewhere," Vanee volunteers without enthusiasm.  But just then Rey succeeds and the droid reboots and pops to its feet.  It asks for instructions in Basic and dinner is saved.   Rey shouts in triumph and high fives Vader's ancient old manservant who his Master has kept alive in the Force for decades past his normal lifespan.  The sight of prim old Vanee making such a casual gesture makes Kylo grin.  In the few days Rey has been here, clearly she's turned his household upside down.  

 

He and Rey spend the next half an hour meditating in the Force.  Across the room from him, Rey is struggling to center herself and find the Light.  That's her inexperience showing, he thinks, and maybe the Darkness of Mustafar.  For this is a wonderful place for a Sith to connect with the Force.  His grandfather's castle is steeped in the shadow Force.   And the absence of the thousands of surrounding _Finalizer_ crew members crowding his head is freeing.  All he has here is peaceful old Vanee and Rey.  And, if anything, Rey helps him.  Her Light is a counterpoint to his Darkness.  She's not an adversary, her power is a complement.  And that's unexpected.  For this is a stasis, a balance, he could never find with Luke Skywalker. 

 

When dinner is prepared, Vanee excuses himself to eat in his room so it's just he and Rey.  Before he departs, Vanee hands Rey a bottle of wine and winks.  Something is afoot, Kylo sees. 

 

Rey takes a deep breath, sets the bottle before her and concentrates.  She's opening it with the Force, he realizes.  He grins and it distracts her.

 

"Stop," she tells him sternly without opening her eyes.   And now he's really grinning.  But he says nothing, waiting while his dinner grows cold until he hears the distinctive pop of the cork releasing.  Her face is triumphant. 

 

Kylo nods his approval.  "Well done.  Now pour us both a glass."

 

Rey keeps concentrating as she completes the task.  She’s a bit shaky and the wine sloshes over the rim of her glass one or twice, but all in all she does well.  Rey is grinning with pride as he tips his glass to her in a salute.  “Well done, Rey.  Well done.”

 

“I have never drank wine before,” she confesses with a mischievous look about her lips. 

 

“Does that mean you’re a teetotaler or that you go straight for the hard liquor,” Kylo drawls.

 

Rey laughs a little.  “Neither.  It means that I couldn’t afford it.”

 

Kylo doesn’t want to think about how bad the cheap wine on Jakku must taste.    It’s probably a good thing she never drank it.  “Well, drink all you want tonight, Rey.  But you have to pour it with the Force.”  She’s giving a thoughtful look now and it prompts him to ask, “What do you think of it?”

 

“It’s very sweet.  I didn’t think it would taste so sweet.  But I like it.  I think.”

 

“I was fifteen the first time I drank wine.  I stole a few bottles from my parents and snuck them back with me to the Jedi academy.  A couple of us got drunk that night for the first time.”  Kylo frowns at the random memory.   His younger self had tried too hard to fit in with his classmates.   In the end, his bad attitude had only gotten worse when he failed time and again to impress his peers.

 

“How did you go from being Jedi to being Sith?” Rey asks.

 

Kylo thinks a moment how best to explain this.  He settles on vague brevity.  “My Jedi Master was a lousy teacher.  And he lied to me about the Force and about my grandfather.  Over time, he lost all credibility with me.  Finally, I was through being his padawan.”

 

Rey is lost in this terminology.  “What's a padawan?” she asks.

 

“It's the traditional name for someone training to be a Jedi.  I was a very bad padawan learner, Rey.  I am a much more successful Sith apprentice.”

 

“Should I be concerned,” she teases as she gulps at her wine just like she gulps at her water.  “Do I need a better teacher than you, Ben?”

 

“You definitely deserve a better teacher,” Kylo concedes.  “I have never taught anyone before you.  But I like having you as my padawan, Rey.” 

 

“So, does that make you my master?”

 

Kylo thinks a moment.  “Yes, it does,” he decides.  Then he smirks.  “I might be the first Sith to ever have a padawan.” 

 

“Well, I think you're a far better choice than Luke Skywalker,” Rey tells him.  “I would never want a master who lied to me, Ben.”

 

And now Kylo wishes they had never gotten on this topic.  So he changes it.  “Pour me another glass, Rey.”  And she does.  But it’s a bit rough this time around.

 

“I think I must be tired,” she makes her excuse softly.

 

“I think you’re a little drunk, Rey,” he corrects with a grin.

 

“No one gets drunk on one glass of wine,” she scoffs.  Then asks, “Do they?”

 

“They do when they have no experience with drinking and they eat as little as you do, Rey.”

 

“Does this mean you’re cutting me off?” she complains with pursed lips.  “Because I’m starting to like it.”

 

Kylo snorts.  “I think you’re starting to get buzzed, Rey.  But if you can still pour it, then you can drink it.” 

 

And she does.  Newly refilled glass in hand, Rey looks at him for a long moment before telling him, “Thank you for saving me, Ben.  I don’t think I have ever told you that.  Thank you for saving me from the First Order.”

 

No, she hasn’t told him that.  And something in the serious, admiring way she says this makes him feel like a hero.  He’d had his own motives for saving Rey, of course.  But he undeniably saved her from a lot more pain and perhaps even death.  It’s one of the few win-win decisions Kylo can remember making.  His decisions usually result in him winning and others losing.  

 

He looks across at her and responds to her earnestness in kind.  “Rey, it would have been a terrible waste to let them destroy you.  I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

 

She hiccups, then giggles.  “Yeah, well, who else would you have to pour your wine with the Force then?”

 

“Do you think you can pour me another glass?” he challenges Rey now.   

 

She looks a little dubious, but she sets down her glass and stands to walk over closer to him.  “I think being closer will help,” she explains as she gingerly weaves her way to close the distance between them.

 

“Rey, you’re tipsy,” he accuses. 

 

“Yes and drunk Force-using sounds a little Dark Side, right?  But let me try.”  And sure enough, with enough intense concentration, Rey refills his glass.   But the effort depletes her.  And now she sways a bit and hiccups again as she attempts to high five him and fails miserably by inches. 

 

Kylo laughs out loud and stands to intercept her sloshing glass before she spills it all over him.  He decides that it really is time to cut her off now.  “That’s enough, Rey.  One more glass and you’ll be on the floor.  Wine is new to you, so take it slow.”

 

“Today was a day for new things,” Rey muses and now she truly does look a bit drunk with a lopsided smile and unfocused eyes.  “Three new things . . . three in one day.”

 

He thinks a moment.  “The wine and hyperspace, right?”  She nods.  “What else am I missing?”

 

“The kiss,” she whispers.  “You are my first kiss, Ben.”

 

Oh, he should have guessed as much.  And now he’s thinking of her forgotten passionate kiss in his arms last night.  If that was Rey’s first kiss, then she’s a fast learner.  And, really, that’s not surprising given how fast she catches on to the Force.

 

“Kiss me again, Ben.  I like kissing you.”

 

“Rey, that’s not a good idea—“  And that statement is a triumph of Kylo’s reason over his baser instincts.  Because his Jakku waif looks very alluring standing next to him.  He would definitely be up for a repeat of last night’s kiss.

 

“Please, master.”

 

What did she just call him?  And, oh, he hopes she calls him that again sometime.  When she’s not drunk.

 

“Rey—“ he starts to object when she reaches up to sweetly peck at his cheek.  It’s like a kiss a little girl might give him.   And it reminds him just how young this scavenger girl truly is.  Despite her gritty life on Jakku, she remains very innocent in certain respects.  Or maybe that’s just her Light.  Because while the lonely years of hardship may have left their mark on her, they don’t seem to have stolen her happiness.  Watching her delight in hyperspace and now in wine, makes him smile.   Then he remembers her goofy snort laugh over the droid speaking wookiee.  Yes, this girl is fun to be around.  He needs more fun in his life.

 

“You need to go sleep it off, Rey.  Tonight you had your first taste of wine and tomorrow you’re going to have your first hangover,” he laughs.  “You may decide to rethink this whole wine business.”

 

“Yeah, well, good night,” she tells him and sets off staggering across the room.  Only she’s headed the wrong direction. 

 

“Other way, Rey,” he smirks and suppresses a grin.  “That’s the way to my room.”

 

“Oh, uh, yeah.  Whoops.”  She flashes a sheepish smile and then whirls to promptly stagger back the other direction. 

 

The next morning, a groggy and slightly worse for wear Rey appears just as Kylo is ready to head out.  He's got his surcoat slung over his arm hiding his sword.  His helmet and gloves are stashed in the shuttle. 

 

"Come, walk out with me," he tells Rey and she heads to the landing pad with him.  "Practice your meditation while I'm gone,” he instructs.  “The goal is to improve your concentration.  To be able to focus in the Force quickly and deeply.  Practice will make it easier. One day it will be effortless."

 

She nods.

 

"When I return, if you have progressed enough, we will work on mind reading."

 

"You can do that?"   Rey looks impressed and intrigued.  He likes her enthusiasm.

 

“Yes.  All things are possible in the Force."  At least, they are for Darth Plagueis.  And maybe someday they will be for Darth Ren too.  Just not yet. 

 

They are at the shuttle now.  "When will you return?" Rey asks and her eyes look hopeful. 

 

War is not an easy thing to predict, so he hedges.  "It depends.  Probably, in a day or two."    

 

She looks relieved at this answer, she must have been expecting him to stay away longer.  Kylo can count on one hand the number of people who truly like him and look forward to his return.  He's a Sith so he doesn't concern himself with being liked.   But Rey likes him, he sees.  And she is concerned.  "Be careful, Ben.  I don't want you to get shot like your friend did."

 

Blasters are not much of a threat for Kylo Ren.  "I won't get shot,” he assures Rey.  “I can freeze blaster bolts with the Force."   It's his signature move, actually.  

 

"You can do that?"  Again, Rey looks impressed. 

 

"Yes, one day I will teach you that too, Rey."  He looks down at her and smiles.  "Practice, Padawan, and when you're ready I will teach you everything I know."

 

She grins.  "I'd like that."

 

He will too, Kylo realizes.  And then on impulse, he leans in to kiss her chastely on the lips like he did in the shuttle.  It makes her smile.  "Take care, Master," she whispers. 

 

And then he boards his ship, dons his surcoat, mask and sword and heads off to war.  Watching as Rey's figure becomes smaller and smaller as the shuttle pulls away.  


	7. Chapter 7

_He went to war as a teen and now he is a man.  He has seen far too much death and destruction in a galaxy sharply divided and bitterly entrenched on both sides.  It has both hardened him and weakened him.  And now and then, he does things he knows he shouldn't do.  Like killing an unarmed prisoner.  Like taking pity on a girl in a cell._

_Separatist or Republican, First Order or Resistance, it doesn't seem to matter.   All the high-minded speeches from the Senate floor and the fascist rants screamed out over the holonet are lies.   And that's why they all need to die.  He will end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.  The last remnants of the two Republics will be swept away and he will reign._

_It begins when he goes to the temple and hacks through young and old.   These are his friends and they trust him and call him by name.  Master Skywalker, there’s too many of them.  Ben, what are you doing?   Stop!  But he does not hesitate and he shows no mercy.  Two generations later, in this as in all things, he will finish what his grandfather started._

_Dark deeds increase his Dark power.   And it's the power he will need to overthrow his Master.   Then he can make things the way he wants them to be.  Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy and we will have peace.  He tells himself this as he stands yellow eyed and cloaked in Darkness.  A tall silhouette alone on a balcony overlooking a Hellish world.  No one is there to see the tear that trickles down one cheek.   Even now, some part of him will rage against the dying of his Light._  

 

“What did you see?”

 

Rey looks up from her seat on the couch to see Ben standing, watching her.  He must be done with his work now.  He’s been holed up in his office all day today working on a crisis.  Rey smiles weakly at him, her thoughts still so thoroughly distracted by the vision.  These visions are always so unsettling.  So perplexing.  She’s lost in the meaning of it all.

 

“You saw him again, didn’t you?”  Ben says this quietly and with reverence.  Rey knows now that he envies her for these visions.  Ben is so fascinated by the elusive grandfather he never knew and so admires.

 

“Yes,” Rey looks down, wondering how to tell him what she saw.  She decides just to come out with it.  “Ben, Darth Vader killed children.  Small children.”  Sweet little innocent children barely old enough for school, let alone old enough to hold a lightsaber.  They had been lambs to the slaughter, but thankfully it had been quick.  Rey has the disturbing images burned forever into her mind. 

 

Ben seems unsurprised by what she tells him.  He just nods.  “The Clone Wars were a brutal time, Rey.”

 

“Just like today,” she says softly, thinking of her capture by the First Order.  Rey wonders whether anyone else on Jakku had been hurt or captured that night.  She’s looked on the holonet and found nothing.  But that might just be because nothing that happens on Jakku is newsworthy to the galaxy at large.

 

“There were heroes and villains on both sides of the Clone Wars, Rey.  Both the Separatists and the Republic did ugly things.”  Ben looks very serious now as he holds her gaze.  “What they say is true.  War is Hell.  But sometimes it is necessary.”

 

Rey nods at this wisdom. War is a terrible thing, she thinks, and the moral high ground tends to get lost in all the rhetoric.  And sometimes it ends like the Clones Wars had ended—with everyone losing.  “What side was he on, Ben?  Was Darth Vader a Separatist or did he fight for the Republic?” 

 

Ben crosses to seat himself on the couch she’s perched on barefoot and cross-legged.  “My grandfather Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi during the Clone Wars.  He fought for the Republic.  Then when the Jedi tried to take over the Republic, he became a Sith.  Ultimately, the Republic became the Empire and he fought for the Emperor.”

 

Rey digests this for a moment.   “So Darth Vader fought his whole life.  First the Separatists and then the Rebellion?”

 

“Yes.  Jedi or Sith, Darth Vader was a warrior, Rey.”

 

Ben says this with admiration.  And now Rey wonders why Ben isn’t fighting in this current war if he admires his Sith grandfather so much.  Because it sounds like Darth Vader would definitely be fighting if he were still around.  So she asks, “Do the Sith always fight wars?”

 

Ben shakes his head no.  “The Sith always seek to gain power, Rey, but they have taken different paths.  There have been Sith warriors like Darth Vader.  Sith politicians like Darth Sidious.  Sith businessmen like Darth Plagueis.  Sith scientists and engineers like Darth Tenebrous.  One way or another—whether with the sword, with the law, with money or with technology—the Sith have made their power and influence felt.”

 

“I’m glad that you a business Sith,” she decides.  “I’m glad that you’re not fighting in this war, Ben.”

 

“Why is that?” he smiles, looking curious.

 

Isn’t it obvious?  “Well, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, for one.  And besides, I don’t like violence.”

 

He looks her in the eye and again he looks very serious.  “I can be violent, Rey.  You should know that.  All Sith can be violent.”

 

She knows, she gets it.  “I can be violent too if you push me.”  Rey knows how to defend herself and she’s willing to do it.    “I lived on Jakku, remember?  It’s eye for an eye on Jakku.  Disputes tended to get settled with violence, Ben.”

 

Yet again, Ben is looking at her with a strange intensity that is slightly unnerving.  “Rey, my violence always has a purpose.  I like order.  Rampant destruction and death is the antithesis of order.   But sometimes it is necessary.”  And now he is scaring her a little and she raises her eyebrows in alarm.  Ben must see this because he hastens to add, “I might hurt others but I will never hurt you, Rey.”

 

And those words do not reassure her.  They are creepy and, if anything, they increase her alarm.  She cocks her head and complains, “Ben, those are fine words but how do I know if you are telling me the truth?”

 

“Feel it in the Force, Rey,” Ben suggests.  “The Force always reveals an outright lie.”

 

Really?  “How?” she challenges.

 

“Concentrate on me, Rey.”  Then he repeats, “I will never hurt you, Rey.”

 

And she does feel the weight of his words, of the sincere intent behind them.  Yes, it feels like he is telling her the truth. Or at least, what he believes to be the truth.  And this newfound knowledge makes Rey curious.  “Now tell me a lie,” she instructs.  “I want to feel what a lie feels like in the Force.”

 

He sits back, crosses his arms, and tells her, “I was born on Yavin IV.” 

 

And this time, Rey feels the evasion.  She doesn’t sense a lie so much as she senses the lack of truth.  She concentrates a moment and then nods her agreement.  “Yes, that’s a lie.  You were born on Coruscant.”

 

He smiles in surprise.  “Yes.  Yes, I was.  How did you know?”

 

How did she know?  Rey isn’t sure.  “It just came to me.”

 

“No, it didn’t,” Ben grins.  “You just skimmed that from my mind.”  He considers a moment.  “You did it unconsciously, Rey.  You weren’t even trying.”

 

“What?”

 

“Let’s try this.  I’ve been wanting to try this.”  Now Ben looks excited.  “Concentrate on me, Rey.  And then jump into my mind.”

 

“What?”  Huh?

 

“My defenses are down, Rey.  Come into me.”

 

“Uh . . . “

 

He nods reassurance at her.  “Just try it.”

 

And she does.   It doesn’t work.

 

Ben doesn’t give up.  He beckons her over.  “Touch me.  Sometimes that helps.  A physical connection tends to promote a mental connection.” 

 

“Okay.”  She slides over next to him on the couch and takes his hand.  Once again, she concentrates.  “It's helping some.”  She feels more of a connection so she reaches for his other hand.  Ben’s hands are large, warm and surprisingly soft.  And that makes sense.  He's a businessman. He's not a mechanic or a tech who works with his hands or a soldier or laborer who gets his hands dirty.  Ben works with a datapad on com calls all day probably behind a desk.  Making money instead of making things. 

 

“Good.  Concentrate.  I won't resist you.  You won't need to force it.  Find your focus and then drift into my mind.” 

 

Rey closes her eyes now and attempts to block out her physical world.  She still struggles to find the Force some days.  But today is not one of them.  “Oh!” she whispers as she feels her consciousness blur with his.  Did she do it?  Is she in his mind?  Yes, she’s in his mind.  This feels so strange.  Rey feels an odd sense of wonderment and peace.   Is Ben helping her?  It feels like he is helping her, pulling her towards memories he wants her to see.  And, oh, this is fascinating.

 

Rey sees an introverted boy who is a reluctant student of the Force.  He wants to study the Clone Wars and become a professor, but that’s not an option.  You have a responsibility to the galaxy and to your family, young Ben Solo is told incessantly.  But all he hears is that what he himself wants doesn’t matter. 

 

It only adds to his frustration that he is the worst Jedi student of all.   Rey hears a bearded man in brown robes argue repeatedly with a woman against training Ben.  He has too much of our father in him, the man contends time and again when they think Ben is not listening.  Face it--he is dangerous, the man warns.  And young Ben is perplexed when he overhears.  Because his grandfather is Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi hero of the Clone Wars.  Right?

 

Wrong.  Ben Solo’s grandfather is Anakin Skywalker, known to the galaxy as Lord Darth Vader, the feared Sith enforcer of his Emperor Master.  Rey feels firsthand now how betrayed young Ben feels when his family’s lies are first exposed.  It rocks the already disgruntled world of fifteen-year-old Ben Solo.  For it turns out to be the Jedi who lie to him, and not the Sith.   Poor boy, Rey thinks.  He is so lost.  So confused about the Force, about his family, about everything.

 

“I love this.”  Ben suddenly speaks and his voice rattles Rey’s concentration.  “I love the feel of you in my mind. Let me show you more.”

 

Rey panting now from the effort.  “I c-can't hold the connection.   This is t-too h-hard—“

 

Ben understands immediately.  He lifts her hand to his temple.  “Touch my head.  I usually have to have my hand near someone's head.”

 

Yes, that helps.  It helps a lot.  “Oh, that’s better,” Rey breathes out.  She lifts her other hand and now she and Ben are awkwardly seated side by side on the couch with his head bent towards her.  That can't be comfortable so Rey shifts and now she's up on her knees, cradling his face in her hands. 

 

“Look into me,” Ben groans softly.  “See me.”  And she does. 

 

Rey sees his Sith Master, a tall shadowy grey figure in a black cloak and hood.  One lesson from the mysterious Muun recluse gives teenaged Ben a taste of his Dark potential and the boy is hooked.  More, he wants more.  More of the easy power that feels so good.  More of the secret truth of his family’s past.  So Ben seeks out Darth Plagueis and begs.  Teach me, be my Master.  I cannot learn from my uncle and I do not trust him.  The old Sith Master turns Ben down flat.  But then relents to dangle hope before him.   Impress me, boy, and perhaps I shall reconsider.  So Ben is bold and returns bloodied, pale and shell-shocked one day.   He doesn’t show Rey what has happened.  But it is momentous.  For teenaged Ben is rewarded with the title Apprentice and the course of history changes that day.

 

“I want you to know me, Rey,” Ben whispers.  “Very few people know me.” 

 

Rey keeps moving into his mind, following his lead.  Deepening their mental connection as their physical distance recedes.  She's straddling Ben’s lap as their foreheads meet and her hands rest on his cheeks.   Normally, Rey would be shy and uncomfortable at this physical closeness.  She has lived alone for years and so she is not a physically demonstrative person.  She’s usually quite standoffish.  But Rey is barely conscious of Ben's body for she is lost in the newfound rapture of his mind.  And no matter what their bodies might do, she thinks there can be no greater intimacy than this mental connection they share now.

 

She sees Ben’s younger self crisscrossing the galaxy on a quest to discover the past.  On an emerald moon, he digs and digs until he uncovers what little remains of his grandfather's armor.  He is disappointed that he can't find a sword.  He has dreamed of wielding his grandfather’s sword.  There were two of them, but his uncle had lost the first.  Then, Ben comes for the first time to the castle with Vanee at his side.  The old caretaker lets the young man wander for hours room by room.  Everything is as it had been left over twenty years before.  Respectfully maintained down to Lord Vader's few personal effects. A second suit of armor, clothes and even a spare cape.   When one day you come to this castle as a full Dark lord, you should don your grandfather's cape, Vanee suggests.  And the impressionable Ben takes that suggestion to heart.  He will earn the mantle of his forbearer's aegis when he earns the title Darth.  But there are many days when that goal seems out of reach for the young Apprentice.

 

And now Rey sees his self-doubt.  Ben doesn’t doubt what he wants, but there are times when he doubts that he can achieve it.  And that gnaws at him because he has to succeed or all the collateral damage he has caused will be wasted.  He will have contributed to the disorder and not been the solution to the disorder.  “Oh, Ben, you're afraid,” Rey says softly.  “You're afraid that you will never be as powerful as Darth Vader.”

 

“Yes,” he says simply.

 

Now Rey sees Ben carry her unconscious into the castle.  She wears only the hospital gown and bandages, so Ben has wrapped her in some black blanket to shield her from the chill of space during the shuttle ride.  Vanee awaits him on the landing pad and looks on with interest as Ben gently lays her upon a bed.  The old caretaker asks who she is.  Her name is Rey, Ben tells Vanee.  She too has suffered for Luke Skywalker.  Is she Jedi, the old man asks.  No.  But she is the Light.   Then, Ben stands watching over Rey until she wakes.  He doesn't want her to be alone when she wakes.  Somehow, Ben already knows that Rey is very much alone.

 

Ben is lonely in his own way, Rey sees.  He’s long been looking for a connection with a peer.  All those who might have been his equal are dead now, but Rey doesn’t understand why.  And so when she shows up, Ben is hopeful.  Very hopeful.

 

She’s fading now.  The mental concentration this connection requires has exhausted her.  Rey’s stamina in the Force is still so limited. 

 

“I can’t—“ she stammers out.  “N-No more—“

 

But Ben clamps down his hands over hers, holding them in place.  “Wait!” he cries.  “Stay with me.  Let me show you how I see you in the Force.” 

 

And now she sees faint glimpses that look like herself bloodied and beaten in her desert rags.   A black gloved hand reaches out towards her face but stops just short of touching her.  And then all that quickly dissolves and Rey sees light illuminating a darkened room.  The sudden change is blinding for a moment.  It’s a shock to the system that makes you blink as your eyes adjust.   But they do, and where in Darkness there were shadows everywhere now there are colors.   It is like a veil is lifted, like the truth is uncovered, like happiness is discovered.  This is what it means when people say they have seen the Light.   The shimmering, beckoning, comforting Light.  And when Ben looks at her, this is what his mind sees.  This interrogation is over, someone says in a deep, metallic voice. 

 

And that’s when the connection breaks.  Rey can do no more.  As her mind retreats from his, she physically pulls back to sit on her heels.   Rey is panting and depleted, but amazed.  She grins at Ben and says the first thing that jumps into her mind.  It’s wholly inadequate to express all that they have shared.   “I like that I look shiny to you,” she giggles. 

 

“Rey,” he breathes out her name as he returns the smile.  “I'm so glad I found you.” 

 

“Me too,” she agrees pragmatically.  “Otherwise, I'd be dead.”

 

“Rey, listen to me.”  His hands come up to rest on her waist.  “I will need Light in my life, if I am to do what must be done.  I am a Dark Sith and I will grow Darker still.”

 

She doesn't understand what he is telling her, but it sounds like an admission and a warning.  “Are you saying that you need me?” she asks.

 

“Yes.”  

 

“Then tell me how to help you, Master.” 

 

“Just you being here helps.  Be my Light, Rey.  Don’t leave me in a few weeks.  Stay.”

 

She doesn’t want to leave him.  They have never discussed this, but Rey is happy to stay.  And some long buried part of her thrills at the idea that she is wanted.  For this throwaway orphan from Jakku has never been wanted before.  Rey will do anything for this engaging man who has saved her from the First Order and whisked her away to safety and comfort.   He treats her like a princess and teaches her the forbidden Force.   And he and Vanee are her only friends.  So, of course, Rey will stay.  And so what if Ben can be dramatic and vague now and then.That’s okay.She’s starting to understand how lonely and unhappy Ben’s past is.Rey can relate.

 

Impulsively, she throws her arms around Ben’s neck in a hug.  Rey can count on one hand the number of hugs she has received in her life, so she can recognize a person who needs comforting.   His hands stroke her back now and Rey sighs aloud.  After being in Ben's mind, it feels very natural to be in his arms.

 

“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?” she says without lifting her head.  He had probably come in originally to say goodbye, Rey realizes.   But then they had gotten sidetracked on this whole mindreading business. 

 

“Yes,” he concedes.  “I’m late, in fact.  There is a problem that needs my attention.”

 

“Are you going to fire someone?”

 

“Yes, someone will definitely be terminated.  But I will be back soon, Rey.” 

 

“Good.”  She smiles into his chest.  “I want to try this again.”

 

He jumps at the suggestion.  “You can get in my head any time you want, Rey.”

 

“No, next time I want you to get in my head.  I want to show you my life.”

 

“It’s a deal.”  Ben needs to leave so she pulls back and makes to stand but he holds her in place.  “Kiss me goodbye, Rey?” 

 

She doesn’t get a chance to answer before Ben’s lips find hers.  It is a gentle kiss.  Beguiling and easy.  And now her arms are wrapped around his neck once again.  Rey gasps as his hands grip her ass and suddenly his tongue is in her mouth and he deepens the kiss.  And now this is a real kiss.  Not a perfunctory peck on the lips or cheek, but a grownup, open mouthed kiss of passion.  Is that her moaning or him?  She doesn't know, she doesn't care.  Maybe she ought to be afraid but she isn't.  She feels very safe in Ben's arms.  In a short time, she is starting to trust this man.   And that trust feels good.

 

She is thoroughly kissed and now Ben is very late when together they walk out to the landing platform.  Rey watches as Ben disappears up the ramp with his armful of work datapads in hand.  The shuttle seems to have more carbon scoring on its underside each time she sees it, Rey notes.  It looks more and more like a warship to her eyes and less like a businessman’s fancy ride.  But if the newsfeeds she watches are any indication, the war between the New Republic and the First Order has heated up to a fever pitch lately and all sorts of civilians and noncombatants keep getting caught in the middle.  It must be very dangerous out there, Rey thinks.  And she is glad to be safely tucked away here on Mustafar. 

 

“Take care, Master,” she says aloud as she watches the shuttle lift off.  Rey waves until she can no longer see it in the air. 


	8. Chapter 8

_Underneath the armor and beneath the mask, he is weak.  Floating in a bacta tank surrounded by Imperial Guards, he is vulnerable.  He is nearly helpless in this state with his breathing mask removed and his mechanical limbs off.  For truly, he is more machine now than man._

_The whole galaxy shrinks from his name and yet if they were to discover him here in private they might laugh.  Laugh at the ironic infirmity of the powerful Sith.  Ridicule the monstrous appearance of his burned face and body.  There would be none to pity his hurt.  Instead, they would judge it well deserved.  And maybe they are right._

_Who is he behind locked doors without the cloak and the mask and the posturing and the intimidation?   He is a different man with a different name.  A man he tells himself is dead.  That name no longer has any meaning for him.  But it is his true self.  And this ruined, hurt husk of a man is his true self too.  We all bear scars from our life experiences, but this man has more than most.   And the deepest, most painful scars are the ones you cannot see and he will not speak of._

 

“It was another vision, wasn’t it?”

 

Rey whirls in surprise at the sound of his voice.  “Ben.  When did you get back?”

 

He stands behind her barefoot and shirtless in sleep pants.  Peering at her in the dim light.  “About an hour ago.  It's 3AM.  I thought you were asleep.” 

 

Rey had been asleep an hour ago.  But tonight she had awoken again to a vision.  “Some nights I can't stay asleep,” she confides shakily.  “I keep dreaming of him.”  Rey is still so distracted.  By the troubling vision and maybe also by the unexpected sight of a shirtless, leanly muscled Ben.

 

“Him.  Darth Vader?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Ben steps closer now.  “Tell me,” he urges.  “Please tell me.”

 

And Rey tries, but these visions are hard to describe.  For they are a jumble of images and emotions, of words and conflicts.  Rarely are they linear.  It’s not like watching a movie on the holonet.  “He's not who he appears to be,” Rey begins, searching for the right words.

 

Ben nods at this.  “The Sith rarely are, Rey.  Tell me, please.  I have never once seen him in the Force.  Even after all these years here on Mustafar.”

 

So Rey tries again to express all the frustration, regret and tragedy she sees in this man.  “He's so determined and yet he doubts.  He keeps his distance and yet he's so needy.  So strong and scary and yet weak beneath it all . . . “

 

“Yes,” Ben says simply.  “I understand.”

 

Something in the way he says this makes Rey look up sharply.  But Ben instantly looks away.  “Go on, Rey,” he says gruffly.

 

So she does.  “He hates himself, Ben.  He hates what he has become.  But he’s not sure what he should have done differently to change it.  And he sees no alternative.  Because he thinks that the Empire is the only way to bring order to the galaxy.”  Rey pauses.  When Ben remains silent, she continues babbling out her impressions.   Perhaps none of this is making sense, she fears.  “He lived through a civil war and he saw all the destruction it caused.  He never wants the Clone Wars to happen again.  He thinks unity and order will prevent it.”  Rey looks down as she mutters out, “He’s tired of war, but more war seems like the only solution.  So he keeps fighting to stamp out the Rebellion once and for all.” 

 

“Every war is supposed to be the war to end all wars,” Ben says quietly.  “But war doesn’t end because peace is a lie.  Peace is just a lull between wars.  A time when the conflicts are not yet ripe again for bloodshed.”

 

“Darth Vader would have agreed with you,” Rey thinks aloud. 

 

“Yes,” Ben nods.  “My grandfather was a Sith.  He knew the truth of war and he made hard choices for the good of the galaxy.  Conventional morality does not apply to the Sith, Rey.  We live differently from other people.” 

 

Ben walks past her now to stare out at the volcanic landscape of Mustafar.  “I wish I’d known him.  I’ve read every book written on him.  I’ve heard my family’s version of him and my Master’s version of him.  But I still don’t know him, Rey.  He is one of the great public figures of the Late Republic and the Empire, and he is still a mystery to me.”  Ben looks over at her now to confess.  “I’m jealous that you see him in the Force.  I wish I could do the same.”

 

Rey recognizes the sense of futility behind those words.  For Rey of Jakku knows what it means to wish in vain for the guidance and support of a family.  “Are the Sith always so solitary?” she asks.  Darth Vader seems so much alone in her dreams.  And she’s beginning to understand that Ben Solo is very alone too.  For before she came along, he would return here to his empty castle with only old Vanee and the ghosts of the past for company.   

 

Ben mulls over her question.  “The Sith are not always alone.  But power can be very isolating.  When you are at the top of the heap, you have very few peers who understand your struggles.  Heavy is the head the wears the crown.  Always.”  Ben shrugs with a nonchalance that looks a bit forced to Rey’s eyes.  For she senses the layers of intense emotion that lay beneath his words.  Dissatisfaction.  Frustration.  Futility.  “My family tends to end up alone.  My grandfather was a widower.  My parents divorced.  My uncle is a celibate priest.”

 

“So, you don’t have a wife and a family stashed somewhere I don’t know about?” Rey knows the answer from Vanee but she teases Ben anyway in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

 

It fails.  “No.  I am alone, Rey.”

 

“And you don’t ever see your parents or your uncle?”

 

“No.  My father is a small-time criminal and my mother is a left-wing nut,” he says with a mix of derision and regret.  “My uncle . . . “ Ben sighs and looks away.  “My uncle is Luke Skywalker.”

 

“Oh.”  Wow.  Rey blinks.  “Really?”

 

“Yes.”  He sighs again.  “Luke Skywalker was Darth Vader’s son stolen at birth by the Jedi.  He was raised to hate his father.  And, in the end, he helped to kill him and to destroy his life’s work by toppling the Empire.”  Ben shakes his head in disapproval.  “My uncle threw the galaxy into chaos.  It was everything my grandfather had worked years to avoid.  We’ve been at war on and off ever since.”

 

Rey considers this.  To think that only scant weeks ago she had thought Luke Skywalker to be a myth.  Like the Force.   Like the Sith.   “Is that why you are helping the First Order find him?  To avenge your grandfather?”

 

“Yes, but I have other reasons. My uncle is a dangerous man.  He’s been a vigilante his whole life.”  Ben looks to her now and his voice sound resigned and determined.  “Rey, I was raised by veterans of the Rebellion and my family has been fighting wars for generations now.  I know what it means to be tired of war, but to feel that there is no other way out.  War is inevitable.   The best we can hope for is that the war will be decisive.  That’s the optimal outcome for everyone.  Wars that drag on and entrench can be costly for both sides.”

 

His words are heading a direction she doesn’t like.  Rey slants him a critical look.  “Does that mean you are backing the First Order in this war?  Is that why you are helping them find your uncle the Jedi?” Rey can’t keep the tone of disapproval from her voice.

 

“Yes.  I think the First Order has the better plan for the future, Rey.  The New Republic had their chance.  They tried and failed.  It’s time for a new approach.”

 

Rey makes a face, but she doesn’t launch into a political discussion.  He knows how she feels about the First Order and he knows why.   

 

Ben turns back to contemplate the lava field in silence.  Finally, he speaks.  “I really wish I’d known my grandfather.  I think he could have helped me a great deal.”

 

He sounds vulnerable as he says this, not the self-assured man Rey knows.  And somehow Ben’s revelations this evening about his uncle and his family have made him more of a mystery to her and not less.  Rey steps over to stand beside him and reaches out to take his hand in hers.  Her strange benefactor seems like he needs a friend tonight. 

 

“You truly admire him, don’t you?” she asks softly.

 

“Yes, since I was a little boy,” he nods, still looking out on the sea of lava.  “One day, I’d like to finish what Darth Vader started.  To help end all this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.  It would be best for everyone, Rey.”

 

It’s a bold statement and it is said with conviction.  But not enthusiasm.  And that emboldens Rey to ask, “And what about you, Ben?  What do you want for yourself?”

 

“For myself?”  He thinks a moment.  “I’d like to be happy.  No one in my family ever seems to be happy for long.”  He squeezes her hand now and looks to her with a wry, wistful semblance of a smile.  “What do you want, Rey?”

 

She answers without hesitation.  “I’d like to have a family of my own someday.”

 

“I had a family and they didn’t make me happy, Rey.  Quite the opposite.”  Ben’s bitterness is biting.

 

But Rey rejects his pessimism.  “I will find a way for my family to be happy.  There is always a way.  Scavenging taught me that, Ben.  There is always a way to make something work.  It might not always look pretty, but if it works then that’s what matters.”

 

“That’s very pragmatic of you,” he observes.  “And optimistic.”  Ben turns to face her now.  “You are good for me, Rey.  I need someone like you in my life.”

 

Rey smiles crookedly.  “I’m a scavenger turned prisoner turned padawan.”  She’s back to her usual Jakku self-deprecation.   “Just what every reclusive businessman needs in his ancestral castle.”

 

“No,” he says as he reaches to brush back a stray lock of her hair.   “You are the Light in my life, Rey.  I am a Dark Sith and I crave the Light,” he whispers.  “I crave you.”  Then his lips descend on hers before she can react.  It feels as if all the looming, brooding intensity that is Ben Solo tonight has been distilled into this kiss.  It’s hot and dark and it scorches her with its sudden blazing passion.   Rey stands immobile with surprise for a moment and then she wholeheartedly joins him in the kiss.  

 

When they both come up for air, Ben is panting out words.  “I can’t sleep with you here.”  Is he angry?  He sounds almost angry.  Ben is cupping her face with both hands now. His forehead is bent to touch hers.  “I close my eyes and I can feel your Light calling to me, Rey. I am drawn to your power.” His voice sounds almost defeated. Like he is admitting something to her.

 

“Ben—“

 

His hands are around her waist now, pulling her closer still as his lips find her mouth again.  Her arms creep up around his neck and now Rey is clinging to him, her body stretched the length of his as she responds to his kiss.  They fit perfectly together.   Her back is arched and her head is back and this is reckless. Very reckless.  But when he kisses her like this, Rey loses her head in the moment.  It is a heady rush of desire that consumes her.  His mouth is on her neck now and she moans out his name softly. 

 

“Ben—“

 

She might be a teenage virgin but he is a grown man who isn't going to bother with a juvenile first-base, second-base, third-base buildup to sex.  Rey knows that she is way out of her league with this man.  Yes, she understands what happens between a man and a woman, but only in theory.  She has no experience in these matters.  But even she can tell that things are about to get out of hand.

 

“Come to bed.  Now.”  He growls this like a command, not like a lover.  And it’s like a bucket of cold water thrown over her.  Rey wrenches back.  This is too fast for her.  Way too fast for her.  “I should go back to my room—“  Rey makes to dart past him and flee, but he catches her arm. 

 

“No.  We’re not done yet.”

 

“Ben, this is a bad idea—“ she reasons.  It’s not that Rey isn’t tempted.  It just that she’s not ready for this.  And this isn’t the sort of thing she takes lightly.

 

He must see her indecision, because he rushes to assure her, “Rey, don’t be afraid.”  And he tugs her back to him.  “Let me take you bed,” he whispers. “Now.”

 

Rey opens her mouth to respond and then hesitates.  He takes it as a yes, scooping her up and throwing her over his left shoulder. 

 

Rey yelps in surprise.  Then she starts kicking.  “What are you doing??  Put me down!”

 

Ben just responds with a hard swat on her ass.

 

“Oh!” she is outraged.  What has gotten into him?  He’s never like this.  “Stop it, Ben—this isn’t funny—“  But he ignores her objections as he carries her off.

 

They are in his bedroom now and he sets her down.    Rey puts her hands on her hips and glares up at him.   All romance is gone now as far as she is concerned.   There is fire in her eyes.  “This isn’t happening,” she informs him.  “We can’t—I mean, I don’t want—Ben, this is too soon—and I’m, I’m a--“

 

He ignores her.  And then disarms her with his words.  He’s back to being intensely contemplative.  To being the Ben she knows.  “There’s something very noble about you, Rey.  About your plight.  Another person might have succumbed to the hopelessness of it all, but not you.”

 

“What?” Huh?

 

His eyes search hers.  They are dark and piercing.  “When I found you in that prison cell, I knew that you were strong.  You were beaten and hurt but still you didn’t cry out loud.  And then you woke up here in a strange place and you stared me down even as you were trembling.   I have always thought that the Light is weak.  That its promises are the opiate of the masses.  But you are not weak, Rey.  Not at all.  I look at you and want some of your strength . . . some of your conviction.”

 

What is he talking about?  And what does this have to do with her sleeping with him?

 

“I’m a Sith, so I crave power.   For years, that has meant Darkness.  And then you came along and now more than ever, I crave the Light.”

 

Of course, she thinks, he’s talking about power and the Force again.  This man has a one-track mind that only thinks of his beloved Force.  “I don’t understand—“  

 

“I think maybe the answer is that I crave it all, Rey.  I want it all.   And so wanting the Light doesn’t make me a weak Sith, it makes me a stronger one.”

 

Rey is lost in his soliloquy that feels like a confession.  “Ben—“ 

 

He is always intense, but never more so than tonight as he hovers over her.   He raises a hand to cup her cheek.  “Don’t you see?  I want it all!  All of the galaxy and all of the Force.  Light and Dark.”  Then his hand shifts from her cheek to the nape of her neck, winding into her loose hair and clasping tight. He steps forward and roughly jerks her head back and now she is staring up at him open mouthed.  Totally taken aback by this forceful, resolute version of Ben.  He’s like a man she’s never met before.   Commanding and in charge.  A little scary.  His dark eyes are all that Rey can see with his face mere inches from hers.  “I’m a Sith and I want it all.  Including you, Rey.”

 

His mouth finds hers again and this time his kiss is insistent.  He’s not taking no for an answer.  Passion and heat and desire spiral fast out of control and take Rey with them.  She’s so distracted by Ben’s rapturous kiss that she doesn’t notice that he’s untied the robe she wears over her nightgown until it hits the floor.  “Be my Light,” he urges between kisses. 

 

And now Rey doesn’t know what to do.  Because hearing him say he wants her is so satisfying because she is the throwaway girl no one has ever wanted.   And his kiss is like a drug that dulls her resolve and tempts her to throw caution to the wind.  But whatever her relationship is to this mysterious and wonderful man, going to bed with him will only make it more complicated, she fears.   And this is her first time so it ought to mean something more than convenient comfort for a depressive Sith who can’t sleep at 3AM.  In her imagination, she has always done this with a man who loves her and is committed to her.   And, yes, Ben is her rescuer and her teacher.  But that’s not love and they’re not planning a future and she doesn’t want this to just be sex. 

 

“No, Ben.”  She breaks free and pushes back. 

 

He looks at her a long moment, as if deciding.  Then he blinks and his eyes flash yellow.   And then his power is revealed.  Rey remembers this from before when she had asked to feel his power.   How the Sith who hides in the Force and projects a run of the mill ordinary imprint had revealed his Dark power to frighten her.   Her fear had not come from any perceived threat.  Instead, it had come from an attraction.  For Ben’s feel in the Force is awesome in scope.  And intense.  Oh, so intense.  His Darkness is overwhelming.  And, Gods help her, it beckons to her with lurid appeal.

 

_You are beautiful.  Your Light is beautiful.  Come show me the Light_.  How has she never noticed before how thick and glossy Ben’s hair is?  It’s long like she likes it.  Brushing at his cheekbones and flaring out at the nape of his neck.  Rey wonders what it would feel like to bury her hands in that hair as he buries his face between her thighs.  _Surrender to me and I will be your forever slave_.    _You don’t know the pleasure of the Dark Side._   And all Rey can focus on now are his muscled arms and those dual rows of abs.  Her eyes lose count as they move down to where his bare skin disappears beneath his low slung pants, but it’s at least an eight pack.   Quickly, Rey averts her eyes but not before she notices how the fabric pulls at his bulge.  _There is no escape.  It is your destiny.  Give yourself to the Dark Side._   Maybe it’s all those kisses or perhaps it’s the lure of his power, but Rey’s panties are clammy now.  And the gossamer thin nightgown she wears somehow feels hot and confining and she would rather be free of it.   Rey doesn’t need to look down to know that her nipples are pebbled hard. 

 

This isn’t real, Rey tells herself sternly.  But even if it’s not real, it’s impossible to ignore.   Ben is doing nothing but standing there with his power blazing and his bangs falling over his strange feral eyes.  But it’s a potent mental seduction nonetheless.  And Rey is no match for it. 

 

Her mouth falls open and her hands come up as she stumbles back.  “Oh!” she gasps.  “Oh, please!”

 

“Please what, Rey?” he goads her as he advances forward with her each step back. 

 

 

“This isn’t fair,” she whispers as she turns slightly to avoid being backed against the wall.  But that puts her closer to the bed so maybe it wasn’t the best idea. 

 

“I’m a Sith, we don’t play fair,” he smirks.  “But in this case, it is fair.  Because this is how your power feels to my mind, Rey.   This is how you tempt me.  Sleeping down the hall from me.  Just waiting for me.   Turnabout is fair play, my lady.”

 

“Ben, please—“ she implores him to reconsider.

 

He smiles with satisfaction.  “Oh, yes, I intend to please,” he promises as he intercepts her.  He’s kissing her again with roving hands that gather up her nightgown and hike it higher.  He breaks the kiss and tosses it up and over her head and now she’s naked except for panties.  

 

And she’s surprised to find that she doesn’t care.  For somehow there is no self-consciousness in this moment and no shame.  Because the Dark Side emboldens you.    This is a safe place where no one judges and everything is okay.   That’s part of the lure of Darkness, for anything goes.   Acceptance rules the day and corruption is encouraged.  Submission is welcomed.  Here, there are no regrets and it’s okay if you lower your standards.  Or just outright reject your standards.  Do as you please in the moment.   For on the Dark Side, there are no expectations to meet. 

 

Ben spins her around and then they tumble back onto his bed.  Darth Vader’s bed.  And that’s when Rey’s mind dissolves again into the Force.  She no longer knows what Ben does to her, for her mind is in the Force now. 

 

_This is where a Sith lord bereft of his beloved pines in the night.  Here in this bed he cries out her name as he gives in to the one bodily pleasure left to his ruined self.  There will never be another woman for him.  So he stares at her portrait and gives in to his temptation.  Fantasizing that his love might still be in his arms, that she might be the warmth that sheaths him in the night before she snuggles and falls asleep in his arms._

 

_He has one true regret and she is it.  The children he can mourn, the ruined body he can adjust to, but the loss of his Padme is a hurt that never heals.  And so her memory looms over him in his bedchamber by design.  Both a torment and a comfort.  A regret and a blessing.  Since he was nine years old, he has loved her.  She was part big sister and part surrogate mother at the beginning.  And then she was a lover, an equal and a confidante later on.  And now she haunts him.  She is why he can never completely leave his old self behind.  Because she would not have cried out the name Darth Vader in bliss.  Ani . . . it was always Ani._

 

Rey blinks back to the present and Kylo is on top of her now.  Their clothes are off and his body covers hers.  He is staring down at her.  “What did you see?” Ben demands. 

 

She cups his face with her hands, staring back at his strange yellow eyes.  She has seen those eyes before in another face.  She knows what they mean.  And she’s beginning to understand all the hurt and hate that lies behind them.  The details of Ben’s past are mostly still a mystery, but the suffering is a truth she now recognizes.  It doesn’t frighten her.  It makes her pity Ben.  And want to help him. 

 

“Rey, tell me what you saw.  Please!”

 

“I saw him,” she pants out.  “Here in this bed.  He was longing for her.”

 

“Tell me more . . . please, Rey.”

 

“He missed her.  He could never put her behind him.”  And that is what has touched Rey deeply.  How a man history reveals to be fearsome and cruel could love a woman so much.   Is it love or an obsession?  Is he angry that she died or is he sad that she is gone?  Or both?   Rey of Jakku knows nothing of love.  But she wishes that a man could love her the way Darth Vader had loved his Padme.   She wonders what it would be like to be loved like that.

 

Yes, she should do this, Rey thinks.  Her girlish idealized dreams of sex and love are probably foolish anyway.  Real life is never as romantic as you want it to be.   Tonight should be with Ben.  Ben who she likes and trusts.  Ben who takes care of her and says that he wants her.  Ben who is lonely and hurt too.  It’s not love, but it’s the next best thing.  And maybe one day it will be love.

 

Ben is staring down at her with near worship in his eyes and Rey knows it’s for her Force power and not for herself.  For if this man loves anything, it’s the Force.  But just for tonight, she’s willing to pretend.  She will make believe that they are married and they love each other, that this is true and good.  Because then it will mean something.   Rey wants tonight to mean something, even if it’s only a fantasy. 

 

“Be my Darth Vader,” she whispers huskily.  “Ben, love me like Darth Vader loved his wife.”

 

He blinks at her in surprise.  Then demands hoarsely, “Call me him.  Yes—call me him!”

 

She nods mutely and he captures her mouth again for a long kiss.  Rey can feel him hot and hard as he grinds into her.  Ben’s weight presses down on her and she revels in the feel of him.  This is scary and exciting and amazing all at the same time.  And when his mouth moves to suck at her neck, she gasps out, “Oh, Lord Vader . . . yes . . . ”

 

This must excite him, for he is all over her in an instant.  His hands and his lips tease her relentlessly.  Between the mental spell of his power and the physical seduction of his body, Rey is undone.  Legs spread wide and wet with wanting.  Ready for what comes next even as she fears it.  There are times in life when a woman has to allow herself to be vulnerable.  Rey summons her courage now.  This might be the worst decision of her life but in the moment she doesn’t care.  Because who thinks clearly in the throes of passion naked in the arms of a handsome man.  Tucked away on an uninhabited world in a secret gothic castle in the bed of Darth Vader.  Enraptured by the Dark Side, moved by a pair of beseeching yellow eyes, and bewitched by the lament of a long dead, lovelorn Sith. 

 

“Tell me you want this, Rey,” Ben urges.

 

“Yes, yes,” she sighs.  She is not turning back now.

 

He positions himself and asks again, “Tell me again that you want this—“

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

And that’s all he needs to hear before he thrusts in hard. 

 

“OH!” Rey hisses in pain.  He’s so big and it’s her first time.  Ready though she is, still her body stretches and bleeds to accommodate him. 

 

Realization dawns on him.  “Oh my Gods, it’s your first time, isn’t it?”

 

Of course, it is.  She’s nineteen-year-old Rey of Jakku and she’s never done anything other than starve and scavenge on Jakku until she met this man who saved her from the First Order, taught her the Force and gave her a first kiss.  She’s not worldly Padme Amidala who had boyfriends before Anakin Skywalker came along.   She’s an innocent castoff who has never been valued by anyone until she met Ben Solo.  She has clung to her virginity for years even though selling it would have saved her from hunger many times over.  It wasn’t for sale because she wanted it to mean something.   To be a gift freely given and not a crass transaction. 

 

“Are you okay?”  Ben is concerned.   His eyes are brown now and searching hers.  “Do we need to stop?”

 

“No . . . no, I’m okay,” she tells him as she swallows hard.  After a long moment, her body adjusts.  And now the throbbing feel of him inside is exciting and not scary.  “Don’t stop,” she urges.  “Let’s do this.”

 

Satisfied, he starts to move.  Slowly at first, but then pumping into her with a gentle friction that is indescribable.  This is what she has read about on the holonet.  Fantasized about on lonely nights.  And it is everything it promised it would be.  Oh, Gods, this man feels so good inside her.  Nothing hurts now and it’s like her body was made for this.  And as he picks up the pace and thrusts harder and deeper she cannot help but move herself.  Matching his rhythm with her own.  Yes, this is heaven.  This is what Darth Vader had remembered and craved.  This is what the poets write about, what the pop songs sing stupid euphemisms about, and what has inspired great art through the ages. 

 

He is pounding away and she lifts to tilt her hips and that is all she needs to feel the intense pleasure that is the gift to every woman.  He keeps up his assault on her body and it is just what she wants.  Yes, right there.  And now she is dissolving into pleasure, her mind melting into oblivion as her body shudders and quakes.  “YES!” she cries out her ecstatic pleasure.  Screaming out too in the Force.  YES!  YES!

 

Ben is transfixed.  Holding still as his body pumps hard into hers and his face contorts with ultimate pleasure.  “Rey!  Oh, Rey!” he groans his own guttural satisfaction.  “I didn’t know!”  His eyes are wide and wild as he gazes down on her with wonder.  “Oh, Gods, you are the Light!  How I love the Light!” 

 

He collapses on her.  Holding her fast with a possessiveness she revels in.  For this is the belonging she has longed for.  “Rey, you are mine!” he declares.   “Promise me that you will stay with me and be mine.”

 

And this is what she needs to hear.  That after she has surrendered her body, she is still wanted.  Still valued.  For women’s bodies are a fungible thing, she knows from watching from afar.  Too old, too thin, too fat, too ugly, too whatever.  Upon women is heaped the scorn of the world, it seems.  And only when sex combines with feeling do things begin to change.  Only when you matter for more than your body and your beauty are you truly valued as a woman.   And this abandoned girl needs desperately to feel valued.  “Yes, Ben.  I am yours.”

 

“You can never leave me!” he orders.  “You are mine, Rey.  Only ever mine!”

 

“Only yours,” Rey sighs happily.  Because, yes, what they did together tonight had meant something to him.  Like she had wanted all along.  And the experience had been everything she hoped it might be.


	9. Chapter 9

Of all the things Kylo had expected might happen when he took Rey to bed, he had not expected this.  But now that he knows what it feels like to be buried deep within in her willing body, he will never get enough.   Already, he craves again the feel of her flutters and shudders as Rey finds her pleasure, her intense connection to the Force sending shockwaves of healing Light washing over him.   For those few precious seconds, Kylo Ren had been bathed clean of his sins.  Shameful as it is, he has needed this reconciliation with the Light.

 

It had been intoxicating. Overwhelming. Liberating.  

 

Addicting.

 

Kylo’s mind works quickly through the implications of his discovery. How there might be no limits to his Dark power if he could regularly return to Rey’s arms for communion with the Light.   How he might be the ultimate Sith by day if he could secretly worship her Light by night. His power combining with hers to be unstoppable. 

 

He knows from experience that the darker his deeds, the stronger is his call to the Light.   The war has entered a new and especially brutal phase of late.   He will have need of Rey’s Light if he is to do what needs to be done to win his war.   Lying awake in the afterglow, he plots that Rey will be the crutch upon which he will lean his many upcoming misdeeds.

 

Yes, he thinks as he gazes upon the beauty curled up at his side, Rey is the key to it all.  Her sweet nature and winning smile are the cure for his longtime loneliness.  His padawan’s eager determination is the distraction he needs from his stress and burnout.   And her nubile, willing body filled with Light makes her the enabler for his Darkness.   All of this, and she calls him Darth Vader.  Gods, this woman is perfect for him. 

 

Staring at her with lovestruck awe, Kylo almost confesses everything that first night.  He's moved by her Light and feeling ready to unburden himself of the truth.  He's a Sith and he's a Skywalker so family secrets come with the territory.  But he wants to share them with Rey.  For here, alone with her in his grandfather's castle, away from the war and without his uniform and mask, it's like he's a different person.  There is the Sith Kylo Ren who plots to rule the galaxy.  He is a man who does not hesitate and shows no mercy in pursuit of his Dark ambitions.  And then there is the man Ben Solo who wants to connect to someone in a way other than command and subjugation.  He is a man who loves the Force and wants to share it.  And Dark though he may be, still he reveres the Light.  Kylo has almost worked up the nerve to bare his soul and reveal his full self when Rey falls asleep and the moment is lost.

 

Sex has a way of accelerating a relationship.  Because once you are comfortable naked around each other, you tend to drop your guard in other ways too.  It turns out that physical intimacy is far easier for each of them than emotional intimacy.  But little by little, it creeps in.  Kylo doesn’t push for Rey’s confidences, and she doesn’t push for his.   Some things are hard to put into words and some things are best left unsaid.  And so sometimes they show each other memories rather than speak them aloud.  But slowly over time, whether its pillow talk or via their minds merged with the Force, they each unburden themselves. 

 

Maybe it’s a rationalization, but Kylo decides that it is a good thing that he can't talk to Rey about the First Order.  Because it makes them discuss other things.   Mostly, he and Rey talk about the Force.  But when it’s not Force, it’s the past. 

 

They are both so trapped by their past.

 

He asks Rey to tell him about Jakku.   So she tells him of the ships graveyard. Of the glory of the Imperial Navy slowly rotting over decades in the desert sun.   How she had explored the giant wrecks one at a time for months, wandering darkened halls that once had housed thousands.  She tells him about the mummified downed X-wing pilots entombed in their cockpits.   About the still-live but unstable munitions that would explode from time to time without warning.   About the rival scavengers who would stalk her daily, hoping to seize her find and claim it for their own.  Survival is a ruthless game and you play to win, Rey tells him.

 

Kylo marvels at her ingenuity.  How she built a speeder bike entirely out of scavenged parts.  How she reengineered an old flight simulator used for training that she found in the star destroyer wreck.  How she made a home out of a downed AT-AT.  Hers was a make-shift, repurposed world where necessity was the mother of invention.  But despite all that scarcity, Rey still doesn’t seem to prize material possessions.  She enjoys her new clothes, he knows.  But when Kylo asks what she likes best about his castle, she tells him running water and plumbing.  That’s a sobering response. 

 

Rey talks mostly about the daily struggle for portions and water.   She complains bitterly about some guy Unkar Plutt at the trading post who was a notorious cheat.  Only in passing does she speak of the loneliness that constantly threatened to consume her.  And she never acknowledges the waiting. Endless waiting for a faithless family who never came.  Rey was betrayed first at her abandonment and then daily by the unfulfilled promise to return.  So trust will always be hard for Rey of Jakku.  It worries him for how she will react when one day she learns the truth of Kylo Ren.

 

They are in each other’s arms late one night when he asks, “How did you survive alone all those years on Jakku?”  He still can’t wrap his head around how bleak her existence was for so long.

 

The answer is simple, Rey tells him. "Because I was afraid to die."

 

"No.  That may be true, but it's not that,” Kylo responds as he pulls her closer.  “You survived for me, Rey.  For this."  More and more, Kylo wonders whether it was destiny that brought them together.   Because they are a very improbable pair.

 

“This is the only exercise I get these days,” Rey complains as she rolls over on top of him for round two of the night. “I'm getting soft sitting around all day.”  And that's not precisely true.  Rey has filled out to look more normal now with regular meals.  But she is far from robust.

 

“I like you soft,” he tells her as he reaches over to run an appreciative hand over her ass. 

 

Rey seems to accept his vague explanations that he runs a business.  She doesn't ever ask for specifics.  At first that puzzles him, maybe even disappointments him.  But he reconsiders as he learns in more detail how impoverished Jakku is.  It is a world with a largely bartered economy, plagued by crime.   And Rey is a girl who has never even owned a real credit.  She has probably never come into contact with a legitimate business, let alone the type of big business conglomerate she apparently believes he runs.  So Kylo won't hold it against Rey that she hasn't asked for his annual report or asked to attend a stockholders' meeting.   She’s clueless about these things.

 

He knows that many--including his own mother--might privately disdain Rey's lack of sophistication and education.  But Kylo doesn't.  He's rubbed shoulders with enough elites in his life to recognize that education does not mean intelligence.  And he admires Rey's street smarts and grit.  She embodies the spirit of the downtrodden Outer Rim that the First Order champions.   Let the Core Worlds have their universities and cultural elites with grandiose ideals and commitments to vague abstractions.  Kylo Ren a leader who gets things done.  A man of action, not of talk.  That’s why he lets Hux give the speeches.  In Rey, Kylo sees a kindred spirit.  He might be a prince of Alderaan and a Skywalker scion, but he's also somewhat of a self-made man himself, having turned his back on the easy path offered by his family connections and the mantle of the Jedi.  Fleeing it all and leaving his formal schooling behind as a teen to plot his own future with Snoke.   

 

And besides, his family tree is not exactly bluebloods.  His father is a smuggler and his mother’s claim to royalty is through adoption.  His grandfather was born a slave before he rose to rule the galaxy, Kylo reminds himself.   The lesson there is clear:  it’s not who you are, but where you are going that matters.    Certainly, Kylo would fault someone who lacks ambition.  But he would never fault someone like Rey who lacks opportunity.   

 

It’s not all talk of Jakku, for Kylo too shares his past.  A lot of his past.  It’s a no-names retelling, of course, but the details of his family’s dysfunction are all the truth.  Growing up, young Ben Solo had every material advantage he could ever want, but little actual attention.  He tells Rey how estranged he had felt from his busy mother slavishly committed to her many pet causes.  How needy he had been for the absent father whose wanderlust and penchant for criminal activities kept him mostly away.   With the vantage point of an adult, Kylo now blames it all on his parent’s bad marriage.  Whatever spark had ignited on the first Death Star had long since burnt out in the humdrum routine of domestic reality.   When the Rebellion won, it revealed that his parents had little in common beyond their war.   So his mother buried herself in committees and cloaked herself in sharp tongued smugness.   And his father disappeared for long stretches, worming his way back in every now and then with a practiced charm that had grown stale in middle age.   The pattern had repeated itself again and again: his unreliable father would be gone for months, show up to fight with his de facto single mother and borrow credits, then disappear again.  Little Ben Solo tended to get lost in the shuffle.  He was one more task for his mother to schedule in and one more responsibility for his father to runaway from.

 

I retreated into my own world, he tells Rey, as he describes his years long boyhood obsession with Clone Wars history.   Young Ben Solo had made heroes of the historical figures he studied as he immersed himself in the minutiae of the political maneuvering that had led to the great conflict.  At first, his family had encouraged his interest.  No doubt his Rebellion veteran parents had assumed that he would side with the Old Republic.  Only he didn’t.  Ultimately, his youthful knowledge of the Clone Wars formed the basis for all his current political views, Kylo tells Rey.  From a tender age, he has had a jaded view of the Old Republic and a dismissive attitude towards democracy in general.   It’s why I am backing the First Order, he tells Rey.  And that’s the closest they ever come to discussing politics.

 

His favorite Clone Wars hero was his Jedi grandfather Anakin Skywalker.  I used to talk about him all the time, he tells Rey.  How Anakin Skywalker was a slave who was bought and freed as a boy by the Jedi.  How he was also the youngest ever member of the Jedi High Council.   I was too young to notice how uncomfortable everyone became.  And I believed the lie they told me again and again that Darth Vader had betrayed and murdered my grandfather.  It was many years before I learned that the Jedi Anakin Skywalker was the Sith Darth Vader. 

 

Kylo is bitter as he explains to Rey how his boyish hero worship had just compounded the significance of the lie.  Because in the end, once the truth came out, he found even more to admire about Darth Vader than he had ever thought possible.   It's why they disowned me, he confesses to Rey.  My Jedi uncle and my Rebellion parents hated Darth Vader.  They cannot accept a son who wants to fulfill his legacy.  And they cannot tolerate a son who is Sith. 

 

In a way, my family abandoned me too, he explains to Rey.  His circumstances and the consequences are quite different from hers.  But the hurt is the same.  Kylo looks deep into Rey’s eyes as he tells her that he feels her pain.  He too has been rejected by those closest to him.  And, of course, Rey gets it.  Because she gets him.  Sometimes, you just have to choose happiness, Rey advises.   It’s a lesson she learned from her hardships on Jakku: you don’t just survive physically, you survive mentally as well.  Rey leans in to kiss him gently.  Ben, do what you need to do to be happy, she whispers.   He nods and tells her that she is all he needs to be happy.  And it’s the truth.

 

I grew up learning about the Force, he explains.  Everyone just assumed that I would become a Jedi.  No one listened when I told them I wanted to study history.  His family nagged that the Force was a gift, but growing up it felt more like a curse.  So he became a lackluster, reluctant padawan who complained and ran away.  But time and again, he was dragged back to his uncle for more Jedi training.   Until one day, after a chance meeting with a Sith, young Ben Solo had rebelled and ran headlong for the Dark Side.

 

It was only when I became a Sith that I truly understood the Force, he explains to Rey.  When you strip away all the dogma and the artificial rules imposed by the Jedi, the Force is quite simple.  It’s very intuitive and instinctive.  And it is every bit as magical and mysterious as laypeople believe.     

 

Amid all this intimacy, two months become six months and neither of them notice.  He and Rey are far too wrapped up in each other.   Mustafar has long been his escape.  Now, more so than ever.   Kylo is back every chance he gets.   Shedding the trappings of Kylo Ren in his shuttle and marching into his castle as Ben Solo. 

 

He can’t get enough of Rey.  And some nights, he can’t wait to get her into bed.  Tonight, he’s got her bent face first over the tabletop.  It's a good thing her boots have heels because otherwise her feet wouldn't touch the ground at this height.  For the table, like most everything else in Vader's castle was made for his grandfather’s unique comfort.  Kylo has never changed a thing and, well, he's not exactly short himself. 

 

Kylo pushes up her skirt to reveal her panties. "Oh, I like these ones," he grins.  The panties are basic black but secured with a ribbon tied on each hip.  One quick tug on each side and they slip away.  And now Kylo is free to fondle Rey shamelessly.  "What do you want, Rey. Tell me."   Tonight, he wants his girl to beg for it.   

 

Rey moans under his touch.  "Ben . . . "

 

"Yes?"   He's got fingers inside now.  Feeling the slick damp that responds to his touch.  They’ve done this enough times that he knows just what Rey likes.

 

"Yes, Ben, yes."

 

"Yes, what?"  He loves it when she talks dirty to him.   It’s almost as good as Vader talk.

 

"I want you, Ben," she slurs. She’s been pouring wine with the Force again tonight.  "Please--"

 

"Please what?  Tell me."

 

"Put it in me," Rey moans testily.  She's not exactly begging.  It sounds more like an order.

 

"Better," he approves with a chuckle.    And now he's rubbing and teasing her with more than just his hands.  "But try again, scavenger."

 

"Just fuck me," she complains. "Shut up and fuck me, Master." 

 

"As you wish, Padawan."   Kylo hastens to comply.   And now he is holding her hips with both hands as he pumps into her.  She is pinned and submissive.  It makes him feel so dominant and controlling.  So Sith.  There is no rhythm, this is just a frenzy of aggressive thrusts.  "Don't let me hurt you," he growls and maybe that sentiment is not very Sith.   But it's true.   Rey is precious to him and he will not abuse her. 

 

Rey just moans in response.  "More, Master.  Harder."  Gods bless this woman, he thinks, and then he devotes himself to the task.  And as her pleasure crests and her Light blazes, he too loses himself to oblivion.

 

"Oh, Rey," he sighs aloud. "You are addicting.  Never leave me, Rey."   This comes out a bit like a command and a bit like he's begging. 

 

"Never, Ben," she promises.  "You are everything I could ever want."  And in the Force he feels the sincerity of her words. 

 

Why do people connect and fall hard?   What is the sweet spot of dating where chemistry becomes intimacy?  Where lust becomes trust?  Who knows.  Every time Kylo thinks that he and Rey are opposites who attract, he finds another way in which their experiences are similar.  And every time he thinks they are alike, he stumbles over a way in which their viewpoints are in complete opposition.  And looming in the background is the ever-present lie of who he is. 

 

Is it a lie?  Of course.  But Kylo tells himself that Rey knows more of the truth of Kylo Ren than anyone other than his family and his Master.   And that’s accurate.  For everything he tells Rey is the truth, from a certain point of view.  It’s just not the whole truth.  But what they do share is achingly honest.  Embarrassing even,  at times.  He's got issues, she's got issues.  He won't judge if she won't judge.  But he's worried that in the end she will judge, and that's what keeps him from divulging all. 

 

Quite simply, he is terrified to lose her.

 

And so, he stakes his claim on her heart every chance he gets.  I want you, I want you, never leave me, you belong to me.  He tells Rey this over and over.  Intentionally claiming the unwanted, abandoned girl for his own.  Yes, he’s a possessive Sith, but it’s more.  It’s the attention Rey never received and the approval she so desperately wants.  He is part big brother, part father and part lover all combined in a mess of heady neediness.  Kylo will gladly play all the roles she wants and show her all the ways that a man can protect, care for and value a woman.  Because as far as he is concerned, Rey is the most precious thing in the universe.  Irreplaceable at any cost. 

 

Rey reciprocates, giving him what he needs when she lets him uncloak his power and be himself.  Be Sith for me, my Master.  She whispers this in his ear and it’s all the foreplay he needs.  And then he watches his Rey of Light be seduced under the spell of his Darkness.  It’s a Dark fantasy come to life to watch her writhe from just the feel of his power and to hear her moan out Darth Ben as he thrusts away.  She indulges his need to dominate and to control, letting him hold her down with the Force as ruthlessly he takes his pleasure.  By day he fights to rule the galaxy, but at night he rules her.  Or does she rule him?  He’s not sure.  For Rey glories in her submission until she finds her Light and now their roles reverse and he is the one who gladly submits.   Here is the penitent sinner begging for mercy and forgiveness from his desert priestess of the Light.   

 

Secretly, he lives for this, for the mingling of their power.  His Dark ruling her Light and then humbled by it.   Is this the prophesy of balance long foretold to be the legacy of the Skywalkers?  He doesn’t know.  All he knows is that he wants more.  There will never be enough for this Sith.  That’s what fuels his ambition and his relentless drive. 

 

Their connection is physical, emotional and metaphysical all at the same time.  Sex and the Force combine with the hidden desires of two lost souls into a contagion of passion.   All concealed from prying eyes and sheltered by the absolute privacy of Darth Vader’s castle.  Maybe it’s not a healthy relationship, but they don’t have to justify it to anyone but themselves.   They don’t need to put a name to it, either.  She’s not his girlfriend, he’s not her lover.  But in a very short time, they become essential to one another in a confused rush of co-dependency.      

 

And whatever.  It works for them.  Because, let’s face it, when your life goals include killing your entire family, you are not good at relationships.  And when everyone in your family ends up divorced, dead or a Jedi priest, you haven’t been raised seeing good relationships.   And when your girl is a feral orphan who grew up squatting in battle wreckage, she’s not good at relationships either.  Because she’s never even seen a good relationship.   And you are the first and only person who has ever given her attention, and so she worships you.  And, really, don’t all Siths want to be worshipped?  Yeah, it’s fucked up.  But whatever.  This is Vader’s castle where his grandfather would ruminate on being burned alive and dismembered.  So in the hierarchy of fucked up stuff that has occurred here, Kylo tells himself that he and Rey are sort of minor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 and Chapter 9 were split--too long for one read.
> 
> This story has my usual version of Sith "sexual healing" that is missing from You Need a Teacher. (That story is sort of a one-off when it comes to ideas about the Force.) We're back to my usual stuff, including the idea that Sith fall hard and fall fast and, of course, fall forever. Gotta love those obsessive, possessive Sith. 
> 
> You all know what's coming, right? Brace yourself for what's coming.


	10. Chapter 10

“Where are we going?” Rey has been bursting with curiosity and excitement ever since Ben had told her to get dressed because they are leaving for the day.  “Come on, tell me where we’re going,” she cajoles. 

 

But Ben is his usual cagey self as together they walk to the castle’s landing platform.  “You’ll see.”  He’s especially smug and it’s got her wondering.  “And don’t even try to get in my head,” he warns.  “I won’t let you in.  You’ll spoil the surprise.”

 

She’s about to give him a smart retort when the sight of the ship waiting on the platform makes her stop in her tracks.  “What is that?” she looks to Ben.  “Where’s your shuttle?”   This ship looks like something a mid-level executive from the Mid-Rim might fly.  Sedate, nondescript and completely boring.  It’s very not-Ben. 

 

“Is this a loaner?  Did you crash the shuttle?”  Rey is worried now.  She turns back to Ben and plants her hands on her hips.  “You didn’t tell me you crashed your shuttle.”

 

“Are you worried about me crashing or the shuttle crashing?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“Both.  I like that shuttle.”

 

Ben laughs.  “Then relax, because the shuttle is fine.  We just can’t take it where we’re going.”

 

She’s confused.  “Why not?”

 

“It will attract too much attention.  Plus, it violates all the armament treaties.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Rey remembers.  “The ventral cannon.”  She gives the new ship a long look.  “This one sure doesn’t violate any treaties.  It looks very . . . uh . . . legal.”  Ben smirks at this.  Still, she adds, “It’s not like you’re the invading First Order, Ben.  Do you really think you’d get busted for the cannon?”    

 

He shrugs.  “Rey, with all that’s going on right now, it would be best if we attract less attention.  And this ship is not as sedate as she seems.  She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.  I had a lot of special modifications made.”  He waves her up the ramp, telling her, “This is the party shuttle.  My men use it for entertaining clients . . . retreats . . . that sort of thing.” 

 

Ben is sounding deliberately vague but Rey decides not to question it as soon as she starts looking around.  The shuttle looks like one giant liquor cabinet crossed with a man cave.  It comes complete with a dejarik table, she notes.  “Entertaining clients.  Yes, I see.”  Rey tugs at a pink ribbon that is stuck between two seats and the ribbon keeps coming.  It turns out to be the strap from a pink bra.  Rey dangles it between two fingers and turns to Ben for an explanation.

 

He grins sheepishly.  “That's probably not the worst of it, Rey.”

 

“Yes, I'm sure,” she says with raised eyebrows.  “Boys will be boys?” 

 

Again, he’s vague.  “Something like that.  My men work hard and they need to blow off steam now and then.”   Rey nods and accepts this answer.   She won’t ask any more questions.  The least said about what goes on in this ship, the better, Rey thinks. 

 

Once they are up and off to hyperspace, Rey sees that Kylo is right.  This sedate looking craft is fast.  Very, very fast.  It’s barely two hours to their destination. 

 

When they exit hyperspace, Rey sees an urban planet with concentric circular patterns and gridmarkings visible even from space.  “Oooooh,” Rey says with awe.  Then she claps her hands like a little girl.  Because even Rey of Jakku knows what planet this is.  “Coruscant!”  She looks over at Ben and beams. 

 

“Welcome to the Eternal City, Rey,” Ben tells her, looking very satisfied by her reaction.  “It’s the bright center of the known universe.”

 

They don’t land at the famed giant spaceport with its reputation for hours of delay and long lines.  Instead, they land atop one of the exclusive apartment buildings with its own private landing pad. 

 

“Fancy,” Rey gives a low whistle. 

 

Ben tells her that they are borrowing the platform for the day from a friend.  And sure enough, as the ship touches down out walks a mountain of a man with a toddler girl perched on his shoulders.  He’s not much above average height, but that’s where the normalcy ends.  This man looks like a cartoon superhero with his thickly muscled arms and chest.  He’s dressed casually in a t-shirt and pants, but his short blonde buzzcut and pants tucked into boots give him the unmistakable stamp of a military man.   And sure enough, as he strides forward and extends his arm to shake hands with Ben, Rey sees a tattoo of the First Order medallion on his bulging upper bicep. 

 

Rey frowns and says nothing.  At her side, Ben leans in.  “Nestor is a friend for many years, Rey.  We can trust him.”

 

“Boss,” the man nods at Ben but then he looks his fill at Rey.  He’s openly curious.

 

“Thanks for letting us land.  Nestor, this is Rey.”  Rey dutifully nods and manages a weak smile.  Ben turns back to tell his friend, “We won’t be long.  A few hours max.  Rey’s never seen this world.”

 

Nestor nods.  “Well, go pick out your palace or whatever you’re doing.”  Then he looks Ben up and down critically. “Are you armed, Boss?  You don’t look armed.”

 

“I’m always armed,” Ben responds in a tone that shuts down further questions. 

 

But his friend looks dubious.  “You might need more than the Force, Boss.  I’d tag along to be your bodyguard but three’s a crowd.”  Nestor winks at her and Rey can’t help but smile.  This Nestor guy is very likable.  Ben just smirks and grabs her hand to lead her inside to the elevator.  The little girl waves bye as Nestor calls after them, “Have fun kids.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” 

 

Five minutes later, she and Ben are on the town at Coruscant.  “I love this world,” Ben says as they weave through the crowd.  There’s always a crowd on Coruscant.  It’s the city-world that never sleeps and the crossroads of the galaxy.  Level upon level of cityscape stretches clear across the surface of the entire planet.  There are people everywhere.  “I was born here and someday I will live here.”

 

“Why not now?” Rey asks.  “Is it too expensive?”  She’s heard that Coruscant is very expensive.

 

Ben laughs.  “No, that’s not it.  The time is not yet right.  And this is still a New Republic world.”

 

Rey frowns.  “Does that mean your friends in the First Order wouldn't want you to live here?  Or that you wouldn’t be welcome here?”

 

“Both.”

 

“Oh.  But how come your friend lives here?” Rey asks.  “I saw that tattoo on his arm.  I know he’s First Order.”

 

“Nestor keeps a low profile,” Ben explains.  “And Coruscant is pretty open.  Money talks on this world.  They don’t care what your politics are so long as you pay your bills and grease the right palms.”

 

“And you don’t want to pay the bribes?” Rey surmises.

 

“No, I don’t.  And I also don’t want to keep a low profile, Rey.  Let’s just say that when I live here, everyone will know that I live here.” 

 

“Oh.”  And that seems like an odd comment from a man who shows up no entries when you google him on the holonet.  Rey is about to say that when Ben announces that they have reached their destination.

 

They stop and Rey looks across at a very large, ornate looking building complex.  “We’re going to a museum?” she asks.  “The Peoples’ Museum of the New Republic,” she reads aloud the carved name on the edifice.  “Dedicated to Freedom and Justice for All in the Galaxy.”

 

At her side, Ben rolls his eyes and looks unimpressed.  “It’s a museum now,” he tells her.  “But before that, this was the Imperial Palace.  And before that, it was the site of the main Jedi Temple.” 

 

“Oh.”  Rey turns back to Ben.  She’s intrigued.  “So old Emperor Palpatine lived here?” 

 

He nods.  “What do you think?  Would you want to live here?”

 

Rey considers a long moment, pursing her lips.  “It’s big,” she decides.  “It’s okay, I guess.  But it’s not you, Ben.  It needs more lava.”

 

He laughs out loud.  “So, you don’t think I should live here if I conquer the galaxy?” he teases. 

 

“Nah.  Knock it down and build something new, Emperor Ben.”

 

He nods at this as if he’s actually taking her remark seriously.  “You’re right, Rey.  I would want to leave the past behind anyway.  Do you want to go in?” he asks her without enthusiasm.

 

“No,” Rey decides.  “I want to be outdoors for a change.  Come on, let’s go explore.” 

 

She tugs at his sleeve and they are off down the broad esplanades and boulevards of Coruscant’s Upper Level.  They wander hand in hand through the shopping district and like everyone else Rey stares at the fanciful windows showcasing pricey fashions and jewelry.  Along the way, they pass the department store where Vanee had purchased all of Rey’s clothes.  She nudges Ben and tells him about the grey and pink boxes.   Ben reveals that neither he nor Vanee had any idea where to buy women’s clothes.  But Ben had remembered his mother shopping there as a kid, so it seemed like a safe bet. 

 

Next up is the entertainment district.  Even in broad daylight, it seems crowded but Ben assures her that it only really comes alive at night.  But this looks like a nice part of town, Rey observes.  She had always thought that the Coruscant nightlife was all drugs and sleaze.  You’re thinking of the Underworld down in the Lower Levels, Ben tells her.  That’s very different.  And now her interest is piqued.  Can we go there, Rey asks.  No is his firm answer.

 

The entertainment district is not far from the government offices.  Ben asks if she wants to go see the Senate buildings.  Rey is ambivalent and he seems pleased.  Jakku is one of the Rim worlds without Senate representation, so Rey has never even voted.  And she’s not much for politics, she reminds Ben.

 

Mostly, Rey just wants to walk around and see all the people.  Everywhere milling about are races and species from hundreds of worlds.  Jakku had a mix of beings, but it was nothing like this.  Rey could spend all day just wandering and people watching.  “It looks just like on the holonet,” Rey observes happily as they head back for the ship.  “I can see why you want to live here.”

 

Ben glances over at her. “You’re enjoying being out of the castle, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes,” she admits.   “Lava, lava and more lava is kind of boring after a while.  Like sand, sand and more sand back on Jakku.”  Rey raises her face to feel the pale Coruscant afternoon sun.  She sighs happily.  “I never used to spend much time indoors.  At this rate, I’m going to be as pale as you are,” Rey teases. 

 

“Would you rather live someplace else, Rey?”  Ben sounds serious as he asks this question and Rey stops to consider.  “It would have to be a First Order world.  Someplace private and secure.  Not here, Rey.  Not yet.”

 

She shrugs.  “Mustafar is fine.  I lived in an AT-AT, remember?  I’m not picky.  I can be happy anywhere you are, Ben.”  

 

They exchange smiles and Ben leans in to tell her, “I think I like taking you on fieldtrips.” He throws an arm over her shoulders as they stroll back, seemingly an anonymous young couple lost amid the crowd. 

 

“Does that mean we can do this again?” Rey asks hopefully. 

 

“Yes.  Definitely.  I want to show you the galaxy, Rey.”

 

When they arrive back at the rooftop landing pad, Ben excuses himself for a few minutes. “Nestor and I need to talk business.  We won’t be long.”   As he disappears into the ship with his friend, up walks a very pretty, very pregnant blonde woman.  She has the toddler girl Rey met earlier in her arms. 

 

“Hi.  I’m Cesi, Nestor’s wife,” the blonde woman introduces herself.  “You must be Rey.  Can I offer you some water or something?  When they talk business, it’s never short.”

 

“Sure,” Rey answers and she follows Cesi inside and into the adjacent apartment. 

 

“I'm sorry this place is such a mess,” her hostess looks embarrassed as she sets down the child she’s hefting and surreptitiously grabs a doll off the floor.  “Nestor didn’t tell me that we would have guests.   The housekeeper is off today and my droid is broken and, well, with two little kids it's hard . . . “

 

“I think it's nice,” Rey says with sincerity as she looks around at the airy and bright apartment.  The floor is cluttered with pink toys but everything else looks straight out of a fancy magazine.   The juxtaposition is sort of charming.  “It looks like a family lives here.  I never had a family.”  Rey turns back to Cesi.  “When is your baby due?”

 

“Two months.  It's another girl. Nestor was a little disappointed even though he denies it,” Cesi volunteers.  “My husband was hoping for a boy.”

 

“How old are your other kids?”  Rey keeps making conversation.

 

“Five and almost three.  Our big girl is still at school.  She doesn’t get out until mid-afternoon.”  Cesi pats her baby belly.  “With all these girls, I haven’t seen my waistline in six years.” 

 

Rey smiles.  Pregnant women always make her smile for no reason.  Maybe it’s because baby bumps are adorable.  Or maybe it’s because they were a rare sighting on Jakku.  On her home world, poverty tends to keep families small because too many mouths to feed means everyone suffers. 

 

“Where are you from, Rey?”  As soon as the question leaves her lips, Cesi takes it back.  “Oh, uh, you don't have to answer that—I, uh, I’m sorry I asked.  Nestor told me not to ask anything.”

 

Rey answers anyway.  “I'm from Jakku in the Western Reaches.”

 

Cesi gapes.  “Wow.   Jakku as in the Battle of Jakku?”  Rey nods.  “I would never have guessed.  You don’t sound like you are from the Outer Rim.”  Cesi colors at this comment and nervously hastens to add, “Not that there’s anything wrong with having a Rim accent.   We, uh, like the Rim.”  And that makes sense if this is a First Order family, Rey thinks.  But now Cesi is really flustered.  “So, how did you meet him?”  By ‘him’, it’s clear she means Ben.  “Wait--forget I asked that.  It's none of my business.  I’m not supposed to ask anything.”

 

“It's okay,” Rey doesn’t understand all the need for secrecy since Ben had said Nestor is his friend.  And this family is doing them a favor, after all.   “I was in trouble and he helped me.”

 

“He helped you??”  Cesi blinks at this answer.  “Really?”

 

“Yeah. I suppose it’s not a very exciting story.”  But it’s far less awkward than telling this First Order wife that she met Ben unconscious in a First Order cell.  “We’ve been living together ever since.”

 

“Oh.”  Cesi’s eyes widen.  “So, it’s serious then?”

 

“Uhhmmm. . . “ Rey doesn’t know how to answer this question.  “I don’t really know,” she admits.  Then she decides, “I’m too young for anything to be serious.”

 

“How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking.”

 

“Nineteen.”

 

“Nineteen?”  Cesi echoes as she frowns a little at this answer.  Then she changes the topic.  “I like that dress, Rey.  It looks really nice on you.  And that color is very on trend this season.”

 

Rey brightens at this.  “Thanks.  Ben bought me a lot of clothes when I moved into his castle.  Clothes weren’t a big thing back on Jakku.  So, I sort of guessed what to buy,” Rey admits.  “I ordered it all off the holonet.  But we passed by the store today while we were out walking.”

 

“He went shopping??”

 

“We didn’t buy anything.  Mostly, we just wandered around.”

 

“Out in the open with everyone?”

 

“Er . . . yes.  It was fun.”  Rey sees the concern on Cesi’s face and she asks, “Was that wrong?  It looked like a safe area to be in . . . “

 

The blonde shakes her head and looks annoyed.  “I told Nestor he should have gone with him.  Look, Rey, we don’t know each other.  And this is none of my business and I don’t want to speak out of turn.  But you should be careful about him.”

 

Something about the way her hostess says this makes Rey concerned.  This nice woman seems awfully sincere.   There’s not an ounce of guile in Cesi.  And clearly, she knows something she’s not telling Rey.  Rey is about to start asking questions when Ben ducks his head in the door.  “Come on, Rey.  Time to go.”  The opportunity is lost.

 

On the way back home, Ben lets her takeoff and make the jump to lightspeed.  After they are in hyperspace, Rey turns to Ben.  “I like your First Order friends.  They seem like a nice family.”

 

This comment earns Rey an approving nod and a smile.  “I’ve known Nestor since I was a kid.  Sometimes it’s weird to think of him as a family man with his own kids.”  Ben sits back in his chair and looks serious and a bit nostalgic.  “We’re getting old, I guess.  Old and respectable.  I can’t believe he’s going to have three kids soon.”

 

Rey shoots Ben a look.  “For a guy who flies around in a party shuttle with stray lingerie tucked between the seats, I don’t think you’ve gotten too old or too respectable.”

 

“Nestor hates that new leg,” Ben sighs.  “He’s the guy who bled all over me a while back.  We almost lost him that night.  I didn’t see those blaster shots to freeze them in time.”

 

“I didn’t even notice his leg,” Rey admits.  “I’m glad he survived.  Otherwise, that new baby on the way would never have known her father.  Kids need their parents,” she mutters. 

 

“Especially their fathers,” Ben says bitterly.  He doesn’t have to explain and neither does she.

 

Rey looks out at the blue swirls of hyperspace for a minute.  “I wouldn’t want to be Cesi, Ben.  Married to a First Order guy with three little kids.  She must stay up nights worrying that one day he won’t come home.  Especially after what happened with his leg.”

 

Ben slants her a look.  “Life is dangerous, Rey.  You know that better than anyone.”

 

“It’s different when you have a choice of your job.  I didn’t have much of a choice.”  Rey too slumps back in her chair now, glancing over at Ben in the co-pilot’s seat.  “So, Nestor moonlights as your security, is that it?  I didn’t understand what he meant when he made that crack about being your bodyguard.”

 

Ben scoffs.  “I’m a Sith, Rey.  I don’t need a bodyguard.  I can take care of myself.  But, yes, I guess you could say that Nestor acts as security.”

 

“He must be an enlisted man, right?  I wouldn’t think that a First Order officer would need a side hussle as corporate security,” Rey muses.  “But then, I guess Coruscant is expensive.  And he’s got all those kids.”

 

Ben just smirks.  “Nestor does fine.  Don’t worry about him.”

 

She’s not.  Rey is worrying about Ben now.  “So, is your work dangerous?  Should you have a bodyguard?” she asks, thinking of Cesi’s concern about them being out in the open and her vague warning to be careful.  “These are dangerous times, you know.”

 

Ben looks amused, but he explains, “I can take care of myself.  I can stop blaster bolts, remember?  And if I can throw objects around with the Force, then I can throw people too.   Plus, I’m a good shot with a blaster.”  He thinks a moment, “Well, really I’m best with a sword.”

 

Rey blinks at this.  “You never told me that you have a sword.”

 

“I used to be a Jedi, remember?  Traditionally, the Jedi fight with swords.  So do the Sith.”

 

“Oh, yeah.”  Rey had just assumed that the laser sword part of the fairytales was probably all for show.  Plus, an ancient weapon like a sword seems no match for a good blaster at your side.  “Is yours red like Kylo Ren’s sword?” she wants to know.

 

He pauses a moment and his eyes narrow.  “No, it’s red like Darth Vader’s sword.   Red like a Sith sword.”

 

Rey smiles and shakes her head because that answer sounds very Ben.  And now a thought occurs to her.  “Do I get a sword too?”

 

“No.” 

 

“Why not?  Can I see your sword?”

 

“No.”

 

Rey pretends to pout.  “You are no fun, Ben Solo.”

 

“Sure, I am.”  Ben stands now and offers her his hand.  “Come in back,” he grins.  “We’ve got some time to kill.”

 

Rey recognizes that look in his eye.   Is he thinking what she thinks he’s thinking?  Yes, he is.  As Rey accepts his hand, he yanks her up into his arms and plants a big sloppy kiss on her.  Then Ben leans in to whisper suggestively in her ear.  “I’ll let you decide which to stuff in the seat before we leave—your bra or your panties.”

 

“Ben!” She pretends to be scandalized.  But she’s not.  It take a lot to scandalize Rey of Jakku.

 

“The party shuttle has a reputation to uphold.  Plus, it’s tradition to leave a souvenir.” 

 

“Don’t tell me anymore, Ben.  I don’t want to know how nasty those seats are.”

 

“Think of it as marking your territory—“

 

“Don’t tell me anymore!  I mean it!”

 

Ben just chuckles and whispers in her ear, “I get it.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss, Rey.”


	11. Chapter 11

Vanee knows what is going on. He's not stupid.  But he is far too discreet to say anything.  The old servant just excuses himself as soon as Kylo arrives off to Vader's old medical wing where he has lived quietly for decades.   Giving he and Rey complete privacy until morning.  

 

They take full advantage of it.  Sometimes the romance kindles over dinner.  Or snuggled together on the couch.  But rarely do they end up in her room.  It's almost always in his.  Kylo brings Rey to a peak once, twice, sometimes even three times a night.  He basks in the fleeting reconciliation with the Light that it brings.  And then savors their connection in the afterglow.  Stroking Rey’s back and fingering her soft hair as she dozes at his side.  There they sleep in Darth Vader's bed under the averted gaze of his long dead grandmother dressed as a bride.  

 

In the morning, Kylo wakes early.  Rey is almost always still asleep.  Softly snoring sometimes if she's especially tired.  Kylo lays in bed beside her with his datapads getting a start on the day.  He’s unwilling to leave her side and the homey comfort of their shared bed.  He has so little time with her.  With the war heating up, Kylo is lucky if he’s home to Mustafar more than twice a week.  Usually, it’s just for the night.

 

It is wonderful and it is awful.  Because it's all based on a lie. 

 

Well, maybe it’s more of a half-truth than a lie.  He is Ben Solo technically.  Maybe even legally still—who knows?   But long ago he ceased to consider himself to be the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo.  Those people no longer have any meaning for him.  They belong to a past he has left behind in a river of blood.  It is a strange irony that Kylo hides his face and his family from the galaxy.  But with Rey, he bares his face and shares his secrets, but he hides Kylo Ren.  

 

He can’t even argue to Rey that his lie was well intentioned because it was not.  Like most lies, it was convenient at the time.  _I am Ben Solo_ avoided the messy complicated truth that underlies the fiction.  Truths he hadn’t wanted to tell and Rey hadn’t yet been ready to hear.   That is his only explanation.  And it is weak.

 

Kylo understands more than ever why his parents had repeated to him the easy lie Ben Kenobi told his gullible young uncle long ago.   _Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father._   The words were true, from a certain point of view.  Just like _I am Ben Solo_ is true in a way.  But the intent to mislead is the same.  And so the boy Ben Solo who was lied to by people he trusted becomes Kylo Ren who in turn does the lying to someone who trusts him.  Like so many other aspects of his family, it feels like a cycle that repeats. 

 

One morning early, Vanee is walking him out to the castle landing platform and they are alone.  He and Rey have said their goodbyes in private.  Vanee gives him a searching look and then he dives right in with the confidence of a longstanding retainer.

 

“Are you ever going to tell her?”

 

Kylo looks away.  He doesn’t want to have this conversation.  But he’s not about to shut down old Vanee with a caustic remark the way he would an ordinary underling.   He has far too much respect for his grandfather’s trusted valet.  “Yes,” Kylo says gruffly with a sigh.  “Eventually.” 

 

Vanee presses his point.  “It won't get any easier the longer you wait.”

 

No, it won't.  As usual, astute old Vanee is right.  But things are too good now to mess up.  If he tells Rey that he is Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, she might hate him.   Both for the truth of the matter and for the lie that he has told her.  And then, he might lose her.

 

Lately, he mulls over this risk more than he mulls over his war.

 

None of this was supposed to happen.  Rey was supposed to die in a cell.  Maybe by his own hand.  One more victim to add to his growing tally.  But instead, he had brought her home. 

 

But even then, Kylo had other plans initially.  He was never supposed to fall for this girl.  He was never supposed to care what she thought of him.  He was going to use her for proximity to the Light under the guise of teaching.   She was to be a small discreet project who he could manipulate and control.  Stashing her forever at his castle to be his personal therapy whenever the need arose. 

 

But then her attraction had become more than just her Light.  And then her Light had become more than just her presence.  Now her Light is her pleasure and her body is his for the asking.  And now he is so wrapped up in this scavenger waif with her girlish giggle and her eyes that crinkle up when she smiles.  He can't wait to return to Mustafar to feel her Light on his mind and her body beneath his.   She bewitches him even as she renews him.  She is his confidante and his friend.  And Kylo Ren can't get enough. 

 

Plus, ever since he took Rey to Coruscant and he was reminded of Nestor’s happy domestic setup, Kylo has been wondering if he should marry Rey.  Because if Rey is important enough that he doesn’t want to lose her, then maybe he should make a commitment to keep her.   His intentions might not have been honorable at the beginning, but they certainly are now. 

 

No, Kylo thinks glumly, this was never supposed to happen.  He even says it aloud to Vanee.  "This was never supposed to happen."

 

The old man nods his understanding.  "Love always happens when you least expect it.  When you're not looking for it.  That's why it's so disarming.  It is hard to predict and precious when you find it.  Be careful, my boy, not to ruin it."

 

Love?  Is that what this is?   He’s not sure, but he worries that Vanee is right.  And that’s a mistake because he knows his Master would counsel him that love is for ordinary people.  It's not for a Sith.  Because a Sith’s first love is power.  It can never be a woman.

 

And that's part of what makes this situation so frustrating.  Not only is it all of his own making, but it is a testament to his weakness.  And that's humiliating.  Kylo tells himself that Rey is a means to manage his call to the Light.  But part of him worries that she is the problem and not the cure.  Because time with Rey is downright addicting.   Lately, the more Light he gets, the more Light he wants. 

 

Vanee speaks up again in his quiet, non-confrontational way.  "If someone tells her first, you may lose her."

 

This warning is wise, Kylo knows from bitter personal experience.  Because there can be no love where there is no trust.  And there is no trust where there are lies.  But it's more than that, he worries.  For he fears that Ben Solo may be loveable but Kylo Ren is not.  And he’s not sure what that means for he and Rey.

 

“No one knows she is here,” Kylo reminds them both.  “I will wait until the time is right.”  

 

Vanee just nods. He looks both concerned and unconvinced. 

 

Kylo is back at Mustafar later that week and he decides to take Rey to Chandrila.  The trip to Coruscant had gone so well that he wants to show Rey more of the galaxy.  One day soon, he may even give her the galaxy.

 

Chandrila is newly subjugated under First Order rule and that victory had been sweet.  It’s a Core world with a long history of left leaning consensus governments dating from before old Senator Mon Mothma.  As a staunch New Republic ally with broad and deep connections to the Resistance, Chandrila has long been a thorn in his side. 

 

Predictably, the First Order invasion had been greeted with nonviolent protests.  Kylo had solved that problem by turning his stormtroopers loose on a few crowds.  All you have to do is roll in the tanks and shoot a few people and then the crowds magically disperse.   And so despite all its righteous sanctimony, Chandrila proves to be an easy world to occupy.  Underneath all the heated rhetoric, this world is scared of him.

 

And so Kylo can’t wait to wander Chandrila incognito just for the sheer irony of it all.

 

There are no protest crowds today as he and Rey stroll through the largely deserted central city area. Rey looks a bit uneasy at the sight of all the First Order troops who patrol the streets but she's handling it okay.  She's still so afraid of his army.   That's partly why he has brought her here.  To get her a bit more comfortable with the First Order.   If he can just get her to have a more neutral view, it might be easier for her to accept him as Kylo Ren. 

 

“What's that?”  Rey points to a majestic columned building that is an obvious landmark.

 

“It's their law courts,” Kylo explains.  “Chandrila is famed for its lawyers and its law courts.   The rule of law is big on this world.” 

 

“There is no law on Jakku,” Rey tells him.  “I don't think we even had a court system.  It was mostly eye for an eye type revenge.  Disputes were settled with a blaster or a vibroblade.”

 

“That sounds like most of the Rim,” Kylo tells her with a sigh.  “That's why the First Order wants to bring law and order to its worlds.  Because without law and order, crime thrives instead of business.  And without business, there is no opportunity.  Rey, the Rim will only begin to develop once big business feels comfortable investing money.  And they will only invest money on worlds where contracts are enforceable and local government exists to protect private property and to defend citizens.” 

 

“I never thought of it like that,” Rey admits.  “Mostly, I think of the First Order as killing people.” 

 

“Well, they do that too,” Kylo has to concede.   “There is a war going on.”

 

Rey runs up the building steps and he follows.  Inside are elaborate murals dating far back into the Old Republic days.  “Oh, how pretty,” she says. 

 

It is pretty.  And stereotypically Chandrilan.  The murals depict Jedi peacekeepers, legislators and judges saving small children in the name of justice.  Kylo represses a snort.  His mother would love this sort of symbolic syrupy art.

 

After they have stood there a few minutes, a voice interrupts.  "Are you two lost?" They turn around to find a clerk of the court standing behind them.   The clerk looks them over for a moment before informing them, "Marriage licenses are down the hall on the left.  Congratulations."  Then he hurries on his way.

 

Rey giggles at this.  “He thinks we’re here to get married.  Isn’t that hilarious?”

 

Is it a joke?  Suddenly, Kylo doesn't think so.  He turns to Rey.  "Let's do it," he decides in the moment.  "Let's get married."

 

"Married?  Here?  Now?”  Rey looks askance at him. “Are you serious?  You are serious!” she accuses.  And that’s not a good start to his impromptu proposal speech.

 

"Why not?" he asks.

 

"Ummm, well why?" she counters.

 

Kylo makes his case.  "Because you're mine, Rey, and I want to make it official.  You will belong to me and I will belong to you.  Legally in all systems of the galaxy."

 

"Does that matter to you?” Rey asks.  Her skeptical face tells him it doesn’t matter to her.  “No one actually got married on Jakku.  They just shacked up together and they were considered married until they broke up."  Rey thinks a moment and realizes, “I guess we might be considered to be married by now if we lived on Jakku.”

 

And that just proves his point, Kylo thinks.  “Marriage is the universal norm, Rey.  And I like law and order.  Remember?"

 

"You sound like the First Order," she teases. 

 

"I sound like your husband-to-be," he counters.  "Come on, let’s do it,” Kylo cajoles.  “I want to do it.  You can think of this as just a piece of paper if that helps."   And this is sort of true, because it's not like they would be Sith married forever in the Force.  He couldn't ask Rey to do that without telling her that he is Kylo Ren.  That will have to wait for the future.  But he'll settle for this civil marriage for now.  And maybe, he reasons, this commitment will help if she balks whenever he gets around to his big reveal. 

 

"You really want to do this?" Rey asks in a small voice. "I'm just a scavenger, Ben.  And you're--you're--much more than that," she finishes lamely.  She looks down.  “You don’t have to do this.  Shouldn’t you marry some Sith queen or some girl like your grandmother?“

 

He hears her insecurities talking now and suddenly Kylo has a new reason why he wants to do this.  "I don't care about that.  You are the only woman in the galaxy who is my peer.  And I’m crazy for you, Rey.  So, will you marry me, Padawan?"

 

She’s still unconvinced.  “Aren’t you supposed to be in love to get married?”  She looks at him plainly and raises one eyebrow.  “Ben, you don’t love me.”

 

Well, he kinda sorta does love her.  Maybe.  But that’s beside the point.  “My parents were in love when they married and look how well that turned out.  Maybe it’s best to be deeply in like with one another,” he reasons.  Kylo’s eyes narrow as he cross-examines her.  “You do like me, Rey, right?”

 

She grins.  “I deeply like you.”

 

“So, will you marry me, Padawan?”

 

She hesitates.  And now, he pulls out all the stops and drops to one knee.  He can’t quite believe he’s doing this.  But here goes.  “Will you marry me, Rey?  Will you be mine officially?”

 

Rey thinks a long moment.  She looks very serious as she gazes down at him.  “This really matters to you, doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes.”  Somehow it matters very much to him that Rey will affirmatively choose him.

 

Rey’s face softens and she gives in.  "Well, okay.  Then yes.  I will marry you, Ben."

 

Kylo grabs her hand before she changes her mind and pulls her down the hall and to the left to present them both to an elderly clerk.  He asks them lots questions. 

 

“Your names please.”

 

“Ben Solo.”

 

“Rey R-E-Y . . . uh . . .”

 

“Yes, miss?” the clerk prompts her.

 

“Rey Desert,” she decides.  He snort-laughs over that response and now Kylo attempts unsuccessfully to turn his reaction into a coughing fit.  Rey keeps a straight face but just barely.

 

The clerk is suspicious.  “Young man, marriage is a serious business not to be undertaken lightly,” he glares at Kylo.  “I will assume that outburst is because you are nervous.”  Then the dignified clerk resumes his questions.  “Are you two related by blood?”

 

“No,” Rey announces. 

 

But Kylo can’t resist adding, “You never know in my family.”  

 

Again, he is on the receiving end of the clerk’s glare.  “So, is that a no?” 

 

“Yes, that’s a no.”  Kylo dutifully replies.

 

“Has either of you ever been married before?”

 

“No,” he and Rey answer in unison.

 

“What is your birthdate?”

 

Kylo gives his and decides right then and there that the first thing he will do when he rules the galaxy is get rid of the "ABY" dating convention.  It annoys him to reference anything about the Rebellion.

 

Rey turns to him to whisper, "You're 31?"   She says this like he’s as ancient as his Muun Master.   “Wow.  You’re really 31?”

 

Yes, he is.  "How old are you?" Kylo wants to know.

 

“19.  I think.” 

 

“Then, we're legal,” he assures Rey.  Only she doesn't know her actual birthday.  Just make it up, Rey Desert, he whispers.  And she does.

 

The clerk tells them that they have a three-day waiting period before they can come back and he will perform the marriage ceremony.  Rey looks a bit relieved at this news but Kylo is ready to do this.  He waves his hand slightly and concentrates in the Force.

 

_We don't need any waiting period._

_You don't need any waiting period._

_You will marry us right now._

_I will marry you right now._  

 

And then the clerk launches right into the vows. “Rey Desert, do you take Ben Solo to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?”

 

Rey hesitates.  “Uh . . .”  She looks to Kylo and squeaks, “For as long as we live?”  Clearly, the concept of forever scares her.  And now Kylo is certain that it’s a good thing he put off the whole Sith marriage business.  Luckily, the old clerk intercedes.  Technically Chandrila permits no-fault divorce, the old clerk explains, telling Rey he leaves that part out of the ceremony because it's not romantic. 

 

"Okay, then yes," Rey decides.

 

And now it’s his turn.  “Ben Solo, do you take Rey Desert to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The clerk now reaches to read from what is apparently a newly revised script.  “By the power vested in me by the sovereign world of Chandrila and by the authority of the First Order to Restore the Galactic Empire, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”   The old clerk beams, Rey looks a bit scared and Kylo feels satisfied as he gives his new scavenger wifey a big kiss.

 

As they walk back to the ship holding hands, he tells Rey, “Darth Vader would be proud that I finally made an honest woman of you.  If he’s watching us in the Force, no doubt he’s been scandalized.”

 

“He married a queen and a Senator, remember?  Grandpa probably thinks you’re slumming with me,” Rey says softly.

 

“He was a slave, Rey.  Remember?  I’m sure he would have loved you.”

 

And that seems to reassure her somewhat.  But she changes the topic.  “What did you do to the clerk,” Rey asks.  “I felt you summon the Force.”

 

And now, he has his first teachable moment for his new Padawan wife.  “The Force can have a strong influence on the weak minded.   Highly suggestible people can be led through the Force.  The Jedi called it a mind trick.  If we had someone weak minded on Mustafar, I would teach you.  But between me and Vanee, you’re out of luck.”

 

Mention of the old Sith servant must prompt Rey to suggest, “Maybe we shouldn’t tell Vanee about this marriage.  You know—keep it to ourselves for a while.”

 

Kylo can tell that Rey is still getting used to the idea.  But he sees no reason to hide anything from Vanee.  “Rey, Vanee would be relieved.  He’s probably been lying awake nights worrying that I’m going to get you pregnant.”

 

She stops and whirls at this.  “You think he knows??  Does he know??”

 

Kylo chuckles at her reaction.  “Of course, he knows, Rey.  That old man isn’t blind.  And he’s seen a few things through the years, I’m sure.”

 

Rey frowns and looks embarrassed.  “I don’t think he knows,” she announces in a tone of voice that indicates that she’s unconvinced herself.

 

Kylo leans over to whisper, “You left your panties under the dining room table last week.”

 

Rey’s hand flies to her mouth and her eyes widen.  Her face flushes bright red.  “Oh, Gods, did I?”

 

Kylo shouts with sly laughter.  “Nah.  I’m just teasing you.  But I’m pretty sure there are at least a couple pairs stashed under my bed by now.”

 

Rey just gives him a glare.  She’s grumpy and he knows it’s because he sprang the impromptu wedding on her.  But he keeps needling her because he’s so pleased with himself.  “I warn you that I’m going to buy you a great big tacky wedding ring, Mrs. Solo.  That way everyone will know that you’re taken.  We Sith are the jealous and possessive type.”

 

She shoots him some side eye.  “I live with an old man and a dozen droids and I still hide on delivery day when the First Order comes.  Just who are you worried about stealing me away, Ben?”

 

“We won’t always live on Mustafar, Rey.  I want to live on Coruscant, remember?  And things are always big and flashy on Coruscant.”

 

She brightens a little at this.  “Oh, yes,” she slants him a teasing look.  “I forgot—we’ll be moving when you become Emperor Ben.”

 

He nods.  “Precisely.”

 

Rey giggles.  “You can’t have a Jakku Empress, Ben.  You need a Core World wife for an Empress.  Only the First Order would have an Outer Rim Empress.”

 

And now it’s his turn to tease her.  “I am backing the First Order in the war, remember?”

 

“Doesn’t the Supreme Leader get to be the Emperor if they win?  Or Kylo Ren?  Or maybe that screaming redheaded guy?”

 

“Brendol Hux will not be Emperor of the galaxy,” Ben growls. 

 

“Yes, well, whatever.  My point is that it’s not going to be you, Ben.  No matter how much money you are giving them.  Anyhow, this is silly.  Why are we even discussing this?”  They are at the ship now and Rey plops down in the co-pilot seat as usual.  She starts warming the engines and doing the standard pre-flight checks. 

 

Kylo reaches over to cover her hand with his.  “Rey, don’t let this wedding upset you.  I never intended to upset you.”  She nods but doesn’t look at him.  Yes, she’s upset.  “Thank you for making it official.  We’re a family now.” 

 

Rey still looks less than enthused.  “I don’t know about this whole marriage thing,” she tells him honestly.  “But I’m all for a honeymoon.”

 

Yeah?  So is he.  “Name the system, Rey, and I’ll take you.”


	12. Chapter 12

From the look of all the transport crates laying about in the kitchen, the weekly First Order delivery shuttle had come early this morning while Rey had still been dressing.   Vanee is supervising the unpacking as she wanders in stifling a yawn. 

 

The old man looks up to smile good morning.  He does a double take.  “Oh, I like your hair like that, Rey.  I haven't seen that style for a long time.  It’s very pretty.”  Then Vanee raises his eyebrows. “That isn’t a political statement, is it?” he grins.

 

A political statement?  “No,” Rey laughs easily.  “No, it’s just a style that keeps my hair out of my face.  I found it in the grooming droid's directory.   Is it too retro, Vanee?”  Rey pats at her double hair buns.   She can’t decide if she likes them or not, but she’ll try them for a day.  “The droid said that this style was popular during the Old Republic.  But uh . . . well, fashion trends are not my thing,” she confesses.  And looking across at the man who dresses everyday like he's Emperor Sheev Palpatine come back to life, Rey realizes that maybe Vanee isn't the best judge of what’s cute and current.  

 

“The Rebellion princess Leia Organa famously wore that hairstyle,” Vanee tells her.  He loves telling stories of the Empire days.  “There was a mug shot of the princess taken in Imperial custody when she had those double buns on.  It was leaked to the press and it began appearing next to pin-up posters in stormtrooper lockers.   Back in the day, Alderaan’s princess was quite a noted beauty.”   The castle caretaker pokes at the datapad he’s using to inventory the delivery.  Evidently, he’s googling on the holonet.  “There,” he turns the datapad around to show her.  “That's the picture.  Lord Vader hated it.”

 

Rey takes a look.  Yes, this woman was very pretty in her buns.  “Really?  Why?  He didn't like his men admiring the enemy?”

 

“Lord Vader didn't like his men ogling that particular enemy.”  Now Vanee reaches into an open crate.  “There’s something here for you.  It looks like a present from the master.”  He holds out a small box to Rey. 

 

“A present?”  She accepts the small box and instantly she knows what it contains.  Rey holds it a long moment, stalling.

 

“Well, aren’t you going to open it?”  Vanee has a knowing look.  Perhaps he recognizes the Coruscant jeweler’s name imprinted on the outside of the box.  Or perhaps Ben has already told him about their wedding.  “They say good things come in small packages,” the old man says with a wink.

 

Rey opens the box and, as she suspects, it contains a ring.  A great big ring, like Ben had promised.  The red stone is extremely large and cut in a rectangle and the band and setting it nestles in are a shiny black metal. 

 

Old Vanee peers over her shoulder for a good look.  “Ah, see how highly the master prizes you.  Does that ring mean what I think it means?  Is there an engagement in the works?”

 

“No,” Rey says softly as she stares down at the distinctive ring.  “We’re married, Vanee.  Ben and I got married on Chandrila last week.”

 

“Wonderful!”  The old man is beaming now like he’s the father of the bride.  “What happy news this is!  I look forward to congratulating the master.” 

 

Rey is still staring at the ring.  She has been avoiding thinking about the impromptu marriage ceremony on Chandrila, telling herself that it didn’t matter and nothing has changed because of it.  But now this ring has arrived and it feels like something has changed.  She feels uneasy.  Very unsettled now.  It must be the ring. 

 

“Finally, this castle has a mistress,” Vanee muses.  “Lord Vader would approve, I’m sure.  Aren’t you going to put it on?”

 

Should she put it on?  Rey takes a deep breath and slides the ring on the fourth finger of her left hand.  The ring is her first ever piece of jewelry.  It’s beautiful on her hand and it’s a perfect fit.  But it feels heavy and it will take some getting used to.  Rey stares down at it.  She keeps trying to summon a smile at this obviously expensive gift, but Rey has a bad feeling now.  Is it the ring?  The marriage it represents?   She doesn’t know. 

 

Vanee looks on with pride.  “You’re a Skywalker now, Rey.”

 

"It happened fast,” Rey says softly as she looks down at the gorgeous ring.   “All of this has happened fast.   I'm only 19, Vanee.   And Ben and I haven't known each other very long." 

 

Rey doesn't say it out loud but she feels a bit pushed into this marriage.  Maybe it's because Ben is so much older than she is and that makes him more confident about what he wants in life.  And he's probably made more big decisions in his life, too.  But as deeply as she cares for Ben, marriage had never once crossed Rey's mind as a near term possibility.  And never once had she and Ben discussed a future together before they had married.   Rey had been quite happy for the status quo to continue indefinitely. 

 

But suddenly Ben had been down on one knee proposing and it was like something out of a holonet movie.  Crazy, impulsive, reckless and charming in the moment.  Here was a handsome, successful and wealthy man who wants to marry her.  And he is sexy with his brooding intensity and his compelling nature.   A bit of a dreamy romantic too in his love for the Force and his reverence for the past.  He's a man of ideals and reflection.  Yes, she and Ben don't agree on politics but he doesn't force it on her and they don't fight over it.  Ben seems very live and let live about all of their differences.  And the war is such a long way from Mustafar anyway.  So, it doesn't really matter.   And, yeah, they haven’t discussed their future beyond the fact that Ben wants to live on Coruscant someday.  There’s been no talk of kids or life goals or desires beyond the vague notion that he wants to be happy and she wants a family.   

 

But none of that had occurred to Rey in the moment of decision.  And so moved by his crooked, earnest smile, she had said yes.  And five minutes later they were married.  Without a fancy dress or a ring.  With no witnesses or lead up.  No tears or nervousness.  It had felt weirdly casual for such a momentous decision.  And it's not that Rey is unhappy with her decision in retrospect.  It's more that it was just so sudden.  But then again, most of her life has felt a bit surreal since she found that droid in the desert and met Ben Solo. 

 

But what's done is done.  She's Mrs. Ben Solo now.  And Rey has a giant rock of a ring on her hand to prove it.  Plus, next week, Ben is taking her to Corellia to see the legendary shipyards for their honeymoon.  Ben has a First Order friend who owes him a favor so she's getting a behind the scenes tour of a newly completed star destroyer before it is delivered to the Order.  Rey is so excited, she can hardly wait.   So, really everything is wonderful and she’s like a heroine in her own a fairytale.   And it’s one of the happily ever after ones—not the sort that have the moralizing dark twist.

 

Rey looks up to find Vanee looking at her thoughtfully.  “Best wishes, my dear.  I hope that you and the master will be very happy together.  It’s good to see this family continue for another generation.”

 

Rey smiles and is about to thank Vanee when the sound of distant ion engines interrupts.  “Is there a second delivery today?  That sounds like a ship,” she tells the old caretaker.

 

Vanee shakes his head.  “No, we don’t have a second delivery this week.  Perhaps the master has returned.  Let's go see.”   

 

So together Rey and the old caretaker walk to the landing platform.  Yes, it’s Ben.  Rey recognizes his shuttle as its majestic black wings fold up like a bird of prey coming home to roost.   She’s so focused admiring the ship as it descends to land that it takes a moment before she notices the four TIEs hovering high above that fly escort to the shuttle. 

 

That’s not typical.  Ben never arrives with a First Order escort.   And now Rey definitely has a bad feeling.

 

“Vanee, why are those TIEs—“

 

“Go inside now,” Vanee interrupts her, something he never does.  His voice is sharp.  “Rey, that is not the master’s shuttle.”

 

“Yes, I think you’re right,” Rey thinks aloud as she realizes that this craft is in much better condition than Ben’s shuttle.    And suddenly Ben's long ago words come to mind that there is only one other shuttle like his and it belongs to the Supreme Leader of the First Order. 

 

“Go inside now!”  Vanee commands.  “Let me handle this.  Go to the safe room.  Open only for me, Rey.  Go!”

 

Rey doesn’t have to be told twice.  She takes off at a run.  She’s not even inside the castle before Rey hears booted feet behind her giving chase.  She throws her head over her shoulder to see a swarm of stormtroopers charging down the shuttle ramp.  Thankfully, they are not shooting.  Rey makes it inside to the safe room and slams the door hard.  Now, her knowledge of what lies beyond that door is only what she can see through the small portal window.  Poor Vanee, Rey thinks, left alone and unarmed and at the mercy of the First Order. 

 

Seconds tick by like minutes as Rey nervously waits in her hiding spot.  She hasn’t heard any shooting but that is little comfort for it wouldn’t take much to overtake a frail old man like Vanee.  Rey knows that it’s only a matter of time before the troopers discover where she is.  Probably, Rey thinks, she’s in for a long standoff holed up here waiting for Ben to arrive to sort things out with his First Order connections.

 

As it turns out, Rey doesn’t have to wait long.  Vanee’s face soon appears at the window.

 

“Rey, it's Vanee.  Open, please.”  The old caretaker’s voice is muffled by the heavy blast door that lies between them, but she can hear the concern in his tone and see it written across his features.  For all she knows, someone has a gun to the Vanee’s side and is coercing him to say this.  So, Rey hesitates.

 

“Rey, open the door.  It would be best for you if you open the door.”

 

“I’m not going back to the First Order,” she cries.  Her face is up against the window the same as his.

 

“Rey, these men are simply here to deliver you to Darth Plagueis.  The master’s master has summoned you.”

 

Rey feels the truth of these words in the Force.  But she’s still suspicious.  “Why did he send the First Order?” Rey demands.

 

“Rey, this is a First Order world and all deliveries of supplies and personnel come through the Order.”  Yes, she knows this.  It makes sense.  But still, Rey feel uneasy.  Her sense of danger is heightened.  And why didn’t Ben come to take her to his master himself?  Wouldn’t he want to be there when she is introduced as his bride?

 

“Rey, open the door.  Trust me.  They will not hurt you.  You are not being arrested.”

 

Vanee believes these words too as he says them, Rey knows through the Force.  She stares undecided for a long moment before reluctantly she opens the door.

 

Her heart nearly stops at the sight of who stands flanking Vanee.

 

“Kylo Ren?” she whispers, transfixed by the sight of the black masked warrior dressed in the distinctive First Order Knight of Ren uniform.  Just the sight of the tall, broad man strikes fear in Rey's heart.  His helmet looks a little different in person, she thinks.  And he doesn’t have his red crossguard sword in his hand either.  But he might as well, for Rey is thoroughly intimidated.

 

“Yes, that’s his girl,” the knight announces to the troopers.  “Put her on the shuttle.  No cuffs.” 

 

Rey turns fearfully to Vanee and watches as the old man visibly swallows. “Rey, this is Nestor Ren, the Second Knight of the First Order.  He is transporting you to the Sith Master Darth Plagueis.” 

 

Nestor?  Why does that name sound familiar?  Rey can't recall in the extreme stress of the moment.  She’s frightened.  Very frightened.  “I don’t understand,” Rey says.  “Why doesn’t Ben take me to his master himself?”

 

Vanee ignores her question.  Instead, he turns to the knight.  The old man's voice is unusually harsh.  Menacing even.  "She is entrusted to you, Knight.  The master would not want her harmed.  Beware his wrath, Nestor Ren.  The revenge of the Sith should not be underestimated.  You of all people should know that."

 

The knight snaps back at Vanee, “I wouldn't be here if I had a choice, old man.   This is between the two of them.  Leave me out of it.”  The knight’s voice is modulated by his mask to sound deep and metallic.  He is clearly annoyed.  He stalks forward and grabs Rey’s arm roughly as she cringes back. 

 

Vanee's warning continues low and slow now as he looks pointedly at her.  “Nestor Ren, I have served the Sith decades longer than you have been alive.  I know their ways.   Whatever Lord Plagueis’ intentions, you and your men will treat Lady Rey with the respect that is her due as the wife of a Sith."

 

“Wife?” the knight repeats.  “He didn’t tell me they were married.”

 

“She is his wife,” Vanee growls.  Then the old man turns to awkwardly pat at her shoulder.  “Rey, go with him.  Go quietly.  Good luck.”

 

Go with him?  Go quietly?  Like Hell she will.   Vanee’s warning to the knight has unnerved her completely.  If Vanee doesn’t trust these guys, why should she?  Rey jerks her arm back roughly.  "I’m not going to the First Order!" Rey cries, her voice shrill as she dashes back into the safe room.  If she can just get the door closed, she can wait them out until Ben arrives.  What a fool she had been to open it in the first place.

 

But the knight is fast and he anticipates her.  In a split second, the massive man stands in the doorway, blocking it. 

 

Behind him, Vanee nods at her.  "Rey, go with him.  I think it will all make sense for you soon," the old man tells her cryptically.  Vanee won't meet her eyes and now Rey's sense of panic bubbles over.  For years on Jakku, she relied on her instinct to keep her safe.  Rey does the same now.  And her gut tells her not to go with these men.

 

"N-No!" Rey grinds out as she rushes right at the knight.  She feints left and then spins to veer right around and past the knight, slipping through his hands and past the waiting troopers.  Now Rey is off at a sprint.  And she's fast.  Fast like a rival scavenger is chasing her to steal her find.  Fast like there is a sandstorm on her heels and she’s desperate to make it to shelter.  For Rey will be damned before she gets taken anywhere by the First Order.  If Ben had wanted to take her to his Sith master, then he would have done so himself.  She doesn't believe for a moment that this Knight of Ren intends her anything but harm. 

 

Behind her, she hears Vanee calling her name as the knight and his troopers scramble after her.  But Rey keeps running.   The problem is that she's not sure where she is running to. The only ship to steal is probably full of First Order personnel and running onboard the ship they are trying to get her on seems like a bad idea.  But outside the castle, there is nothing but lava fields and unfiltered, sometimes poisonous air. 

 

In other words, there is no escape. 

 

Oh Gods!  Maybe this is finally the end for her, Rey thinks as her mind races.  She watches as more stormtroopers begin pouring out of the waiting black shuttle with guns drawn.  She has troopers behind her and in front of her now.  And on her left and right are the lava fields.  Yes, this is it, she realizes.  Better to die here fast and hard than to suffer torture again in a First Order cell, she reasons. 

 

That has always been Rey's view.  And that's why she kept a loaded blaster in her AT-AT home on Jakku.  She had promised herself years ago that if it ever did come to death by starvation or thirst, she would take matters into her own hands and reclaim control for herself.  She would die fast and hard.  Quick and painful.  But final in an instant.  Because Rey of Jakku has always been afraid to die.  Especially the way people die on Jakku.

 

Oh, Ben, she thinks as she runs headlong into the squad of stormtroopers with blasters aimed.  Ben, you said you would keep me safe but I forgive you.  I wish I had told you that I love you, Ben.  Goodbye, Ben.  Find me in your beloved Force.  I will be there.  I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.  I am one with the--

 

Everything goes black. 

 

Rey wakes handcuffed and lying on the floor of the ship that looks like Ben's shuttle but isn't.   She opens her eyes to see the Knight of Ren who had arrived to take her.  She's eye level with his feet.  He has one boot on and the other off.   And where his lower left leg and foot should be, Rey sees a mechanical prosthetic.  And that jogs her memory some.  Then, the knight tears off his helmet and that jogs her memory more.

 

"Kylo!" the knight is exasperated and he heaves the datapad he’s holding to the seat beside him with frustration.  "Kylo, where the fuck are you?   Try him again on a com!" the knight roars to a subordinate.  Then he hauls himself to his feet and swears at obvious pain from the effort.  "FUCK!  Where is he??  I hate this mission.  Which of you idiots shot her?   He won't care that it was a stun shot.  You're all fucking dead for that!  I never said you could fucking shoot her!"  The knight slumps back into his seat and swears under his breath once more as he rubs at his injured leg.

 

A voice calls over to the knight.  “There’s still no response on Ren’s com, Sir.  We’ll keep trying.”

 

“You do that!” the knight bellows back.  “How much time until we make it to Snoke?”

 

“ETA at the Supreme Leader’s command center is an hour, Sir,” someone says.

 

“Well, take your time,” the knight orders.  “Give us as much time as you can to reach Kylo first.  I don’t want him walking blindsided into this mess.”  And now the knight sighs and slumps in disgust.  “I hate this job sometimes.  I feel like I just arrested my little sister.”

 

Rey closes her eyes and pretends to still be stunned.  Because now she remembers that Nestor Ren had been the man whose family she had met on Coruscant last month.  This man is Nestor the right hand man who lost his leg after bleeding all over Ben's shoulder.  This man is Nestor her husband’s longtime friend whom he trusts.  And today Nestor had lied to Vanee about taking her to Ben’s Sith Master. 

 

Instead, she has been arrested to be taken to the First Order.   Somehow, they must know that she is a former prisoner.  And that means she and Ben have been betrayed.  Rey is not sure exactly what has happened and why.  But either way, this will not end fast and hard, Rey fears.  This will be slow and painful.  Just what she has been trying her whole life to avoid.


	13. Chapter 13

Nothing unusual occurs to tip him off.He and Hux present their weekly reports as usual.The general does so remotely via hologram from his post at Starkiller Base because Hux is preparing for today’s weapons test.Kylo appears in person at his Master’s stronghold.Snoke gives his orders and dismisses Hux.Then, the Master turns to his Apprentice, beckoning him forward as the old Muun with the ruined face climbs down from his high throne.

“Walk with me, Apprentice.”

“Yes, Master.”

Together they make their way out of the audience chamber.Kylo assumes his Master will retire to his library, as is his custom.But not today, it seems.They head instead for the upper levels of the secret bunker that Darth Plagueis the Wise, Supreme Leader of the First Order, calls home.

Snoke turns to tell him, “I have a special guest arriving today, Apprentice.I had expected her to be here before now.You will welcome her with me.”

A guest?That is unusual.Kylo is intrigued until a moment later when a subtle ripple in the Force alerts him that another Force user is nearby.A familiar one.He turns a questioning look on his Master, wondering for the briefest instant whether the old Muun has finally managed to get his hands on Leia Organa.But then the newcomer approaches and Kylo’s heart sinks as he recognizes without a doubt the distinctive signature of Rey in the Force.

They have been caught.

His Master too senses the approach of the Light.Snoke slants a look of surprise at Kylo, which tells him that Rey’s Force powers are unexpected to him.Now his Master’s expression quickly turns to contempt. “Oh, how typical,” the Muun sneers his disdain.“I should have guessed the reason for your deceit.I knew that you were deceiving her.I did not know that you were deceiving me as well.”

“Master, I can explain—“

“Oh, you will, Apprentice.You most certainly will.But first let us greet our guest.”

Kylo says nothing in response.He just grits his teeth.This is going to be ugly, he knows.It’s only a question of degree.Kylo knows his Sith Master well enough to know that old Darth Plagueis lives for these sorts of revelations and manipulations.There is nothing a Sith loves more than devastating truth.Hopefully, Rey will be spared any punishment and the pain will all be reserved for himself.His Rey is a victim in this charade and not a co-conspirator. And she is certainly no threat to his Master.

 

Snoke comes to a halt at the end of the main corridor that bisects his hidden bunker.There he and Kylo wait in silence as a squad of stormtroopers approach with a limping Nestor Ren. Amid all that glossy white armor Kylo’s eyes catch the flutter of a skirt, also white.As the troopers march closer, Rey is revealed in their midst.Her face is as stark white as the elegantly simple dress she wears.

 

Nestor must know that they are late for his troopers are marching Rey at almost double time and she can barely keep up. Her eyes swing side to side in undisguised fear. With each footstep, Kylo feels in the Force her rising terror.This is everything Rey has ever feared, he knows.She thinks she is an escaped prisoner recaptured by the First Order.Headed for a cell, another interrogation and probably an execution.And all that may in fact come true.But first, Kylo knows with utter certainty, she is going to get her heart broken.

 

Fuck, he thinks, I should have told her.I should have told her long ago.Rey doesn’t deserve to hear it like this.

 

After what feels like endless waiting, the squad comes to a halt before them.Kylo knows the intimidating picture he and his Master present standing side by side. The Muun Sith Darth Plagueis the Wise, seven feet tall, his hideously scarred grey visage peeking out from beneath his black hooded cloak and cowl.And he himself, sporting the full trappings of the Master of the Knights of Ren, helmet on and iconic sword at the ready.They are the current Master and Apprentice in a line of Dark priests that stretches back millennia.They are the reclusive Supreme Leader of the First Order and his legendary cruel enforcer Kylo Ren.

 

And thrust hard to her knees at their feet is his unsuspecting wife Rey.

 

Nestor Ren announces, "This is the girl you requested, Supreme Leader, Sir.Lady Rey of Mustafar Castle."

 

"Leave us," his Master orders.

 

As Nestor and the troopers hasten to depart, Rey raises her head and lifts her chin.Kylo’s breath catches in his chest. She has never looked more beautiful with her long hair coiled over her ears in the classic Old Republic style his mother and other women once wore in defiance of the Empire. Rey's glossy pink lips tremble to betray her fear but her eyes are clear and unwavering.She might be on her knees in a puddle of white fabric but there is nothing submissive about Rey.Kylo is reminded of the first night he met her on Mustafar.She had been scared but valiant then too.This is Rey, he realizes with sudden insight.Since she was a child, she has met every danger of her life alone and on her own terms.

 

His Master waves his hand and Rey’s handcuffs open and clatter noisily to the floor, releasing her.Then the tall Muun leans over to offer Rey his spindly fingered hand.She stares at it a long moment before she accepts it, allowing Snoke to raise her gracefully to her feet.

 

"Welcome, my dear. I am Darth Plagueis the Wise, the Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order to Restore the Galactic Empire."His Master gestures slightly towards him."I believe you know my Apprentice Kylo Ren."

 

Rey says nothing but he knows that her mind is putting together the fact that his Master Darth Plagueis is the leader of the First Order.Does she think that the Muun has more than one Apprentice or has she figured it out now?Either Rey has an excellent poker face or she hasn’t figured it out.Or maybe his sweetly trusting wife can’t bring herself to believe the truth.

 

Rey’s hands are clasped loosely before her and she nervously fiddles with her wedding ring.The movement draws Snoke's attention and he reaches for Rey's left hand. He too fingers the ring a moment.“Another Skywalker who hides his secret lady.How cliché our family is becoming,” his Master drawls.Then abruptly the Muun flips over Rey’s palm.Kylo knows what his Master is looking for but Rey does not.At the sight of her smooth, unblemished skin, his Master releases her hand.She snatches it back.

 

"Apprentice,” his Master commands. “Introduce yourself to the lady.Perhaps she cannot place you with the helmet on."

 

And now the game is up.Kylo swallows hard.His ruse is discovered and now comes the moment when he will lose her trust forever.He takes a deep fortifying breath and removes his helmet.

 

Rey takes a step back and stares with wide, disbelieving eyes.

 

At his side, his Master grins.

 

"Ben."Rey breathes out his name more than says it.Her eyes search his for a long moment before they shut tightly.“No, that’s not true.That’s impossible,” she whispers.“Impossible.”And then she looks to him again and he nods confirmation.

 

Rey’s eyes drop to the floor.Her bewildered, crestfallen face says it all.

 

"Ben??" His Master intones with clear annoyance as he shoots him a reproving look.Snoke had decreed many, many years ago that his birth name was never to be spoken."How you disappoint me, Kylo Ren."

 

Kylo says nothing.He can’t tear his attention away from Rey.Her mind is screaming out to him in the Force.Confused and hurt.

 

At his side, his Master inspects Rey, nodding his approval.“How lovely she is.She puts me in mind of your misguided mother in her youth.Yes,” the old Muun decides.“It is not hard to see how she turned your head, Apprentice. I see all that Light.All that beautiful Light,” the old Muun purrs.And now his Master’s voice hardens as Kylo is called to account.“Did you think that you could keep her from me, Apprentice?That was foolish of you.”

Searching for a strategy, Kylo decides to play it cool.“I did not think you would mind that I kept a woman.”

Old Darth Plagueis isn’t fooled.“You can keep a harem, Kylo Ren, and I will not care.But this is no ordinary woman.Let us not pretend otherwise.”The Muun’s eyes rake over Rey again in a way that Kylo does not like.Snoke looks like a greedy child who has just been brought a new toy.“Where did you find her?”

“In a prison cell.She got picked up by a squad on Jakku.”

“Jakku?Ah, yes, the site of your failure with the map.”

“She found the droid with the map in the desert.”

Snoke smirks at this news.“But, of course, she did.The girl with the Light found the droid with the map to Luke Skywalker.And you found the girl but not the map.”His Master grunts.“I would believe that to be a charming coincidence except there are no coincidences where Skywalkers are concerned.You have been gorging yourself on her Light ever since, am I right?”

Rey’s face looks flushed and humiliated by this statement.Kylo frowns.

“Yes, I know the pleasure to be had with a lady of the Light.”The Muun is impatient now.“Well, am I right, Apprentice?”

“Yes,” he admits.There’s no point in trying to hide it.

His Master’s deformed face smirks.Old Darth Plagueis is enjoying himself.“What did you tell her?How did Ben Solo explain his absence when you are away conquering the galaxy for the Sith?Are you supposed to be a wealthy gadabout? Maybe a respectable businessman?I used that ruse myself for many years, but it had the benefit of being true.There have been Sith who were politicians and Sith who were scientists.But you, my boy, are purely a warrior Sith.You have one job and one job only:to kill.Kill the Resistance and kill Luke Skywalker.Regrettably, you haven’t been making progress on either front lately.”The Muun’s eyes flit over Rey.“I think I know why.”

“Master—“

“You are the Apprentice, I am the Master,” Darth Plagueis hisses.“By rights, she should have been mine!If any Sith gets to despoil the Light, it should be me.” The Muun reaches to trail a skeletal finger covetously down Rey’s cheek.She cringes and averts her eyes but his Master ignores it.Kylo looks on and seethes.

“I am tempted to have you kill her,” his Master deliberates aloud.“Right now.To face your weakness and to overcome it.”

“It is your weakness too,” Kylo growls.

“No, it is not,” his Master counters.“I can appreciate the Light.But I am not tempted to join it.That is the difference between us.You are weak, Apprentice.Weak for the Light.”And now, once more his Master strokes at Rey’s cheek and his thumb runs suggestively across her lips.“Perhaps, I should take her from you instead.It has been many years since I took a bride.”

Rey’s eyes flash at these words and she jerks back her chin and bats away his Master’s hand.“I’m not your bride!” she snaps, glaring up at the man who the whole galaxy fears.His Rey has always been brave, but she is never more brave than when she is cornered.“Take your hands off me!”

Old Darth Plagueis merely chuckles at this show of defiance.Then he decides.“I don’t want your leavings, Apprentice, tempting though she is.No, I will let you keep her.If you can, that is.She looks none too pleased with you currently.” Snoke looks smug at all the damage he has caused.“Take a lesson here, Apprentice.You should never lie to a woman.Women always figure out the truth.”

Rey’s eyes dart from himself to his Master and back again.She’s glaring daggers at them both for being openly discussed in this manner.

But the Muun isn’t finished yet with his meddling.“Tell me, Apprentice, did you interrogate her or did someone else?”

“Someone else,” he answers, adding, “She got the standard treatment.”

His Master nods thoughtfully.“And who among the Order is responsible for the search for Skywalker?”

“I am,” he concedes. And, fuck.Kylo suddenly knows where this is heading.

“Who commanded that mission?”

“I did,” he admits.

“And who ordered the interrogation of the prisoners from that mission?”

“I did,” Kylo spits out the unfortunate truth as he watches Rey’s eyes narrow at this news.

And now apparently, his Master must feel satisfied that Kylo has atoned for his transgression for he switches to issuing instructions.“Manage your weakness with her, Apprentice.Use her for her Light.But let it go no farther than that.When the time comes, I will choose a suitable consort for you.Certainly, she will not be from Jakku.You can do far better than this one, I assure you.”

The Muun pauses expectantly.When the silence hangs heavy between them, finally Kylo grinds out, “Yes, Master.”

“Have you been teaching her, Apprentice?”

“Yes,” he admits.

“Let that go no further as well.She is firmly in the Light.Only a fool trains an enemy, Kylo Ren.The lightsaber you put in her hand may one day slice through your neck.”

“Yes, Master.”

“And the next time you come across a lady of the Light, Apprentice, you will bring her to me.”

“Yes, Master.”

“You are dismissed, Apprentice.Take her away.”


	14. Chapter 14

Ben—Kylo Ren—whoever he is grabs her arm and propels her down the hallway away from his Master even as she attempts to shrug him off.  “Let go!  You owe me an explan--”

“Be quiet!” he orders, tightening his grip.   “You’re alive and I can keep you,” he hisses.  “That counts as a victory with him, Rey.  We will discuss this in private and I will explain.  But not now!”

But Rey is ready to discuss this now.  She succeeds in wrenching free but he just grabs for her again.  “Stop taking my hand!” she scowls.

Ben ignores this and drags her forward out onto the landing platform she had just come from.  “Be quiet and let’s get away before Snoke changes his mind.”  There are two identical black command shuttles idling on the landing platform.  Ben points her towards the one she did not arrive on.  “You have no idea how lucky we both are today.”

And that’s the wrong thing to say because just now Rey is not feeling lucky.

“Get this ship in the air!” Ben barks as they crest the top of the shuttle ramp together.  Rey turns from scowling at Ben to find six uniformed First Order officers snapped to attention and staring at them from the shuttle interior.  Off to the side are a few stormtroopers who hastily jam their helmets back on and lift their weapons.

“Oh.”  Rey stops in her tracks and draws the wrong conclusion.  She whirls on Ben.  “So now you’re arresting me??”  She shoots a glare over at the clutch of officers.  “This is twice in one day.  Last time you sent your trooper grunts and your friend, but at least this time I merit some top brass.”

“I’m not arresting you,” Ben complains as he smashes his helmet down on an empty seat to express his frustration.  He glances over at their audience with annoyance.  The shuttle is large but it’s far from private with this many people inside.  “This is my staff, Rey.  I don’t conquer the galaxy all by myself.”  Then he turns his head towards the direction of the cockpit and roars, “If this ship doesn’t get in the air now, someone dies!”

“How very Kylo Ren of you,” Rey accuses as she plants her hands on her hips.  “You even sound like you mean it.”

“I do,” Ben confirms and his expression is ugly.  Like nothing she’s ever seen before.  His command is immediately heeded for Rey feels the repulsor lifts kick in as the shuttle breaks gravity and begins to lift off.  “Well, now you know, Rey.” He gestures up and outwards with both hands.  “Surprise!  You’re married to Kylo Ren.”  And he doesn’t look especially repentant about his dupe.  He looks more resentful and agitated now than anything.   He runs a hand through his hair in a gesture she recognizes to mean that he’s preoccupied.   “We’ll talk about this later, Rey,” he says in a tone that indicates he will tolerate no debate.

Then Ben looks past her to his staff and demands, “Do we still have time to make it to the Starkiller test?”  Someone says yes and starts talking about hyperspace lanes and how they will make it with time to spare.  And now Ben starts issuing orders and talking about targeting coordinates but Rey isn’t listening.  Instead, she stares, incredulous that he’s thinking about some weapons test at a time like this.  But she shouldn’t be surprised, Rey realizes.  Because her beloved Ben is really the heartless killer Kylo Ren. 

Watching him standing before her in his knight’s uniform, Rey sees how he had shed his helmet, sword, gloves and surcoat before he had entered the castle.  But the rest of the trappings of Kylo Ren had been visible.  The black ship, the black clothes, the military boots.  How had she never made the connection?  Ben had told her that he had friends in the First Order, that they would do what he said, that he was helping the First Order find Luke Skywalker.   It had all been true, just not the complete truth. 

Rey feels like a fool.  Yes, what they say is true:  love is blind.

“I want a divorce,” she decides right then and there.  Announcing this despite the ten or more uncomfortable looking onlookers.  She can never stay married to a man she cannot trust.  And what girl would want to be married to Kylo Ren?  She says it again now with more conviction.  “I want a divorce!”

Ben looks back from some officer he’s talking to and says point blank, “No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’??”

Ben crosses his arms over his chest and plants his feet apart in a power stance that is unmistakably Kylo Ren.  “We got married on Chandrila.  I control Chandrila and all its law courts and judges.  Ergo, no divorce, Rey.”

“I married Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren,” she informs him.  “You lied to me and you lied to Chandrila!”

He shrugs.  “It doesn’t matter.  I can get the lawyers to change the records.  Til death do us part, remember?”

Til death do us part?   Rey’s eyes narrow.  “Does that mean I have to kill you, Ben?”  That comes out sounding very ugly because right now she is mad enough to kill him.  Well, sort of.  Definitely mad enough to hurt him.  But just a little.  Maybe just a scratch.  To get his attention and to make him understand the enormity of what he has done.

“You can’t kill me,” Ben scoffs and that’s provocation enough to set Rey off.  She thrusts out her left hand and with the help of the Force into it flies a blaster from one of his stormtroopers.  She points it right at Ben and now all the rest of the First Order guys onboard start scrambling for their own weapons.  Only Ben stands unimpressed.

“Well, go ahead and shoot me,” he drawls. “I can freeze blaster bolts, remember?”

“At this close range?” Rey challenges, raising one eyebrow.

He considers a moment.  “I don’t know.  Let’s see.  Shoot me.”

Uhhhhh. . .

“Well, go on, Rey.  Shoot me.”

Uhhhh . . .

He smirks and looks smug.  “Okay, then I guess we’ll stay married.”

And now Rey bites her lip, closes her eyes and adjusts her aim.  But now she has to hold the gun with both hands because it’s shaking along with the rest of her.

“Hurry up.  I’m a busy man.”  She senses him walk closer and that’s not what she wants.  Rey steps back fast. “Are you using the Force or just closing your eyes?” he asks.  “Because make sure you aim at me and not the major here.  I need that major.”

Uhhhh . . .

“I don’t have all day, Rey.” 

“I’m trying—“ she gripes as her eyes snap open.

“Try taking the safety off.”

“Oh.”  And now she’s poking nervously at the gun with trembling hands while the rest of the curious crew points their weapons at her.  And she doesn’t really want to kill Ben or hurt Ben.  But can’t he at least start explaining or apologizing?  And where is that blasted safety lock anyway?  Rey is usually good with mechanical things but not today.  She’s so frazzled and upset.  Now the gun slips through her sweaty fingers and slams into the floor.

Rey bursts into tears. 

This is the point when he’s supposed to take her in his arms and start apologizing profusely.  But he doesn’t.  Probably because he’s Kylo Ren and Kylo Ren isn’t sorry for anything he does.   

And that just makes Rey cry harder.

He sighs and steps closer.  “We will discuss this later, Rey.  Give me time to fix this.  In a day, things will be better.  In time, I will make this up to you—“

“You can’t!” she wails.  “You can’t fix this, Ben!”  She can’t unknow the truth and she doesn’t want to.  “When they came for me, I thought that you had been betrayed,” she gasps out between sniffs and hiccups.  “I thought that Nestor had betrayed you.  But it was I who was betrayed.”  The flood of tears overwhelms her a moment and all she can do is sob before him and all his men.  Finally, she looks up to find Ben staring at her looking forlorn.  “Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Yes,” he replies softly and they both know it for a lie.   

She calls him on it.  “When?” she demands.  “When were you planning to tell me?”

He doesn’t meet her eyes.  “Eventually . . . “

“Liar!” she accuses.  And now her initial shock and hurt crystallizes into anger.  For how dare he lie to her in this way.  And about something so important.  “Who are you?” she seethes. “Are you Kylo Ren or Ben Solo?   Tell me the truth.  I want to know.”

He pauses a long moment before answering.  “I am both men, Rey.”

“You can't be both!” she rails at him.  Rey rejects this notion out of hand.  “You can't be the galaxy's most notorious killer and be the man I know.”  Rey shakes her head, backing away now in unhappy realization.  Furiously, she wipes at her wet cheeks.  “I don't know you anymore!   Ben, you have broken my heart.”

“I was born Ben Solo,” he tells her softly.  “And when I was fifteen I ran away to become Kylo Ren.” 

“Why?  Why did you change your name?”

“The Sith always take new names, it’s a long tradition.”  She sees him glance over at their audience and heave a sigh before he reveals more of his past.  “Ben Solo was a Jedi padawan to Luke Skywalker.  And his Rebellion hero parents were too well known.  I had to leave that boy and that name behind.”

“For everyone but me,” she whispers.

“Yes.”

“Why?” she wails.  “Why did you lie to me?  Why did you do this?”  She had trusted him.  She had recognized his vague answers and evasions for what they were, but still she had trusted him.  And she had been a fool to do so.

“Rey, you were hurt by the First Order—“

“No!  You hurt me—you yourself ordered my torture!“

“If I told you I was Kylo Ren, you would never have been my student—“ 

“Your student?” she echoes hollowly.  “All I am to you is a student??  This was only about the Force??”  She asks the questions but she doesn’t really want to know the answers.  Because she knows him well enough to know that most everything is about the Force.  “All along, you have been using me for the Force, haven’t you?  You never cared for me, you wanted my Light.”  And now she thinks back on that disgusting Muun discussing her like she was the spoils of war to be divvied up in accordance with the hierarchy of the Sith.  Like she was chattel and not a person.  “I was just some plaything of yours, wasn’t I?   Something to one-up your Master on, right?  You put one over on him and you put one over on me, too!”

“Rey, if I told you that I was Kylo Ren, you would never have seen beyond the mask and the sword.  I am more than that.   Just like you are more than a scavenger.   I needed you to look beyond what everyone else sees—“

“You weren’t ever going to tell me the truth, were you?” she interrupts.

“I wanted to tell you.  I really wanted to tell you.”

He is sincere, she sees.  He wanted the benefits of his lie but he also wanted her to know the truth.  He wanted it both ways.  He had wanted it all.  Of course, because he is Sith.

Every so often in life there are moments when things become crystal clear.  When the truth that has eluded you rises up to confront you head on.  When the knowledge that you have run from will no longer be denied.  Staring at Ben—or Kylo—or whoever this man is, insight floods Rey’s mind.  Suddenly, she understands it all.

“Those visions on Mustafar—the visions of the man--they were not of Darth Vader.  They were of you!” she accuses.  “You are the hurt man who hides himself behind a mask!  Yes . . .”  she nods her understanding.  “You are the killer who plans to rule the galaxy and overthrow his Master!   You are the man who defies it all to marry the girl in secret and then loses her and pines for her.  The man who is tired of war but thinks it’s the only solution.  Oh Gods, it was you all along!  The Force was showing me the past so that I could understand the present.  And, oh, Gods, maybe the future too!”  Rey raises a hand to her mouth and looks horrified.  “You are him, aren’t you?--  You’ve always wanted to be him--”

“Rey—“

“You are Darth Vader all over again, aren’t you?  Oh, Gods, I am such a fool!” she cries bitterly.  “How could I not have seen it all along?  You always said that you were going to finish what your grandfather started.  You want to rule it all!  And you don’t care how you do it or who you hurt to do it, even if it’s yourself.  Even if it’s me.  Because you are a fool for ambition and a fool for power!”

“Rey—leave Darth Vader out of this—“

“You know everything there is to know about Darth Vader, but you missed the whole point of his life, didn’t you?  You’re so blinded by your hero worship that you can’t see what a failure that man was—“

“Rey—“ his voice has a warning tone to it.

And now so does hers.  “I’m not going back to your castle.  Ben, I won’t go back to Mustafar.  I am not going to be your Padme Skywalker!”

“Rey, you will get used to this—“

“The Hell, I will!  You’re going to drop me on Jakku and we are over, Ben.  Over!”  She raises a weary, trembling hand to her temple.   “I was always your prisoner, wasn’t I?  You never rescued me.  That castle is every bit as much a prison as the cell on your star destroyer.  Only, it was worse.  Because you made me like it—you made me think it was our home together . . . “  Her shoulders slump now as she looks away.  “Everything about our life together is a lie, isn’t it?  You are a lie and our marriage is a lie.  Our happiness is a lie . . . “

“No.  No, it’s not.  Kylo Ren is just a name, Rey, and you will get used to it.”  But even he sounds unconvinced of his argument because he starts making excuses as he mutters, “I told you I was Sith from the first day I met you.”

“Yes, but I didn’t really understand until now.  All those fairytales about power hungry evil Sith lords are mostly true, aren’t they?  You’re Kylo Ren, Darth Vader’s grandson, and you’re a Sith warlord who wants to rule the galaxy.”  Rey takes a deep, ragged breath now.  “Is there anything else you haven’t told me?”

“Yes,” he informs her curtly.  “But now is not the time or place for it.”

“Fine.  Whatever,” Rey turns away from him.  “I don’t care to know.  It doesn’t matter.”  She stalks over to stare out the window into deep space.  Wherever they have jumped to was a very short distance.  They look to be approaching a small, ice covered planet with a strange equatorial ring.  Rey ignores the planet and peers out the window to squint at a white wedge shape in the distance.  That’s not what it looks like, is it? 

She senses Ben step up close behind her.  He puts his hands on her shoulders.  She’s still mad—very mad—but the heat of her anger has diffused some as she reverts back to sorrow.  The sense of loss she feels is overwhelming.  “That is not Jakku,” she grumbles miserably.  “I want to go home to Jakku.”

His head dips close to her ear as he tells her, “Rey, you can never go home again.  Trust me.  You’re not that same girl anymore.”

The white wedge shape is what she thinks it is.  Looming ever closer is a First Order star destroyer that orbits the planet.  Rey frowns at it.  “I want to go home.  I want to be that girl again,” she whispers.  “The girl before the droid.  Before you.”

“You belong to me now, Rey.  Not to the desert.”  He kisses her cheek as they stand together looking out.  Rey violently jerks her head away but he ignores it.  “This isn’t how I wanted you to learn the truth, but I’m glad you know.  Things are going to happen fast now, Rey.  I’m taking you to my flagship.  You will be safe there while we test the weapon.  I don’t want you on base if the weapon blows.”

Rey closes her eyes as if to shut out her last memories of the ship whose docking bay the shuttle now enters.  “Don’t put me in a cell—please don’t put me in a cell—“ she pleads softly.

“I’m taking you to my quarters.  You will be safe there.”  His voice drops very low now and she can barely hear him.  “There are things I must do now, Rey.  My Master has forced my hand.  Know that I’m doing this for us.  So that we can be together.  Forever.”

And she shakes her head at his words.  He’s not getting it.  There is no way she will ever be with him.  And it’s not just because of his lie.  It’s because of what he’s done and what he plans to do.  She doesn’t want to be the wife of Kylo Ren.

They are docking now.  Evidently, his shuttle doesn’t have to wait in line the way the trooper transport Rey last arrived on did.  The uncomfortable sense of de ja vu makes Rey’s skin crawl.  Yet again, she has a bad feeling about this.  She turns and watches with Kylo as his crew disembarks first.  The shuttle is left idling.  It’s just her and Kylo left onboard.

“Rey, this is temporary,” Ben tells her as he tugs her to the ramp.  But she can’t shake the feeling that this is wrong, something is wrong and there is danger.   It’s the same sensation she had experienced earlier this morning at the castle.

“I want to stay here on the shuttle,” she decides. 

But Ben isn’t going for it.  “No,” he tells her gently as he jams back on his helmet and becomes fully Kylo Ren once more.  “You will be safe.  No one will hurt you.  Come.” 

And against her better judgement, she does.  Kylo leads her by the hand down the ramp into the First Order flagship _Finalizer_. 

Rey looks around at the controlled chaos that is the hangar bay.  Everywhere there are uniformed personnel busy at their tasks in the cavernous, starkly lit space.  When Rey last had been here she had been Rey of Jakku in desert rags and handcuffs.  Marched forward to a cell and to a broken face and broken arms and questions she could not answer.  The memories rush up to her now and Rey starts to panic.  So, she takes a deep breath and masters her fear.  Because Ben is right and she’s not really Rey of Jakku anymore.  She’s in a fancy white dress with fancy hair and a face of runny, smeared makeup.  And she stands at the side of her husband, Kylo Ren.  Maybe she belongs here in a way, Rey thinks.  And that’s a horrible thought.

She cannot shake the feeling that something awful is about the happen.  “Do you feel it?” she turns to Ben.   He is a stranger now in the heavy metal helmet.  Rey decides right then and there that she hates that helmet.  “Do you feel it too?”

He doesn’t answer, for up strides a cluster of officers with matters for his attention.  Feeling very alone now, Rey turns back to look at the idling shuttle.  And then her mind succumbs to the Force.

_She feels a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. A wave of death and destruction washes over her, leaving behind the scattered debris of civilizations gone and lives lost. Something terrible has happened._

_That's no moon. Is it a space station? A planet? She is not certain how to describe it other than as a weapon. It kills stars, destroys planets and drains suns in a heady rush of Darkness. And there is no preamble to the act. No deadline, no dialogue, no ultimatum. Just devastation. Whatever this is, this technological terror is now the ultimate power in the universe and someone is using it._

“Rey!”  It’s a distorted version of Ben’s voice and his gloved hands are shaking her back to the present.  “What did you see?”

She opens her eyes to a creature in a mask she doesn’t recognize and it frightens her.  Rey recoils, leaping back.  And now she backs away more, staring up at the fearsome Sith in black who is not the man she married. 

“Don’t be afraid.  Tell me what you saw,” he urges as she continues retreating.  And now Rey looks past him to the group of officers who stand in his wake.  Some look curious, some look bored and some look annoyed at her having distracted their leader.  These are his senior henchmen, she realizes.  This is the First Order who hurt her and they are about to hurt more people, she now knows. 

Rey wants no part of this.

“What did you see?” Ben calls.  He has both hands upraised as if to reassure her. Like he’s trying not to scare her away.  “Tell me!”

Rey glances over her shoulder at the shuttle.  The prepped, idling and vacant shuttle.   Then she looks back to Ben—no, to Kylo Ren.  For he is undoubtedly Kylo Ren in this moment.  The Force is telling her that very clearly.  It’s warning her again, she knows.  Whatever this weapons test is that he is so obsessed with, people will die from it. 

“What did you see?” he demands again.

“Alderaan,” she mumbles miserably.  “It must have been Alderaan.” 

Reflexively, Rey takes off at a sprint up into the shuttle, slamming the emergency ramp close as she runs by.  In seconds, Rey is in the cockpit slapping at the controls to break gravity as chaos breaks loose around the ship.  Shields—where are the shields?  She fumbles around looking for the controls as she feels the ship absorb laser blasts to its underside.  But as she rotates the shuttle and starts careening it for the air lock, she catches sight of Kylo Ren.  He stands on the ground below with one arm upraised.  There is a hail of plasma blaster bolts frozen in the air in front of him.  Blaster bolts meant for his shuttle.  Blaster bolts meant to stop her.  Maybe to hurt her. 

She doesn’t have clearance codes for the air lock and a ship this size probably has a tractor beam, but Rey is emboldened now to make a run for it.  She guns the engines just as another transport passes through the air lock and the stolen shuttle now slides past too. 

She’s at full speed racing away from the First Order as Rey hastily pokes at the navicomputer.  There are lots of pre-programmed jump coordinates she doesn’t recognize.  Probably other First Order bases.  Maybe Mustafar.  She definitely doesn’t want to go there.  Where is she anyway?  Somewhere deep in the Outer Rim near the border for the Unknown Regions.  Yes, if Coruscant is the bright center to the universe, then these are the planets that are farthest from it.  She’s wasting time, Rey knows.  She needs to jump somewhere, anywhere and ditch this ship so she can hide.  There, Rey decides as she scrolls down the list of nearby systems.  That one looks close by, it’s inhabitable by humans, and it’s even a desert.   Sounds perfect.

As the ship shudders and makes the jump to lightspeed, Rey releases that breath she has been holding.  She stares out at the blue undulating patterns, remembering a time months ago when she had first seen them.  She had been here in this very shuttle with Ben.  He had kissed her.  It had been her first kiss.  So soft, gentle and unexpected.  Maybe she had fallen for him then, Rey thinks.  For he was the mysterious tall, dark and handsome prince who had taught her the Force and so much more.  First, he stole her heart and then he stole her trust.  And now, Rey thinks bitterly, she has stolen his shuttle. 

Rey gets to work searching for the transponder.  There has to be a transponder on this ship.  Maybe even several.  An hour later, she has disabled three of them and shut down most of the main computer system as well, hoping that means any automatic uploads and downloads will not betray her location.   Rey has worked to rehab and strip clean enough stolen ships on Jakku to know how to subvert the normal security devices used to locate a lost ship.

An hour later, Rey is standing in the cockpit when the ship reverts to normal space.  A bright orange-yellow planet baked by twin suns looms into view.  From this distance, it looks like Jakku.  That is comforting.

Goodbye to her beloved Ben, she thinks as she blinks back a fresh flood of tears.  Good riddance to the monster Kylo Ren.  Hello to this world Tatooine that is about to become her new home.


	15. Chapter 15

Kylo has toyed with this idea for months now as he has sat through long, boring meetings and com calls led by the pompous General Hux.  Alternating between clear resolve and cowardice.  And that's to be expected because you don't attempt to kill your Sith Master lightly.  Especially when it’s old Darth Plagueis who has endured any number of assassination attempts through the years.  Darth Sidious came the closest to success and he only managed to sideline the old Muun for a few years.  But if this plot succeeds, his Master will be no more.

 

In a perfect world, Kylo would have learned more from Plagueis by now.  But this is how it will have to be.  Because that old Muun is long overdue to die for any number of sins.  But chief among them is hurting Rey.  Then, threatening to make him kill Rey.  And worse of all, leering about taking Rey for his own wife.   And so Kylo’s mind is made up.  Darth Plagueis needs to die.  And today presents the best chance that Kylo is ever going to get.  When he left his Master earlier today, he had been but the learner.  But soon, Kylo Ren will be the Master.

 

He can't forget the look on Rey’s face when he had pulled off his mask.  And he can't unsee her tears.  In all the time he has known Rey, never has he seen his tough girl cry.  She’s the grin and bear it type who endured torture in stoic silence.  But today she had cried over him.  That’s how badly he had hurt her.  It’s not all his Master’s fault, he acknowledges.  He himself had created the situation for his Master to exploit.  And his good hearted, abandoned scavenger girl who finds it so hard to trust had blindly believed him.

 

Until today.

 

Rey had learned the truth in the worst possible way and at the worst possible time.  He couldn't sit with her to explain and comfort her in private.  Instead, it had been an ugly confrontation in front of witnesses.  And he hadn't had the time to bring her back to the familiar comfort of Mustafar to cry it out on Vanee’s shoulder.  Instead, he had marched her out of his shuttle onto a ship on which she had been tortured.  And so, of course, she had run.  Survival is Rey's default setting.  Powerless to stop her short of shooting her down, Kylo had let her go.  Watching the girl who had been content to live in his castle flee in his stolen ship had felt surreal. 

 

Kylo hasn't fully processed it yet.  There hasn't been the time.  And besides, he can't allow himself to think about it.  He needs to stay focused. 

 

Hux is finishing up his longwinded pep talk outside to the assembled Starkiller troops.  And it's not a moment too soon, Kylo thinks.  While the general and his senior officers freeze in the cold, Kylo stands the ranking member in the Starkiller command center.  He is completely unnoticed as he slips new coordinates to the chief gunner along with some heavy suggestion from the Force.  So as Hux orders the weapon to fire and the Starkiller erupts into destruction, Hosnia is not the target.  The target is a small uninhabited moon located on the border of the Unknown Regions and the extreme Outer Rim.  The moon hides a secret bunker known to only the elite of the First Order.  And in that bunker resides his Sith Master Darth Plagueis the Wise.

 

Kylo stumbles back suddenly.   He alone feels the shockwave in the Force that heralds the demise of the most powerful Sith lord the galaxy has ever seen.  Kylo rides the crest of all that Dark power, drinking it in and claiming its legacy for his own.  In an unbroken line of Sith from Darth Bane down to himself, one by one the Apprentice has risen to overthrow his Master.  And so the cycle has repeated today.  Oh, this revenge is so satisfying Kylo thinks as his mind bathes in Darkness, wallowing in its unlimited power.  The demise of Plagueis combined with the awesome terror of the Starkiller is an orgy of destruction that only a Sith can appreciate. 

 

Around him officers at instrument panels are shouting about a targeting malfunction and there is panic and fear.  But Kylo ignores it.  Calmly, he marches to the front and silences the room by announcing that the test has been a success.  Then he orders that the weapon be recharged for its next target. 

 

Hux and his direct reports have flooded the adjacent conference room in an uproar of shouting and blame.  They don't yet understand what has occurred.  They see that Hosnia exists and they assume that the Starkiller is a failure and not a resounding success.  Kylo watches for a moment from the doorway.  Then he steps inside and quiets the room by lighting his sword. 

 

All eyes turn to him. 

 

"Supreme Leader Snoke is dead," Kylo announces.  "I am the Supreme Leader now."  Darth Plagueis is dead, long live Darth Ren.

 

The room gapes at him.

 

Kylo twirls his sword once as he stalks further into the room.  "Does anyone have a problem with that?"

 

No one speaks up.

 

"General Hux?" Kylo barks over to the Starkiller’s commander.

 

The redheaded general sighs as he stands tall. "Am I your next casualty, Ren?" Hux asks plainly. 

 

"No.  Go outside and give another speech.    Make it a good one and this time record it for the cameras.  I want it live broadcast over the holonet.  We are recharging the weapon now.”

 

"What do I say?" the general stammers.

 

"Tell the galaxy that today is the last day of the Republic.  That the First Order will bring peace, freedom, justice and security to our new Empire.  The Hosnia System is our next target."

 

The Starkiller takes out Hosnia and its moons, and then moves on to the Ilenium System where the Resistance hides.  His mother and her cronies manage to launch a full-scale assault before they themselves are destroyed.  This turn of events is very convenient, as it happens.  One by one, Kylo picks through the crowd of senior officers and other command center personnel at the Starkiller.  Kylo orders back to the _Finalizer_ General Hux and the others he likes, respects or needs.  The rest remain behind to mount an unsuccessful defense against the Resistance pilots.  Ultimately, the Starkiller meets its end in a fiery implosion.  As Kylo Ren had long predicted, the oscillator was indeed a weak spot. 

 

What little is left of the Resistance heralds this as a great victory.  But, in truth, Kylo Ren does not mourn the Starkiller.  It has fulfilled its purpose.  And Darth Ren is too wily of a Sith to permit such a weapon to exist on the off chance it could be used against him the way he himself had used it against his Master.

 

Kylo thinks that in a way Darth Plagueis would be proud of him today.  The old Muun Sith went out in a blaze of glory, probably immersed in his books in his beloved library.  His death had been instant and catastrophic, and all in all, that’s a good way to go.  Maybe it is a bit cowardly not to have used the traditional methods of a sword and the Force, but when faced with the opportunity the Starkiller presented, Kylo couldn’t resist.  And he thinks his old Master would have understood that.  Darth Plagueis was a Sith through and through, so he knew the risks and would respect Kylo’s choice.  And no doubt he would have understood the motive, too.  For few things are more prized by the Sith than revenge. 

 

Two days later, Kylo arrives home to Mustafar in professional victory but personal defeat.  The galaxy now calls him Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and old Vanee greets him on one knee and addresses him as ‘my lord.’  But there is little satisfaction in it.  His accomplishments may have lasting ramifications but the glory of their achievement has been fleeting.  All Kylo feels is empty now.

 

“Where is Rey?” Vanee asks straightaway as he struggles to his feet. 

 

“She is gone.”

 

The old caretaker looks down and sucks in a quick breath.  Clearly, he misunderstands, for he says quietly, “I hope it was quick, my lord.  I hope she did not suffer.”

 

Kylo looks at the old servant’s face full of resigned sorrow.  It’s a sorrow he too feels for the loss of Rey finally has begun to sink in.  “She is alive, Vanee.  Rey knows the truth and she is gone.”

 

The old man nods and looks visibly relieved.  “He told her, then?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“His death was revenge?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Old Vanee nods solemnly.  “Congratulations, my lord.”  Long has this man served the Sith.  He knows their ways. 

 

They walk together in silence into his grandfather’s castle.  It feels especially empty now without a pair of bright eyes and a warm smile to greet him.  Kylo refuses dinner, unwilling to eat alone.  Suddenly, it feels strange to eat alone at his castle.  Instead, he stands looking out at the lava scenes and broods.  Like Darth Vader must have done long ago.

 

Today he has finished what his Sith grandfather had started.  He has conquered the galaxy and ascended to the rank of Sith Master in the time-honored tradition of assassination.  The New Republic is gone, the Resistance is decimated and his mother is dead.  His uncle is still out there, so that is left undone.  But Skywalker is all that remains of the dream of reestablishing the Old Republic.  And unless the Jedi reemerges from exile, there is nothing to stop him now.  At last, Kylo can make things the way he wants them to be.  The conflict is over and he can bring order to the galaxy.  Maybe even a sort of peace.  Once more, the Sith rule the galaxy and that masked Sith warrior is a Skywalker named Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

 

But it is the private man Ben Solo who now looks out yellow-eyed and tearful on the Hellish landscape where his grandfather was burned alive.  The lava fields of Mustafar were where Darth Vader had come to relive his pain and wallow in his grief.  And, in turn, to gain strength.  But it is the interior of the Mustafar castle that is his grandson’s locus of pain. 

 

As he wanders the rooms, everywhere there are reminders of Rey.  From his bed they had shared to her datapad lying where she left it on the table.  Here is the couch where she had first entered his mind.  There is the kitchen table she used to stain with lubricant when she oiled the droids.  Her clothes still hang in a neat row in the closet and they still smell faintly of her perfume.  One of her shoes peeks out from under the bed.  This time around, the master of Mustafar castle doesn’t need a portrait of his lost love to gaze upon.  He only needs to live here to be surrounded by searing memories.

 

Rey was right, Kylo knows with certainty.  He is his grandfather all over again.  Triumphant and alone.  He thought she saw the past in the Force, but she had also seen his future.  Recklessly, Kylo had gone careening straight for it and the consequences be damned.  But Rey had opted out of reliving the past.  She had refused to be his Padme.  And so when his lie had caught up with him, she had fled.  Taking her smile and her giggle and her Light with her.

 

There is a lesson here, he thinks.  Be careful what you wish for.  For now he stands master of all he surveys.  He has everything he thought he ever wanted.   But he is lacking the one thing he never knew he needed.  And that knowledge is humbling.  For without Rey, he feels weak. 

 

Old Darth Plagueis would counsel him to focus on his pain to gain strength from it.  But all Kylo feels now is weakness, terrible weakness.  He has destroyed billions of people and murdered his Sith Master in a contagion of destruction and death.  Kylo knows without looking that his eyes are yellow.  They will always remain yellow now.  For he has grown impossibly Dark as his coup d’état has played out these past few days.  His deeds have stained his very soul.  And therein lies the weakness.  For as he has skewed too far to one extreme, the Force beckons him back.  He is a Skywalker, the latest in the line of Chosen Ones for whom the legacy of balance has long been foretold.  And so, tonight, alone in his castle, this very Dark Sith craves the Light more than ever.  

 

She is out there, he knows.  Somewhere hurt and hiding from him is his Rey of Light. 

 

End of Part One

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to go dream up Part Two of this story. I hope to start posting again in a few weeks, so please stay turned. This tale isn't over yet.


	16. Part One Notes

Hello and thanks for reading!  I’m sharing some of the thought that went into Part One in hopes it deepens your enjoyment of the story.

 

Looking from a big picture sense, the setup for this fic is not that different from my dark Reylo tale _Fulcrum_ , in that Rey is a quasi-prisoner in Darth Vader’s castle with Kylo haranguing her to learn about the Force.  Here Rey makes a choice to stay but she’s manipulated into it all the same.

 

It is important here that Rey has no contact with the Resistance.  She’s fresh off Jakku when Kylo finds her, without the important broadening experience of meeting Finn and Han Solo and Chewie.  She’s never been introduced to the Force or touched Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber.   Rey’s first meeting with Kylo is more akin to Luke Skywalker meeting with Obi-Wan Kenobi in his hut on Tatooine.  And Kenobi, like Kylo in this story, is more than a little heavy handed and manipulative in swaying his young protégé to learn the Force. 

 

This plot construct is intended to remove some of the context of galactic politics from the Reylo relationship in this tale.  The I’m Resistance/You’re First Order conflict appears a lot in _You Need a Teacher_ and it’s sort of a tried and true built-in conflict that the lovers have to get past.  And, assuming the writer is not redeeming Kylo, that means Rey has to be brought around to seeing the First Order’s viewpoint (which happens in _Immune to the Light_ and to a lesser extent in _Fulcrum_ ).  Then the story becomes all Stockholm Syndrome or speeches about politics and, to be honest, I’m tired of writing that. 

 

But if you take Rey out of the context of the Resistance, then you also have to take Kylo out of the context of the First Order.  He can’t be introduced to Rey as Kylo Ren with all the baggage that comes with it.  So, in this tale, Kylo is hiding who he is and calling himself Ben Solo.  Rey meets him as his private self in his private world.  Their relationship grows removed from the surrounding war. 

 

Why is Kylo doing this?  Well, the obvious answer is that Rey was tortured by the First Order and so he knows she won’t be receptive to his Kylo Ren alter ego.  But the deeper answer is that Kylo’s whole motivation for Rey is his call to the Light.  And when he approaches the Light, he does so as his former self, Ben Solo. 

 

The motivation for this story came from a mom’s coffee in January for my little son’s preschool class.  The hostess, who I didn’t know, was talking a lot about her experience going to the Women’s March for the US inaugural.    She went around the room asking women if they marched.  It was sort of her icebreaker.  Well, I didn’t march.  Some of the moms didn't march either but they contributed to causes that were part of the march.  Basically, everyone participated in some way but me.   The hostess asked me “Why?  Aren’t you a feminist?”  Uh—how do you answer that?  The correct answer in the circumstance was “Yes.”  But the answer I gave—a too honest answer for this crowd—was “Yes” and then a bunch of qualifications.  And, oh dear, I wasn’t planning on being a lightning rod.  I mean, I thought we would have low key mom bonding talk about potty accidents and sight words and not an intense political discussion.  The hostess' follow up question is "But you are a Democrat, right?" And then I make another mistake because I say "I vote for people in both parties" and this is true on a routine basis.  And, oh dear, the hostess then tries to smooth things over and says, "I'm not trying to put you on the spot, I just want to know who you are."   And then, thankfully, then conversation moved on. 

 

Afterwards going home I got to thinking about the labels we put on ourselves and others.  They are useful constructs to shorthand who we are, but rarely are they the full story.  We all stretch the boundaries of those designations, maybe even transcend them or upend them.  But still, they matter.  And so I was intrigued to think of Light and Dark as being more fluid concepts too.  You can be Dark and still called to the Light.  And Kylo Ren can be a Sith and still be Ben Solo.  Because we are complicated people, not easily summed up and sometimes full of contradictions. 

 

Rey sees the past in the Force, not the future.  This was motivated by rumors that Ep 8 will have a lot of flashbacks.  But I thought it was also a fun riff. The future is always in motion, so it's changeable.  But what about the past?  It's changeable too in the SW universe and in real life.  Because how you perceive what the past is and what it means depends on your point of view. 

 

Case in point:   The American Civil War.  I grew up in the American South where the Daughters of the Confederacy coexists with the struggle for racial equality and understanding.  That war means different things to different people and maybe all the viewpoints are valid--I'm not sure.  But where I grew up, recently they have changed the names of public high schools that were named in honor of Confederate heroes in a strange George Orwell type attempt at apologizing for the horrible injustice of slavery.  The past that was once defiantly revered is now disdained because we see it through fresh eyes.  In my story, Rey is a pair of fresh eyes for Kylo’s beloved Darth Vader. 

 

I have written more than my share of Reylo tales, each with a slightly different version of the main characters.  But each has an element of Stockholm Syndrome to it, to varying degrees.  This time, I wanted to write a tale where the main characters meet on at least ostensibly more equal footing.  I wanted a setting without a war context (war is practically a protagonist in _Fulcrum_ ) and without all the upfront First Order-Resistance/ Jedi-Sith conflict.   This story is the reverse of my others that start with conflict and must progress to the romance.  This story starts with romance and progresses to conflict. 

 

This Rey meets Kylo before she meets the Resistance and learns the truth of Ben Solo's past from Han Solo.  She doesn't know to fear him.  This gives me a chance to write Rey as she might act towards a regular guy she meets and likes.  I think that Rey is intrinsically nice and sort of playful. Maybe even a little goofy.  Definitely girlish.  We get a glimpse of this when she puts on the helmet sitting outside her AT-AT on Jakku and when we see her sliding down the dunes.  Yes, she's a survivor but I didn't want to overplay the tough-as-nails Rey that seems to be such a popular characterization.  I see her as a girl who is tough by necessity but not a naturally aggressive personality.  This is a softer, less damaged Rey than in my other tales.  And when you take her out of the cruel world of Jakku, some of that toughness fades.  It's still there for when she needs it, but it's not front and center. 

 

Kylo also sheds a lot of his aggressive tendencies when he sheds the trappings of Kylo Ren and assumes his Ben Solo alter ego.  I like to think that Kylo leaves a lot of his Sithness  behind "at the office" with the First Order.  His life at the castle is an escape from war and the responsibilities of his command.  Kylo is isolated by his war and his rank and by the fear everyone has for him. He's not completely alone, but he doesn't have a confidante until Rey shows up.  It's not the most open relationship since Kylo keeps a big secret from Rey.  But much of what he does tell her is the truth. 

 

I also wanted Kylo to be curious about teaching the Force.  The Force is the initial way that he connects to Rey.  It's what makes them both special and gives them a commonality to share.  I also like the idea of a Kylo who is crazy for the Force and wants to pass it on.  For that guy, there is nothing hotter than a girl with the Force. 

 

Part One has an amazing amount of fluff.  Way more fluff in one huge chunk than you usually get in my stories.  (I’m sure some of you were thinking—wait, we are up to chapter 10 and no one has died yet??  And there’s been no Skywalker throwdown yet???  What gives, BlueEnvelopes?)  It was really fun to write the fluff even though I worried that the story bogged down a bit. But in order for Kylo's big reveal to have an emotional punch, our lovers need to build trust and find contentment together.  Usually, my stories have to build to this level of togetherness (it took _Fulcrum_ about 30 chapters to get to this tragic fluff) but this one starts happy and devolves from there.  It's sort of the opposite of the usually tortured love story. 

 

I debated whether or not to marry Reylo and decided to go for it.  Of course, it's not my usual Sith wedding so it's not the ultimate commitment (certainly, old Snoke wouldn't even consider them to be married at this point).  But I wanted to create some connection between our lovers to exist at the end of Part One.  Rey is sort of talked into the marriage, as she gets talked into many things by Kylo along the way. 

 

My Sith are always some version of a predator in my stories--even if their motives are good, they have an element of entrapment and manipulation in how they deal with women.  This Kylo is a prime example.  He basically kidnaps and lies to Rey for months, maneuvers her into bed and into marriage.  He's not that far off from the abusive _Fulcrum_ version of Kylo, only that Kylo would have been overt about it all without caring.  ( _Fulcrum_ Kylo:  Yes, I kidnapped you and hurt you--get over it, Rey.  Now come to bed, princess). 

 

Along the way, this Kylo accidentally falls in love because there is a lot of truth mixed in with his lies and the bubble he creates for her turns out to be a bubble he welcomes himself.   And that's the irony of it all--Kylo gets as caught up in the lie as Rey is.  They are both trapped. 

 

And then Snoke comes along to ruin everyone's fun.  You knew that was coming, right?  Snoke is a minor character in this fic but he asserts himself in the usual ways.  He's his usual wine swilling, lecherous, overbearing self.  If you have read my other stuff, you know Snoke is always in the background pulling the strings in ways that Kylo doesn't always see coming. 

 

Yes, Snoke is always my ultimate baddie who swoops in to mix things up.  And, in typical Snoke fashion, he can be quite devastating even if he doesn't physically hurt you.  When Snoke confronts Kylo, he pushes all the buttons with both Rey and Kylo to maximize the pain.  He reveals the lie to Rey and then lets her know how tenuous her connection to Kylo is, implying she could be killed or handed over to Snoke at any time.  He makes clear that she is a temporary diversion to Kylo and they have no real long term future.  Plus, he forbids any more Force training.  That pretty much ends any benefits Rey is getting out of the relationship.

 

Of course, these threats are the incentive Kylo needs to kill his Master.  And so, finally, Snoke dies in one of my fics.  I have long resisted that plot point because Kylo Ren is not quite ready to rule the galaxy just yet.  More on that in Part Two probably. 

 

Vanee is, of course, Snoke's/Vader's/Kylo's old zombie servant Milo who appears in all my other tales. Apparently, he's now a named canon character in Rogue One.  He’s a minor character here unlike in _Fulcrum_ where he is a very good buffer between Rey and Kylo and, to some extent, a voice of conscience to Kylo.

 

Things are looking bleak for our lovers now.  Kylo has hit a very dark place and things are about to get very tough for Rey too.  I'm going quiet for a few weeks to go dream up Part Two.   I have some ideas but nothing has gelled yet.  I know when I'm ready to write because then the story just pours out.  When the writing is slow going, that just means it's not fully thought out.  So, check back with me later for the continuation. 

 

Thanks again for reading. I hope this was enjoyable for you. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, I think. Because I kinda, sorta think I might know where this story is headed. As always, I'm writing mostly real time so bear with me on updates. Here's a little intro to get you in the correct mood. Our Sith is back and he's not in a happy place. But you weren't surprised about that, right?

Part Two:  Present and Past

 

The tall, caped and masked Sith stands on the bridge of his great ship.  Very still, with hands clasped behind his back.  This is his custom and he can do it for hours at a time.  Around him, officers look up to take furtive peeks at their commander, then quickly avert their eyes.  It is best to look busy when he’s in one of his moods.  Otherwise, you might end up dead.  For rarely does this man give a warning.  He simply acts.  And that is the decisiveness that won him the galaxy.  In the abstract, it’s admirable.  But in practice, it can be hard on morale.

There are a few who have seen him without the mask.  Every now and then he summons an officer to his private quarters and someone gets a glimpse.  But those guys never talk.  And the Knights of Ren he used to lead never talk.  And so the rumor mill churns out imagined explanations.  He is burned, some say, mostly bald and hideous to look upon.  Others maintain that he is young and handsome beneath it all.  And there are persistent whispers that he has yellow eyes just like old Palpatine did.  He can hear your thoughts with those eyes, they claim.  But no one knows the truth and all are afraid to ask. 

This man’s past is as much a mystery as his face.   He’s not military, and that’s all anyone knows.  The veterans of the war—the longtime lifers among the officer corps—say that many years ago he just appeared one day with his black apparatus and his red laser sword.  Back then, no questions were asked and none were answered.  It’s the same today, for this Emperor has none of the faux charm of his politician predecessor.  When he speaks, it is in short commands or in sarcasm.  But mostly, he lets his sword and his blue lightning do the talking. 

For years, he has scoured the galaxy in between battles.  Searching, always searching.  He had been searching for the Last Jedi back then.  Wanting to settle an old debt with an old man he blames for the chaos of the past thirty years.  No one knows if he ever actually found Skywalker, but most assume he did.  A lot happened that day the war simultaneously flared up and then ended.  Taking the old Supreme Leader, the Starkiller, the Resistance and the New Republic down as casualties along with it.  Presumably the Jedi too.

He is still searching now.  And this quest seems equally obsessive and personal.  Who is she, the newly promoted intel guy asks.  Why are we looking for this girl and can’t we get a better picture of her?  She's a Jedi with the magic Force, his CO replies.  That photo is from when we had her in custody.  She got the standard treatment.  So, she is a Resistance sympathizing enemy of the state, the new guy muses.  The Sith overhears and interrupts.  She is my wife.  The new guy is too green to have a good poker face.  He is taken aback as he looks over at the battered face of the girl in the picture, noting her age.  What kind of asshole takes a teenaged bride and then tortures her, he thinks to himself.   No wonder this girl left him. 

That's the last thing the new guy thinks before the red sword lights and flashes down.  Then calmly the tall, caped and masked Sith stalks back to the bridge of his great ship.  He resumes his brooding.


	18. Chapter 18

Rey pulls up to what's left of the stolen shuttle.Over a year in the desert has faded the glossy black paint to mottled grey.Sandstorms and the wind have piled sand high underneath the landing struts and partway up the lowered ramp.Everywhere there are signs that other scavengers have been here before her.Still, the very sight of the abandoned ship is comforting.Because if it's still here undisturbed, then her hiding place on Tatooine has yet to be uncovered.Plus, the longer this ship languishes out in the open, the less recognizable it becomes and the more secure she is.

 

Rey climbs off the speeder bike she has borrowed from the droid factory.She lifts the thin blue blanket that covers the sleeping baby strapped to her chest.The noise and motion from the bike had put little Benny to sleep.And that's just as well.Sleep is what her sick baby needs right now.

 

Sleep is what she needs right now too, Rey thinks, as she stifles yet another yawn.Benny still doesn't reliably sleep through the night when he isn't sick.But he has been up all hours for the past three nights.Rey needs to get that medicine if her baby is going to get better and they are both going to get some rest.

 

And that's why they are here.Rey is hoping to find something of value to salvage and sell from the shuttle.She has to pay credits for the medicine because she can't mind trick the medic droids.Mind tricks only work on sentient beings, she's learned.

 

Rey stops at the foot of the ramp and stares a long moment.Then sighs.She has avoided going back to the abandoned shuttle for many reasons.But it’s mostly because she hasn’t had to scavenge.Rey is keeping her head above water on Tatooine just fine.She has a job in a droid factory maintaining and repairing the manufacturing equipment.The pay is decent and the job is easy.Her coworkers are mostly nice and she's friendly outside work with a few.There's even a cute guy who's a supervisor on second shift who has asked her to grab a cup of caf with him some morning before work.He's a former stormtrooper whose name is Finn. Rey didn't say yes but she didn't say no.She's thinking about it.

 

Still, single motherhood is hard.Especially when you have no support from family or friends.Just like back on Jakku, Rey is responsible for everything by herself.And now that responsibility includes Benny as well.But Rey didn't let Jakku steal her joy and she's not going to let Kylo Ren do it either. Her life on Tatooine might not be what she had hoped or expected, but she's muddling through.On the whole, she's far less impoverished here than on Jakku. And, she thinks as she strokes Benny's downy black hair, at least she's not alone.

 

Rey indulges in another moment of quiet reverie.Then she grabs a wrench from her work toolbelt and heads up the ramp in search of something valuable.She tries to stay focused, but it’s hard.Just being inside Ben’s ship raises memories she tries to avoid.And that makes her brush back tears.But twenty minutes later, she's heading down the ramp and ready to go when a voice calls out to her.

 

“Hello there.”It’s an old man in sandy desert robes standing next to her borrowed bike.Next to him is a speeder bike he must have rode up on.

 

“Hello,” Rey replies warily.She’s on alert.Not because this man looks threatening, but because he feels threatening.He has a very large, very strange Force imprint.It’s not Dark like Ben’s.It’s just different.And it’s far larger.This man must be Force-sensitive, she thinks.But he’s not hiding it, so he must not be a Sith.

 

“The jawas have probably picked this ship clean,” the man calls to her.“Those scavengers don't leave much.”

 

Is he here to jump on her find?Rival scavengers were always trying to jump her find back on Jakku.So, Rey is vague when she answers.“I found something.”

 

She walks down the ramp to find that the man is circling the shuttle now.Appraising it with an experienced eye.“This ship didn't crash.It was parked here and left.”

 

Rey just shrugs.“It's been here a while. Nobody owns it.I'm not stealing, I'm scavenging. There's a difference,” she maintains.

 

He nods his silent agreement.“How did you know it was here?” he asks as he turns back to Rey.“This is pretty far from Mos Eisley.”

 

“I found it one day when I was out exploring,” Rey lies.It’s a mistake, because the man turns his attention to her as if he knows it’s a lie.Now he’s looking at her, almost through her, with piercing silver-blue eyes.Then he blinks, she blinks, and the moment is lost.Maybe she imagined it.Just being near the shuttle makes Rey feel jumpy.

 

“Who have you got there?” the man asks as his eyes settle on the baby strapped to Rey’s chest.“I can’t see much, but what I can see is cute.What's his name?”

 

“Benny,” she mumbles.

 

The old man nods approvingly at this choice.“I knew a Ben once.He was a strange old hermit who lived out beyond the Dune Sea.Not far from here.”

 

Rey doesn't know where the Dune Sea is. “I'm not from this world,” she says as she walks over to her bike.Rey watches as the old man's eyes dart to the corporate logo printed on its side.

 

“You work at the droid factory?” he says casually.

 

“Yeah,” Rey confirms.She might as well.

 

And that’s a mistake because apparently the old guy wants to talk. He pulls at his beard and starts to reminisce. “Mos Eisley has changed a lot since I grew up here.It’s cleaned up.There were never any factories or legitimate businesses back then.It was mostly smugglers for the Hutts.”He fixes his peering silver-blue gaze on Rey again.“So why are you scavenging?Doesn’t the factory pay well?” the stranger wants to know.He asks this in the forthright way that old people tend to pose questions.

 

Rey shoots him a look but tells the truth this time.“My baby needs medicine and pay day isn't for another three days.”That prompts Rey to check on the still sleeping Benny.His fever is peaking again and he feels hot."Hang on, Benny" she whispers." I’ll get you help soon."

 

The old man looks concerned now.He crosses his arms and pulls at his thick beard again.“How old is he?”

 

“Six months,” Rey says offhand as she climbs on the bike and starts flipping the warm-up switches.

 

“Where do you come from?” the old timer asks as he looms closer.And now, Rey feels threatened again.She makes it a practice not to reveal anything of her past unnecessarily.No one needs to know that she is Rey, originally of Jakku and lately of Mustafar Castle.

 

So Rey concentrates a moment in the Force.She mimics the mind trick she first saw Ben use long ago on Chandrila.It has come in handy a lot here on Tatooine.“You don't need to know where I come from,” she says softly with concentration.

 

The old man raises an eyebrow.Then he smiles.“That only works on the weak minded, Rey.It won't work on me.”

 

Rey?How did he know that her name is Rey?She stammers now, “Well, uh. Goodbye.”The speeder bike is warmed and ready to go.Rey puts a protective hand over Benny and shoots the old man a hard look as she pounds the accelerator.

 

And then, they are away.Leaving Ben’s shuttle and the peculiar old man behind them.She and Benny make it through that crisis and keep muddling through the next and the next.Rey catches sight of the old man every now and then on the streets of Mos Eisley and sometimes in the market.He makes her nervous.When once he smiles in her direction, Rey just looks away.She had been mind-tricking a vendor as they bargained over secondhand baby clothes at the time.The old man’s amused and knowing smile had broken her concentration and the mind trick had failed.There had been no deal on the baby clothes.Without the help of the Force, they had cost too much.

 

Most of Rey’s problems on Tatooine relate to credits.Kids cost a lot and there are unexpected bills that crop up here and there.Like when Benny abruptly weans himself at nine months and she has to start buying expensive baby formula.Like when the landlord raises the rent when she goes to renew her lease.Plus, Rey is still learning to manage real credits.She’s getting better at it--learning to save a little each month and being smart about when she pays her bills.Most months, being short is more of a timing issue than anything.Rey wishes the factory paid weekly, but instead it pays once a month.So, from time to time, she ends up using the Force on a cashier or sometimes her landlord.It's not her favorite thing to do, but Rey is determined to give her son what he needs.And she’s not above bending the rules with the Force to make it happen.

 

Rey hangs on to her wedding ring as long as possible.She's not really sure why. When finally she sells the ring, Rey knows that she is getting taken. Were she to sell it on a Core World to a reputable jeweler instead of a Tatooine pawn shop, she might easily quadruple her money.But she can't justify owning the ring when its sale will pay for things Benny needs.And in the hierarchy of sacrifices Rey is prepared to make for her son, the ring seems rather small. 

 

But selling the ring dredges up all the old hurt of Ben Solo.And, once again, Rey’s tears start to fall.She realizes now that she had been the perfect victim for the predator Sith.She was the throwaway orphan who had no one to miss her and who had no one left behind to miss.She was the impoverished girl who was grateful for food and water and gleeful over pretty clothes and lip gloss.Unknowing fool that she was, Rey had quite happily settled into her castle prison.She had the Force but she had no real education or sophistication to see through his lies.And she had been so lonely, so needy, so pitifully grateful for his attention.Altogether, it had made her the perfect dupe.

 

Vanee had known, of course.So had that family on Coruscant with the wife who had tried to warn her.But otherwise, Kylo Ren had kept her hidden away from prying eyes who might let the truth slip.No doubt he would have been ashamed of her if their relationship were to become public.The Emperor of the galaxy doesn't consort with a poor uneducated orphan from Jakku.He has a polished Core World beauty on his arm.Someone who others can admire and emulate.Not a blah looking skinny girl with sun damaged skin.

 

Rey wonders from time to time what Ben’s endgame had been.Probably she would have lived her whole life on Mustafar never being the wiser.And Ben would have gone on to have a public wife and kids on Coruscant while he kept her as the unsuspecting girl on the side.Returning now and then to her bed whenever his Dark deeds meant he needed a hit of her Light.For that's the crux of the matter, Rey now sees clearly.All along, he had been using her for her Light.It had never been about her as a person.It had only ever been about the Force.It's the only thing that makes Rey of Jakku special, she knows.And it's the only thing about a backwater girl like her that would have interested a worldly man like him.

 

Rey can’t figure out why Ben had married her—that’s the only piece of the puzzle that doesn’t quite fit.Naive Rey would have been happy for things to remain as is indefinitely.Ben had been the one pushing the marriage and gifting her with the extravagant ring.There are times when she thinks that Ben truly did care for her and his insistence on marriage proves it.That’s why she waits so long to sell the ring. For far too long, she hangs on to the hope that something about their relationship had been real and true.

 

There are two silver linings to her experience, Rey decides after much soul-searching.Meeting Kylo Ren had forced her off Jakku and out of the rut of waiting for a family who was never coming back. And meeting Kylo Ren had given her a family of her own in baby Benny.

 

Once Rey had thought Ben Solo to be the best thing that had ever happened to her.But now she knows that her son Ben Solo is the best thing ever.He's high on her shoulder now, sucking his thumb in peaceful baby sleep.Rey inhales the scent of him and it contents her like nothing else.She had been shocked and scared to discover she was pregnant but it had all turned out fine.She named her son for his father, for the man she had loved, for the husband she had married.Yes, it had been a lie.But for a long time, it had seemed very real.Her happiness had been very real, too.And so when the nurse at the hospital had come to fill out the birth records, in a moment of postpartum nostalgic weakness Rey had named her son for the secret alter ego of Kylo Ren.

 

The staff at the factory and at the onsite daycare all believe her to be a Starkiller widow with a posthumously born son named for his martyred father.It's sort of true and it's an explanation everyone accepts without question, so Rey goes with it.On a First Order Rim world like Tatooine, there are plenty of war widows and orphans. Rey is far from unique.For as it turns out, she is in good company.There are many, many victims of Kylo Ren.


	19. Chapter 19

_All slaves are defiant. Because when you control someone enough, they will rebel.  When you limit someone's dreams, they will go looking for alternative paths.  And when you rob someone of the right to make their own decisions, they will always crave power.  And so the prodigy slave boy from Tatooine has long had an issue with authority._

_It's a double-edged sword because the authority he balks at is also the authority he seeks.  For everywhere this bastard child goes looking for a father.  First, to the kindred spirit Jedi Master who found him and freed him.  Had he lived, this man might have understood him.  Next, to the journeyman Jedi who raises him and teaches him.  Equal parts big brother and rival.  And along the way, always in the mix, the secret Sith Senator who mentors him and believes in him.   Biding his time and watching from afar as other conflicts ripen._

_All his life, the Chosen One slave boy will call someone Master.  But never father._ _And so one random day when the hero Rebel pilot’s identity is discovered, his heart skips a beat.  And then, true Sith that he is, he begins to plot.   Even if he never gets to call someone father, here is a boy who he can call son.  And here is the chance to be the father he always wanted and never had.  The trouble is, he doesn’t know how to be a father.  And so when they first meet, it does not go well._

 

Kylo blinks and his vision shifts back to the here and now.  His mind quickly retreats from the Force and into the present.  He’s standing next to Nestor Ren on the rooftop landing platform adjacent to Nestor’s family apartment in Coruscant.  Watching his friend’s young daughters play as he drinks beer in the late afternoon sunshine.   He’s trespassing again on Nestor’s humdrum domestic happiness, incognito and unrecognizable currently as Emperor Ren.  

 

At his side, Nestor takes another swig and glances up at him.  “You know you have a garden and a landing pad at that fancy new palace of yours.  It’s much nicer than this.  Doesn’t have screaming kids either.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“Are you ever going to move in?”

 

“It's too big.” 

 

“You live on a star destroyer when you're not crashing on my couch.  That's far bigger than your palace,” his friend points out.  Nestor Ren, now the First Knight of Ren, is the only man in the galaxy who can call bullshit on his Emperor.  And he does so, regularly.  Kylo secretly likes it because these days, he’s mostly surrounded by yes-men and sycophants.

 

“It's too empty.  It's not a home like the castle.”  Mustafar Castle used to be his home.  But he rarely goes there any longer.  He had asked old Vanee if he wanted to move to the Coruscant palace, but the old caretaker tactfully declined.     

 

“You haven’t been to the castle in months.  Boss, you've got to move on.”   Nestor says this gently.  When they talk obliquely of Rey, Nestor drops all of his habitual teasing and curses.  His friend feels responsible, Kylo knows.  And so Nestor keeps trying to fix things.

 

“I don't want to move on.”  He doesn’t want to have this conversation again either.

 

But Nestor doggedly presses forward.  “You're the Emperor of the galaxy and you're head Sith now.  You can get any girl you want, you lucky dog.  You should be sending out the troopers for a new one each night.” 

 

Kylo makes a face.  “You make me sound like a Hutt.”

 

“Hell yeah, why not?  You can keep the really hot ones chained to your throne.   Just like a Hutt.”   One of Nestor’s daughters starts to squeal now and both men look over.  No one’s hurt, but it can be hard to tell the difference between little girls’ ear piercing screams of delight and screeches of pain.  Nestor calls over to one of his brood, “Yes, I see you, princess.  That’s an excellent cartwheel,” Nestor commends with laughable seriousness.

 

Kylo smirks.  “You talk a good game for a pussy whipped old married guy.  Look at you up here babysitting your kids and talking of chaining up hot girls.”

 

“It's not babysitting when it's your own kid, Kylo.  It's called parenting,” Nestor informs him. 

 

“Is that what this is?  Because I thought you were drinking beer and watching the world go by.”

 

“That too,” Nestor agrees affably.  It’s actually very hard to piss Nestor off.  For a fierce fighting man, the First Knight is pretty chill.  It’s why they work well together, Kylo has long known.  Because he himself is anything but chill.

 

“You know Cesi has a single girlfriend who's cute.  She's a redhead.  Maybe you should meet her.”

 

Kylo reflexively shoots down this idea.  “I like brunettes.”

 

“You used to like blondes.”

 

“What's the matter with her?” 

 

“What?”

 

“Why is she single?”  The cute ones who are single are always bitchy or high maintenance.  And those are two things Kylo hates in a woman because they remind him of his mother.  Rey was never either of those things, he remembers wistfully.

 

“She’s a Starkiller widow.  She was married to some captain.  But it’s been almost two years and she's done grieving and ready to move on now.  Maybe you should meet her,” Nestor tries again.

 

“So I killed her husband?”  Kylo just looks away.  He’s killed lots of husbands.  Wives and children too.  “She won't like me.”

 

“The Resistance killed her husband. And you're the Emperor.  Of course, she'll like you.”

 

That comment rubs Kylo the wrong way.   “I'd prefer to be liked for myself and not my power,” he scowls. 

 

“I thought you Sith guys were into power trips,” Nestor slants him a glance.  Then he gets back to pimping out the redhead.  “She's hot.  Beautiful smile. Her girl is in my kid's nursery school class.”

 

“She's got a kid?”  That’s a dealbreaker for Kylo. 

 

“Yep.  Four-year-old girl.”

 

“Then, no thanks.  I don't want my own kid let alone some dead captain's kid.” 

 

Undeterred, Nestor spouts the conventional wisdom.  “Kids aren't so bad.  When you meet the right girl someday, you'll have kids.” 

 

He did meet the right girl.  But he fucked it up and his Rey had run from him.  Kylo just shakes his head.  “My family is fucked up.  We don't need another generation of dysfunction.” 

 

Nestor shrugs.  “Everyone thinks that about their family.  We’ve all got freaks and black sheep in the family tree.” 

 

“We take it to a whole new level,” Kylo says sourly.

 

“Yeah, well, Cesi’s got a cousin who fought in the Resistance.  And her aunt died young as a spice addict.  Or maybe that was a great-aunt.  I forget.  But we’ve got our share of embarrassing relatives.” 

 

What is this—a competition?  Well, there’s no competition because when it comes to dysfunction the Skywalkers always win.  “Nestor, I killed my own mother.  My father is a criminal I haven't seen in years.  My uncle is alive but in hiding because he knows I plan to kill him too.”  When Nestor says nothing, Kylo keeps going.  “My grandfather on my mother’s side cut my uncle's hand off the first time he met him.  Grandpa also tortured my mother and froze my father in carbonite just to see if it would kill him.  I never met my grandmother because she died in mysterious circumstances.  No one knows the relatives on my father’s side because that asshole was disowned in his youth.”  Kylo looks to Nestor now, “Should I go on?  Because there’s more.”

 

“Ok, you win.  That is fucked up.”  Nestor reverts to playing cupid again.  “So how about a girl who doesn't have kids?” 

 

“I’m still married, Nestor.  I'm not cheating on Rey.” 

 

His friend sighs and finishes off his beer.  “Kylo, this is my fault.  That Muun fucker got in my head and he saw—“

 

“It was bound to happen eventually,” Kylo cuts him off.  “I couldn't keep her a secret forever.”   There’s no point in playing the blame game and he doesn’t fault Nestor for what happened.  The fault belongs with his Master and with himself. 

 

“How long are you going to keep searching?” Nestor asks quietly.

 

“Until I find her.”

 

But finding Rey turns out to be a real challenge.  The problem is that none of the normal ways to investigate and find a person work for Rey.  She has no known friends or family or job she will check in with via a traceable com call or message.  She doesn't have a credit card or transaction records to follow as a paper trail.  No trade license or work permit or identification papers either.  She has no known habits or destination other than Jakku.  And though he keeps that world crawling with informants, she never appears.   He's not surprised. 

 

Despite all the high-priced bounties advertised in unsavory quarters and the galaxy-wide alerts posted at every stormtrooper barracks, there are no useful leads.  The problem is the generic description.  There are billions of young human brunettes with thin frames across the galaxy.  And the one photograph of Rey in First Order custody isn't very helpful.  Her beaten face probably tends to generate sympathy too.  Plus, amid all the wanted fugitives in the galaxy, this one is nonviolent and not sought for any crime.  In practice, that makes her a lower priority for local authorities, Kylo knows. 

 

Finding Rey turns out to be just as hard as finding Luke Skywalker.  Only there’s no map.

 

His stolen shuttle has never been found either.  The trackers had been disabled before the craft had exited hyperspace, so Rey’s initial destination is still unknown.  She probably sold the shuttle for parts, he surmises.  Because if his ship had appeared intact for resale it would have been located by now.  Even if it were painted and modified somewhat, its unique design would still be recognizable.  The First Order has standing orders to report any suspicious ship that shows up in the major hyperspace lanes.  But almost two years later, there have been no sightings. 

 

Other than his shuttle, Rey had left with only one possession of any real value and that was her wedding ring.  It finally surfaces over a year later in an exclusive jewelry store on Coruscant.  The provenance of the ring is predictably murky.  It had changed hands several times in the Rim before a sharp-eyed merchant recognized its undervalue and snapped it up.  The story the merchant tells is that the ring was originally pawned by a woman who said she needed money to feed her kids.  The Order tracks down the prior seller and she tells a version of the same tale.  It was pawned by a woman with three kids who needed money to buy medicine for her baby.  The trail goes cold after that.  Kylo never finds the original buyer who might verify when or where the ring was bought and from whom. 

 

And so, for almost the past year, Kylo has found no clues to help him locate Rey.  She could be anywhere, he knows.  Even dead. 

 

Old Snoke would tell him that there is growth in loss.  But Kylo can find no character building amid the mix of regret and pain he feels over Rey.  In his quiet, private moments of despair, Kylo reminds himself that it took Vader three years to find his uncle.   So, he reasons, he can't possibly give up on Rey before at least three years have passed.   And if he hasn’t found her by then?  Well, he will consider that at the time.

 

As usual, his grandfather’s experience gives him comfort.  Darth Ren wears Darth Vader’s cape now.   The spare one Vanee had kept at the castle all those years.  Wearing the cape helps Kylo feel less alone.  And the new Emperor in his mask, hood and cape harkens back to the iconic images of both his grandfather and old Emperor Palpatine.   Only this time around, the Emperor and his enforcer are one and the same.

 

There’s no real reason for Kylo to hide his face any longer.  The Resistance is gone and his connections to Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker no longer matter.  But Kylo is constantly in his full regalia now when he’s not at Nestor’s home or at Mustafar Castle.  Like the cape, the mask honors his Sith heritage.  It hides his yellow eyes that people find so unnerving.   And it hides Ben Solo, the boy who his parents, his uncle, his teachers, even his Sith Master, had so often found to be disappointing. 

 

It’s funny how years later as an adult all those feelings of inadequacy remain.  The voice in his head had long ago internalized all those criticisms even if he grew to chafe at them.  Because there’s something about being fourteen that always stays with you.  Even when you are the undisputed Emperor of the galaxy, you are always that lost kid who no one understood.   And maybe that’s why the abused grow up to be abusers and why the bullied grow up to be bullies.   For the pain you are shown becomes the best way you know to show pain to others.  And for the unlucky ones like himself, that pain becomes something of an identity.  Who is he?  He’s the rejected kid and failed Padawan who rebelled spectacularly to prove to the entire galaxy his self-worth and his power.  But the joke’s on him, for even the murderous Sith Emperor Kylo Ren still gets rejected.  For the only person who had ever looked upon him with admiration and trust had left him in the end. 

 

And that is something he can’t seem to get past.   Time does not heal all wounds.  Especially the self-inflicted ones.  Objectively, he understands Rey’s rejection and he recognizes his own role in it.  But the sting of Rey walking out of his life just compounds the sting of all the prior criticisms and rejections that had come before it.   And so, he is stuck there.   Old Darth Plagueis had long ago counseled that the best remedy for a painful past is a vision for the future.  That’s why Emperor Ren has any number of new projects underway to remake the galaxy.  But they don’t seem to capture his imagination, fuel his zeal, and feed his soul the way he needs.   

 

He is adrift and rudderless.   Stuck.  For this first time in his life, Kylo has neither parents nor a master to guide and discipline him.  And there are no goals left to focus him.   Save killing Skywalker, they have all been achieved.  And so long as his uncle remains in hiding, the Last Jedi might as well be dead anyway.   Kylo Ren is thirty-three years old and he rules the galaxy.  He ought to be having the time of his life.  But he's not.  He's miserable.

 

An unhappy Sith is not a good thing.  In the rush to consolidate his power, Kylo has been ruthless in eliminating his enemies both within and without the First Order.  The bloodbath that began with Hosnia continues for months.  He clears out his prisons and work camps with mass executions.  Protesters and dissidents receive no quarter.  He had promised to bring law and order to the galaxy and he does.  But along the way, he leaves a river of blood.

 

Kylo Ren has all of the power now.  Despite a few isolated pockets of Resistance sympathizers on Core Worlds, there is no one left to oppose him.  He ought to be happy, right?   He’s not.  He’s miserable. 

 

He knows now why business moguls who make their fortunes young retire to create foundations and begin crusades to right life's wrongs.  Because when you have achieved the work of a lifetime before age fifty, you need to move on to those works that are not achievable.  To the fool’s errands like ending poverty, abolishing hunger and bringing equal justice for all.  For once you accomplish the possible, it's time to strive for the impossible.  Because those are the only challenges left that matter.

 

The Force must know that he needs guidance.  For after that fateful day--Second Empire Day as it is officially called or Starkiller Day as it is popularly named--Kylo begins to see his grandfather in the Force.  He can't explain why it takes using and losing the Starkiller, killing his mother, killing his Master and losing Rey to break the logjam in the Force that has long separated him from Darth Vader.  But something happens that day.

 

His visions of his grandfather are sporadic and mostly they are a jumble of impressions.  Kylo genuflects over them time and again to no avail.  The only commonality among them is that they involve Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.  And that is both annoying and provoking.  For Luke Skywalker is the sole surviving member of his clan, the very Last Jedi, and the remaining thorn in his side. 

 

The Force must be urging him to kill his uncle, Kylo reasons.  For the visions portraying all that father-son conflict only serve to highlight how his uncle had walked away from everything Kylo has ever wanted: the power of the Dark Side, the chance to rule the galaxy, and a supportive family standing at his side.  Only a fool like Luke Skywalker would be stupid enough to fuck up the chance of a lifetime, Kylo thinks.  It was all offered to him, his for the taking.  And he had still screwed it up. 


	20. Chapter 20

_It is the most natural act, as old as life itself.  But that does not make it easy or painless.   A woman lies in childbirth, her face and figure obscured but her gasps and grunts of pain clear.  We may leave life peacefully, but rarely do we enter it so._

_The woman is in hiding, the birth will be a secret.  For there is a husband, a father, and he is Sith.  Once he had threatened the woman, nearly killing her for a betrayal.  Because this woman had chosen the Jedi, she had sought the Light, she had rejected her Sith._

_Her secret boy child will be watched over unaware as he grows.   Hidden out in the open on an obscure world that is so obvious that no one will think to look there.  Years later, a Jedi will hand the boy his father's sword and urge him on to a damned fool's idealistic crusade.  All will go as expected until one day when the boy grown will meet the Sith._

_"I am your father," the Sith will reveal and the boy will deny it.  For few people recognize the truth when they hear it.  “_ _Join me and we can rule the galaxy,” the Sith urges and he means it.  But this Jedi boy takes one last, long look and lets go.  He would rather die than be Sith._

_It is the ultimate rejection._

Kylo shakes off the Force vision.  As usual, this one was a confusing mashup of his family history, heavy on the drama and light on the exposition.   Interesting, but not particularly illuminating.  Sort of depressing, really.  What’s the point in revisiting all the mistakes of someone else’s past, Kylo thinks.  Thankfully, those aren’t his problems. 

At his side, an underling informs him that they will be landing in five minutes.  Today is one of the few days a month that Kylo Ren sets aside for site visits.  The new Emperor is determined not to be holed up in his palace like old Palpatine had been.  Growing ever more out of touch and beholden to Vader and others to relay the true state of things.  No, this is a new era and a new Emperor who is visible and in person on a regular basis.   Just like during the war, Kylo Ren is a leader who is on the ground and in the midst of it all.   A man of action, as the friendly holonet pundits laud him.

Mostly when Kylo appears in public, it’s in the Rim.  The Rim is the First Order’s base of power and the galactic region that interests him the most.  And while his goodwill tour also happens to be good politics, it has the ancillary benefit of putting him on far flung worlds where Rey might hide.  His runaway wife might change her appearance and her name to elude his dragnet of spies, but she cannot conceal herself in the Force.  And so, Kylo makes a point of meditating deeply in the first few minutes when his shuttle lands on a new world.  Casting his consciousness far and wide to detect if Rey might be near.   It’s the one small way in which he himself can personally search for her.

By design, then, his appearances are not made public in advance.  Kylo Ren is not the insecure politician Sheev Palpatine had been.  He doesn’t need crowds to make him feel loved.  In fact, he hates crowds and he refuses to meet and greet with the proletariat.  Plus, as a longtime fighting man, Kylo Ren knows that crowds are an unnecessary security risk.   His PR team has learned to spin this in the best possible way, of course.  Releasing any number of candid photographs after the fact to show the galactic Emperor as a dogged servant of his people, camera shy about his economic development works, and interested more in the stated purpose of the visit than in the public spectacle of it all.

None of this is true, of course.  Kylo finds these visits to be very tedious, bordering on annoying.  Especially, when he’s on the fourth such visit of the day.  Thank the Force he wears a mask so that no one can see how bored he is by it all. 

It’s hard to get excited about anything these days.

But this is the only visit of the day that Kylo has looked forward to.  Normally, the Emperor does not make appearances at lackluster second rate factories even if they are funded by First Order seed money and financed by one of greedy old Snoke's venture capital funds.  But this droid factory is located on the backwater wasteland world of Tatooine.  There is something appealing about marching onto Darth Vader’s and Luke Skywalker's home world as the Sith Master Emperor Kylo Ren.   So when an aide had suggested this factory visit, Kylo had surprised both himself and his staff by accepting.   He'll go there even though desert worlds are not his thing.  It’s hot and he hates sand.  He'll be a dusty mess afterwards and that's not a good look for a black robed Sith Emperor.   But this is the Skywalker home world and so it’s worth it.  And maybe the triumph of it all will cheer him up.

"Make it the usual.  And, one hour, tops," he tells his assistant as he tries to muster some enthusiasm.  Time to get this over with.  He can't waste all day at this factory.  He will show up, walk through the place, listen to someone give a speech and then depart.  After that, it’s back to Coruscant and back to the _Finalizer_ that has become a permanent fixture in its planetary orbit.

But the moment the shuttle touches down, Kylo senses the ripple in the Force that betrays the presence of another Force user.  And a powerful one at that.  Now, he is intrigued.   Perhaps he has caught old Uncle Luke on a trip home to the ancestral moisture farm.

"Bring the extra squad with us," the Emperor orders as he disembarks.  All his senses are on alert now.  “Keep them with me and keep the TIEs in the air.”

It's the usual dog and pony show assembled to greet them.  Kylo lets his officers do the talking.  Emperor Ren does not converse or shake hands.  He stalks past the kneeling local dignitaries into the factory and that's when he senses the Force user again.

His jaw drops beneath his mask. 

The Force user is Rey. 

* * *

 

All week, Rey’s supervisor has been acting strangely.  Nervously hovering and requesting extra equipment checks and unnecessary preventative maintenance on the machinery.  Everything has to be in perfect working order because there is a special visitor coming.  When Rey asks who the visitor is, her supervisor doesn’t know.  Rumor has it that it’s the CEO bringing some investors and bank executives.  But her boss isn’t sure.  He just knows that his boss told his boss that if anything breaks or malfunctions they will all get fired.  

Rey isn’t scheduled to work the morning shift when the special visitor will arrive.  But her boss rearranges the roster to ensure that Rey will be present.  You’re my best tech, he tells her.  If anything goes wrong, I want you to be here to help mitigate the damage.  Rey smiles and blushes at this endorsement of her work.  She’s proud of her skills and happy they are recognized.  Maybe this means she will get a raise next quarter.  She could really use a raise.  At almost thirteen months, Benny is getting big to carry around all the time.  It would be nice to have some extra credits to buy a stroller.

Rey arrives early for work at the appointed day and runs through all the standard checks.  There are three production lines at her factory.  Two of the three lines are always kept running while the rotating third line is taken out of service to be oiled and inspected.   This ensures that the factory churns out new droids all day, every day without disruption.   This morning, everything checks out perfectly, as planned.  All three production lines are up and running in hopes of impressing the special guest.  Now all Rey has to do is sit back and hope nothing breaks.

The first sign of trouble are the pairs of stormtroopers who arrive unannounced to stand guard at the factory floor entrance and exit.  Immediately, Rey’s sense of danger is pricked.  She takes a deep breath, telling herself not to panic.  Then, she calmly walks to the exit.  Tatooine is a First Order world, so she sees stormtroopers in town all the time.   But this is no routine patrol from a local unit.  This is security in anticipation of the special visitor who Rey now surmises is from the First Order.  Perhaps this is some general.  Maybe even the famous loudmouth redhead General Hux.

It’s probably nothing to worry about, she tells herself.  But just to be on the safe side, she’ll go check on Benny.  If anything goes wrong, she wants to be near Benny.

The troopers at the exit take a quick look at Rey’s bright orange company jumpsuit with its prominently displayed identification badge and nod as she passes through the doorway.   Rey is headed next door to the administration building.  That is where the white collar jobs at the factory are housed and where the break room and small childcare center are located.  Yet again, Rey successfully passes by a pair of stormtrooper guards.   And now she is inside and heading to grab her son.

Benny is beginning to wake from his morning nap when Rey quietly walks into the nursery.  She grabs her boy and her bag of baby supplies, telling the childcare workers that she’ll be back in ten minutes.  She’s on break and she’s going to take Benny outside for some air.  If anyone thinks it’s strange, no one comments.  Everyone is too busy speculating on who is visiting and why.  Rey asks them if they know, but it’s a mystery to them too.

Rey is past another pair of troopers, out the door and around the corner at a brisk walk when she hears the sound of ion engines very close by.  Rey’s heart stops as she looks up.  Settling down onto the open sand field next to the factory is a familiar black shuttle.  No, it’s not the same shuttle.  That shuttle is rusting out in the desert.  This is a new ship.  With a bigger ventral cannon, no battle damage and heavier shielding.   And hovering close overhead are four TIEs flying escort plus another secondary shuttle. 

Now, Rey starts to panic.  She ducks around a building and off come her hardhat and safety glasses.  Then she sets Benny down and starts stripping off her telltale orange jumpsuit that bears her picture and her assumed name.  Underneath, Rey wears her normal street clothes—a simple brown tunic and a split skirt.   She’s much more anonymous in these clothes and instinctively Rey knows it is to her advantage to blend in. 

She also knows that the change of clothes might fool the troopers but it won’t fool the Sith.

Is he close enough to sense her in the Force?  Is she the whole reason for this prearranged visit?  Rey doesn’t know.  But she’s not sticking around to find out.  She takes off at a run, heading for the center of the ramshackle spaceport town.  It’s morning and it’s a market day so many people are out and about.   Rey hopes to get lost in the crowd, steal a transport and head out of town.  If she can get far enough away, perhaps she and Benny will be safe. 

But by the time she reaches the town center, Rey worries that the local troopers are hunting for someone.  They are stopping speeders instead of directing traffic as usual.  And their guns are drawn and not on their backs or in their holsters.   Is this heightened security for today or is this a manhunt for her?  Rey isn’t sure.  She dashes around the corner to a dive bar cantina.  There are always unattended bikes and landspeeders parked outside, she remembers. 

But today, unfortunately, there are also troopers.

“Can I see some identification, miss?” an approaching trooper asks politely.

Rey concentrates a moment.  “You don’t need to see my identification,” she says purposefully.

The trooper slowly parrots her words.  “I don’t need to see your identification.”

“Move along,” Rey urges softly.

“Move along,” the trooper answers and waves her by.

That was close, Rey thinks.  And now she’s off to find another place to steal a transport.  This is taking too long and she’s wasting time, Rey worries.  But it’s hard to get anywhere quickly in Mos Eisley.  This backwater spaceport is a small town that grew too fast without any actually city planning.  Coruscant’s famed urban managers would cover their eyes in horror at the absence of any basic north-south, east-west street grid with concentric loops.  Here on Tatooine, the roads and walkways twist and turn abruptly into blind corners and dead ends.   And so when Rey rounds the corner heading towards the main grocery depot, she heads right into a squad of six troopers in red and black marked armor.  These men are not from the local garrison, Rey sees.  These are the elite shock troopers of the First Order. 

“Stop right there!” the leader calls. 

Rey freezes.  Then turns and sprints. 

She has the advantage because she knows the town layout.  But she’s running through sand in heavy steel toe work boots and carrying a twenty-pound baby with a bulky bag bouncing on her hip.  It’s only a matter of time before she is overtaken.  She has to steal a bike or a speeder fast.  Rey decides to circle back another way to the grocery depot.  There are always bikes and speeders idling out front.  It’s her best chance to get away.  Maybe her only chance.

Are the troopers are getting closer?  Rey isn’t sure.  She’s afraid to turn and look.

This part of town is a rabbit warren of twists and turns.  Rey is weaving through partly on memory and partly on instinct.  Thankfully, the troopers haven’t started shooting yet but that might just be because they can’t get a clear shot amid all these curving pathways and other pedestrians.  Her heart is pounding and her chest is heaving and Rey is very, very scared.   She hugs her squirming baby close, hoping to shield him from any shot from behind. 

Please, she thinks, let them shoot stun bolts.  Benny would probably survive a stun bolt. 

And now Rey hears ion engines again and looks up.  Oh.  She had forgotten about the TIEs.  One is hovering directly overhead.  It has an aerial view to easily spot her moving through the sparse crowd.  No doubt her precise location has been relayed to all the troopers in the city by now.  Rey’s heart sinks.  This just got a whole lot harder. 

And sure enough, as she rounds a corner into another intersection, Rey runs right into a set of reinforcement troopers dispatched to cut her off.    She darts into the only escape route.  It’s a small alleyway. 

And it’s a dead end. 

She’s caught.


	21. Chapter 21

Tatooine.  Of all the shithole planets in the galaxy, it had to be Tatooine.  Of course, because Rey is a Skywalker now.  He might have known the Force would fuck with him this way.   He accidentally stumbles onto his runaway wife he has searched years to find and she’s on Tatooine.

 

Wait--what is he thinking?  Kylo stops himself.  This is Rey, she is found, and this might just be the best day of his life.  Thank you, Force.  Thank you, shithole Tatooine.

 

Now, he has to do this right.  He can’t screw it up.

 

Rey is surrounded by six troopers with guns raised as he walks up.  Kylo stands and stares a moment.  Rey has her back to him and her head down as she hugs her arms to her chest.  It's a defensive posture that matches the fear that radiates out to him in the Force.  All he can see are Rey’s long braid and the bag that is slung crosswise over her shoulder to rest on her hip.   The bag looks as secondhand and well-worn as the clothes she wears.  He watches her shoulders lift and fall as Rey pants from the exertion of the chase. 

 

None of what his eyes tell him is remarkable or even that surprising.  It's what his mind tells him that has Kylo taken aback.  In the two years since she has left him, Rey has grown considerably in the Force.  Her Force imprint is simply enormous now.  It is gorgeous, shining Light.  It takes his breath away with all its tantalizing possibilities.   And it is familiar in ways he can’t quite place.  Nostalgic, even.  But, oh Gods, feel all her Light.  It is the most bewitching thing Kylo could ever behold.  Here is all the love, forgiveness and acceptance this Dark Sith so desperately craves.  And here is the woman he loves who alone knows the man beneath the mask.

 

Yes, Rey is everything he could ever want and need.   Now, he just has to get her home.

 

"Rey," Kylo begins.

 

But she overrides him without so much as a glance back.  “Go away!  Leave me alone!”  Her shout is hoarse and ragged with fear. 

 

"You know I'm not going to do that," Kylo answers quietly as he motions for the men to fall back.  He knows that Rey is going to make a run for it and he doesn’t want a trigger-happy trooper taking her down at close range even with a stun bolt.  Today he will reclaim the Light with mercy.  For Rey, he will show uncharacteristic restraint.

 

At his approach, Rey throws her head over her shoulder and hollers, "Go away! Leave me alone!"  Then she hangs her head lower as she huddles in the corner against the wall. Her fear doesn't surprise him, but her posture does.  This isn't the girl he remembers lifting her chin and staring him in the eye that first night in his castle. This isn't the girl who had glared up at old Darth Plagueis looking equal parts annoyed and indignant.  This is a girl who is afraid and showing it.  And that saddens him.  Their time apart has been hard on Rey, Kylo sees.   If she will just make this easy and come quietly, then things will be better for both of them.

 

“I offered you better than this, Rey.  That offer still stands.  Come home.”  Kylo continues speaking softly as he walks closer.  He’s hoping to calm her down.  To disarm her with kindness since she is expecting violence.  He will be Ben Solo even though she is expecting Kylo Ren.

 

But it’s not working.  His reputation must precede him because Rey is cowering now.  Literally shaking, he sees.  Doesn't she know that he won't hurt her?  He would never hurt her.   

 

Again, she yells, “Leave me alone!”  

 

But she doesn’t want that.  She might think she wants that, but she doesn’t.  If she will just give him a chance, they can reclaim their happiness.   They can go back to the way things were before.  “Rey, turn around and tell that to my face.”

 

She shakes her head and pleads, “Please--just go away!”  Then she shifts a bit and he hears a muffled cry.

 

He reaches for Rey’s arm now and she shrinks back and whirls to make a run past him.  But he anticipates her and holds tight.  Kylo is so focused on her face that it takes a moment before he sees what she is hiding in her arms.  

He freezes.  This he had not expected.

 

"A baby.  You have a baby," he states flatly.   Kylo sucks in a breath and swallows hard at this news.   Then he releases her arm and takes two steps back.  For once, Emperor Ren is taken aback. 

 

He has a kid.  Oh, Gods, he has a kid.  Kylo has not seen this coming.  Now he understands why there had been no useful leads from all the bounties and security alerts.  Because his galaxy-wide dragnet wasn’t looking for a pregnant woman and it hadn’t been seeking a woman with a child.  No doubt his minions had wandered by Rey time and again mentally crossing her out of contention for the missing woman.   She had remained safely anonymous all along.

 

Fuck!  He has a kid.  How did this happen?  This wasn’t supposed to happen.  His eyes narrow behind the mask.  They had taken steps to prevent this.  He stares a bit longer in stunned silence.  Then he rasps, “Is that my kid?”

 

She doesn't answer.  Her eyes sweep over the troopers standing behind him with their guns cocked and aimed.   And no doubt behind the troopers there is a growing crowd of pedestrian onlookers.  Nothing brings out the locals like a show of force.  Yes, there are far too many witnesses to this confrontation, Kylo is well aware.  But it doesn’t matter.  He will just kill those within earshot who have loose lips. 

 

The silence weighs heavily between them and Kylo again demands an answer.  "Look at me, Rey, not at them.   Is that my kid?"

 

Rey’s gaze comes back to him.  Her eyes brim full of tears.  "No,” Rey shakes her head as the tears spill over.  “He's not yours.  He’s mine!"

 

Not his?   What exactly is she telling him?  What the fuck has she done?  Now, Kylo’s voice has a warning tone his men know to fear.  Because the best day of his life might just have become the worst.  "Rey--"

 

"He's mine!” she spits out.   “He's not yours!  This is not your son, Kylo Ren."

 

Through the Force, Kylo senses the truth behind her words.  Rage fills him.  His sword automatically leaps into his hand to light.   In a split second, he has it poised at Rey's neck. 

 

"What did you say?" he growls.   She's not making sense unless she’s telling him that she has cheated on him.   And suddenly Kylo doesn’t know what he will do if Rey has cheated on him.  Because he doesn’t want to kill her.  He has never wanted to hurt her.   But if she has cheated on him . . .

 

Rey's eyes are wide and she starts backing away.  But there is nowhere to go and quickly she is against the wall.  "Don't hurt him!  Please don't hurt him!” Rey wails.  “He's just a baby--"

 

Kylo edges the sword tip closer now and Rey shrinks back in horror.  Her eyes dart between the sword and his mask.   "Who, Rey?   Whose child is that?"

 

"The baby is his, not yours!" she confesses unhappily.  But it’s still not the answer he needs.

 

"Who, Rey?"  He has spent two years celibate and pining for this woman but she apparently has moved on.  Whoever her new lover is, Kylo decides, he's a dead man.  "Who is the father?"

 

"Please don't hurt him!  You can't hurt him--"

 

Kylo shifts his sword now from her neck to just above the squirming child.  Reflexively, Rey smooths a protective hand over the baby’s head, wincing as she singes her bare fingers.  Her movement dislodges the blanket that shields the child.  Kylo now looks down on a thick head of baby fine black hair that matches his own.  And now his original suspicions reemerge.  Something tells him that kid has big ears too and maybe also a big--

 

"Ben.  His father is Ben Solo," Rey reveals.  "Not you!  Never you!"

 

“Ben Solo,” Kylo repeats as he processes this news.  Fuck, it is his kid.  He’s relieved.  He thinks.  But now Kylo hates how history keeps repeating itself.  Here is yet another Skywalker boy living on the edge of poverty on Tatooine.  Hidden in obscurity and waiting for the Force to intervene.  Kylo drops his still lit sword down to his side.  "Oh, Rey, you should have told me--"

 

And now, the truth keeps tumbling out of Rey’s trembling lips.  “I named my son for him.  For the man I loved.   For Ben.” 

 

“Ben,” he echoes.  “He’s called Ben?”

 

“Yes,” Rey confirms and looks away.  “I named him Ben Solo.”

 

“Oh, Rey—“  He has a namesake son.  Named for his better self.  His secret self. 

 

She gathers the boy closer to her protectively.  Wrapping her blistering and burnt hand around the back of the squirming baby’s skull.  “Please don't kill him!” she begs.   “He's just a baby!  None of this is his fault.  Have mercy—please!”

 

Her words wound him.  And offend him.  "Do you know me so little, Rey, that you think that I will hurt him?  My own son?"

 

“I don't know you at all!” Rey cries out.  “I only know what you’ve done, Kylo Ren.”  Her face hardens.  Rey looks determined.  “You can't have him,” she decides firmly.  “He's mine!”

 

And this show of defiance is more like the Rey he knows.  Even though she is rejecting him, Kylo takes heart.  Now he reverts back to offering the carrot and not the stick.  “Come home, Rey.”  He reaches out to her.  Beckoning her forward with a black gloved hand.  “Come home.” 

 

“N-No—“

 

“I can take whatever I want, Rey.  You know that.  Don’t make me force you.”  Kylo still has his lit sword buzzing in his right hand.   It might not be raised to her face, but the threat is there all the same.   “Come home.  Now.”

 

Rey shakes her head.  “You c-can't have him and you c-can't have me.”

 

“You're already mine, Rey.  Now, come home where you belong.”  Again, he beckons to her.  

 

“I’m not yours,” Rey vows and her tone is ugly.  “We're over!  We were over on Starkiller Day two years ago!  I deserve better than you, Kylo Ren.”

 

“Maybe so,” he concedes.   Kylo turns off his sword and moves closer.  “But you definitely deserve better than this, Rey.  Now, let me take you home.   The baby too.”

 

“Our home was a lie!  You are a lie!” Rey snaps.  She makes a face as she looks away.  “Please just leave us alone.   We’ll be fine.  If you ever cared for me, please go away--“

 

“You know I can't do that.  Not now, Rey.”  Not ever.

 

He reaches to touch the child's head and the baby turns around to look at him with dark, dark eyes.  As soon as he sees the masked warrior Sith who is his father, the boy visibly startles and begins screaming in terror.  It's just a baby scared by an unfamiliar face--a mask really--but Kylo can't help but feel rejected.  He flinches. 

 

This is his son.  He has a son.  Kylo doesn't yet know what to make of this news or its implications.  But he will be damned if he’s going to play the Han Solo role today and just walk away.  Right then and there, he decides that he himself will be the last Skywalker child to grow up with an absent father.  This is his son and he might not know him or even want him.  But the kid is his and he’s taking him.  If history is any lesson, it will spare all of them a lot of heartache years from now in the future. 

 

“Come, Rey,” he tells her softly.  “We're leaving.”

 

“No—“

 

“I will not hurt you or the baby.  Now, come.  We will discuss this in private.”

 

"N-No--"   Rey hugs the child close and stumbles to the side.  Her eyes are wide and keep darting to the troopers behind him.  Kylo can tell she is about to attempt to run past him again. 

 

This has gone on long enough, Kylo decides.  He beckons forward a trooper.  "Hand someone the gun and catch her," he orders.  He waits for the trooper to hand his blaster to a squad member.  Then as Rey lurches forward Kylo snatches for the child.  It is an instant tug of war.  But Kylo simply waves a hand and blanks Rey's consciousness with the Force.  She slumps and the trooper lunges to break her fall. Then Kylo hands over the screaming baby to another trooper and reaches over to gather Rey into his arms, sweeping her up to carry her off cradled protectively in his arms. 

 

At last his wife is reclaimed, but this is not how he has imagined their reunion.  The realist in him knew that Rey would have to be captured or at least persuaded.  But he had never contemplated a child in the mix.  This baby complicates things enormously, Kylo knows.   The issues between he and Rey just got a lot harder, he fears.

 

And things look to have been hard for Rey already.  For she is as slim as he has ever seen her, and that’s not a good sign.  Some people gain weight when they are unhappy and stressed, and some people lose weight.  Rey is one of those who loses weight.  And looking down, Kylo notices for the first time the deep shadows under her eyes.  His Rey looks exhausted and worn out.   No doubt being a single mother hiding from the First Order has been hard.  But this is a problem of her own making.  She should never have hid this from him.   Rey would have had all the help she wanted if only she had stayed with him.  Or, at the least, come back to him. 

 

As he walks back to his shuttle, his anger rises as his mind races.   She had left him and then attempted to steal their son from him.  Once again, a fatherless Skywalker boy would be raised in obscurity on this god forsaken world.  All so that one day he could swoop in to surprise a boy raised to hate and fear him.  This is the trap his family can't seem to get out of and he'll be damned if they will repeat it another generation.  Children need fathers.  Boys especially need fathers.  How could Rey have possibly thought this to be the right decision?   Was life raising his kid on her own really preferable to everything he can give her?   And everything he can give their son?

 

Rey is going to be mad as Hell when she wakes up to find he has snatched her.  But what can she expect after her own duplicity?  Did she really think he would walk away from her?  That he would walk away from their son?    Kylo silently thanks the Force for its intervention.  Without today's chance meeting, he might never have found his wife and child.  And now all those Force visions of family dysfunction are starting to make a lot more sense.  Because the Force had been trying to tell him the secret that Rey would not.

 

He is striding towards his shuttle about to board when Kylo Ren stops in his tracks.  He senses something.  Suddenly, there is another ripple in the Force and it’s not Rey.  Abruptly Kylo shoves her into the arms of the surprised trooper at his side.  “Put her on board,” he snarls his order. 

 

Then Kylo whirls to scan his surroundings.  He knows who this is.  It’s a presence he hasn’t felt for a long time.  And now twice today, Kylo Ren is grateful that he decided to visit Tatooine. 

 

Where is he??  Kylo’s sense are suddenly sharply attuned.  Yes . . . he’s very close.

 

“Ben!”  The shout comes up from amid the crowd behind him held back by barricades and troopers.  But that doesn’t stop a Jedi.  With a tumbling leap worthy of an expert gymnast, the old Jedi Master easily eludes his pursuers and drops gracefully to his feet not ten meters behind Kylo.

 

The Sith smiles behind his mask but he doesn’t turn.  “Luke Skywalker.  You’re a hard man to find.”

 

  


	22. Chapter 22

“Let her go, Ben!  Let her go!”

 

Kylo ignores Skywalker’s command.  He turns to the troopers who have all trained guns on the Jedi and starts issuing orders.  “Don't let my wife or my kid off that shuttle or you're all dead men.   Do not interfere.  Skywalker is mine for the killing.  And keep the ship primed for takeoff.  Whatever happens, keep my family away from the Jedi at all costs.”  Then he waves his hand and shoos his men onboard.    

 

Kylo Ren is the latest in the long line of Siths who have faced down an angry Jedi.  And he is merely the latest in his family to turn a sword on his kin.  Grimly, Kylo looks around at wretched Tatooine and thinks that some things never change.  And he’s damn tired of it.  The legacy of Skywalker drama ends today, he silently vows. 

 

He takes a deep breath and lights his saber.  Slowly, Kylo turns around to face his destiny.

 

Old Plagueis had long warned that Force-users are agents of change.  Teaching his Apprentice that when change happens in the Force, it happens quickly.  Kylo himself had proven that with the Starkiller years ago.  Now, he plans to prove it again.  One of them will walk away the victor today.  For this long awaited contest will be a battle to the death and not to a draw.  

 

Kylo Ren intends to win.

 

“Your powers are weak, old man,” he taunts his old Jedi Master as he twirls his sword, warming up his grip and his wrist.  “You should not have come back.”  

 

Skywalker doesn’t answer with words, he answers with his sword.  It’s a streak of green as he comes in fast. 

 

And that just makes Kylo smile behind his mask.  “For shame,” he mocks the sanctimonious old Jedi.  “The Force is only for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”

 

“I’m defending that woman and her boy.  Let her go, Ben.” 

 

And once more, the Last Jedi comes in fast from the left.  It’s his favorite attack pattern, Kylo remembers from years past.  Kylo could deflect it as a teen, so it is no great threat years later to a fully trained Sith with reflexes seasoned in war. 

 

Kylo observes closely now.  He has no idea what his uncle has been doing in exile but getting lightsaber pointers from Force-ghost Yoda isn't it.  Luke Skywalker is using the same moves he taught young Ben Solo twenty years ago.  Kylo begrudgingly admits that his uncle is still spry and he knows how to use a sword.  But the fight went out of Luke Skywalker years ago, Kylo thinks. 

 

This isn’t the man who climbed into a cockpit for a suicide mission against the Death Star.  This isn’t the half-trained kid who confronted his Sith lord father on Bespin to save his friends.   And then returned to take on Sidious too for a final showdown.  No, this Luke Skywalker is a man who twice before has declined to kill his nephew.  A man twice humbled by his late Sith Master.   A man who has brooded for years in solitary exile while his mother and others fought the good fight.   Yes, Kylo thinks to himself, this is a tired old man who crawled out of hiding to make a last stand for what little remains of his cause.

 

Now it’s Kylo turn to come in from the left.  His blade is a red streak spinning as it swings for Skywalker’s head.  But it is deflected in time.

 

“You’re too late to the fight, Uncle.  I’ve already won.” 

 

“You can't win.  You will never defeat hope.” 

 

The first few attacks and answers are over.  Now, the two men circle one another.  Each sizing up the other’s skill.  Kylo has youth on his side, but his uncle has far more experience in these sorts of showdowns.  Still, at over six feet, Kylo has the distinct advantage of a longer reach.  Plus, Luke Skywalker’s counterbalancing speed seems to have diminished somewhat.   All in all, Kylo feels good about his odds.  But the Jedi doesn’t see it that way. 

 

“You couldn't defeat old Snoke with a sword so you had to use the Starkiller.  You won't defeat me with a sword either, Ben.   Especially not that archaic thing.”  His old Jedi Master dismisses Kylo’s weapon with dripping disdain.  “It may look good for the cameras, but it looks more dangerous to you than to me.”

 

Snoke had insisted that Kylo learn to use the tricky crossguard Sith saber of old.  It’s more broadsword than elegant dueling foil, but it has distinct advantages.  Chiefly, when it comes to disarming passes.  There is more surface area of blade to use to flip your opponent's saber.  That's how Snoke had defeated many a Jedi in his heyday and the Muun Sith had made sure to pass on that knowledge to his Apprentice.  Now, if Kylo can just lure his uncle into the correct position, this battle will end quickly. 

 

“Look how old you’ve become.  How slow,” Kylo taunts as he throws up a hand to Force push his uncle back mid-swing.   Their swords fail to connect and Kylo advances, pushing his uncle back.  “Did you come home to die?  Because you’re going to die today.”

 

And now Kylo comes from the Jedi’s left side again.  Skywalker has always been weakest on his left side.  And he's shy of an upward thrust--probably because that's the swing that Vader used to cut his hand off.  And so Kylo throws in the upward thrust every chance he gets just to watch Luke Skywalker leap back.  At times, it’s almost comical.

 

“Who is she, Ben?  Who’s the girl?”

 

This question is comforting.  For whatever his uncle’s relationship to his wife, it hasn’t been as teacher.  That is a huge relief.  “You don’t even know, do you?” Kylo crows.  “Here you are ready to die for a mysterious girl you don’t even know.”

 

“I know that she is the Light.”

 

Luke Skywalker is heaving storage crates full of droids from the factory at him now with the Force.  It’s a useless gesture because Kylo just heaves them right back.  Snoke had found these sorts of tactics to be puerile.  You’re more likely to trip on the mess than you are to hurt your opponent the wily old Sith had taught.

 

“Once again, a Kenobi watches over a Skywalker on Tatooine,” Kylo snickers as he nearly takes Luke Skywaker’s leg off at the knees.  But the Jedi leaps just high enough to avoid injury.  “This time you’re the old man, Uncle.”

 

“She’s a Skywalker?”  The Jedi blinks in surprise and Kylo takes full advantage of the distraction his words cause.   But the Jedi answers his move with a quick riposte of his own.  

 

“Yes.  In a manner of speaking.  She’s my wife.”

 

“Your wife?”  The Jedi looks truly shocked now. 

 

Again, Kylo attacks hard.  Their swords are a blur and a buzz.  The sound of lightsabers connecting is distinctive, but the feel of them clashing is like nothing else.  The static energy of the plasma blade meets the kinetic energy of the swing meets the universal energy of the Force.  This is raw power fighting for dominance in a duel to the death.  And it's a rush like no other.  It’s been a long time since Kylo Ren has felt so focused.  He’s in the zone and today the Force is with him.

 

“Rey is my wife,” he confirms.  “We are estranged.  How did you find her?”

 

“By accident.” 

 

“So did I.  We both know that there are no accidents where our family is concerned.  The Force is with me today, Uncle.  I have found her and now I have found you.  Prepare to die, Jedi.”

 

Kylo goes in for his disarming pass.  The maneuver fails.  The men lock swords for a tense moment before Kylo throws his uncle back with the Force.  But a split second later Kylo is driving the Jedi back fast and hard.  It is a relentless press forward until Skywalker breaks free and leaps high to safety.  Incredibly, the Last Jedi is now standing atop Kylo’s own shuttle.

 

Evidently, the old Jedi needs a rest, Kylo thinks.  His strategy of letting his uncle tire himself with his speed and acrobatics is working.  Plus, he's an old man and they are fighting in the bright, hot morning sun of Tatooine.

 

“You know you killed your mother.   But did you know you killed your father too?”  Skywalker calls down as he paces back and forth.  “He and Chewie were on Hosnia Prime.”

 

No, Kylo hadn't known that.  But it's no loss to him.  “Han Solo meant nothing to me.”

 

“No one means anything to you.  Does your wife know that?  One day, are you going to kill her too?  Because that girl is the Light and you may dim her but you will never turn her Dark.” 

 

“I don't want her Dark.  I just want her back.  The only person I plan to kill today is you, Jedi.”

 

Skywalker throws his arms up in frustration.  “And then what's left, Ben?   More destruction?”

 

“I build things, Jedi.  I’m a leader!  You are the one who destroyed the Empire and left the galaxy in ruin for decades.”  

 

“You are a genocidal monster now.  Just like my father!” righteous old Skywalker sneers.  “Killing people doesn't make you a great leader, Ben.  It just makes you a great killer.” 

 

Kylo won’t be baited.  He knows that he is doing the right thing.  In the end, history will vindicate him.   He is the strongman unifier that the galaxy has been waiting decades for.  “My violence always has a purpose.  I ended a war you and my parents started thirty years ago!” Kylo roars this accusation.    “And you are as much as killer as I am, Uncle.  Don’t pretend otherwise.  Your hands are as bloody as my mother’s were.” 

 

“Don’t kid yourself.  All you have done is bring more tyranny to the galaxy.”  Skywalker stops pacing now and comes to a halt as he shakes his head.  “I used to think that I failed you, Ben.  That I was responsible for your fall to the Dark Side.  But I didn’t fail you.  You have failed yourself.  Time and again, as a grown man you have had the chance to correct your path.  But you foolishly decline.”

 

Kylo is getting bored with this lecture.  “Are you coming down?” he complains, “Or do I have to order my men to take off?”

 

Skywalker glares at him, then leaps down.  He opens up his final somersault with a vicious swing.  Kylo stumbles back and just barely meets the flashing green blade that comes within a hair’s breadth of his neck.  The breather has done his uncle some good and now the Last Jedi is formidable as he swings lightning fast in a series of passes.  This is the Luke Skywalker of old with the legendary quickness.  Light on his feet and fast with his blade. 

 

And now, for the first time, Kylo worries he might lose.  Skywalker has hit his stride.  And with the dream of his Jedi Academy lost, the Resistance and the Republic gone, and his parents dead, the Jedi has nothing left to lose.   Few things are as dangerous as a zealot who has nothing to lose.  

 

Again, Kylo thinks back to old Snoke’s teaching.  You don't need to be the fastest or even the best, you just need to win.  So Kylo takes a chance and again hooks the Jedi’s sword on his crossguard.  It’s the disarming pass that old Snoke claimed to have learned from a holochron.  And on the second try, it works.  Skywalker’s saber is wrenched from his grip and goes spinning into the mess of droid crates.  Then, for good measure, Kylo hacks at the old man’s hand with an upward thrusting swing Vader would approve of.  Sure, it’s his uncle’s mechanical hand.  But hopefully, it hurts all the same. 

 

“You are beaten!”  Kylo crows in triumph over the older man on his knees clutching his stump of an arm.  He holds his sword tip to Skywalker’s throat.

 

Still, his uncle struggles to his feet.   Until he fled into exile, this man had never been a quitter.  And long odds have never dimmed his uncle’s courage to fight.  With a wave of his gnarled and still attached left hand, Skywalker sends Kylo flying meters back with a vicious Force push.

 

The Sith answers with Force lightning.  This is the raw elemental power of the Dark Side that only a Sith can wield.  You don’t know the power of the Dark Side until you feel it this way, Kylo knows from experience.  It can be deflected and sometimes absorbed, but Luke Skywalker is capable of neither of those defenses just now.  And so he fries in torment on the pavement.  Kylo focuses all the anger of his youth at the man who could not teach him.  At the man who hid the truth.   At the distant Jedi Master who was a poor substitute for a father.

 

For Kylo hates.  Oh, how he hates in this moment. 

 

This is revenge for two Death Stars and the demise of two Sith.  This is payback for toppling an Empire and plunging the galaxy into disorder and war.  This is punishment for the fool who declined to rule with Darth Vader.  This is retribution for the hero turned pacifist who hid in exile rather than face him.  

 

The hate makes him powerful.  And, Dark.  Oh, so Dark.  The Force leaps to do Kylo’s bidding now.  Lightning streams from his fingertips in a torrent of deadly fury.  It streaks over and over his prey.  Burning deep as it encircles time and again. 

 

Kylo watches with satisfaction as the old man writhes on the ground in silent agony.  His body jerks and contorts but his uncle does not cry out.  Kylo is oddly reminded of Rey’s own silence during her interrogation.  It has a dignity about it that frustrates Kylo.  “Feel the revenge of a Sith!” he roars aloud as he intensifies his efforts.  He’s determined to make the old Jedi scream.

 

For only now, long after the war’s end, does Luke Skywalker reemerge and it is to take his wife and child.   To steal them like Luke Skywalker himself had once been stolen.  To perpetuate the cycle of patricide that has dogged his family for generations now.  It’s not enough that his uncle himself was a victim.  The old zealot has to make others suffer the way he did.  And for that, Kylo hates without mercy. 

 

No one steals his Rey. 

 

Fear of loss kicks in to fuel Kylo’s Dark power now.  Fear of losing his wife forever to a Jedi who will warp her mind and fill her head with lies.   Fear of losing his surprise son to a man who will raise him to be his assassin.  A man who will seek to use the boy to further his own objectives, just like he himself was used.  And then Kylo will truly be Darth Vader all over again.  One day, seeking to persuade his estranged terrorist son back to reason.  Perhaps watching helplessly as another generation squanders its potential.

 

Kylo’s hate and his fear build on one another to fuel the obsessive paranoia of Darkness.  And with it comes resolve.  For many years, Kylo Ren has wanted to kill Luke Skywalker. But now, he knows he has to kill Luke Skywalker.  For it is a primal instinct to protect your family and it is the hallmark of a Sith to covet and to possess.   And so Kylo Ren will save his newfound wife and child and punish the interloper who would make them all his victim.  Hell hath no fury like this aggrieved Sith.  For this is no political dispute in a Death Star throne room.  This is no esoteric argument with an old Muun over the supremacy of the Dark Side versus the Light.   On the ship behind Kylo Ren is everything left that matters to him and the future of the Sith.   

 

Rey is worth fighting for, Kylo knows.  And she is worth Luke Skywalker dying for.  If the past two years have taught him anything, they have taught him that Rey is irreplaceable.  And now that he has found her, he will not give her up.  He will keep her safe from Luke Skywalker.

 

His celibate priest uncle has never known love except in the abstract universalized ideal so prized by the unattached Jedi.  And it is that reticence to love that had made Luke Skywalker quick to criticize his young nephew.  It had also made it easy for him to abandon his long-suffering twin sister.  For all his lectures on empathy, Luke Skywalker had demonstrated very little of it himself.  But then again, Kylo thinks, his sanctimonious uncle has always been far Darker than he would care to admit. 

 

“You will not take her from me!”  Kylo again stakes his claim to Rey and her Light.  He stalks forward to stand over his fried and dying uncle.  Halting his Dark Side assault to smile mercilessly behind his mask.   “It’s just us now.  Darth Vader can’t save you,” he sneers.  And then he unleashes his lightning a last time. 

 

The old Jedi looks him in the eye as he gasps out “I forgive you, Ben.”  And then abruptly he fades away.  In his place is a crumpled pile of clothes.

 

A split second later, Kylo feels the great disturbance in the Force that marks the passing of the Light Side Skywalker prince.  This is a vortex of power disseminating from the Last Jedi back into the cosmos.  And now all that is left of the Light lies asleep on his ship.  Strong that it may one day grow to be, right now it is no match for the power of the Dark Side.  Kylo staggers as his consciousness tilts with this latest hard shift in the balance of the Force.   The universe skews hard to Darkness now and Kylo Ren is the locus of all that power. 

 

It is a triumph.  But it is a burden.  A very heavy burden.

 

Oblivious to the stunned onlookers, Kylo stands immobile for a long moment.  He needs to absorb the meaning of this kill.   At last, the work of many lifetimes is done.  The Grand Plan is achieved and the Jedi are no more.  He, Darth Ren, has fulfilled the vision of dominance his forebears have plotted and killed billions for.  Here is the culmination of Plagueis masterminding the Clone Wars and Sidious founding an Empire, of Vader's efforts to put down the Rebellion and Dooku's unbridled Separatist carnage.   Darth Ren is the latest in a long line of Dark disciples and the only man left standing to reap the glory.  Now he alone rules the galaxy, he alone rules the Force, he alone rules it all.

 

One by one, he has destroyed his family to overcome the past.  His uncle had been the last to fall. Now there is no one left alive to hurt him, no one to disappoint, no one to nag him about his life choices, no one to remind him of his childhood.  Their personal conflicts, their political disputes, and their differing views of the Force are now all resolved.  He has won on all fronts.  And victorious, he stands alone.

 

Completely alone.   He doesn’t even have a foe any longer.

 

He has never been more Dark. 

 

But glorious as it is, that Darkness is consuming.   Kylo calls his uncle’s saber to his hand before stumbling fast towards his ship.   He is depleted by the battle and drained from staring into the abyss within.  He blinks to clear his head.  He can barely sustain this soul crushing burden.  For such is the awesome power of the Dark Side concentrated in him. 

 

He orders the shuttle to depart as slowly he crests the top of the ramp.  He's blindly heading for what he so desperately needs.  For the next hour he plans to hold tight his reclaimed wife as he basks his mind in her Light.  To relax and heal in the proximity of its salvation.  To find some way to tip his mind and the universe back a little towards the Light Side.  Kylo Ren might be a Dark Sith, but he forever craves the Light.  And the Darker his deeds, the stronger that need.  Wise old Darth Plagueis had long warned of the need for balance, of the risk that the Force will strike back, and Kylo finally understands.

 

But when he spies Rey's crumpled form on the floor bound and shackled hand and foot, Kylo's barely contained Darkness is unleashed.  Here is his precious wife he has been seeking for years with the Light he so desperately needs.  And she is being treated as a prisoner.  It is everything Rey fears about Kylo Ren and the First Order.  And it is a disrespect Kylo considers intolerable. 

 

With a wave of his hand, Rey's shackles open and release.  Kylo kneels to yank them away.  He doesn't want Rey waking to find them beside her.  It will only confirm her worst fears about him.  He reaches to stroke a trembling gloved hand across her cheek.  Then, he straightens to roar at the troopers inside, "Who among you dares to treat your Empress as a prisoner?"

 

The trooper who steps forward loses his head to Kylo's sword.  All that destructive power within leaps out to find its next victim.  Kylo's bloodlust is barely satisfied, but he forces himself not to kill the rest.  For half toddling, half crawling towards him past the trooper's severed head is his baby son.

 

Kylo closes his eyes and inhales a deep and ragged breath.   He is frazzled beyond belief right now. 

 

The baby takes one look at his masked father, the red laser sword, his mother lying on the floor and the headless trooper, and begins screaming.  He is screaming aloud now and in the Force.  Buffeting Kylo's mind with wordless thoughts of fear.  Only one idea actually forms into a recognizable word.  _Mommy!   Mommy!_   His boy screams for his mother in the Force.  Crawling over to Rey's sprawled body to pull up to stand, leaning on her as he screams louder.  Not understanding whether she is asleep, hurt or dead.  And not really knowing what those concepts are.  Just knowing that something is wrong and he is surrounded by scary strangers. 

 

Overstressed Kylo isn't in the mood for this right now.   Too much has happened in the past half hour.  He eyes his surprise kid with distaste.   "Someone get this brat out of here!" he orders.  "Shut him up!"  Then Kylo tears off his mask. The baby screams harder still at the sight of his father's unnatural yellow eyes revealed.  And once again, Kylo feels rejected. 

 

He watches as a nervous trooper grabs for the hysterical child and heads for the cockpit. Probably to the new pilot who is a woman. Maybe she'll know what to do.  Women know about children, right? 

 

Satisfied, Kylo gathers unconscious Rey into his lap now.  Clasping her to him, he closes his eyes and loses himself to the feel of her Light.  He needs her.  Oh, how he needs her.  Killing Luke Skywalker had been satisfying.  But it cannot compare to the relief of finding Rey.   Tears leak out to drip down his cheeks as he holds on tight.  Is this relief for finding Rey?  Grief for his uncle?  Emotional overload from a morning of personal crisis?   Well maybe, all of the above plus a healthy dose of self pity. 

 

He takes her to Mustafar.   Kylo wants to rebuild what they had together in the privacy of his hidden castle.  To carve out a refuge from his Empire and his Darkness.  To have a home with welcoming arms and a warm smile to return to.  A place in the Light where he can be vulnerable and, at long last, completely honest.  With old Darth Plagueis dead, Kylo no longer needs to fear discovery of his secret vice.  He answers to no one now.  He will not be faulted for seeking the Light.

 

Rey remains asleep the whole way there.  That's a testament to his girl's exhaustion, he knows, for he didn’t put her to sleep in the Force that hard.  She should have awakened by now, except clearly her body must need sleep.   And that's just as well because Kylo has already had one awkwardly personal conversation with Rey in front of witnesses.  He doesn't need another. 

 

When they arrive at the castle, Vanee is waiting for him.  The old caretaker grins unabashedly when Kylo disembarks carrying Rey.  Just seeing the old man’s smile puts Kylo in a better mood.

 

"How happy I am to welcome the mistress safely home, my lord."  The old man's eyes sweep over Rey and he reaches to intercept her right hand.  Old Vanee knows a lightsaber burn when he sees one. "I will see to this, Lord Ren," Vader’s personal valet says quietly.  "Has she other injuries?"

 

"No."

 

"And what have we here?"  Vanee's eyes find the scared looking pilot who awkwardly holds his son and Rey's bag of baby supplies.  The boy had screamed himself to sleep on the pilot's lap. 

 

"Rey and I have a son, Vanee.   She named him Ben."

 

The castle caretaker nods gravely at this news.  "Congratulations, Lord Ren.  My old master would be very proud to know he has a great-grandson.  It is an honor to welcome home another Skywalker prince."

 

Kylo nods and the trio of he, Vanee and his wide eyed pilot enter the castle.  Kylo lays Rey on her bed and the pilot lays the baby beside her.  Staring down at his runaway wife and his secret child, Kylo realizes suddenly the obvious fact that this is his family now.  He has a family of his own.  Suddenly, as of today. 

 

"Luke Skywalker is dead," he reveals to Vanee.

 

"The Jedi died honorably, my lord?"

 

"In a duel.  He was defending Rey.  Skywalker had been watching over Rey and the boy on Tatooine."

 

“Tatooine?”  The old man knows enough of his family history to appreciate this irony.  "It was foolish of the Jedi to get between a man and his wife," Vanee decides.   "Even Darth Plagueis learned the lesson not to come between a Sith and his lady."  The old manservant considers for a moment.  "Lord Vader would understand, Lord Ren,” Vanee says softly.  “He would forgive you for killing his son.  My old master would know what it meant to regain Lady Ren and the child.  If Lord Vader had the opportunity, he would have reclaimed his own family."

 

Kylo nods at this wisdom.  He is grateful for the approval of Vanee.  Beside him, his clueless pilot looks lost in this exchange.  And that is to be expected.  Very few in the galaxy know the truth behind the last hundred years of bloodshed, all the direct result of his family's conflicts over politics and the Force.

 

"Such a fine son you have, my lord."  The old man beams down at the sleeping baby. "A Skywalker is dead and a Skywalker is born.  Long live the Skywalkers," he intones solemnly.

 

Amen, thinks Kylo.  Adding, “May the Force be with the Skywalkers.” 


	23. Chapter 23

Rey opens her eyes and the first thing she sees is the eerie red glow of Mustafar.She is in her old bedroom at Vader’s castle.Benny is lying next to her on the bed fast asleep.She’s anxious at first, but her boy looks to be fine.Someone must have gone through her bag because Benny is in fresh clothes and a fresh diaper.He has his bantha lovie toy clutched in one hand while he sucks the thumb of his other hand.

 

She reaches to lay a comforting hand on Benny and that's when Rey notices that she is wearing her wedding ring.She freezes and stares at the ring she sold many months ago.It's an unnerving sight.

 

Then she sits up and startles to find Ben leaning against the far wall with arms crossed, silently watching them both.He has his helmet off.Gone are the Kylo Ren cape and the Knight of Ren uniform.The man standing before her is not the Emperor of the galaxy she sees on the holonet newsfeeds.He looks like the businessman Ben she remembers.Habitually in black, but casually and expensively dressed.

 

She is relieved that she doesn’t see a sword.Rey is very scared of that sword.

 

She closes her eyes and steadies herself against the strong sense of de ja vu she now feels.For this is where it all began and how it all began.Only things are very different now.

 

He is different too.His face looks thin and even paler than usual.And that makes the deep shadows under his eyes all the more noticeable.His hair looks longer and a bit wilder.He’s sporting a close-cropped beard now.But all these changes are nothing compared to his eyes.Those intense dark chocolate eyes that Rey remembers are now a bright, feral yellow.In the dim light, they shine like a predator caught out in the dark.Rey had first seen those eyes in her visions of Darth Vader before she had ever seen them on Ben.But never has she seen them so vivid.Rey knows those lurid eyes mean that Ben is deeply enthralled in the Dark Side right now.He must be, she reasons, since he is head Sith now.

 

Ben’s quiet stare intimidates her for a long moment.But then Rey rallies.

 

“You look terrible,” she informs him.And it’s true.There is something very exhausted and desperate looking about this man.He might have all the power in the galaxy and all the leverage in their current situation, but he doesn’t seem happy about it.

 

“I am terrible right now,” he agrees.Then he pushes off the wall and walks to stand over her.“I brought you home, Rey,” he says softly.“Welcome home.”

 

Her eyes narrow and her voice is grim.“I am tired of you kidnapping me.” Rey is not surprised by his actions, but she is outraged nonetheless. “This is not my home.Jakku was my home.Now Tatooine is my home.This is a gilded prison.”

 

“This castle was never a prison,” he corrects her sharply.“You were never my prisoner.You were my padawan and then my wife.Don't pretend you were unhappy here.We were very happy here.”Ben pauses a moment and both his face and his tone soften.“I want us to be happy again, Rey.”

 

“I was happy because I believed a lie!” she retorts hotly.“You hid who you were from me!”

 

He disagrees.“You know me better than anyone left alive, Rey.I shared far more truth with you than I did lies.”

 

And that may be the case, but the lie he told overshadows everything, Rey thinks to herself.

 

Their raised voices are starting to wake Benny.The baby stretches and moves his head.Ben starts eyeing little Benny like he's a bomb that might go off at any second.He can't wait to get away.Ben heads for the door and beckons her to follow.And she does.For this is the long overdue conversation she and Ben should have had two years ago but circumstances did not permit it. Rey has waited a long time to give this Sith a piece of her mind.

 

The immediacy of Ben’s revelation has long passed and much has happened in the intervening period.Rey has two years of reflection, grief and bitter anger behind her.He has two years of Dark deeds and longing to temper him. And in the mix now is an innocent one year old boy who sleeps oblivious to the conflict that surrounds him.

Rey seats herself on the couch and hugs her legs to her chin.Ben—Kylo—Emperor Ren—whoever he is stands by the window looking out on the lava scene.It’s an old habit of his that Rey remembers from before.And that’s disconcerting.Because just for a moment it’s tempting to forget that this is Kylo Ren who had held a sword to her throat and over Benny's head.

 

“Why did you leave?” he asks as he turns around.And it’s annoying because it implies that he is the wronged party and not her.Does Ben think this is all about him?How typical of a Sith, Rey thinks.And is he seriously asking her why she left?Isn’t it obvious?Because he’s a lying genocidal killer.Rey has to force herself not to say those very words to his face.

 

Instead, she settles on “I can't be married to Kylo Ren.I don't know Kylo Ren.”Then Rey looks away and grumbles, “I'm afraid of Kylo Ren.Like everyone else.”

 

“Could you be married to Ben Solo?” he asks softly.Hopefully.

 

Rey shoots him down.“Ben Solo doesn't exist.”

 

“Yes, he does.Here, within this castle, he exists.”

 

Rey rolls her eyes and looks away. If he for real?Or just schizophrenic?

 

Ben steps closer now.“There is a man beneath that mask, Rey.You are one of the few people who know him.”

 

She dismisses this.“I don't think I know you at all.”

 

“You know Ben Solo.You can get to know Kylo Ren if you wish.But you don't have to.I’ll understand if you don’t want to.”

 

Rey cocks her head at him and makes a face.“You want me to pretend that things are the way they were before, is that it?To pretend that I don't know the truth?”Her tone conveys her disbelief at this suggestion.

 

But Ben just shrugs.“Yes, if you wish. People pretend things about their lives all the time, Rey.It's nothing new.”

 

“Well, I can't do that,” she snaps back.Rey of Jakku is a realist who faces the hard truths of life head on.That’s how she survived on Jakku and that’s how she’s going to survive Kylo Ren.She’s not about to start willfully deluding herself now.“I can't be with you. We can’t be together.”Rey shakes her head and glares at him.“I told you two years ago—we’re over.”

 

He’s undeterred and keeping his cool.That’s a bit maddening, actually.“I want you to live here with me again.”

 

Rey’s eyes narrow.“You mean as a couple?”

He nods.“We would live as a family. You, me and the baby.You always said you wanted a family, Rey,” he reminds her.

 

Are they negotiating or is he telling her the way things will be?Rey isn’t sure.But either way, she’s not going for it.“So you plan to keep us here as your prisoners, is that it?Benny and I would be marooned on Mustafar while you’re off running the galaxy?I'm just supposed to wait here for you to return and use me for sex and the Force?”

 

He frowns at her blunt words.Ben is looming over her now, looking indignant as he crosses his arms over his chest.“I want a wife, not a prisoner,” he informs her.“You and the baby would live in comfort and security.Just like before, Rey.”

 

She raises an eyebrow.“Does that mean I would be free to leave?”

 

Ben gives her a warning look.“You're not leaving me again, Rey.I'm not chasing you for another two years.And that kid is my son too.”He must think this sounds too aggressive because he adds, “I want us to be together as a family.Our son deserves a family.”

 

Rey drops her eyes to the floor.She knows Ben well enough to know why and how much he wants this.How as a boy he himself had keenly felt the absence of his father.His Jedi uncle had tried but failed to fill that role.She also knows that Ben is manipulating her.For no one knows how much Rey has longed for a family than Ben Solo.

 

His next words surprise her.“There is a ship out on the platform for you, Rey.It was intended to be a wedding present.I was going to surprise you with it on Corellia.On our honeymoon.”

 

A ship?He’s giving her a ship?There must be some catch.Rey slants a skeptical glance up at Ben.“Yeah, how many trackers does it have on it?I'm good at disabling transponders, you know.”

 

“Yes, I know,” he responds dryly.But he is sincere when he tells her, “You are free, Rey.You are my family, not my prisoner.You were never my prisoner.”

 

Her chin lifts and Rey gives him a disbelieving look and asks again, “So how many trackers does it have?”

 

“The usual three, I think,” Ben says as he settles beside her on the couch.“The ship has been sitting there awhile, Rey, I forget.A lot has happened since I bought it.”Ben looks deeply into her eyes now and she forces herself not to flinch at his yellow gaze.“Rey, I am trusting you with the ship because I want you to trust me again.I know trust works both ways.”

 

His physical nearness is unnerving.Next to her are the arms that used to hold her.The shoulders that she would lay her head against.The lips that kissed her.Rey furrows her brow and steels her resolve.This is Kylo Ren, she reminds herself, not Ben Solo.Then Rey jumps to her feet and now it’s her turn to walk to the windows.Suddenly, she desperately needs to put some physical distance between them.

 

She is still so angry with him.For the lie, for ordering her torture, for being stolen back to his castle yet again.But one grievance rises above all the rest.She whirls now to accuse him.“You pulled your sword on us!Your own wife and child! Why Ben?Why?We were never any threat to you.”

 

He flushes at the memory.“I thought that you had-- that you might have—“

 

“Don't answer.”Rey cuts off his awkward sputtering with a wave of her hand.“It doesn't matter.You've killed billions already. What's two more lives?”

 

“Rey, I would never have hurt you—“

 

“Liar!” she accuses.Because if only half of the holonet reports about this man are true, then he is capable of anything.And while the telltale sword burn on her right hand is bandaged, it still hurts.

 

“Rey, you have to believe me—I won’t hurt you—“

 

“You won’t hurt me??”Rey is incredulous.“How can you possibly say that, Ben?After you yourself ordered my torture.After you lied to me over and over again.After your troops hunt me down and you hold a sword to my face.You keep hurting me over and over again!”Rey stops now to swallow the lump in her throat and blink away the tears that suddenly threaten.“I'll never trust you again!I'm no fool!”

 

And that’s the crux of the matter.Because Rey feels like a fool.And some part of her would gladly be willing to keep playing the fool in order to regain the magical happiness of before.Here is the one man she has ever gotten close to, her first real friend and her husband she trusted.An ill-timed sob escapes now.Rey raises a fist to her mouth to still her suddenly trembling lower lip.But two years’ worth of pent-up emotion cannot be held back and it tumbles out her mouth.“I loved you, Ben Solo!I never told you that, but it’s true.”Saying this aloud now just brings back all the devastation of that awful day when Kylo Ren had tugged off his helmet to reveal Ben Solo’s face.Rey’s voice cracks and her face contorts as the bitter truth comes out.“I was a naïve and foolish girl who fell in love with a man who didn’t exist.”

 

He too is vulnerable now as he confesses, “I loved you too, Rey.I still love you.”

 

“No, you don’t!” she rails at him.All the hurt of his betrayal fuels the vehemence of her words.“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have lied to me!”

 

And that’s a simple truism.But deceptive too in practice.For those yellow eyes of his bore into her now with unhappy self-awareness.“Rey, if this experience has taught me anything, it has taught me to understand lies.”Ben stands and walks over to her.“People lie for lots of reasons.But when they tell lies to people they love, it’s usually to protect them.Because they think it’s for the best.That’s what my family thought they were doing when they lied to me about my grandfather.And that’s what I thought I was doing when kept lying to you.”Ben falters now and Rey just eyes him resentfully through her tears.“The initial lie was convenient,” he admits with a sigh.“I wanted to get you to do what I wanted.But then later on, I kept up the lie to protect you and to protect our love.”

 

“From what?”She fails to see his point.

 

“You were precious to me and I wanted to protect you from what I knew I was becoming.Even back before the Starkiller, I knew you would find Kylo Ren to be unacceptable.I pretended to be someone else for you, Rey.Because you deserved better.”His strange eyes have her transfixed in the moment.Here again is the desperation that Rey had sensed earlier.His voice is a hoarse whisper.“I have grown so Dark.Too Dark.I’ll never live to see forty if this keeps up.I can’t handle this Darkness alone.Not without your Light.Not without your love—“He bites his lip and cuts off his words.

 

So the Sith has regrets?That must come with the territory.Rey is unmoved as she backs away.“I can’t love you again, Ben.”

 

“Could you try?” he pleads.He looks diminished somehow. Like he needs a hug.This needy, humbled man standing before her is nothing like the bold masked Emperor Sith who had cornered her on Tatooine.The thought crosses Rey’s mind that maybe there are two different men, Kylo Ren and Ben Solo.For this man she sees before her now doesn’t seem anything like Kylo Ren.

 

“If not for yourself, then for the baby?” he urges.“I wish you had told me about the baby.I saw how hard it was on your own.”

 

Rey takes this as criticism.She bristles.“We did fine.We were fine.”

 

“I saw how hard it was,” he repeats softly. “That was a big thing to do all on your own—“

 

“You've been in my head, haven’t you?” Rey accuses.

 

“Yes,” he admits.Ben again steps forward.“Come get in my head.Rey, let me show you how hard it was for me to be alone.”

 

“No.Ben, that won't make any better--”She doesn't need to empathize with this man and she doesn’t want to help him. A man like him is beyond help. Beyond hope.How could she possibly have loved this man?

 

“I want you to understand how much I need you, Rey—“ he grinds out.There is a frustrated edge to his tone now.

 

And it’s back to being all about him, Rey thinks.“What about what I need?What about what I want?I had a life on Tatooine, you know.A job and people who liked me and helped me—“

 

“You mean those losers, ex-troopers and mechanics you call friends--"

 

“Yes!They’re good people.”His elitist condescension irks her.And it reminds her of how very different their backgrounds are.It's not just their values.It's everything about them that is incompatible.Even if somehow he had not lied, this was never going to work, Rey thinks.She puts a hand on her hip."And I'm a scavenger, remember?That's one step up from a slave, Ben."

 

And now their roles are reversed and Ben is the one who's annoyed now."You are much more than that and you know it.Rey, you don't have to toil in a menial job.I can give you whatever you want.I can give you the galaxy--"

 

"Is ruling the galaxy making you happy?Because you don't seem very happy--"

 

"If you won't do it for me, then do it for our son.So he can have the two parents we both lacked and the opportunity you never had.Rey, I don't want my son living in some rundown rented room on Tatooine.Getting a basic education on a backwater planet.Don't you want more for him?I can give him every advantage in life."

 

It's true.And it's an argument that hits home.But Rey fears that all this help comes with strings attached. She gives Ben a knowing look."All of this is so that one day, when Benny is old enough, you will make him into a monster Sith like yourself, right?"

 

"He's a Skywalker with the Force," Ben answers as if that explains it all.And maybe it does, Rey thinks glumly.

 

"If you love him, you will at least try to make this marriage work." Ben keeps guilt tripping her. 

 

But Rey isn't falling for it.Because part of her thinks that if she loves her son, she will keep him far, far away from Kylo Ren.Better for Benny to be a poor anonymous kid with a boring life on a backwater planet than grow to be a murderous unhappy Sith like his father.And who does this man think he is that he can walk back into her life and demand to have things pick up where they left off?He broke her heart once already.Rey can’t take another round of loving Ben Solo.

 

She shakes her head sadly."No, Ben. I’m sorry, but I can't do this. You are far worse than I ever feared.What you have done, Ben--it's too much. It’s evil!I can't love a man like Kylo Ren.I can't be with a man like Kylo Ren.” She hangs her head and wipes at her eyes.“I’m sorry, but I can’t,” she mutters miserably.“And I would never have loved you in the first place had I known the truth.”

 

“That’s why I kept lying, Rey.Because I wanted you to love me.”His voice cracks a little as he tells her, “I need you to love me again.”

 

“Ben—“

 

He overrides her.Those alien-looking yellow eyes of his are intense and unwavering.“Rey, I can’t be this Dark any longer.I am too Dark.Help me change.Help me be more of Ben Solo and less of Kylo Ren.”

 

“Look, I want a divorce and I want to move on--"

 

“Divorce?”Dropping the word divorce is a bad move, apparently.Because it escalates things fast.The vulnerable Ben Solo disappears and in his place is the decisive, threatening Emperor Ren."Divorce is not an option for a Sith,” he growls. "Don't make me take the boy from you, Rey.I want him to have a mother as well as a father.But if it has to be just a father, then so be it."

 

And that is the risk Rey has been fearing all along.It's the ultimate threat and Rey has no defense. She capitulates immediately."Okay, okay."She backs away with hands raised in defeat.Then switches to negotiating now. "But I won't sleep with you. This is not a real marriage, Ben.I am not your wife.And this isn't forever."This is just until she manages to find another solution, Rey thinks. Maybe once Ben sees this won’t work, he will want to move on too, she reasons.

 

“This is a real marriage and I want us to be together as a family,” he counters.“I need you, Rey.”

 

“No,” she is firm.“I’m not going to pretend that everything is okay.Because it’s not!”

 

“Will you at least try?You have to try, Rey.”Ben must see her reluctance because he reverts to his earlier threat.“If you don’t try, then I will kick you out and I will take him.”His face is ugly as he says this.Does he really mean it?Rey is not sure.But she can’t take that risk.

 

“Fine,” she snaps back.“You get your way again, Kylo Ren.But if you think these threats are helping, you’re wrong.”

 

He looks about as happy as she does.But he nods and agrees.“Fine.”


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning, Kylo wakes and instantly he feels the proximity of the Light.It's like before except there is no sleeping Rey snuggled naked at his side.But it’s something, at least.Last night’s conversation with Rey had been disheartening.But not surprising.Kylo reminds himself that Luke Skywalker is dead and his wife is found.A new son too.That’s a lot of change for one day.And, on the whole, things are infinitely better than they were just a day ago.

 

He has hope and that’s something he hasn’t felt for a long time.

 

After he is showered and dressed, Kylo wanders to the kitchen in search of caf and instead he finds Rey.She's up early.Normally, Rey would still be dozing.But this new mother Rey is up and fully dressed.Kylo stands unnoticed in the doorway for a moment looking on.

 

He's relieved to see that she is back to the pretty, polished Rey he remembers.Gone are the simple long braid and threadbare clothes.Her hair and face are done and she's wearing that pale blue dress he likes.She's got a towel spread over her lap and the baby settled on her knee.She's trying to get the kid to drink from a cup with limited success.Old Vanee looks on smiling like a doting grandpa.The baby, Kylo notes, is loving having an audience.

 

He realizes now that the enormous Force signature he had sensed in that back alleyway on Tatooine was Rey together with this kid.For there can be no doubt that this child has the Force.And lots of it.He shouldn't be surprised given both he and Rey have the Force.But he is taken aback.His first uncomfortable thought is that someday this child could be more powerful than himself.He could grow to far eclipse his father in the Force.His second thought is pride.For here is the next Skywalker Sith prince.Here is his future apprentice and perhaps the next Emperor.Here is an heir, he realizes.To the Force and to the galaxy.But for now, his heir is just a drooling, screaming bother.

 

When he strides in to pour himself a cup of caf, predictably the casual, happy mood of the room shifts.Rey scowls at him and then looks away.Vanee looks uncomfortable at the obvious conflict between them but says nothing.Only the baby seems happy to see him.Apparently, without the mask Kylo Ren is infinitely less scary.

 

"Good morning."Kylo nods to Vanee and turns to Rey. "You're looking better," he approves. He means it as a compliment but it comes out wrong.

 

Rey scowls as her eyes sweep him over. "You're looking fascist," she observes sourly.Kylo is wearing his uniform sans the cape, mask and gloves.

 

He refuses to be baited.Kylo drops into a chair.Silently, he sits and watches the kid for a moment.The baby is picking at tiny bits of fruit now.Shoveling it in his mouth with his hands just like Rey eats. Only half of the fruit actually stays in.The rest tumbles down his chin to stick to his clothes in an unsightly mess.

 

His kid is odd looking, Kylo thinks.All wild black hair, giant ears and a long, strong nose.But yes, that’s clearly his kid.He is chubby and pink and happily content despite the fruit and juice he's covered in.The kid wears a diaper and a stained and faded t-shirt that must be secondhand.The shirt has the name and logo of a famous podracing champion from a decade ago printed on the front.Kylo grunts at this.No doubt Darth Vader would approve.

 

But his kid looks nothing like the Emperor's son.The boy looks like in a few years’ time, he will be one of the gutter urchins who run barefoot in the streets of the Rim Worlds he rules.And doesn't the kid have pants?His kid should wear pants. He looks trashy in just a diaper with his baby tummy sticking out beneath the too small shirt.

 

Kylo’s face must show his disapproval because Rey eyes him with concern.He switches gears and tries again to make conversation. "Does he talk?" Kylo asks.He has no experience with babies. He doesn't know what a one-year old does.As far as he can tell, this one only screams and eats.

 

"Benny says a few words," Rey answers proudly. "Mama, juice, bantha.Stuff like that."

 

"Bantha?"Kylo blinks at this.

 

Vanee reaches to lift a rather battered looking brown plush toy off the table to display it. At one time, it must have vaguely resembled a bantha.Not anymore."Meet Mr. Bantha, my lord."

 

"Ban-ban!" the kids squeals and reaches for his toy.

 

Rey beams. "See?He says bantha."

 

Kylo just raises an eyebrow.Rey is tickling the kid now and that's when Kylo notices that she has taken off her wedding ring.He shouldn't be surprised, but part of him is disappointed.A little angry too.She’s supposed to be trying, after all.

 

"Ban-ban!Ban-ban!" The kid gleefully brandishes his toy as Rey wipes him off and turns him loose on the floor.The baby pulls to stand holding tight onto a chair and then starts taking tentative, wobbly steps as Rey cheers him on.Vanee too is watching closely as the kid makes ten or so strides and then lands in a heap.Rey is grinning, her face shining with love as she rushes to scoop the kid up and plant a big kiss on his nose.

 

Rey used to look at him like that, Kylo realizes.But not anymore.And now, watching her fawn all over his drooling brat, Kylo is jealous.Really jealous.

 

“We should be back in a few hours, Vanee,” Rey informs the old caretaker with a smile.“Before Benny’s afternoon nap.”

 

Watching this, Kylo is reminded that Vanee was in on the whole Kylo Ren secret.But Rey doesn’t seem to be holding it against the castlekeeper.Vanee isn’t getting the dirty looks that he is.Now it’s like Rey is ignoring completely that he is in the room.

 

“Back?” Kylo asks, his suspicions raised.“Going somewhere, Rey?”

 

“Yes,” she says stiffly.“I need some supplies for Benny.We’re almost out of diapers.”

 

“Vanee can get that delivered here in two hours, Rey.”

 

She shifts her weight and plants the kid on one hip and her hand on the other.It’s the posture for a fight.“Thanks, but I’d like to try out my new ship.You said I wasn’t a prisoner, Ben.”

 

Yes, he did say that, didn’t he?Kylo takes a deep breath and tries another tactic.“How about I come with you?”He tries to summon some enthusiasm as he looks at his newfound son.“It would give me a chance to get to know the kid.”

 

“He has a name, you know.It’s Benny.”

 

Right.Benny.That sounds like a name for a toy bantha.Not the Sith Emperor’s son. Ben would be okay.It’s not ideal but acceptable.He can rationalize it as having named his son after himself and not after some lying asshole Jedi who left his grandfather to die and years later saved his mother on the Death Star.But Benny?Never.Benny sounds like a kid who gets beat up.

 

But Benny, it is.At least she didn’t name the kid Han Solo, he consoles himself.“I’ve never bought diapers before,” Kylo muses aloud.

 

“You’re not starting today either,” Rey informs him.“I’m going by myself.”Then she turns and marches out of the room.

 

“I will accompany her, my lord.If you wish,” Vanee offers as they both watch Rey’s retreating form. “She is quite determined to prove her independence,” he adds.

 

Kylo sighs.He takes the hint from the understated elder caretaker.“You’re saying I should let her go alone.”

 

“It would prove your trust.”

 

And that’s the problem, because he doesn’t trust Rey.It goes against everything in Kylo’s nature to let her go with no guarantee of her return.This is the girl he sought for years and has had for less than a day.True Sith that he is, his first instinct is to control.To lock her away in his castle forever and wear her down over time.Aggression and dominance are his default setting.And that’s a hard thing to disavow.Even for Rey.

 

She returns and she has two credits cards in her hands.If it’s the ones he found stashed in her bag, Rey has about twenty credits to her name and that won’t go far.Kylo has no idea how much diapers cost, but based on his preliminary assessment his kid could use more than just diapers.Like some pants, for instance.And shoes.Sith princes wear shoes.

 

“Vanee will supplement that,” he tells Rey.“Perhaps you should pick up more than just diapers on your supply run.Those clothes look a bit small.”Rey takes this as criticism and shoots him a look.

 

Vanee is quick on the uptake and now the old servant is pressing another credit card into her hand.“My dear, do spoil the boy a bit, won’t you?” old Vanee suggests.“Perhaps a new toy?A boy should have more than one toy.And it might help him learn a new word too.”

 

Vanee charms Rey whereas his efforts fall flat.Rey accepts the credits. She’s got the baby in her arm and her bag on her hip as she strides out.Kylo is forced to run after her.He falls into step beside Rey as she heads to the landing pad.

 

“I’m going on my own,” she announces.“I’m not a prisoner, remember?You’re not going with me,” Rey says firmly.Like it’s a challenge.

 

He does not accept the invitation to argue.Instead, he agrees.“I will permit you to go alone,” Kylo says with much trepidation and more trust than he’s comfortable with.“With one condition.”They have reached the landing platform now and Rey stops in her tracks at the sight of her new shuttle.It’s a newer version of his own.Only in gleaming white.

 

“Oh!” Rey says and he’s pleased by her reaction.He has impressed her.Finally, he’s done something right.

 

“It’s faster than mine,” Kylo tells her truthfully.He slants a glance over at her.“If you run, I can’t catch you, Rey.”

 

“Really?”She looks far too intrigued by this thought than he likes.

 

“Really.Once you stole my shuttle, I had to take delivery of what was available at the time.There wasn’t time to wait for the newest version.Yours was the latest prototype at the time.”He smiles over at her.“It’s one of a kind, Rey.Just like you.”

 

“I love it,” she breathes out as she walks closer to take it all in.“I absolutely love it.”Rey turns back to him and for a moment he sees the girl he fell in love with.Without all the bitterness and the disappointment.Just Rey with her shining eyes and beguiling Light.

 

And that moves him.“I wanted you to have it two years ago.Rey, you were never my prisoner.”

 

She looks down as he says this.Rey looks flustered and she reverts back to speaking of the ship.“I like the color,” she mumbles.

 

“They offered to coat it in chromium but I preferred the white.” He turns to Rey now, his golden eyes searching hers.“You are the Light to my Darkness.We are a matched pair.I have only ever wanted you for a peer and for my wife.Rey, it was a mistake to lie to you and we have both suffered for it.”

 

She nods and he thinks that she believes him.But he can’t be sure.“So, what was your condition?” she whispers.

 

“This.”He steps forward and pulls her close, baby and all.His lips descend on hers and for a moment things are as before.Her mouth is welcoming and eager beneath his and he revels in it.Here is the encouragement he needs.Does she miss him the way he misses her?Is she haunted by memories of their happiness?Does she too wake in the night hot from lustful dreams of the past?Oh, how he needs her.Her Light, her smile, her happiness, her hope.If only things could be the way they were before.When he loved her and she loved him.

 

He could go on forever, but Rey breaks it off.Jerking her head back.Then physically stepping back.She looks confused.“I should go,” she says shakily.Then she glares at him.

 

He ignores it.Instead, he reaches for her arm.“Don’t make that a goodbye kiss.Come back to me, Rey.Please.I will be waiting for you.”

 

He means this.The next few hours are nerve-racking for him.Patience is not his strong suit. Neither is compromise. And Kylo Ren isn't the kind of guy who works things out. He tends to resolve conflict with his sword.So dealing with Rey right now is way out of his comfort zone.Kylo testily paces back and forth in his castle all morning long on com calls as he waits for Rey’s return.He knows her scheduled flight plan and destination, but she could easily have deviated from it.Rey and his son could be anywhere in the galaxy by now.Lost to him once again.Maybe forever. 

 

His lengthy com calls only confirm what Kylo knows:he should be in Coruscant today.He was scheduled for half a dozen things today but then yesterday happened and he found Rey and his uncle and things went awry.It’s too soon to leave her, Kylo knows.He should spend a week charming her and getting to know the boy.But he’s the Emperor of the galaxy and he has responsibilities.Lots of them.It’s not just all his pet projects, it’s the reports of trouble brewing on Chandrila, and General Hux of all people haranguing him to permit a Senate.The problem with being the boss is that you are always necessary.His underlings might think he hangs out all day doing nothing but that’s far from the truth.Often times the boss works harder than anyone.Kylo might control his schedule and control the decisions, but that doesn’t mean he is idle.

 

He senses Rey in the Force as her ship touches down and it’s the best news he’s had all day.He is so relieved that he abruptly drops off his com call to stomp out to meet her.He’s wondering what took so long.The nearest supply depot is a moderate sized space station less than an hour away.But he decides not to ask.It’s relief enough that she has come home.

 

Kylo is there to take the packages from Rey’s hands as she struggles to disembark laden with purchases and a sleepy baby.As soon as they are inside, Rey excuses herself to change the baby and lay him down for a nap.That leaves Kylo to poke through her purchases.He discovers that Rey has bought baby diapers and wipes and small sized baby spoons and forks.There are clothes too.Those baby leotard onesie things and matching pants.Some cute little socks too and a tiny pair of boots.

 

Vanee looks over his shoulders as he rummages through.“Did she buy a toy?” the old man asks.

 

“Yes,” Kylo answers as he plucks out the final item.It’s a small soft doll replica of himself as Emperor Kylo Ren.Complete with helmet, cape and red felt sword.Kylo stares at it a long moment while at his side Vanee smothers a chuckle.

 

“Let’s see if you can compete with Ban-ban, my lord,” the old man says with a smile.Remembering the kid’s reaction to him yesterday, Kylo won’t hold his breath.

 

When several hours later Kylo emerges from his afternoon round of com calls, he follows the sounds of laughter into the kitchen.There he finds Rey giving their son a bath in the sink.She has folded a paper boat to float among the bubbles and the baby loves it.It’s a charming domestic scene but, as with breakfast, his arrival ends all the fun.Kylo is starting to feel like the biggest buzzkill in his Empire.

 

He looks on as Rey plucks their son from his bath.Then he follows as she carries him wrapped in a towel into her room, watching as Rey efficiently dresses the baby for bed.

 

“I talked to Vanee about buying a crib,” Rey tells him offhand.“It would be safer for Benny to sleep in a crib than with me in my bed.”

 

Kylo nods.He wholeheartedly endorses this idea.He wants her and the kid to settle in here like it’s their home.In the meantime, Rey has fashioned a makeshift crib out of a delivery crate lined with blankets.It’s a bit humble for the Emperor’s son, but it’s only temporary, Kylo reasons.She lays the tired, groggy baby down in the crate with his two toys and dims the lights.

 

“I like to sit with him until he’s asleep,” Rey says softly.

 

Kylo nods.“Thank you for coming home, Rey.”He feels he needs to say this.Because for all her dirty looks and silent treatment, Rey is making an effort.She had proven that today when she returned to him.

 

“I did it for Benny,” she tells him.But she is setting limits, it seems.For Rey shoots him a warning look.“Don’t give me a reason to leave.Because I will.”

 

Yes, he knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the prior chapter were split in two. I thought it worked better as two chapters instead of a long one.
> 
> Got bored watching the Oscars (fashion was ho-hum IMO) and kept typing on my phone. Got a little long-winded, as usual.


	25. Chapter 25

The galaxy calls him ‘his Excellency’ and Vanee calls him ‘my lord,’ but Rey has decided to call him Ben.  She thinks that will be easiest since it’s how she thinks of him still.  Plus, using a fancy title will only reinforce the power differential between them.  Maybe she should simply ask what he wants to be called, but she’s afraid he will say Kylo.  Perhaps she’s putting her head in the sand, but Rey really doesn’t want to call him Kylo Ren.

 

The many names of Ben Solo are just one way in which Rey finds life back at the castle to be confusing.   Ben comes and goes as he used to, except now Rey knows exactly where he’s gone and what he’s doing.  It only takes a quick holonet search to reveal his daily whereabouts.  When Ben is at the castle, he is inevitably on com calls a lot.  But whereas he used to hide away ‘at work’ in his office, now he tends to wander around with an earpiece.  Rey might be sitting with Benny playing on the rug when Ben wanders in issuing orders.  She hears only one side of the conversation, but it’s the decision-making side.  The side that determines which political dissidents will be spared and why.  The side that determines what political favors are to be given to whom.   The side that condemns and commends.  The side that matters. 

 

This man looks like Ben and talks like Ben, but he’s not the Ben she knew.  Well, maybe he is.  But he’s also other things too.

 

Rey, however, tends to focus on all the things he isn’t.   Ben isn’t much of a father beyond being a provider.   Mostly, he just watches her with Benny.  He never helps, he just looks on silently.  He doesn’t play with their son or kiss him or hug him either.  He will smile now and then and that’s about it.  Ben keeps his distance.  He isn’t her confidante any longer either.  Rey never did know much about Ben’s work, but now she knows very little about Ben himself.  All she knows is what she sees, and what she sees is a stressed-out man who lives behind a mask and keeps everyone at arm’s length.  They are not lovers anymore, of course.  She would never allow that.  Once or twice, he has tried to repeat that kiss on the landing platform but she rebuffs him.  The last thing Rey needs is to end up in bed with Ben again.   That would only make things more confusing.  He probably thinks she’s playing hard to get, but whatever. 

 

Dinners with Ben are a stilted affair.  He tries to make conversation—mostly about the Force because it's a safe topic--but she's not into it.  She's still so angry with him and she doesn't know how to express it.  So mostly she expresses it with the silent treatment.  She might be participating in his facade of family life for her son's sake, but she's not enthusiastic about it.  And she sees no reason to make an effort when Benny isn't around to witness it.  So when he starts waxing eloquent about the Force, she just picks up her datapad and starts surfing the holonet.  Maybe it’s rude but whatever. 

 

Still, there are no fights and no raised voices.  For the benefit of Benny and Vanee, everything is polite, vaguely pleasant and thoroughly distant.  While from the outside they might look like a real marriage and a happy family, in reality it is anything but that.  There is no physical intimacy between them.  And no emotional connection either.  Not between her and Ben, and not between their son and Ben.  All and all, what they have is proximity.  Nothing more.

 

And that is a very strange irony when compared to before she had known the truth.   For back when he had hidden Kylo Ren from her, he had revealed all of the man Ben Solo.  But now that Kylo Ren is exposed, Rey finds that she knows nothing of either man.  And in a weird way, that is lonely for her.

 

She tells herself that this is a good thing—that if she is dissatisfied with this arrangement, then surely he must be as well.  And that’s her best chance of ending it.  Then, perhaps, he will give her that divorce and she can move on with her life.  Maybe one day find another man to be happy with.  The trouble is, Rey fears that scenario would end with Ben keeping Benny.  And so that is an issue she decides not to press.   Instead, Rey decides to make the best of the status quo.  For now, at least, she and Benny have everything they need.  And it’s not that she is unhappy.  It’s more that’s she’s not happy.  And there’s a difference.

 

One afternoon, Ben is pacing back and forth on a com call and she listens to him approve an execution.  It’s not the first time she’s heard this happen.  But this time Rey calls him on it when he hangs up. 

 

"Why do you spare some and not others?” she wants to know.   “Why do those men die and others live?"

 

“There was an investigation.  They got a trial.”

 

“Was it a fair trial?”

 

Ben looks thoughtfully at her, as if gauging how deep her question really is.  Then he speaks frankly.   "Those men are on Mandalore.  They are part of a warring tribal clan culture that embraces violence.  The clans would view clemency as weakness.  Rey, to spare those men is to invite disrespect among that world's citizens."

 

"And what about those others you spared earlier?" she asks, remembering hearing something to that effect this morning.  Rey only hears one side of the conversation, so she’s never precisely sure what’s being discussed.  But usually, she gets the gist.

 

"They are from a more liberal Republic world in the Core where everyone hates me.  Worlds like that love a splashy pardon and it buys me good PR."  Ben shrugs.  "Those guys are actually far more culpable than the Madalorians.  But they are lucky enough live on the right world."

 

"So, it's not fair?" Rey challenges. "Your rule is not consistent?"

 

"No," he admits plainly.   He looks her squarely in the eye. "Rey, you of all people know that life is not fair."

 

Yes, she knows this.  Rey looks down at her baby son rolling on the rug chewing contentedly on his bantha toy.  "I wish life were more fair," she says softly.  With resignation.

 

Ben follows her eyes and is quiet a moment. Then he taps his earpiece and he's back on a com call again.  Rey is only half listening now but she hears the important part. "The sentence on the Madalore rebels stands.  But it is commuted to life in prison by special intercession of the Empress.   She is an admirer of the Madalore people.  Let it be known that she grants them mercy even if I do not."

 

Rey looks up in surprise.  He just spared those men at her request?  And wait—is she the Empress?

 

“You are softhearted, Rey,” he complains as he hangs up and turns back to her.

 

“You once said you liked that about me.” 

 

“I do.  You know I love your Light.”

 

On the whole, Rey decides that life at the castle is not awful.  She and Benny have everything they need and Rey gets to spend a lot more time with Benny now.  When she feels claustrophobic with her brooding Sith stalking around issuing orders, she and Benny just disappear for a few hours off-world. Mostly, they head to the nearby space station where Rey wanders around watching people and Benny eats ice cream.   

 

Mustafar has a planetary shield and a security perimeter.  But the First Order never bothers her as she comes and goes.   Habitually, they hail her shuttle to offer her a fighter escort to her destination and habitually she declines.  Rey is such a regular at the local station docking bay that the attendants all recognize her distinctive ship.  She doesn't need to arrive with a wing of TIEs accompanying her to blow her cover of anonymity.  Luckily, the First Order guys never put up a fight.  It's always 'Roger that, Lady' and the shield gate opens and she's on her way. 

 

On a whim, Rey takes Benny to Jakku one day.  She buzzes by her old AT-AT and then lands the ship not far from the Niima Outpost.  Rey lowers the shuttle ramp and stares off into the desert for a long moment.  Ultimately, she decides not to disembark.  What Ben had told her long ago turns out to be true--she can't go home again.  Rey is not the scavenger girl any longer.  And that's a good thing, she decides.  Someday when Benny is older, she will take him to the ships’ graveyard so he can appreciate the history of this place, both for her and for the galaxy.  But for now, her foremost instinct is to protect Benny from Jakku and all it represents—war, deprivation, hardship, loneliness, exploitation and despair.  As awkward as life is at Mustafar Castle these days, Rey has to admit that it is far better than Jakku. 

 

Tatooine is a better place to visit.  Its memories are mostly good.  Rey wanders the Mos Eisley market with Benny for an hour one day before she takes the shuttle to the desert wastelands.  Ben's old stolen shuttle is still there, of course.  A little more faded and dismantled, but mostly intact.  When she returns to the castle hours later, Ben is on the landing platform waiting for her.  He always senses her arrival in the Force.  He looks her over, seeing the sand on her shoes and her clothes.  He doesn't ask about it.  Instead, he says, "Welcome home."

 

Ben keeps giving her space and freedom.  He keeps showing her trust.  But it's not helping Rey trust him.  She still feels very used, very duped, and foolishly naive.  Plus, Benny has her feeling trapped.  Were it not for her son, Rey would never have agreed to participate in this sham family.  Maybe she's being stubborn, but it's hard to let go of her anger.  It's right there beneath the surface of every conversation with Ben.  A subtext to their every interaction. 

 

Being back at the castle means more Force visions.  Like before, Rey sees the past.  It’s not always Darth Vader now, but it’s people somehow connected to Darth Vader.  All things at this castle seem to lead back to Darth Vader.  From what Rey can tell he was a complicated, fascinating man. 

 

Tonight, Rey is up walking the floor with Benny on her shoulder.   Baby Benny woke up a few minutes ago from a nightmare and Rey is trying to get him back down.  The baby is nearly asleep again when the vision comes.  

 

_How did this happen?   She can't explain it.  There is no father.   But now she's a mother to a small boy born into slavery like herself.  This mother is determined to give her son a better life than her own.  She will make any sacrifice for him, even surrendering him to the Jedi.   No attachments, they warn her, and she agrees.  She loves her son enough to give him up.  It’s a heartbreaking choice, but she is determined like that._

_Owen had said no at first, but she prevailed.  It was an easy decision now that they know they can’t have children of their own.  This child is their own flesh and blood—by marriage at least.  All the warnings turn out to be unnecessary, for everything goes fine for years.  Until one day when the boy says a name from the past out of the blue.  She should have known that was a bad omen.  When the troopers show up an hour later, she’s not even sure if they know who they are chasing.  But she keeps the secret until the end.  She is loyal like that._

_She remembers Darth Vader.  She knows better than anyone what her boy might become.  That’s why she makes the hard choices for his own good.  Sure, maybe she could have handled it better, but she does her best.  From an early age, it is clear that something is very, very wrong.  Maybe others will fault her for waging war against her own son, but they don’t really understand what is at stake.  There might still be Light in him, but that’s not enough to save him.  And as much as she loves her son, she loves her ideals more.  Some might call her detached and heartless, but the truth is that the years have made her resigned like that._

 

“What did you see?”

 

Rey whirls at the sound of Ben’s voice.  He’s standing directly behind her.  She has no idea for how long he’s been there.  "Did Benny wake you?” she asks.  “I’m sorry.  He had a nightmare,” she explains.  “He used to get them occasionally on Tatooine too."

 

Ben shrugs. "I wasn't asleep." 

 

Really?  Because he looks bleary eyed and disheveled.  Bare chested and barefoot with his sleep pants on.  And disconcertingly attractive.  Rey quickly averts her eyes and points out, "It's 2AM." 

 

"I don't sleep well here anymore," he sighs.  

 

"You used to."

 

"A lot of things used to be different around here," he says and the comment stings even if it's said without sarcasm. "What did you see this time?" 

 

Of course, he wants to know about her vision.  Before, he had always wanted to know about her Force visions.  "Mothers and sons, I think.  Two women who lived in the desert and one important lady in a city."

 

"There have been two Skywalkers who were important ladies.  Which one did you see?  Was it my grandmother the Senator?"

 

No.  Rey would have recognized the lady in the portrait.  This woman was equally as principled, petite and pretty but with a tougher, steely personality.  "I think it must have been your mother," she posits.

 

He makes a face.  "Leia Organa."

 

"The Resistance general?"  And the New Republic matriarch, the Rebellion heroine and the longtime Senator.  Wow.  Rey's eyes widen at the meaning of the secret Ben has revealed.  "General Leia Organa was your mother??" 

 

"Yes."

 

"So you--"

 

"Yes."

 

"Oh."  Now it's Rey's turn to make a face.  She’s horrified.  And now her mind is churning.  “But wasn’t she the princess of the lost world Alderaan?  The planet the Death Star blew up?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you used the Starkiller to—“

 

“Yes.”

 

Rey is shocked by all of this.  Truly shocked.  And saddened.  So much of what she knows about Ben's family and his past saddens her.   And the more she learns, the more awful it gets.

 

Ben is watching closely her reaction and he looks defensive for once.  And, under the circumstances, Rey thinks that's a point in his favor actually.  "I was trying to end a war.  My mother was the persistent type.  She never did know when to give up,” he gripes.  “The longer the odds, the more committed she became.  Leia Organa loved a lost cause."

 

"Except you," Rey suddenly understands.  Then she winces when she realizes she has said this aloud.  For Ben looks up sharply at her words. "I shouldn't have said that--I'm sorry--" Rey stammers and blushes.

 

But he's not angry.  He's surprised and a little impressed.  "You saw all that in the Force?"

 

"I saw her attack the First Order a few times."  

 

He nods.  "She was only trying to even the score.  I was hardly the model son."  Ben grunts.  "It wasn’t personal.  It was political.  My mother was a terrorist at heart, Rey.  She took out two Death Stars and the Starkiller—how many women can claim that?”  He has that wry, sarcastic smile on his face that Rey is beginning to recognize as a defense mechanism.  “Leia Organa never publicly acknowledged it, but she was Darth Vader's daughter through and through.  Vanee says Vader was strangely proud of her once he learned of the relationship.   I guess in the way that you come to respect a formidable adversary."

 

Rey makes a mental note to google everything she can about Leia Organa on the holonet tomorrow morning.  "Did they ever meet?" she wants to know.

 

"Vader and my mother?  Oh, yes.  It . . . uh . . . wasn't under the best of circumstances."  Ben is uncharacteristically vague and that raises her suspicions. 

 

Rey’s eyes narrow as she begins to see the parallels across generations.  "They were on opposite sides of a war, like you and your mother were."

 

He nods.  "Rey, my family has a long history of conflict.  You know some of it, but there is more.  We Skywalkers are all gifted with the Force and burdened by tragedy.  Mostly of our own making."   Ben looks away now and runs a hand through his hair.  Awkwardly, he tells her, "I want things to be different for us, Rey.  I don't want my son trying to kill me in twenty years the way my parents and my uncle tried to kill my grandfather."

 

"And the way you killed your mother," Rey finishes the thought for him. 

 

He doesn’t dispute the truth.  Instead, he piles on more.  "I killed my father too, Rey.  Though that was unintentional.  I didn’t know he was on Hosnia Prime.  Not that it would have mattered.”

 

“Was your father someone famous too?” she asks.

 

Ben looks irritated by this question.  “Infamous might be the better word.   I supposed he was well known in some quarters like the Hutts.  My father was Han Solo.”

 

Rey perks up.  “Han Solo, the smuggler?  The one who flew the Millennium Falcon?”

 

He seems surprised that Rey knows this.  And not pleased by the note of admiration in her voice.  “Yes. He was also a Rebellion general at one time.”

 

“Really?”  Rey didn’t know that.  She only knows of Han Solo from the stories told by traders who passed through Jakku with stolen ships to be fenced.  “Isn’t Han Solo the guy who made the Kessle Run in—“

 

“Yes.”   

 

“Oh.”      

 

She watches as Ben walks to stare out at the lava fields.   “Han Solo was my uncle’s best friend,” he says softly.  “My mother, my father and my uncle were inseparable after they met in the Rebellion.  They shared a common cause and a common foe in my grandfather."

 

Rey can’t help but notice that he’s speaking of them all in the past tense.  "Is Luke Skywalker dead now too?" she asks.  “Did you finally find him?” 

 

Ben doesn’t turn around.  He just stands there staring outside.  "Yes, the Jedi is dead.  They are all dead.  Rey, you and Benny are all I have left."

 

Ben has that lonely, bleak tone she remembers from before.   Instinctively, Rey takes a step towards him. "Ben--" she begins.

 

But he turns and interrupts.  "I don't know how to be a father, Rey," he confesses.  “My family has a terrible history of fathers.”  Something in the way he says this sounds so defeated.  But also like an excuse. 

 

"Well, you could start by paying some attention to Benny," Rey says tartly. 

 

He nods at this truth.  Then starts to explain. "You two seem so happy, Rey.  Even on Tatooine, from what I saw you were happy."   Ben looks uncomfortable now and he runs his hand through his hair again. "I don't want to mess that up.  My family--we--I--mess things up."  And that’s the understatement of the year, Rey thinks. 

 

"Over politics?"

 

"And the Force.   Skywalkers are born to rule, Rey.  Power is why we struggle."

 

"And that's worth killing each other over?"

 

"Historically, yes.  It's usually cloaked in a lot of moralizing, but ultimately it's a contest of views about power.  Who has it, how they should get it, how they should use it.  I don't want that for our family.  I'd like to get beyond the conflicts of the past."  He pauses then adds bitterly, "If we can."

 

“What conflicts?” 

 

“Jedi or Sith, Dark or Light, Empire or Republic.  The usual Skywalker drama.  It keeps recurring.” 

 

"If your uncle is dead, then it's safe to assume that Benny won't be a Jedi, right?" Rey points out.  “And if you keep your Empire, there’s no risk of a Republic.  What’s left to argue about now that you have won?”  Rey is confused why this is an issue.

 

“Forty years ago, my mother and my uncle thought they had won, Rey.  And here we are now.”  Ben looks troubled as he meets her eyes.  Then his expression shifts and now he looks determined.  "Our son will be Sith.  One day, we will rule the galaxy as father and son."

 

Yes, and therein lies the problem, Rey sees.  "You have a lot of expectations for Benny," she observes.  "Just like your family once had for you."

 

"Yes."

 

"And what if Benny wants to go to university and study history like you did?  What if he's not interested in the Force?  What if his politics are different from yours?  What if he wants to make his own decisions like you did?"  Rey could go on, but that's the gist.  "If you push all this on him, he might rebel like you did."

 

“Yes.”  Ben sighs heavily.  "That's what I'm afraid of.  Personal conflicts become political conflicts and ripen into wars if you are a Skywalker," he says bitterly.   "You can't be a private citizen if you're in my family."

 

"Why not?"  Rey gives him a look.  Because all this Skywalker talk sounds rather grandiose and elitist to her ears. 

 

"Because the Force won't let you. I should know.  Because I tried.  I ran away and ran right into Snoke."

 

Rey knows this story so she can’t fault his reasoning.  But she’s worried less about galactic politics and the Force than she is her son’s happiness.  So she asks point blank:  "Could you love a son who didn't want the same things you want in life?"

 

He thinks a moment.  "I don't know.  My parents and my uncle couldn’t.  But my uncle thought that Darth Vader could."

 

And now, Rey has to fight from rolling her eyes.  This whole ‘What Would Vader Do?’ decision guide has some serious limitations, she thinks.  Not that she’s ever going to voice that criticism to Ben.  He’s touchier about his grandfather than he is about anything else.  And maybe she’s not in a position to criticize anyway.  Because all of these conflicts seem so esoteric to Rey of Jakku for whom food and water were the main concerns for years.  She has always longed for a family.  She can’t imagine ever allowing debates over the Force and politics to destroy her family.   It’s because she’s so committed to her family that she’s living in this castle now.

 

"I never had choices in life,” she grumbles.  It’s hard for Rey to relate to all this.  “I can't pretend that I understand the responsibility that comes with choice."

 

He disagrees. "You make choices, Rey. You chose to leave me once. And every time you get in your shuttle you make a choice whether to come back."

 

That's true, but only in a way.  He's got a threat hanging over her head, after all.  Rey wonders what Ben would think if he knew how hard it had been for her to come back that very first time.  She had spent a good hour aimlessly wandering around the space station with the supply depot.  Trying to decide whether or not to return to the castle.  Coming back to Ben had made her feel like she was complicit in his treatment of her.  But it also felt like a commitment to their son.  To at least attempt to give him the two parent ideal family she herself had always wanted.   And that had tipped the balance in the end. 

 

Plus, disappearing hadn’t worked out last time.  Rey sighs.  "If I ran, you would find me again.  Eventually."  Probably. 

 

"Yes.  Ultimately, the Force would lead me to you.  It always works that way for my family."  He steps closer now and brushes a soft hand over Benny’s sleepy head.  It’s the first caress she has ever seen him give their boy.  It surprises her.  Maybe Ben is trying, in his own way.  

 

“Rey, I don’t want conflicts about the Force or about politics to tear our family apart.  You left me once over politics—“

 

“I left you over a lie—“

 

“If I hadn’t been Kylo Ren, you might not have left.”

 

“True,” she concedes.

 

Those yellow eyes of his stare intently into hers now.  "I'm a lousy husband and an absent father.   Like my own father was.   But I will try harder."

 

She nods at his sincerity.  "This--tonight—now--is trying, Ben.  This is the most honest you have been with me in a long time."   

 

"I'm a Sith,” he shrugs.  “We are secretive by nature and we rarely trust.  We aren't good at this sort of thing."

 

"Well, I'm not either.  I'm the one who grew up without a family, remember?   I don't know what I'm doing as a mother.  I never had a role model to learn from--good or bad.  I’m making this up as I go along, Ben."  Well, that plus reading way too many holonet parenting blogs.

 

He looks a bit sheepish now. "So this all sounds like a lot of self-indulgent whining to you, doesn't it?"

 

"Yeah, a little," she concedes.  "Whining is not very Sith, Ben."

 

He shoots her a rueful smirk. "You'd be surprised."  His eyes drop to the sleepy baby high on her shoulder.  “Benny was a surprise but I’m glad here’s here,” he says softly. 

 

Is he?  Rey has no illusions about Ben being thrilled to discover that he was a father.  At first, he had seemed mostly annoyed.   But perhaps the idea of fatherhood has grown on him.  “It’s not quiet around here anymore,” she remarks.

 

“Yeah,” he agrees.  “But I think I like it less quiet.”


	26. Chapter 26

One lawyer is useful.  Two lawyers are annoying.  But a world full of lawyers is a pain in the ass. Chandrila is starting to get on Kylo Ren’s nerves.   

 

He’s spent three hours listening to a briefing on Chandrila and the various strategic alternatives for how to deal with that chronically troublesome world.   He’s putting off taking action as long as possible so as not to legitimize the Chandrilans’ accusations about him.  To look reasonable and restrained.  But he is fast losing patience.  And with the history of Chandrila as the birthplace of the Rebellion against the old Empire, Kylo Ren is wary too of history repeating itself.  

 

The war is over.  Despite what his generals advise, Emperor Ren wants to move away from using violence as his default strategy.  Violence tends to promote more violence and then you’re back at war.   Instead, Kylo Ren has decided that fear of violence will be his new peacetime modus operandi.   It’s his updated version of the Tarkin Doctrine.  Luckily, Kylo Ren’s reputation for cruelty precedes his recent forbearance.  No one doubts that the Emperor who used the Starkiller will fulfill any threat he issues.  And so these days, he mostly has to issue threats.

 

Fear has kept most local systems in line and taken some of the heat out of his more vocal critics.  It's working except on Chandrila.  He’s getting very frustrated with Chandrila.

 

Kylo stands to stretch his legs and take a break when the Force overtakes his mind.  Here, then, is another vision. 

_Alone in private, the Sith pulls up the intel file and starts swiping through.  This has become his habit when he can't sleep.  It's mostly interviews with neighbors, hearsay from local kids, medical records and school reports.  On the whole, the file shows that this boy Luke Skywalker is remarkable for his sheer ordinariness.  But he knows better.   So had Obi-Wan._

_The brazenness of hiding his stolen son on his father's family farm, on his father's homeworld, with his father's surname, is galling.  And it's very Obi-Wan.   Well played, Jedi.  His kid would have been simple to find, if only the Sith had known to look.  The missed opportunity here is enormous._

_This boy is uncomfortably like his younger self.  Teachers describe young Skywalker as affable and far smarter than his standardized testing would suggest.  One notes that the boy would excel if he had regular attendance and time to complete his homework.  But farm work had apparently taken precedence.  From a young age, his boy had worked.  And worked hard._

_Still, there had been stolen moments of fun crashing jacked-up landspeeders with reckless maneuvers in desert canyons.  His kid is something of a daredevil, it seems.  You'd have to be to take on the Death Star in a snub fighter.  Young Luke must have been frustrated and bored stuck on dead end Tatooine.  With all that sand._

_There are twenty-three years of information here.  Lots of anecdotes, facts and figures but no real sense of who his kid is.  The Sith doesn't know why he keeps coming back to this file.  There are no answers here.   Just reminders of how much he has missed_.

 

It’s Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker yet again.  The lesson here is clear, Kylo thinks.  He has been given the second chance at marriage and a family that his grandfather Vader never got.  He should be grateful, Kylo knows.  And he is, really.  But he is also discouraged.   He was a fool to think that things between he and Rey could ever be as they were before.

 

Kylo tells himself that just being near her is enough.  After all, this is what he had originally intended when he first brought Rey to his castle.   Long before he knew the secret joy of her pleasure.  Long before he fell in love with her.  Long before they had a son together.

 

Being near helps.  It helps a lot, actually.  Just touching down at Mustafar Castle and sensing his wife and baby son in the Force helps.  Their Light washes over his mind and calms him.  Soothes him.  Welcomes him home.  And that ought to be enough, but it's not.

 

He's a Sith so he wants more.  Always more.  He wants Rey panting, sweaty and naked beneath him.  He wants her legs spread wide, her mouth taking in the full length of him, and her willing body at his command.  He wants things the way they used to be.  When she would be waiting on the platform to greet him with a kiss.  When her panties would end up lost in the sheets of his bed.  When sometimes they wouldn't make it through dinner fully clothed. 

 

Now she is on the landing platform with Vanee but it is perfunctory habit and her greeting is chilly.  She's busy with the baby all day, always looking after the baby with no thought spared for him.  They can't even have a five minute conversation before she is jumping up to investigate what toddling Benny has gotten into.  And he has the sneaking suspicion that Rey likes it that way.  But if you take your eyes off that kid for more than a minute, there's no telling what he will be up to.  Usually falling or climbing or putting his mouth on something.  The constant distraction is annoying.  He'll never get around to teaching Rey more about the Force at this rate.  Watching all the effort of motherhood, Kylo thinks he's beginning to understand why the Jedi had forbidden attachments.  Children are high maintenance.   Who can concentrate with a kid around getting into things?

 

But just now when he wanders into the living room, the domestic scene he finds is sort of charming.  Rey is sitting cross legged on the floor with Benny in front of her playing with blocks.  She looks up as Ben  enters and gives him a little half smile.  That’s how things are between them:  distantly friendly.  Like they are roommates who share a living space but not their lives.

 

Rey returns to stacking blocks with the baby.  It the same game and apparently it never gets old.  She stacks one block, the kid stacks another block, and she stacks a third.  Then, the kid knocks them all down and claps his hands with glee while Rey hoots her approval. 

 

It's kind of cute, actually.  So he asks, "Can I play?" as he walks over to settle on the couch in front of them.

 

Rey looks a bit shocked. "Uh.  Sure."

 

She stacks one block.  Benny stacks the next.  Then Kylo stacks the third.  With the Force. 

 

The boy rears back and then he starts to laugh. Then he knocks the blocks down and claps his chubby baby hands.  "More!" 

 

Yes, thinks Kylo, he’s a little Sith alright.

 

Rey meets his eyes and grins.  She stacks one block.  Benny stacks the next.  And again, he stacks a block with the Force.  The baby grabs for the floating block as it levitates before him.  But he misses.  Benny hesitates for a moment.  Then the baby waves his hand at the blocks and knocks them down with the Force. 

 

Now it's Kylo's turn to hoot and holler.  Rey too.  She beams over at Kylo.  "Did you see that?” 

 

Yes, he had.  His kid had unconsciously connected to the Force.  Little Ben Solo might not be old enough to talk much, but he can use the Force.  He’s amazing, Kylo thinks.

 

“How long until you're teaching him to open Daddy's beer with the Force?" Rey teases.  And, really, that's not a half bad idea, he thinks.  But Daddy.  _Daddy_.  That’s not a word he has ever used before.  But he is this kid’s daddy.   He should probably start acting like it.   After all, he had told Rey that he would try.

 

"More!" Benny demands.  And how can Kylo resist?

 

This time, Rey stacks the first block with the Force.  It's a bit wobbly, he notes.  Rey is out of practice.  But Kylo says nothing and just stacks the next block with the Force.  The baby looks like he's trying to follow suit but can't.  He gets frustrated, grabs a block and throws it.  But he accidentally throws it with the Force and lobs it to the far end of the room where it bounces hard off the wall with a thud.  That must scare Benny because he bursts into wailing tears. 

 

The poor kid must feel frustrated for failure, but all Kylo can see is that he just threw a block fifteen or more feet across the room hard and fast.  Completely by force of will.  Amazing. 

 

Kylo watches as Rey gathers the upset child into her arms.  "There’s no harm done, Benny.   That's enough for today. We can play again later," she soothes as she strokes his back.  "Did you like playing with Daddy?"   The boy brightens a bit at this and turns in her arms to smile his gummy baby smile at Kylo.  Then he waves and says "Hi!"

 

"That's Benny's way of saying that he likes you," Rey reveals.  "When we wander around the supply depot, he only says hi to people he likes.  And he always says hi to Thomas the Transport on the holonet."

 

Kylo can’t help but smirk at that comment.  So, he ranks up there with cartoon characters and strangers at the local space station.  Rey seems to think this is a compliment but really it's a telling statement about how little his kid knows him.  And the fault for that is solely his, Kylo knows. 

 

Rey disappears to put the boy down for his afternoon nap and Kylo goes back to his office to immerse himself again in datapads and com calls.  Two hours later there is a soft knock at his door.  It’s Rey. 

 

“You have to see this,” she says in a whisper.  Then she puts her finger to her lips to indicate stealth and beckons him forward.  Together, they creep towards Rey’s room.  From the open doorway, he sees Benny sitting up in his crib.  That’s nothing unusual.  He must be up from his nap early.  And then Kylo looks closer and sees Ban-Ban the beloved bantha toy.   It’s levitating in the air before the baby who is trying to reach to catch it.

 

“Are you doing that?” Kylo whispers to Rey.

 

“No, are you?”

 

“He’s doing that,” Kylo realizes. 

 

The baby continues his play, oblivious to his audience.  Kylo stands close behind Rey, proudly watching over her shoulder.  

 

“I love that boy so much,” Rey says under her breath.

 

And before Kylo thinks better of it, he raises his hands to grip at her upper arms.  “You’re a wonderful mother, Rey,” he leans in to tell her.  He means it.  “Benny is lucky to have you.”

 

She turns in his arms and looks to him.  “You really think so?” she asks.  For, of course, his girl is insecure about her mothering.

 

“Yes,” Kylo answers solemnly. 

 

Then the baby looks over to see Rey and automatically pulls up to stand in the crib, arms hanging over the bars.  “Mama!” he says happily as Rey steps forward to pick him out. 

 

The moment is lost, but the meaning is clear.  The way back into Rey’s heart is through their son, Kylo sees now.  And crafty Sith that he is, he begins to plot his strategy. 

 

He grabs his datapad and heads back to his office for some more work.  But when he gets there, he realizes that he’s picked up Rey’s datapad and not his own.  He pokes at it to reveal its recent search history.  There's a blog on teething pain remedies, lots of pictures of celebrities with some expensive baby stroller, an article on fifty ways to get over your ex, and several articles on his mother.  He can work with this, Kylo thinks.  Then he hurries to replace the datapad in the living room before Rey is any wiser.

 

That night at dinner after Benny is abed, Kylo starts making an effort.  He doesn’t bring his datapad to the table.  Instead, he brings a bottle of wine.  Rey watches silently as Kylo uncorks and pours it with the Force.  He looks over to catch her eye. 

 

“Show off,” she tells him.

 

He doesn’t react.  He just pours her a glass.  It’s been a long time since they have drank wine at dinner.

 

“I think I’m back to zero alcohol tolerance,” Rey informs him offhand.  “I was pregnant or nursing mostly on Tatooine and I didn’t drink.”

 

“Rey,” Kylo smirks knowingly at her, “You never had any tolerance.  One glass and you’re happy.  Two glasses and you’re tipsy.”

 

“Three glasses and I’m under the table,” she finishes for him.  “Yes, I know.”

 

“That’s not how I remember it,” he says softly, catching her eye.  “Three glasses and you were bent over the table usually.”  She blushes and looks away.  Then she puts down her glass.  Perhaps he has been too bold.

 

“Tell me about Benny,” he leads off, anxious to try out his new strategy.  “Tell me what I have missed.”

 

And here is the topic he has been searching for because Rey can’t say enough about her little boy.  She sits across from him happily sipping wine and talking about their boy’s short life.  About how he rolled over at three months, sat up at six months, and crawled at nine months.  About his first tooth and his first word.  About how he once got a terrible virus and it took rounds of medicine to cure him.  She had to resort to scavenging but she got the medicine and Benny got better. 

 

“Was that when you sold the ring?” he asks.   He’s curious.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I wish you would wear the ring,” he tells her and Rey doesn’t respond.  So, he keeps talking.  “The ring changed hands several times before I found it.  The stories I got back were all about a woman selling the ring to support her kids.  It never occurred to me that those stories were true, Rey.  I would have taken care of you both had I known.  You and Benny will never want for anything in the future, Rey.  I promise you that.”

 

He sees her take another big gulp of wine.  But she says nothing.

 

“I understand why you left me, Rey.  I understand why you hid our boy.  I wish you hadn’t done either of those things, but I understand.”

 

“I would have told him about you eventually.  When he was old enough.”  Rey is defensive now. 

 

And he can’t resist pressing his case.  “You of all people know how important a family is, Rey.”  She drinks again.  And now he pours her a second glass. 

 

She looks away.  “I need to take the shuttle up without Benny.  I can’t try any maneuvers with Benny onboard.”

 

He ignores this attempt to change the topic.  “The thing about family is that sometimes they hurt you, Rey.   I’m your family and I lied to you and hurt you.  I am sorry for that.”

 

She eyes him resentfully.  “Is this the point where I’m supposed to say that I’m sorry I left you?  That I’m sorry I hurt you?”

 

“Do you feel that way?”

 

“No,” she sighs.  “Mostly, I feel sad.  Sad for me because I am trapped with you.  Sad for Benny because you ignore him still.  He’s got the Force, so now maybe you’ll be interested . . . ”

 

“Rey—“

 

“I’m not sad for you, Kylo Ren.   I’m just sad that you’re not the man I loved.  I guess that’s being sad for me again . . . “  Rey looks horrified now as she starts to cry.  She wipes furiously at her cheeks as if that will stem the flow of emotion.  But it doesn’t work and now she looks embarrassed.  She jumps to her feet ready to flee the room.

 

"Rey--"  He's up and out of his chair now too.  And in four steps, she's in his arms.  Her head on his chest as her shoulders rack with great gulping sobs.  He's a Sith, so he understands emotions.  How powerful they can be at times.  "Let it out, Rey.  It will help."

 

And perhaps it's selfish of him, but he's glad she's crying in his arms because at least she's in his arms again.  Rey smells like perfume and her hair is soft against his cheek.  He holds her close, feeling her waves of emotion wash over his mind.  She's sad, angry and confused.  And vulnerable.  Very vulnerable. 

 

As Rey struggles to regain composure, she sways a little in his arms.  Maybe Rey is a little drunk after all.   "I'm going to have to revise my earlier assessment," he teases.  He wants to put a smile on her face again.  Just minutes ago Rey had been happily sharing memories of Tatooine.  And then this happened.  "Two glasses of wine don’t make you tipsy.  Two glasses put you on a drunken crying jag."

 

"You were hoping for three glasses," she mutters and then hiccups.  

 

"Of course," he admits and it’s true.  But it looks like he won’t be seducing her tonight after all now that’s she’s a weepy mess.  This is not how he was hoping dinner would go.  "What can I do to make you happy again?” he asks.  She's miserable, he's miserable.  It's time they got past all of this.  He's in for a protracted political cold war with the Core Worlds, he doesn't need a cold war at home too.  Plus, he can’t stand to see Rey cry.   “What can I do to make you smile?   Tell me and I will do it."  

 

"I'm trying," she wails.   "But this is so hard.  I can't trust you."  Rey pulls back slightly to look up at him and complain, "How do I know that you won't kill me and Benny like you killed the rest of your family?"

 

She's still afraid of him.  Because like everyone else, she's afraid of Kylo Ren.  Ever since he pulled off his helmet standing next to Snoke, Rey only sees the worst of him.  How he misses the days she had believed the best of him.  "Rey, I love you. I won't hurt you.  I will never hurt our son."

 

But telling Rey she is safe is like telling Rey he is sorry.  It doesn't matter how often he says it.  Rey still can't accept it. "You hurt people all the time. The war is over and you're still acting like Kylo Ren."

 

He looks her in the eye.  "If I don't hold the galaxy together, then all the deaths from the war will be in vain.  Rey, we all lose if I lose.   And then it will be civil war without end."

 

"What are you saying?" she asks as she wipes at her eyes.  She's a sniffling, teary, hiccupping mess but she's still adorable to his eyes.  Especially tonight with her Padme curls. 

 

"Publicly, I'm always going to be a version of Kylo Ren.  But with your help, I can be a better version."

 

"My help?"  Rey is taken aback at this suggestion.   Her brow furrows.  "I'm just a scavenger.  I can't help you rule the galaxy."

 

"Why not?  Everyone else wants to tell me what to do.  You at least have some standing as my wife."   He brushes a stray curl back as he urges. "Be my Empress, Rey." 

 

"I don't understand."  Truly, she looks confused.

 

"I want your support.  I want your opinions.  I want your advice."

 

"Don't you have people for that?" she complains.  "Trained and educated people?"

 

"None with your Light."

 

"I'm just a scavenger."

 

Rey is back to self-deprecation and it annoys him on her behalf.  "You are far more than that," he informs her.  Rey has more street smarts than his generals.  Anyone who can survive on their own on Jakku has excellent judgment when it comes to crisis decision making and assessing danger.   "Think about it, Rey."

 

She looks up.  She’s curious.  "What would I do?"

 

He sits her back down.  Pours them both a glass of wine. Then he starts talking to her about Chandrila.  If he’s not going to seduce Rey, then he might as well get some unbiased advice on Chandrila.   They already share the Force and a son.  Who knows if they will ever share a bed again.  But he wants share the galaxy with Rey.  And tonight, he will start with Chandrila.


	27. Chapter 27

Rey no longer hides when the weekly deliveries from the First Order arrive at the castle.  These days, she often takes Benny along to watch.  He loves seeing a ship land, even if it’s not Daddy’s ship.  And so this morning, Benny, Rey and Vanee are all awaiting the transport's arrival.  Ben is inside on a com call, as usual. 

 

Once the shuttle lands and the men pushing the delivery crates follow Vanee into the castle, Benny's excitement is sated.  Now he's amusing himself by scooting around the landing platform on a ride-on toy made to resemble a pod racer.  Daddy had presented the toy to Benny when he arrived yesterday.   Her little boy loves it.  It rolls especially fast on the smooth pavement of the landing platform so Rey mentally prepares herself to be out here for a while. 

 

"Hello," a voice calls out from inside the transport.  It’s one of the First Order crew wandering down the ramp.  "I see you out here each week with the baby.  You must be the nanny.  I'm the pilot.  Name's Kedrick."

 

"Hi," Rey says, wondering how to handle this situation.  ‘Hi, I’m the Empress’ probably isn’t the best approach.   So she plays it cool.  "I'm Rey," she reveals with a smile.  After all, what's the harm in a conversation?  This guy is about to leave anyhow. 

 

The pilot is young and boyishly handsome with ruddy hair.  His face has the same distinct pallor as Ben’s.  Probably because as a pilot, he's always in space and never outside near a sun.  Ben's white skin is from his helmet, of course. 

 

The pilot nods over at Benny. "That's his kid, right?”

 

“Yes.  That is Kylo Ren’s son.”

 

“He’s bigger than the last time I saw him,” the pilot appraises with a friendly smile.  And that’s a point in his favor because Rey likes any guy who likes kids.  “Is that what Ren looks like under that mask?"

 

"Pretty much," she concedes.  Benny strongly resembles his father.  "Only shorter," Rey adds with a laugh. 

 

"No one ever sees Ren without that mask.  I guess you're one of the lucky few."

 

"Uh . . .”   What does Rey say to that remark?  “Yeah, I guess."

 

"I saw that one of those crates contains a new stroller for the kid.”  Really?  Rey hadn’t known that.  Is this another Daddy surprise?  Ben really is trying lately. “It’s a fancy one.  It will need to be put together," the pilot tells her as he walks closer.  "I know the old man is hopeless with fixing anything.  He won't be much help.  But I'm pretty good with a toolkit, Rey.  How about I drop by someday while the kid's asleep and put it together for you?  My sister has kids and I'm always putting together stuff for her.  Baby gear can be harder than it looks to assemble."

 

Rey nods noncommittally and suppresses a smile.  She’s pretty good with a toolkit too.  "Yeah, you're right . . . " 

 

The chatty pilot keeps talking.  He leans in to ask sotto voce, "So, what's she like?"

 

"Who?"  Rey isn’t following.

 

"Ren's lady.”

 

“Oh.“  Rey hesitates.  It might be time to end this conversation.  This is getting awkward.  “Benny,” she calls. “We’re going in soon.”

 

The pilot is persistent.  “Oh, come on, you can tell me.  I know she’s your boss, but I won’t tell anyone.  No one ever sees her.  She's been here forever--long before you showed up, Rey.  I remember delivering a bunch of dress boxes here once years ago."

 

Rey searches for something innocuous to say.  "Uh  . . .  she's nice . . . I guess . . . "

 

The pilot’s eyes light up.  Now he starts pumping Rey for more information.  "Does Ren really keep her locked up?  My CO says he keeps her locked up."

 

"She's shy," Rey improvises. "That's why she doesn't come out."

 

"Shy?  Huh.  I wouldn't have expected that of a grand Empress.  The rumors say she's from Mandalore.  Is that true?   Because those women are fierce.  Yeah," he decides after a moment. "One of those clan duchesses would be a good match for the Jedi Killer Kylo Ren.   Think of the weaponry alone."

 

Rey laughs at this.  "Oh, no.  She's not from Mandalore.  She's from the Rim."

 

He raises one eyebrow.  "Nice, shy and from the Rim?   Who knew?  That sounds so normal.  So not Starkiller Emperor Ren."  The pilot looks down at Rey and smiles suggestively.  "I like nice girls too."

 

The pilot has his hand up leaning against the transport now and she's standing in his shadow.  Yes, this guy is definitely flirting with her.   He's got the dominant stance and he's leaning in closer now.

 

"So how about I come by tomorrow and put together that stroller?  And how about you give me your com channel code, Rey?  That way I can talk to you without his little Imperial highness running around.  Do you get a day off because I do and maybe we--"

 

"Daddy!"

 

Rey's head turns, the pilot's head turns, and it's a deer in the headlights moment for each of them.  Emperor Ren stands on the edge of the platform in full uniform sans the mask and gloves.   His arms are crossed and his face disapproving as his cape lifts with the breeze.   Even without the iconic mask, he is instantly recognizable.   So is the buzzing sword that leaps to ignite in his hand as he starts striding forward.

 

"Wheee!!!"   Oblivious little Benny rolls by at top speed, lost in his play. 

 

How long had Emperor Ren been standing there?  Long enough, apparently.  Rey scoots away, the pilot pops to stiff military attention, and up stalks Kylo Ren with his sword blazing.   His eyes are gleaming yellow, she sees.

 

"Get inside, Rey." 

 

"Ben--"  Rey's eyes are transfixed on the sword.  She remembers the burn of that sword.  Reflexively, she fists her right hand.  "Ben, don't!   Please don't!"

 

"Get inside and take the boy, Rey."

 

Beside her, the pilot's eyes are wide.  He looks confused.  And terrified at the sword tip poised at his neck.  "E-Excel-lency," he stammers.  "Sir--"

 

"Who do you think you are that you can come to my castle and hit on my wife?" Ben hisses.

 

"W-Wife???"  The pilot’s eyes dart momentarily over to Rey but then snap back to the sword tip.

 

"Yes,” Ben purrs.  “She is my wife."

 

"Ben, he didn't know--” Rey begins to explain.

 

The Sith’s head swivels to regard her now. "Of course, he didn't know.  Because you won't wear your wedding ring, Empress.  Presumably, that might have deterred this little episode.  Even if he didn’t know you were mine, he would have known you are married.”

 

Oh.  Yeah.  He’s right.  But regardless, some harmless mistaken flirtation is not a reason to kill a man.  “Ben, don't hurt him!” Rey intercedes.   “Please!”

 

“I'm not going to hurt him,” he snarls.  “I'm going to kill him.”  

 

He means this.  He is completely serious.  Rey starts to panic.  “No--you can't!   Please--don't!   For me--please!”

 

"I've killed men for far less, Rey."  Ben lunges slightly forward with his sword.  The pilot rears back in fright.  The poor man is ashen faced and trembling.  "Did you think you were going to fuck my wife?" Ben growls.  “You aim high, pilot.  Very high.”

 

“Benny is right here!   Turn that sword off!” Rey wails.

 

“If you don’t want the kid to see this, then take him inside, Rey.”

 

“Ben—listen--I will wear the ring!  Spare this man and I will wear the ring.  That way no one will make this mistake again.  This is my fault, Ben, not his!”

 

Ben doesn’t answer.  He just lunges slightly forward with the sword a second time, toying with his prey.  The Sith smiles as the pilot shies away. 

 

“I will wear it wherever and whenever you want, Ben.  I promise!“

 

And suddenly now they are negotiating.  “All the time, Rey.  You are mine.  Forever.”

 

“Fine.  Just don’t hurt him!  He’s done nothing wrong.”

 

Ben’s face hardens.  “No man dares to covet what is mine, Rey.”

 

She gets it.  The pilot gets it.  Point taken.  In a last ditch effort, Rey slides up close beside Ben on his left side, taking care not to go near the sword he holds aloft in his right arm.   She slips her arm around his waist now and turns her face up to his.  “Please, Ben,” she whispers.  “It was an honest mistake.  Spare him for me.”

 

“You are softhearted,” he complains.

 

“Yes,” she breathes.  “I took pity on a droid in the desert, remember?  You like me softhearted.”

 

With a grimace, he lowers his arm and the sword is at his side now.  They are in a half embrace as he turns to looks down at her.  His eyes find hers and then they wander to her lips.  There is a moment of indecision.  Is he going to?   Yes, he's going to kiss her.   Rey doesn't need to fall into that trap again.  Because while her heart might be estranged, her physical attraction to Ben still very much remains.   Especially now that he's got that beard.  The beard is hot.  Rey steps away fast. 

 

But not fast enough.  With Force-attuned reflexes, Ben firmly catches Rey with his left arm and plants a kiss on her upturned face.  And that’s how the rest of the transport crew and Vanee happen to find them as they exit the castle and walk back to the transport with their now empty floating delivery crates.   The Emperor is thoroughly kissing his lady—who the crew had previously thought to be the nanny—while his sword blazes at his side, the pardoned pilot trembles at his feet, and their kid scoots around on a pretend pod racer. 

 

Red-faced, Rey breaks it off.  She collects Benny and marches inside with as much dignity as she can muster.  She’s oblivious to Vanee’s wide grin as he follows behind with Ben.  But she does hear her husband instruct the old caretaker that the unlucky pilot is not welcome at his castle again.  That prompts Rey to put down her son and whirl to complain, “You terrified that man!  He didn’t deserve that!”

 

Ben shrugs.  “He’ll get over it.  In a day, he’ll be bragging to his barracks that he hit on the Empress and lived to tell about it.   This is the only war story that guy will ever get.  He’s a cargo pilot.  They’re never the hero.”

 

Old Vanee’s eyes narrow as he turns incredulous eyes on Ben.  “That pilot showed disrespect to the mistress?”

 

“He thought I was the nanny,” Rey says with exasperation.   “It was an honest mistake.  I don’t look like an Empress.”

 

Vanee does not appreciate this excuse.  “I am surprised that you let him live, my lord.”  The castle steward says this with something approaching reproof.

 

Ben shrugs again.  “I let him live because he had good taste.”

 

Rey sighs and turns on heel to head to her bedroom.  She rummages around and locates her wedding ring.  Then she jams it on her hand and returns to display it like she’s brandishing a weapon. 

 

“There,” she announces as she waves her hand in front of Ben.  “Are you happy?”

 

“Very happy.”  He smirks.  “Every day with you is bliss, Wife.”

 

Rey ignores this sarcasm and turns back to Vanee.  Time to move on.  She wants to know about the delivery.  “Did we get the carrots?”

 

“Yes, my lady.   They are in the kitchen.”

 

Rey goes to investigate and Benny follows.   “Carrots?  I hate carrots,” Ben complains as he too comes along.  He watches in silence as she washes and peels two carrots before handing one to Benny.   

 

Ben walks to stand over the boy in his high chair.  “You don’t have to eat that, son,” he advises sagely.  “No matter what your mother says.”

 

“He has another tooth coming in towards the back.  Chewing on something helps to ease the soreness,” Rey explains.  “Plus, a carrot is nutritious.”  She wants her son to have a better, more varied diet than she did.  No blue fortified protein ration muffins for Benny.  He will have fresh food.

 

Ben nods thoughtfully at this.  Then, he turns back to the baby.  “Chew on Ban-Ban, son.  Skip the carrot.”

 

This is counterproductive, she thinks.  He’s confusing Benny.  Rey plants her hands on her hips and cocks her head.  “Don’t you have a galaxy to run, Emperor Ren?  Maybe some com call to be on?”

 

“Nope.  Not for a whole hour.”  As if to prove his point, Ben settles into a chair beside Benny.  He kicks back and props his boots on the table.  But he’s not watching the boy gnaw on the carrot.  He’s watching her.  And smiling absently.

 

“What?”  Rey demands.

 

“Nothing.”

 

It’s not nothing.  “What are you staring at?”

 

“At you wearing my ring.  I only saw it on you that one day, Rey.  We were married only a week before I lost you for two years.”

 

It’s true.  And maybe that’s why this marriage seems so new still.  So fragile and incomplete.  Because it had barely begun before it was over.   Rey sighs.   “A lot changed that day.”  They’ve discussed this many times before.  She would rather not dwell on it.

 

“Not everything changed,” he says quietly.  “I still love you, Rey.”

 

There he goes again with his random declarations.  This is becoming a habit of his.  Rey ignores it.  But her eyes dart involuntarily to her ring.  “It's huge,” she remarks as she looks down on her hand with fingers spread wide.  “Very huge and very red.”

 

Ben nods.  “Precisely.  The next guy I catch hitting on you had better be blind or he's a dead man.”

 

“Ben—“

 

“What?”  He’s unrepentant.  “I'm a Sith.  We're the jealous, possessive type.”

 

Rey gives him a look.  “And the violent, crazy type.”

 

“Yep,” he agrees.

 

Rey grabs her own carrot.  Then she takes a seat at the table across from Ben and begins munching away too.

 

Ben makes a face.  “Gross.”

 

Rey just munches with more relish.  “Food is food.  I could tell you stories about stuff I ate on Jakku when I couldn’t afford a portion,” she informs him. 

 

He raises a hand to forestall her.  “Please don’t.  I don’t want to know.”

 

Now it’s Rey’s turn to smirk.  “You know, for a bloodthirsty Sith you can be awfully prissy sometimes.”

 

“Even Sith have their standards.”  Ben leans in to confide in Benny.  “Remember that, Apprentice.  Even Sith have limits.  One of mine is carrots.”

 

Rey looks over at Benny thoughtfully.  Then, she asks, “Why do you want Benny to be a Sith Apprentice?  You said that I didn’t have to be a Jedi to learn the Light.  That I didn’t need the Jedi Order’s rules.  Why will Benny need the Sith teaching?  Why do we need any of these distinctions if the Force is the Force?”

 

Ben looks at her like she’s speaking heresy.  “It’s tradition, Rey.  There are two sides and two sides only.  If you are a Force-user you have to make a choice.  You are Dark or Light.  Pick the Jedi or join Team Sith.   Those are your options.”

 

“Why?”

 

“What do you mean ‘why?’  Those are the options.  A lot of the teachings are in diametric opposition, Rey.  It’s a binary choice:  either/or.”

 

“But what if Benny never learns about the Jedi and the Sith?  What if he connects to the Force however feels natural to him?   And for the purposes he wishes?  Without limitations.”

 

Ben raises an eyebrow at this.  “Unlimited power?  That’s very Sith of you, Rey.”  Now he’s leering across the table at her.  “Come to think of it, I might like you a little bit Sith . . . “

 

“I’m serious,” she objects.  “Why don’t you teach Benny the best of both traditions?   You know them both.  You could do it.”

 

He gives her a condescending look.  “The Sith won, Rey.  The Force war is over.  Our tradition prevails.  Once more the Sith rule the galaxy.  What’s the point of the revenge of the Sith if we are just going to keep teaching the Jedi tradition?” 

 

“You yourself say that you are too Dark,” she points out. 

 

“True,” he muses.  “Too Dark is self-destructive.  Like too Light can become weak.”

 

“Isn't there a middle ground between the two?”  

 

“Not historically.  But you misunderstand.  I want to be less Dark, Rey.  Not less Sith.”  Ben shifts in his seat and plants his feet on the ground again.  He leans forward towards her.  “You know,” he confides while looking sort of goofy happy, “This is very Skywalker of us.”

 

Huh?   “What?”

 

“We’re sitting around the kitchen table talking about the Force.  That’s very Skywalker.”

 

Rey rolls her eyes.  Ben and his beloved first family of the Force.  “If we’re Skywalkers, shouldn't we be fighting?”

 

He considers this.  “You're right.  Guess I should pull my sword again.  Stick out your hand, Rey.”

 

Is he serious?   He’s not serious.  Those yellow eyes of his are laughing at her.  She glares back.  “Don't start, Ben.  One sword incident is enough for today.” 

 

Now her Sith is grinning wickedly.  “It got me a kiss.  Who do I have to threaten to get you naked?”

 

Rey shoots him a prim look and her eyes dart to their son.  “Benny is listening,” she hisses.  “He's right here, you know.”

 

He scoffs at her reaction.  “You baby him too much.”

 

“He is a baby!”

 

Ben sits back and crosses his arms.  All joking fades and he looks contemplative.  Serious.  “I do want us to get beyond all the Skywalker drama, Rey.”

 

Yes, she does too.  From what she knows, none of the Skywalker women end well.  And the family dysfunction is legendary.  “Then don't we need to get beyond all the Force drama too?” she asks.

 

“Yeah,” he agrees.  “If we can.”

 

“We can try,” Rey urges.  “Think about it, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because i get mistaken for my own kids' nanny. Sigh. Private school mommy b*itches. 
> 
> And because the security guard at the corner drug store very politely tried to pick me up when I was there buying pedialyte. I'm thinking 'yep, still got it' and it's the ego boost i need. Then i tell Mr Blue about it later. 'Were you dressed like that?' (me: Batman tshirt, cardigan, jeans and flats). 'Yeah.' 'No wonder. Wear your wedding ring next time.'


	28. Chapter 28

Family life is . . . different.  Kids have always been an abstract concept for Kylo.  One of those ‘someday eventually’ sorts of things that he gave little thought to.  But in the end it would happen because, of course, the Skywalker line must continue.  But first and foremost came his war and his Empire.  Other, more personal goals never merited the same attention. 

 

But Benny is here and, for the most part, it’s surprisingly great.  Certainly, it is never quiet around his castle anymore.  Benny has brought a lot of laughter and his share of drama to the place.  A tired kid is a grumpy kid, Kylo has learned.  And that's when the screaming starts.  Crying babies are not his thing.  He dashes to get on a com call the moment a tantrum starts, leaving Rey to deal with it all.  She’s better at it anyway, he rationalizes.   Nurturing seems to come naturally to Rey. 

 

His castle is full of everyday family scenes now.  Kylo walks into breakfast and finds Vanee patiently demonstrating to Benny how to use a fork.  From the narration that accompanies this demonstration, it's clear that the lesson has more than the baby as its audience.  Sure enough, Rey is listening closely.  "I want to do this right," he overhears her say.  "Benny copies everything I do."   Teaching the baby turns out to be a great incentive for quietly improving Rey's table manners.   And, as with everything else, Rey is a quick study.

 

There are lots of toys underfoot now that he finally shared the secret of little Benny Solo with Nestor.  Nestor's wife Cesi immediately sent over a big box of baby toys for his little princeling.  Rey spends half the day on her hands and knees cleaning them up but they end up strewn everywhere all the same. Inevitably, he tromps on one every so often.   Kylo is on a tense com call one morning when he trods upon some toy that lets out a loud squawk.  Then, it begins loudly singing some inane catchy tune.  Kylo has to stab quickly for the mute button in an effort to preserve what’s left of his dignity.

 

The only time the house gets quiet is in the mid-afternoon when Benny takes his daily nap.  Today, Kylo hears water running as he paces back and forth with his datapad in the living room.  Curious, he pokes his head in the open door to Rey’s room.  Rey must be in the shower.  The door to the bathroom is wide open and steam wafts out.  He stands there a moment in the room, half hoping she’ll wander out of the shower to grab the towel waiting on the bathroom counter.   Then, he’ll get to see his wife naked.  It’s been far too long since he’s seen his wife naked.

 

_Hi Daddy._

 

Kylo whirls to blink at his child standing in the crib.  Benny’s awake.  He hadn’t noticed that.  He’d been too busy angling to see Rey naked.

 

_Hi Daddy.  Can you hear me?_

 

Benny hasn’t spoken aloud.  Kylo is dumbfounded.  Staring open mouthed at his kid.   Kylo concentrates a moment in the Force and responds.  _You can talk to my mind?_

 

_Yes, Daddy.  Talk to me, Daddy._

Kylo’s eyes narrow.  For how long has this been going on while he has been unaware?  Kylo concentrates again.   _Does Mommy talk to you in her mind too?_  

_No.  But she can hear me sometimes.  Mommy tells me to use words.   Words are hard.   This is easy._

 

Of course, it's easy, Kylo thinks.  Because this child has an amazing connection to the Force.  Effortless at even this young age.  Apparently, Benny has his father’s natural talent for permeating thoughts and influencing minds in the Force.  Kylo stands and marvels at his drooling, teething, saggy diaper eighteen-month-old son who is a prodigy in the Force.  Benny speaks language to Kylo’s mind that he is not yet developed enough to articulate aloud. 

 

What a Sith this boy will become, Kylo thinks. 

 

_What's a Sith?_

 

And now Kylo realizes that his son is not just talking to his mind, he's in his mind.  And the boy is as stealth about it as old Darth Plagueis had been after centuries of practice.  Good Gods, thinks Kylo.  This kid is powerful.  Kylo plucks his son out of the crib and attempts to replicate how Rey holds him sitting up in the crook of his elbow.  Benny seems pleased by this.  He happily snuggles his head against Kylo’s shoulder.  This might be their very first father-son moment, Kylo realizes.  And he’s ridiculously proud that it’s about the Force. 

 

_What’s a Sith, Daddy?_

 

That's a question which Kylo Ren has been struggling with lately ever since his conversation with Rey.  For what does it mean to be a Sith in the absence of a Master and of a Jedi foe?  Years ago, Kylo might have answered that a Sith is a warrior of the Dark Side.  But that's not what he is any longer.  At least, not all he is. 

 

More and more, Kylo is realizing that each generation remakes the Force.  Old Plagueis had revered and clung to his ancient Sith lore, pouring over his Dark Side tomes and holochrons for secrets to uncover.  But all of that knowledge and history had died with his Master in his bunker.  Now, there is no library to consult, there are no ancient Sith recordings to peruse, and there is no Master to guide him.  Darth Ren alone decides what the Dark Side means and does.  And what Darth Ren teaches his son and his wife about the Force will be what endures. 

 

Kylo has a newfound respect for what Luke Skywalker was trying to accomplish years ago with his Jedi Academy.  For his uncle too was attempting to pass on the best of an institutional tradition that was highly personal to an individual Force user.  And the history of the Sith is now as lost to Kylo as the Jedi archives and holochrons were lost to his uncle.   

 

It is daunting.  With all the loss of knowledge caused by the deaths of Luke Skywalker and Darth Plagueis, has he unwittingly kicked off the Dark Ages for the Force?  Or is this a new Enlightenment begun?  He’s not certain.  But Kylo is coming around to Rey’s suggestion to view this as a fresh start.  Here is a chance for his son to learn the Force without constructs of Light and Dark.  Hopefully, he will learn the best of both and wield them as the situation requires.  And then his son will never grow as Dark and beleaguered as his father.   And never be as weak and desperate for the Light as a result.

 

Peace is a lie but wars can be managed, Kylo now thinks.  If he can keep the conflicts localized and small, he can avoid another destructive galactic civil war on his watch.  And hopefully, Darth Ren will get some credit for that from his Light Side wife, from the skeptical galaxy, and from the unforgiving Force.   Because now that he has all the power, he has to hold onto it for his son.  And that means keeping his family together, the galaxy relatively peaceful, and the Force on his side.

 

So . . . what does it mean to be a Sith?  A Sith is a leader, Kylo decides.  He protects and cares for his family, he rules the galaxy, and he wields and teaches the Force.   Kylo is struggling for how to communicate answer that answer to Benny when Rey walks out dripping and wrapped in a towel.

 

Damn, Kylo thinks.  He had been so focused on Benny that he had missed seeing her naked. 

 

"Oh," Rey says.  Her eyes are wide as she takes in Kylo standing by the crib with the baby nestled in his arms. 

 

"He woke up early," Kylo explains awkwardly.  Suddenly, he's embarrassed and feeling like an interloper in his own house with his own kid. 

 

Rey nods slowly.  Then her face bursts into a wide grin.  “You look good holding him, Ben.”  She cocks her head now.  “Look at my two men.”

 

_Mommy’s happy_.

 

_Yes.  I like when your Mommy is happy._

Hours later, Kylo has worked through dinner on a series of strategy sessions for the crisis brewing on Chandrila.  Finally coming up for air, he wanders out of his office to find Rey.  She is in her nightgown with her hair down laying on her stomach on the couch with her feet sticking in the air.  She's got her nose in a datapad.  More mommy blogs probably.   

 

Rey looks up as he walks in and gives him a small smile.  That's the encouragement he needs.  He plunks down heavily on the couch by her feet.

 

She looks over her shoulder and assesses him sympathetically.  "Chandrila again?"

 

"Yes."  He sighs, impulsively grabbing at her pink toed feet to tuck them in his lap.  He settles back and runs a hand through his hair.  "That world is deliberately provoking me to make an example out of them."

 

She casts him another look over her shoulder.  This time she's wary.  "Are you going to do it?"

 

"I haven't decided."  Rey doesn't pursue the issue further and he's glad.  Kylo is all talked out on Chandrila.  He has listened to his advisors debate it for the past six hours.  He doesn't want to debate it with Rey too.  He wants a distraction. 

 

"Benny is talking to my mind," he reveals as he tickles her foot.  Rey is super ticklish. 

 

"Cut that out!"  She's kicking him now.  "What do you mean?"

 

No more tickles then.  He settles on a stroking caress up her calf to her knee.  "Benny speaks to my mind in the Force.  He did it today for the first time.  It was amazing."

 

He has her attention now.   Rey flips and she's sitting up with her legs in his lap.  "Once or twice, I have thought that I heard his voice in my mind.  But I was never sure.  Are you sure?"

 

"Yes.  Our boy will be very powerful in the Force.  He's already far more advanced than I would ever have thought possible."

 

Rey beams at him.  There's nothing she enjoys more than praise for her beloved Benny.  "He is wonderful, isn't he?"

 

Kylo meets her eyes and smiles.  "Not as wonderful as his mother."  He leans over and his hand wanders higher.   Rey's eyes widen but she doesn't stop him.  He takes that as permission.  He's a bold Sith and he wants more.  Now he's got her voluminous nightgown bunched at her thighs and he's leaning into her.   Remembering the stolen kiss on the landing platform and wanting a repeat. 

 

"Ben--" she whispers.  It sounds like a warning.

 

He ignores it.  Instead, he reaches beneath her legs and gathers her forward into his lap.  She's half turned facing him.

 

"Kiss me."' It's both a command and a request.  And Rey complies.  She is soft and yielding as he kisses her breathless.  They both come up for air, panting from the passion.  Foreheads touching as his arms hold her close.

 

"Please, Rey.  Be mine again." 

 

"Ben, I don't know--" She makes to squirm away, but he holds her fast. 

 

"Come to bed.  Let me love you."  His lips suckle at her neck now.   "Be my wife again."  Don't say no.  Please don't say no. 

 

He pulls back now.  Waiting for her answer.  He watches as Rey climbs to her feet.  She stands over him and holds out her hand.

 

"Not here," she tells him.   And that's a yes. 

 

She glances meaningfully to the hallway with the open door to her room where their son is sleeping.   Yes, he doesn't want to get interrupted by a waking baby either. 

 

"My room," he decides as he stands and tugs her forward.   Once inside, she stands in silence as he disrobes until he is completely bare.  Seeing this, she takes a deep breath and slips off her nightgown and panties.  Then she takes another deep breath and walks forward into his waiting arms. 

 

His hands and lips are trembling, he wants this so much.  He is like an addict who has been too long without his spice.  Two years is an awfully long dry spell without his Rey.  

 

Does she want this like he does?   Does she know what this means to him?  In his needy, lustful state he forces himself to go slow.  Not to scare her with his urgency, not to rush her Light.  He might not get another chance at this for a while.  And so while his every instinct is to throw her down on his bed and rut hard and fast, he forces restraint.  This is his wife whom he loves and he will treat her like the precious gift she is. 

 

Rey's eyes are wide and frightened as he leads her to the bed.  He can tell she is nervous and uncertain.  Almost like it's their first time together again.  And that's ridiculous given how much sex they used to have.  But that's also how special this seems.  Look at her--quivering beneath his touch.  If he can't kiss those fears away, he will soothe them the only other way he knows how:  he jumps into her mind.   It's an easy thing in this intimate moment, but it takes her by surprise.   In all the times they have made love before, never have they done this.   Rey gasps and he sees she is more anxious than ever. "Easy," he breathes out in a kiss as he drops all his mental barriers to let her in.  "See how much I want you.   See how much I love you."

 

And now it is his turn to gasp. He can't help himself—he shudders with pleasure at the feel of Rey in his mind.   This is the connection he has craved for so long.   He feels what she feels, she knows what he knows.  Her nervous excitement is his too.   His rising passion is felt by her.   This is how they will come together—they will join their bodies and their minds.   No other woman can give this to him.  For in all the galaxy, only Rey is his peer. 

 

This is the only way left for him to apologize now that words keep failing.  Here is the means to show Rey how lost he was during her absence, how he had mourned her love but refused to give up hope of finding her.  For she is the Light and she is the hope for him to find happiness again.  He shows her how elated he was to find her on Tatooine before their awkward reunion had gone so badly.  He shows her how shocked and surprised he was to find a baby.  But also how glad he is now to have his little son.  Very little of his life as the Sith Master Emperor of the galaxy has gone as he had expected.  In the end, most everything has been harder and less satisfying than he had envisioned.  Mostly, because he had been alone. 

 

What happens when what you think you want isn’t what you need?  When what you work so hard for doesn’t make you happy?  Since he was a teen, Kylo Ren plotted to rule the galaxy and exact revenge on his family and their political allies.  That work is done.  And now the far harder, more difficult task of ruling remains.  Governing his Empire is a worthy task.  It is important work.  But it’s not enough.  Not anymore. 

 

He wants Rey at his side and his son to raise for the future.  And he wants them together and happy, like no other Skywalkers before them have managed.  Happiness comes in unexpected ways and at unplanned times, he has learned.   The prisoner you spare on a whim becomes the Padawan you never expected to have and then the wife you can’t live without.  The surprise child you tried to prevent becomes the son you who makes you proud and one day will be the Apprentice you will train.  And together, his wife and child become the meaning he has been searching for.  The reason for it all.   Here is the chance to remake the Force and reshape the galaxy and then pass it on.  For the Skywalkers ever shall rule.  Long live the Skywalkers.

 

Tonight is a two-pronged seduction--mental and physical.  For Kylo shows her all this in his mind as he worships her body.  He has longed for this so tonight he will take his time.  His fingers tremble as he runs them over her skin.  Luxuriating in the realness of her, for this is no late-night fantasy alone in bed.  This is real, she is real, and she is everything. 

 

His hands are everywhere and his mouth follows his hands.   Yes, she wants this too.  Before long, she is writhing and panting beneath him.  Matching his passion with her own.  "I love you . . . I need you . . . Never leave me again . . ." he tells her as he strokes into her.  They are eye to eye and this is as honest and vulnerable as he has ever been.  Does she believe him?   She has to believe him.   She's in his mind so she must know he is sincere.

 

He can't hold back any longer.  The feel of her body sheathing his, the touch of her mind on his consciousness, it's too much pleasure.  He gives in.  Maybe it's their mental bond or just the natural culmination of their physical passion, but Rey tips into ultimate pleasure along with him.  And in doing so, she blinds his mind's eye with her flaring Light.  

 

It’s an amazing feeling being inside his wife, pumping his seed deep into her as the Force shudders and quakes around them both.  For years the Light has beckoned to him, winked at him, smiled its Mona Lisa come hither smile at him.  And then Rey appeared and then the Light had flirted with him, charmed him and married him.  And abruptly left him.

 

So much has happened since last he felt the Light this intensely.  Billions dead to the Starkiller and his Master and parents too.  And then hundreds of thousands more dead in the aftermath of his coup as he solidified his power and cleaned out his jails and work camps.  And then Luke Skywalker.   The uncle he had once admired and loved whose last words were of forgiveness.  This Sith sinner's hands are dripping with blood, his soul is heavy with unacknowledged guilt, and his mind is plagued by secret regrets. 

 

Kylo Ren could not be more primed to embrace the Light.  And tonight, the Light leaves its mark. 

 

For this is a soft snowfall that settles to the ground and sticks.  This is the cooling rain that diminishes the afternoon heat.  Here are the first morning rays as dawn breaks for a new day.  It is a chance to begin again, to try anew, to claim a fresh start. 

 

For too long, he has been too Dark.  It cannot be sustained by himself, by the galaxy or by the Force.  Kylo Ren knows his history.  He knows that continuing in this manner means he risks being consumed by his Darkness, creating an organized rebellion, and provoking the Force to strike back on behalf of the Light.  For over time Darkness is dangerous. It is destructive.  First, it fights the Light and then it will cannibalize itself.  Kylo Ren has been teetering on the edge of the abyss for too long.  It is time to pull back.

 

He won't squander the efforts of his lifetime or the revenge of the Sith will be in vain.  So too will all the lives lost in his war.  If he is to honor his achievements and merit the sacrifices made to realize them, he must succeed.  And to succeed, he must reset his course a little less Dark.  There is no Snoke around to criticize or discipline him.  And no righteous family left to nag at him.  He can make this shift on his own terms and in his own way.  With Rey at his side. 

 

In the blissful sweaty aftermath, his wife rests on his shoulder, her hair splayed over his chest.  She is back in his arms where she belongs.  Peaceful and drifting.  But quiet.  She’s always so quiet to his words of love.  But he doesn’t let that curtail them.  He knows that the trust he squandered may forever rob her of the ability to reciprocate.   But she does care for him in her own way, he believes.

 

"I don't deserve you,” Kylo says matter of fact as he strokes her back.  “I know that, Rey.   But I will try to deserve you."

 

She lifts her head and sits up to look down upon him.  Their minds are separate now.  He can't tell what she is thinking.  Does she regret tonight?  She's looking at him very strangely. 

 

"Your eyes," Rey whispers.  "They're brown."

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

When the intel reports of an actual armed rebellion in the making on Chandrila first come in, Kylo is skeptical.  After all, this is a world of mass nonviolent protests that prides itself on its lack of weapons and negotiated solutions to conflict.  But after enough reports from disparate sources come in, Kylo is convinced. 

 

And part of him is excited.

 

The Emperor arrives in person to put down this rebellion.  Leading the troops himself like back during the war.  His red Sith sword blazing as it slashes through would-be rebels.  All in all, the insignificant rebellion on Chandrila takes only a few hours to quash decisively.  The death toll is high, as he had ordered.  The message he sends today to the galaxy at large is far more important than putting down this actual revolt. 

 

Kylo is feeling pumped and victorious as his command shuttle returns to the _Finalizer_.  Today, the battle plans have been perfectly executed and all has gone exactly as anticipated.  That’s a rare occurrence in war.  Yes, the Force is with him today.  Everything is as expected until a nervous looking aide approaches.

 

"Your excellency, Sir."

 

"What is it?"

 

"We intercepted a civilian ship prior to the battle.  It tried to run during the period when we grounded all traffic on and off world."

 

"Yes?"  Why does this concern him?

 

"It's a private shuttle with the highest level military security clearance, Sir.  We’ve never seen anything like it.  This shuttle has landing privileges everywhere in the galaxy."

 

Kylo only knows of one such private shuttle.  "Is it white?" he asks.

 

"White, Sir?  I don't know."

 

"Where is the shuttle?"

 

"The tractor beam pulled it into onboard the _Finalizer_ , Sir."

 

Rey is onboard the _Finalizer_?  That’s not good.  "And the passengers?"

 

"There appears to be a bit of a standoff currently.   The pilot demanded an audience with yourself, Excellency.  We refused, of course.  At first, Hux was content to let the pilot stew a few hours.  But he’s losing patience.  Given the security clearance level, we thought you could advise on the situation."

 

The Emperor waves a gloved finger under the aide’s nose.  "Tell Hux that no one on that shuttle is to be harmed.  I will deal with this myself when we land."

 

Five minutes later, Kylo stalks down the ramp of his shuttle into the _Finalizer_ hangar bay.  Sure enough, a gleaming white near-replica of his command shuttle is parked close by surrounded by troopers.  Kylo watches as a trooper climbs the ramp into the white shuttle.   The trooper makes it halfway before an unseen Rey throws the man twenty feet with the Force.  And then another trooper takes up the task.  Kylo watches amused as five troopers make the climb and are thrown.  Then the Emperor himself stomps over.

 

He doesn't climb the ramp.  Instead, he holds out his hand and summons the Force.  It drags Rey to him and into his outstretched arms.  He catches her and swings her around in full view of everyone.  Then he sets her down, ignoring the small blaster she has in her hands.  She looks cute as a button in her dark green tunic and culottes with her rebel princess hair buns.

 

He’s happy to see her.  But she’s none too pleased to see him.  “Put me down!  Only you could be so bold—“

 

He brushes aside this objection.  “You’d be disappointed if I wasn’t bold.”  Then he looks around.  “Where's the kid?"

 

Rey doesn't need to answer because just then a frightened Benny flies down the ramp screaming "Mommy!  Mommy!"   He's got the bantha toy in one hand and his Kylo Ren doll in the other.   Some men hold their wife’s purse now and then, but dutiful husband Kylo patiently holds Rey’s blaster as she stoops to pick Benny up.  The kid is grinning as he waves his Kylo Ren doll back and forth.   He and Rey have never explained to their son about their father’s alter ego.  But either the kid recognizes the rest of the uniform or little Benny is far more perceptive than they realize because he chimes out “Hi Daddy Kylo!” at the top of his lungs. 

 

Rey looks as shocked as he is by this utterance.

 

Kylo smothers a laugh.  “Walk with me.  I need to check a few things on the bridge,” he tells Rey as he ushers her forward and waves over his curious staff.   Around him, many eyes trace the little parade that is Emperor Ren, his staff and the strange lady with the fancy ship holding a baby.

 

As soon as this little group is standing shoulder to shoulder in the relative privacy of an elevator, Kylo demands an explanation.  "What the Hell are you doing on Chandrila, Rey?"  Today of all days, too. 

 

"I didn't know you would be invading,” she responds testily. “Is this what you were planning all weekend on com calls?"

 

"Yes."

 

She looks put out.  "You might have told me."

 

"You didn't need to know."  First Order battle plans are on a need to know basis.  He doesn’t make a habit of announcing invasions in advance.  Even to his wife.

 

Rey glares up at him.  "I told you I was going out today."

 

"You didn't say you were going to Chandrila.  That's clear across the galaxy.  A long way to go for diapers, don't you think?"

 

"I wanted to show Benny grass."

 

What?  He peers down at her.  "Grass?  You went to Chandrila to see grass?"  That’s the dumbest thing he has ever heard. 

 

Rey looks defensive now and she looks around at his staff a moment before she replies.  "He's only seen sand and lava.  I wanted him to see grass.  Trees too.  And I remembered that there was a park across the street from the main courthouse."

 

"The courthouse?"  He’s drawing a blank.

 

"Yes.  Where we got married years ago,” she reminds him.  And then she cringes and looks around furtively at this private admission.  But this is his senior staff and Kylo trusts them, so he doesn’t care.  Rey probably doesn’t remember it, but quite a few of these men watched her scream and pull a gun on him on Starkiller Day. 

 

“Did you have to kill so many people today?” Rey complains as she switches gears.

 

“Yes.  Fewer people will die in the future because those people died today.”

 

“It was live broadcast over the holonet.  You could see people dying in real-time without warning.  That was awful.”

 

“That was intentional,” he informs her.  “I wanted everyone to see.”

 

“I thought the war was over.”

 

“It will only be over if I can keep the peace, Rey.  You know how many chances I gave Chandrila.”

 

The elevator opens directly onto the _Finalizer_ ’s bridge.  “Stay here.  I’ll be right back.  Then I’ll take you two to see some grass.  I know where there is lots of grass.  Trees too.”

 

The grass and trees are on Coruscant in the private gardens of his Imperial Palace.  Ultimately, it’s the big backyard that prods Kylo into moving into his vacant palace.  Rey doesn’t much care for the prestige or the grandeur of the place.   But his desert girl likes the garden with all its Upper Level fresh air and sunshine.  The garden is where she and Benny can be found most afternoons lolling around on the grass, eating a picnic or kicking a ball.  These are the simple pleasures his Jakku scavenger desires and secretly he loves her for it.  Plus, many of the palace meeting rooms overlook the gardens so he can look out on his family now and then while he works.    

 

“What do you think?” he asks when they first arrive.

 

“It’s big.  Very big.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” 

 

“You always said you wanted to live on Coruscant,” Rey says quietly.  “And that when you did, everyone would know.  You wanted to rule the galaxy, finish with Darth Vader started, and live on Coruscant.”  Rey looks serious now.  “I missed a lot of big clues, didn’t I?  I guess love is blind.”

 

Is love blind?  Maybe at the beginning.  But over time, love is turns a blind eye more than it is blind.  Because love in its fullest, most mature form sees faults and shortcomings.  It recognizes weakness and failure.  And it understands and accepts.  Tries to support where it can.  And, on occasion, to gently prod you towards growth.   And so who you are when you first fall in love is not who you will be years later.  Because love can change you. 

 

That’s what it does for the Jakku scavenger turned Padawan turned wife and mother and unofficial Imperial advisor.  Rey’s old self would never recognize who she is today and the life she leads.  Kylo, of course, has always envisioned his future this way.  Well, sort of.  He figured that old Plagueis would still be around pulling the strings and urging him on to greater Sithness.  He hadn’t counted on Rey at his side or his son either.  And he hadn’t understood back then how important is the role of the Light.   It took losing Rey and killing his uncle to finally learn that lesson.  He needs the Light for himself and for his galaxy.  It turns out old Plagueis was right and finding a sort of balance truly is the key.  And that balance keeps his eyes mostly brown these days. 

 

“I want us to stay anonymous,” Rey decides that first day as she pokes around all the empty rooms.  “I don’t want to be an Empress, Ben.”  And that’s her insecurity talking, he thinks.  He’s about to start arguing with her when she points out, “This way, we can be normal.”

 

“Normal?”  What does that mean?  Skywalkers are never normal.

 

“Yes.  Benny can go school.  We can go outside the palace and see the city.  And when you take off that get-up, we can be like a real family.”

 

Rey has a point, he realizes.  It would be good if his son doesn’t grow up in the insular world of the palace.  And Rey understandably wants to wander around and see the city.  He can’t fault her.  He himself loves this city world.  So he agrees, on one condition. 

 

“You need to take security with you.”  She’s his unofficial Empress and that’s his heir, after all.  It’s not safe for them to be alone on Coruscant.

 

But Rey isn’t going for it.  “No,” she complains.  “That will ruin it.  You can’t be normal with stormtroopers hanging about.  I don’t want to feel like a prisoner.  And armed troopers aren’t exactly conducive to a play date, Ben.”

 

Play date?  What’s that?  “Plenty of Coruscanti have body guards.  Especially among the Upper Level ladies,” he points out.  Rey doesn’t know this, but it’s a bit of a status symbol for many ladies.

 

And that’s the wrong thing to say because Rey of Jakku does not want to self-identify with the mostly helpless and often frivolous real housewives of Coruscant.  “I’ll take a blaster.  I can take care of myself,” she informs him.

 

And that gets him thinking.  “Rey, I think it’s time you learned to use a sword.”

 

“A sword!  Really?”  Rey’s eyes light up and now he thinks this will be more than just a security precaution.  This will be fun. 

 

Later that day, he takes her to his palace training room and hands her his uncle’s lightsaber.  “It’s green!” she girlishly exclaims when she lights it up.  Yes, he tells her.  Green like the lightsabers the Jedi diplomats used to wield in the tradition of the revered Jedi Master Yoda and his grandfather’s first Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jin.  This is the sword that defeated an Empire, he tells Rey.  And it’s fitting that she use it, Kylo thinks.  Here is the counterbalance he needs. 

 

He starts slow, but there’s no need for he discovers that Rey used to fight with a staff on Jakku.  She has no need to learn the basics.  Still, it’s a risky thing to learn with a fully operational sword, but Rey is game.  And when she swings hard and true and he’s forced to leap back with the Force to safety, Kylo grins.

 

“I think,” he says as he hauls himself off the ground.  “That you’re a natural, Rey.” 

 

She beams at this praise.

 

Cesi Flick, Nestor's wife, takes Rey under her wing to teach her the subtleties of being an Upper Level lady.  Kids in tow, they wander the parks and esplanades of Coruscant and buy treats and juice boxes from street vendors.  It's Cesi that gets Benny into nursery school.  Cesi’s friend is on the admissions committee and she tells the school that Benny's dad works at the palace.  Apparently, the

 

recommendation from the wife of the First Knight of Ren carries some serious weight in this town.

  

He takes some convincing, but Rey puts her foot down.  She never went to school, but her boy will. And now two days a week for a few hours in the morning, Benny goes to school to fingerpaint and sing songs and see other kids.  Rey enjoys the time to herself and the revels in the normalcy of it all.  And it is pretty normal.  Well, as normal as things are among the Upper Level aristos on Coruscant.  On occasion—well, a lot--all this luxury and privilege intimidates Rey.  She complains to him that Benny will grow up spoiled and entitled.  That is Kylo’s cue to point out that Benny’s mother is a scavenger from Jakku.  If anyone can keep his son suitably humble, Rey can. 

 

Kids aren't good at keeping secrets.  So as Benny turns two and starts talking more and more, bits and pieces of the truth come out.  What do you want to be when you grow up, the teacher asks one day.  The emperor, answers little Benny Solo.  Where do you live?  In the backyard.  What do your parents do?  Daddy rules the galaxy.  Mommy tells Daddy what to do.  The answers are laughable childish prattle to the unaware.  But when the teachers relay all of this with a smile at the first parent-teacher conference, Mrs. and Mrs. Ben Solo exchange wary glances. 

 

But so far, all of Coruscant is unaware of the true identity of the Solo family.  The casually dressed young couple pushing the stroller is really Darth Ren, Emperor of the galaxy, and his Lady Ren.  And that two-year-old eating ice cream with the sticky face is the latest Skywalker prince.  She's got Luke Skywalker's lightsaber hidden in her handbag, he's got Kylo Ren's sword disguised in his belt. Together, they are Dark and Light and this is the hope for the future.  But everyone they meet is blissfully unaware.  Because they look like a normal, happy family.  And that is everything Rey of Jakku has ever wanted.

 

I like it here on Coruscant, Rey announces to him.  It feels like now and tomorrow.  Not like yesterday.  She’s right, Kylo muses.  Because as special as Mustafar Castle is, it represents the past.  All the conflict and the wars, the heartbreak and the tragic choices, the murder and despair.   Kylo Ren didn't conquer the galaxy in order to repeat the mistakes of the past.  The entrenched ideologues old Plagueis and Luke Skywalker are long gone, and with them the traditions of a bygone era.  Darth Ren surprises even himself as the unexpected Jedi Padawan-turned Sith Master iconoclast.  Ready and willing to depart from the limitations of the past.  Open to new ideas and eager for change.

 

The Force is the Force, he teaches Rey and his son.  And sometimes, he has to remind even himself.  Old habits die hard and he’ll always be a bit too Sith.  Power is still paramount for this enlightened Dark Sider, but it is tempered by other values too.  Well, mostly, it is tempered by Rey.  She is a voice of reason when he is in a fit of rage.  And she is fresh eyes on a problem when he is presented with the tried and true alternatives.  Rey asks ‘why?’ a lot.  Maybe it’s her lack of formal education or maybe it’s just her Jakku ingenuity, but Rey comes at situations with a pragmatic creativity that others do not.   There are times he calls a halt to a meeting so he can go find his Empress for a quick consult.  Over time, his staff figures out what he’s doing.  They watch from afar amused as the Emperor stomps out to the garden to find Rey sitting in the sunshine.  Five or ten minutes later, the meeting resumes and usually there is a new direction to the discussion.  Everyone pretends to be none the wiser.

 

The palace staff and the Emperor’s staff know who Rey is, of course.  Within the confines of the Imperial compound, she is treated as the Empress, Lady Ren.  But it’s the best kept secret in the galaxy for daily she emerges into Coruscant incognito as Rey Solo.  Here is the Empress hopping into her souped up speeder to pick up Benny from school.  Or maybe she’s going out to meet a new mommy friend for caf.  It’s all very believable because Rey is far from snooty in her manner and she’s never ostentatious.  Well, maybe her speeder is a bit ostentatious.  Like her shuttle.  Kylo had gifted her the speeder, telling Rey he wanted her to have the fastest ride in the carpool line. 

 

Only occasionally does Rey appear in full Empress mode for a private reception or ceremony within the privacy of the palace.  Kylo loves nothing more than seeing his Jakku scavenger girl decked out in her finery.  It never lasts long because once it’s over, Rey runs back to her quarters to take it all off and the Emperor is more than happy to assist. 

 

It’s public knowledge that Kylo Ren has an Empress, but that’s as much as the public knows.  Rey finds it amusing when from time to time the press publishes rumors about the identity of the Empress.   Sometimes they even print rumors about Kylo Ren’s supposed mistress.  The speculation always concerns some gorgeous tall blonde glamazon with a big chest and a runway model’s walk.  The kind of girl Kylo always thought he would end up with.  And that girl is the farthest thing from the pretty, very presentable soccer mom Rey Solo.  His wife wears sensible boots, not heels.  And she has a toddler on her hip and a bag stuffed full of full snacks and water bottles because . . . Jakku.  His Rey will always be a bit Jakku.

 

Emperor Ren is still an autocrat, but Hux and Rey convince him to convene a Galactic Senate.  Despite all Kylo’s concerns about a creating a nest of political rivals in this new Senate, the First Order candidates win handily in most systems and end up holding a super majority.  That may or may not be the result of some gerrymandering and election fraud here or there, but Rey doesn’t ask too many questions and he doesn’t volunteer any answers.  His wife seems content that there is a Senate at all.

 

The Rim is beginning to clean up, but it will be a years long process of reform.  The First Order cracks down just as hard on corruption and crime in the Rim as they do on political dissidents in the Core.   Law and order will rule the day in Kylo Ren’s Second Empire.  Quietly, he puts all the wealth that he has inherited from Plagueis to work building infrastructure and schools.  He thinks the Midas Sith Master would approve.  That old Muun always did love learning.  Plus, somewhere out there in the Rim there is a orphan who gets a free education at a First Order school now.  And that kid won’t have to cobble together basic learning from holonet correspondence school classes like Rey did. 

 

Kylo Ren might love Coruscant, but he will ever be the champion of the Rim.  Long ago, this Clone Wars-loving Emperor had learned his strategy from an old Muun financier who plotted the Separatist Crisis.   And so the industrial, frontier worlds of the galaxy continue to be his base of power and his true interest in governing.  These worlds are also a great opportunity to experiment with new ideas and approaches.   Plus, his Jakku native Empress is a source of constant insight for the far-flung reaches of the galaxy.

 

When he goes down to consult with Rey one afternoon, he finds Benny digging in the dirt but no Rey.  “Where’s your mother, kid?” he asks.

 

His son points to the bushes.  Sure enough, his Empress is coughing and choking as she spits up in the bushes.

 

“Are you sick, Rey?” he asks, concerned.  Rey is never sick.  Kylo yanks off his mask and reaches to help her straighten up.  She’s frowning and looking green.  “Let’s get you inside,” Kylo decides as he sees her distress.

 

“It’s alright, Ben, I’m fine,” she shakes him off.

 

“You are not fine, Rey.  Now, come on.”

 

“This is normal, Ben.  It will pass in a few minutes.”

 

Normal?  It is not normal for Rey to be throwing up in the bushes of his garden.  “Come on.  You too, Benny,” he orders as he puts an arm around her shoulders.

 

Rey shrugs him off again.  “Ben,” she says and something in her tone gets his attention.  “This is normal.  I think I’m pregnant.”

 

“Oh.”  His eyes widen and he concentrates a moment in the Force.  “Oh,” he repeats.

 

She’s grinning up at him.  “This is how it was before when I was pregnant with Benny.  He’s going to be a big brother sometime in the third season, I think.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’d kiss you but . . . uh . . . not now.”  She colors.  “Too gross.”

 

He shouts with laughter and kisses her anyway.

 

The next time the Coruscant gossip newsfeeds run a sensational story about Kylo Ren’s secret mistress, Rey is seven months pregnant, wearing Nestor’s wife’s hand-me-down maternity clothes and waddling around after Benny.  Rey scowls over his shoulder at the photographs of his supposed lover displayed on his datapad.  This one is tall, blonde and lithe, just like the past ones.  “I hate her,” Rey grumbles.

 

“Me too,” he announces.  “Because she’s not you, Rey.  She’ll never be you.”

 

His wife brightens a bit at this.  “So, have you thought more about the name?  This kid needs a name, Ben.”

 

“You’re still not going for Padme, are you?” he sighs.  He wants a family name for his daughter, like his son has.

 

“No.  She was too fancy.” 

 

“Then let’s go with Shmi.”  He thinks Darth Vader would approve of that choice. 

 

Rey does too.  “Shmi Solo.  I like it.  Let’s go with it.”

 

Shmi Solo arrives two weeks early.  She has her mother’s button nose and Luke Skywalker’s dirty blonde hair.  And she’s a Skywalker, so she’s got the Force. 


	30. Story Notes to Part Two

Hello and thanks for reading!  Here’s more background on what I was aiming for with this story. 

 

Part Two of this story was inspired by the John Adams opera _Nixon in China_ , specifically the befuddling last act.  I have seen that opera twice.  At the Met, of course, and recently in Houston.  The last act is a strange juxtaposition of two marriages:   Madame Mao and Mao Zedong and Pat and Richard Nixon.   Two marriages of public figures from different cultures and ideologies.  I still don't understand what the domestic intimacy of it all means, but it means something and I can't quite get it.  I know the fault lies with me and not the work.  Because it is a milestone of 20th century opera.

 

The concept of conflict and resolution within the confines of a couple stuck with me.  Can you keep a story of mostly two people interesting?  Is there sufficient drama in the meandering path back reconciliation without all the usual blueenvelopes935 plot twists and drama?  I don't know.  But I tried.  The most enduring drama in all of our lives is our immediate family.  But the everyday can be, well, everyday.  In some ways, this story was my excuse to write a ton of fluff and domestic Reylo. 

 

I grew up in the American South with long, hot and humid summers.   When I wasn’t working at the local mall, working on my tan, or hanging with friends, I was reading.  I wasn’t reading literature.  I was reading trashy old paperback gothic romance novels that housewives had donated to our local county library.  Thinking back, those books were out of date even at the time in the 1990s.  These were Victoria Holt-type gothic romances.   The stories always featured the same pairing of an innocent young virgin girl/ward/waif/governess/lady on the run who meets a tall, dark, mysterious and controlling Mr. Rochester figure/aristocrat/business mogul/vampire.  Sometimes he has a secret, sometimes she has a secret, sometimes they both have secrets.  But there is always a Big Secret.   And there’s usually some castle/manor house/remote location where the girl and Dark lord fall in love.  She’s always a bit too curious and plucky.  He’s emotionally scarred from something in his background and a bit gruff.  But still, there is eventual love.  I had those goofy romance plots and archetypes in mind when I began this story. 

 

How pleased I was to see Lord Vader’s Brutalist style castle in _Rogue One_.  It’s perfect for him and it’s the perfect setting forty years later for a Reylo gothic yarn.  I have long thought Vader needed a castle.  When I wrote _Fulcrum_ a year ago, I set it in Vader's castle on Naboo (this was pre- _Rogue One_ ). I had this idea that Rey would see Vader's ghost haunting the place and the ghost would teach Rey some of the background Skywalker tragedy.  Rey would talk to Vader like Luke talks to Ben Kenobi.  I even wrote some of it but ultimately, I jettisoned the idea.  The war became the deus ex machina protagonist in _Fulcrum_.  The wartime context of that story is what sharpens the conflicts and moves along the plot, not the Force.  My stories always seem to have one overarching invisible hand--it's the Force ( _His Padawan, Fifth Wife_ ), the war ( _Fulcrum_ ) or Snoke ( _Immune to the Light_ , _Fulcrum 2_ ).

 

The Vader's ghost idea shows up here a little differently.  It's not literally a Force ghost of Vader this time, but Force visions instead.  A mix or past and present that is confusing to newbie Rey.  This is similar to how the Force works in _Fifth Wife_ , when Snoke's Jedi seer wife sees the future not the past.  Snoke’s wife gets dragged down into the Skywalker mess trying to avoid destiny and change the future.  Here, poor duped Rey is trying to understand the Skywalker past in order the comprehend the present and the future.  Keep in mind that Rey knows nothing of the family and Force lore that you as the audience do.  Rey is as green as they come when she's found by Kylo in this story.

 

The invisible hand of the Force is what ultimately brings out lovers back together on Tatooine.  It’s also what bonds baby Benny with his father.

 

As a general rule, I don't write redemption fics because a full redemption of my Sith just doesn’t feel right—plus, that ROTJ story arc has been done.  This story is probably the closest I will get to it.  I wanted to write a Kylo who gets everything he wants and it's still not enough.  In some ways, it's too much.  He wins the war, wins the galaxy, kills his family and his Master.  It's a complete victory.  But it's not wholly satisfying.   And sometimes that's how life is.  Before kids when I was a very driven working girl, I really wanted this big promotion.  Very few people get it and I worked hard for it.   And guess what?  I made more money and I had more status but I worked harder and I enjoyed it less.  Plus, achieving that success left me a little unfocused for where to go next.  But then I quit and had babies and my brilliant career is on hold for now.  But I remembered what that felt like and wanted to put Kylo in that same spot.  What is the recipe for happiness?  It's different things to different people and it's a little of a lot of things, I suspect.  But no matter your life accomplishments, I think it's awfully hard to be happy when you are completely alone.   That’s certainly what Kylo finds out in this tale.

 

Contrary to one of the more prominent _Fulcrum_ themes, people do change.  But that change rarely happens overnight and it happens by incremental degrees.  Also, I think people have to be primed for change.  Kylo is the type who would have to be shown the error of his ways.  No one is ever going to persuade him with mere words.  And I can't see Kylo ever reforming much while Snoke is around either--the man is clearly a very bad influence and I doubt he would tolerate an Apprentice who was less than fully evil.  That’s the only reason Snoke dies in this fic—to get him out of the way for my plot.   Basically, Kylo has to hit rock bottom after he has achieved all his goals before he will call those goals into question.  And so in Chapter 22, Kylo kills Luke Skywalker—a goal he’s been angling after for many years—and that victory only makes him more of a personal wreck, not less.   In the aftermath, he’s weakened.  Crying and hugging his unconscious wife all the way back to Mustafar because this is the consequence of all his ambitions. 

 

It takes more than just love (familial love or romantic love) to redeem my Kylo.  Yes, that's a big part.  But first, Kylo has to get in a place where he is ready and wanting to change.   And then the love for Rey and his son becomes the incentive and not the reason itself.  Kylo is nothing if not goal-oriented. 

 

I have no idea what Episode 8 will entail—there’s not even a trailer out yet as I write this.  But I am fervently hoping that the remainder of the sequel trilogy does not mirror ROTJ.  I would much rather Disney take a chance and do something amazing like have the First Order actually win at the end.  Or have the Resistance win and Kylo be shown paying the price for his crimes.   After _Rogue One_ , I’m thinking that Disney might actually be brave enough to take some risks with Star Wars.  So, who knows??   Can Star Wars be anything other than a morality tale?  I’m not sure.  But aspects of _Rogue One_ were morally vague, so perhaps so. 

 

Kylo isn’t thrilled to learn that he’s a father and it takes some adjustment.  I wanted to show a little bit about how kids change a marriage.  Also, I wanted to show the hard work of kids.   At least with young kids, the whole household easily starts to revolve about the kids.  It’s natural and normal, but it has its drawbacks too. 

 

This Reylo pair never get Sith married in the Force.  There’s no pledge with a bloody knife in the moonlight. That's chiefly because that ceremony represents a tradition that Kylo and Rey are trying to transcend.  I also like the idea of our couple being married by rule of law.

 

Part One ends with Kylo firmly in the Anakin/ Darth Vader trap of lust for power, law and order.  But Part Two pulls him out.  Anakin falls into Darkness to protect his wife and children but Kylo comes out of the worst of his Darkness in an effort to hold onto his family.  As with the end of ROTJ, love redeems to some extent, once again.  This generation gets it right.

 

As I indicated in the story notes to Part One, this is a softer and more normal Rey.  That’s a large part of her appeal.  Consider that this Rey pulls a gun on Kylo in the aftermath of her betrayal but she doesn't shoot.   Contrast that with _Fulcrum_ Rey who pulls a gun on Kylo in the aftermath of her (admittedly much worse) betrayal.   _Fulcrum_ Rey shoots and keeps shooting until she is tackled by stormtroopers.  _Fulcrum_ Rey is hardened by her experience on Jakku and by war-- she's emotionally and physically fierce but completely broken inside.  She is a match for that story’s Dark and brutal and very broken Kylo.  This Rey is much less fierce and mostly unscathed by deprivation of her past.  In many ways, she is far more resilient as a person when it comes to coping.  She retains her Light despite all of her troubles.  I admire people like that who can be happy in the face of adversity.    That is the Rey who is a match for a grey Kylo and who can inspire him to be better.  And that’s how we get to our happy ending. 

 

I write the Sith and I don’t write morality tales.  We are complicated people.   Life is rarely simple when it comes to our relationships and motivations.  “Good” people can do bad things and recover from it.  “Bad” people are also capable of moments of goodness and mercy.   Over time as relationships endure and deepen, they only become more complex.   That's why our most complicated relationships tend to be with our family since they know us the longest.  Unlike friends, romantic partners and coworkers, family is hard to cut out of your life.  That history (good and bad) is always there and that is a powerful connection.   I can’t wait to see how Episode 8 explains the Kylo-Luke relationship because you know it’s going to be great. 

 

Thanks again for reading another long story.   I wish I were capable of a good one-shot fic, but sadly I’m not a great editor.   Editing takes a degree of craftsmanship that requires more time and patience than I have.  Thanks also to everyone who left comments.  I read them all, even if I rarely respond.  Comments are very helpful as a writer.  I am consistently surprised about how my writing is received.  There are chapters or moments I love that no one seems to get.  And then there are chapters that people love and I don’t get why.   On the whole, I hope this story was entertaining and worth your time. 


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